Breaking Insanity
by SweetDreamsAreMadeOfNaruto
Summary: Kakashi promised to protect Rin. He failed. Obito never want to see him again and the two part ways. A few years later Kakashi meets Obito in college. He is now a feared gang-leader, skilled manipulator and unconvicted murderer consumed with hate. He is determined to make Kakashi pay, while Kakashi desperately tries to pull Obito out of his own darkness. ObiKaka
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue

Title: Breaking Insanity

Type: Multi-chapter

Warnings: Mature/Dark content. Violence. Abuse. Non/Dub-Con. Humor.

Pairings: Obito Uchiha x Kakashi Hatake

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 1 – Prologue

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Obito lost his mind.

He lost his heart.

His humanity.

With Rin, he lost his whole world.

At first, his rage wasn't directed at someone specific. Kakashi told him the news and was the first, most logical person to blame. Over the years his hate grows stronger. He hates the world. He hates everything. But when he meets Kakashi again his fury starts to focus more and more on one single person.

He wants to hold Kakashi's pulsing heart in his hand, he wants to feel his former friend's blood running cold. But first, he wants to make him suffer. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Obito is going to break him, and break him hard. Death is too good for him. And Obito Uchiha does not show mercy.

 **o o o**

Kakashi's guilt is suffocating.

Nightmares are haunting him.

But it's Obito's refusal to forgive him is what kills him inside.

She's dead. He broke his promise. He didn't mean to, but it's his fault. Her blood is on his hands. And he can't wash it off.

When he finally meets Obito again, he can hardly recognize him anymore. He doesn't stop at rubbing salt in his wounds. Obito fucks with his mind. His body. His soul. Pushes all the right buttons. Obito's words cuts like sharp knives. He knows what he is doing, and he's doing it damn well. The fact that he knows Kakashi in and out isn't exactly in Kakashi's favor.

How do you save someone when he's got a gun pointed at your heart?

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 **To be honest, I got the idea to this fic one cursed (or should I say blessed?) night I just couldn't fall asleep. So, I decided that I'd create an ObiKaka scenario in my mind to pass the time. It turned out freaking awesome. It was almost self-running and surprised me several times and I laid daydreaming for hours. I cried in the end of my brain-story. I know, it's an unwritten rule that say you can't cry/laugh at your own stories, but I'm a retard. I won't be able to retell it exactly as it happened, because my memory just isn't that good. A lot had been added and a few things taken away from the original concept. But I hope to be able to create something worth reading out of it.**

 **Thank you for giving my story a try. I'm so worked up to start writing this!**

 **The story's main pairing is ObiKaka, though there will be some one-sided KakaRin and ObiRin and a whole lot of hinting at other pairings as well – SasuNaru, KakaAnko and ObiDei will be pretty obvious ones, but you could also see some fluffy GaiKaka moments if you read between the lines.**

 **I'll try to keep the characters in character, but there will be some OOCness. It's AU. Things are different and mostly less traumatic than shinobi life and therefore there will be some slight changes in personality. Kakashi hasn't been through war, hasn't grown up all alone and hasn't been a trained killer since childhood. Obito can't go and put the world under a giant genjutsu so he reacts differently to Rin's death than he does in canon. I love pre-slash, so it will be a lot of that. And some sort of plot, hopefully. XD**

 **When I first started writing this, I was going for a dark, serious story. However, it turned into a really weird mix of darker themes, smut, bad humor and a touch of silliness. You've been warned.**

 **Reviews are always very, very much appreciated. They motivate me, gives me new ideas and feedback helps me grow as a writer. Not to mention they're addictive. Do not hesitate to give harsh ones if needed be. Pruned trees grow sturdier and more beautiful than those that are never trimmed. (Wow, I just made that up, like, at the spot and now I feel like a poet) XD**

 **I can write the longest author notes ever, because I flatter myself by thinking that my readers want to interact with me as much as I want with them. I promise – this is the longest one. I'll control myself after this, but I gave myself free reins on the first author's note because I've been working on this project for such a long time and I am pumped to finally start publishing it.**

 **Please enjoy my story, and review until the letters on your typing board wears out! :)**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Unforgiven

**Thanks for all your encouraging feedback on the prologue, you guys!**

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 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 2 – The Unforgiven

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People say that time heals all wounds. Looking down at a very familiar grave, Kakashi could only think about how false that saying was.

The pain never disappeared. Sure; the sharp, cutting agony ebbed away and left an aching emptiness behind, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Kakashi knew.

He had never been through a war of any form, never starvation and he had only known peace all his life. Yet for someone only eighteen years old, he knew losses far too well. It wasn't comparable though, not comparable to any of the real problems in this world – Kakashi didn't like pitying himself and whenever the urge hit him he felt guilty. He had lost, sure, but death reached every soul sooner or later. It was inevitable, and he could only accept it and move on.

His grey eyes looked down at the flowers he held in his hand and accidentally swept over his watch, realizing that he had already been here for more than two hours. If he wanted to catch his bus he needed to get going.

"I'm leaving," he said as he put down the flowers. "I'm going to the same college my dad went to, so I'm moving back to the city. I promise I will visit every once a while, though. Maybe if I can patch things up with Obito we could visit together. I wish I had more time, but I have to go. Goodbye, Rin."

Kakashi turned around and followed the small path that led out from the countryside graveyard. After closing the rusty gate behind him, he walked back to his grandfather's house. Autumn was near. The leaves were still green, but the air was cooler and the sun not as warm anymore. It wouldn't take long for the landscape to turn in to a pallet of yellow, orange and red shades. Kakashi wished he could stay to see the change in season. The birches along the roadside were yellowing; fallen leaves already decorated the road and rustled under his feet.

He had always liked this time of the year. The air was fresh and clear and he didn't get his pale skin burned. Autumn seemed more solemn than summer. It didn't have the delicate prettiness of the winter or the lush, rich beauty of summer, but to Kakashi it had its own charm. To think about the grey, washed-out city felt at the moment rather depressing.

Many saw fall as the time of death and ironically that seemed to match up with Kakashi as well. After all, death followed him like a dark shadow wherever he went.

No. He shouldn't think like that. All teenagers, all adults went through highs and lows in their lives, and if Kakashi had gotten many valleys, it must only mean that things were soon to turn upwards.

He had a good life and a lot of things to be happy about.

Kakashi turned to the right of the brown dirt-road, stopping at his neighbor's place – Obito's old home – on his way back. Even since Obito left, Kakashi still visited his parents every now and then. He hoped maybe Obito would be back one day, or if nothing else that there would be news about how he was doing.

Unfortunately, Obito was never home and what little news there were not good ones.

Obito had started hanging out with 'bad kids' or so his parents told him. By the end of high school he had been arrested several times for illegal driving, drug dealing, violence, abuse and treats. Though Kakashi hardly believed half of what Obito was accused for, it was obvious he had gotten in bad company. He wanted to help him, but there was only so much he could do when Obito had cut off all contact with him and they lived miles away from each other. He hoped that now that he was going to Amegakure he could fix what had been broken and help Obito to find the right path in life again. He didn't think Obito wanted to see him but he couldn't help but to try. It was clear that Obito could use some help. Perhaps after all these years, Obito would find it in him to forgive his childhood friend.

Maybe this would be the turning point for both of them.

Kakashi knocked on the wooden door and shortly after it opened, revealing a dark-haired woman in her late thirties. She lit up in a way that strongly resembled the bright smiles Obito used to have when she recognized Kakashi.

"Hello again, Kakashi."

"Mrs. Uchiha?"

The woman shook her head gently. "I really wish you'd stop calling me that," she said as she walked into the house again, leaving the door open. "I've got it, Kakashi. Just wait a minute." The warm air from inside the house hit him, a smell both familiar and foreign. He heard sounds of walking on creaky planks, a drawer being pulled open. She returned.

"Here you go." Obito's mother gave him a note. "Sorry for the time it took to get his address. As his mother I feel like I should know where he lives but… You know how it's been. He hasn't wanted to keep in touch and his great granduncle isn't exactly the easiest person to contact either."

"No, thank you. I understand. I didn't mean to be a bother. How is Madara doing?"

"Oh, no such thing. You're never a bother, child. Old Madara is doing well for his age. He just likes to keep to his own. I think both could have done each other some good if they only had given each other a chance, but Madara is a stubborn old geezer and Obito moved to his own apartment as soon as he had an opportunity to do so."

"Still no success in contacting him? Is he going to college?"

"No. You know how it is. Almost the only time we get in touch is when the police contact us. We sent him money to go, but seeing how he barely made it through high school, honestly, I…"

"…don't know anything," Kakashi finished for her. "It's okay. Thank you for helping me."

"No problem, Kakashi. Perhaps he will take to you better than to me and my husband." She glanced away, a hint of guilt in her dark eyes. "I wish we were there for him more when he was younger. Maybe then it would never have gotten this bad. Now it seems to be too late to change anything." Mrs. Uchiha shook her head gently as if to clear her thoughts and then smiled at Kakashi again. "Please give my love to him if you meet him, will you?"

"Of course. Goodbye."

"Have a safe journey and be sure to come back and see us when you visit Jiraiya!" she called after him.

"I will!"

What Mrs. Uchiha said was sadly true. Obito's parents _had_ neglected him for the family business, and Obito had been forced to spend much of his childhood alone – often walking up to an empty house and coming home to one as well, even at a very young age. Still, Kakashi knew that their hearts were in the right place. They loved Obito more than anything else. They had believed they were doing what was best for him by giving priority to their jobs in hope to be able to afford the best education and the finest toys for him, not understanding that what he really needed was their time.

Kakashi hurried to his house, cursing himself for taking far too long at Rin's grave. He always ended up forgetting time completely when he was there, letting his thoughts wander without any awareness of time. He should have expected it by now, but it almost always caught him off guard how the clock could run when he wasn't really doing anything.

His grandfather was already waiting for him at the door and quickly handed him his baggage and backpack. Kakashi hugged him goodbye, burying his face in the white-haired man's board shoulder. When he came here, he remembered, he could barely reach his chest. He had been so small, and yet it didn't really feel as if he had gotten that much older. Everything else had just… well, shrunk. He was taller than Jiraiya now. If felt weird leaving him. Konoha was his childhood home, where he had grown up. When he came here it had taken months before he had opened up to the old man and years before could hug him like this.

However, he didn't have much time for farewells and there was not much to say anyway. After promising to give a call when he had settled in his new apartment, Jiraiya ruffled his hair with a laugh and wished him a good journey. He reminded him to visit as often as he could and said that he would always have a home and his old room waiting for him.

Kakashi raised his hand in goodbye as he left and took his bag and hurried to the bus-stop a mile down the road. He had almost reached it when he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi's eyebrows rose in surprise as he looked up – the color green was reflected back at him.

"Hey Gai! What are you doing here? Weren't we supposed to meet in central?"

Gai laughed and run to meet him. Despite the fact that he already had luggage of his own, Gai automatically reached and took Kakashi's. Kakashi let him. Who was he to resist dragging around extra weight? Gai probably saw it as a training exercise, all the same.

"It is utmost unyouthful to travel alone, so I will accompany you, my rival!"

"Then how did you get here?"

"After helping me settle in my dad and I ran from Amegakure to Konoha the day before yesterday. We wanted to push in one more last long run before the school year started."

"Isn't that over 60 miles?" Kakashi said as the bus pulled to a stop and Gai helped him carry in one of his bags.

"62 miles."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly in surprise though one would think he'd be used to Gai breaking his old records all the time by now. His friend was simply inhuman in his training methods. "Impressive."

Gai's face lit up. "Hey, what do you say we-"

"No thanks. I think that distance is a bit long for me."

Gai smiled, giving him a 'nice-guy' pose before sitting down by the window as Kakashi moved in to sit beside him. Except for them, the driver and an old lady, the bus was empty. "Then promise me you'll join my pre-school run!"

"Uh… I…" Kakashi sighed. "I'll think about it."

 **o o o**

After a ten minute bus ride, they reached the small train-station in Konoha. They got off their bus and the train that would take them straight to Amegakure arrived twenty minutes later. The locomotive pulled to a stop, sighing wearily as it opened its doors. Kakashi and Gai got on. After walking a few yards, they found some empty places by a table and sat down next to each other.

The train started moving and Kakashi settled into a comfortable silence as Gai talked about the wonders of youth and training. Kakashi, having already heard it all many times more than he would have liked to, found it pretty easy to filter him out.

He picked up an orange book most people wouldn't be seen in public with.

Kakashi wasn't most people.

Actually, Kakashi was rather proud to casually mention that it was his grandfather that had written the Icha Icha series whenever the topic was brought up. But today he couldn't concentrate on reading and stared blankly at the page. His mind was pulled to one person.

Obito.

He might finally get to see Obito again. It had been four years. Four years and almost two months since the day that changed everything. It had been the beginning of summer, and they had just ended their last year in middle-school. Their summer vacation had only just started and they had so many plans on what they were going to do. It was like any other summer – until one day everything changed.

He had been sleeping.

Something had tickled his nose, and he sneezed. He remembered the thick smell of smoke, but how his sleepy mind failed to register it. He heard his dog barking outside. He had turned around in his bed, falling back to sleep when he suddenly sat up in a jerk – maybe because of a nightmare. But once he opened his eyes he had forgotten all about his dream.

He coughed. Smoke burned his lungs. Disorientated for a minute he rubbed his eyes before he suddenly flew up from the bed. Low blood pressure made him stumble and fall. Kakashi managed to catch himself on his desk.

Smoke. Heat. The house… it was on fire.

Suddenly it felt so real. Kakashi wasn't sitting in the train anymore. He wasn't on his way to Amegakure. He was in his old house. In his old bedroom. He was in that fire.

Why hadn't he noticed earlier? He needed to get out fast. But he felt so lightheaded, dizzy. He remembered something about smoke and fires he had learned in school but he couldn't think. The air… it was supposed to be better further down, by the floor. Or was it higher up? How much smoke had he inhaled? If he hadn't woken up… Kakashi shook his head, he didn't have time to think about that now. He decided to just hurry. He needed to get out.

Now.

A bit unsteady, he tried to walk out of his room, but when he opened the door; the corridor was aflame. A new cloud of dark smoke flowed over him, now unhindered by the open door. Kakashi tried to hold his breath but he accidentally stumbled on something and gasped, inhaling the thick, black-colored air. His headache ten-folded and he fell to the floor with a groan.

He had to get out. Fast. There was no way he'd be able to get through the corridors unless he could run. He thought he heard voices outside, but he wasn't sure. His head spun. Why couldn't he move? The door no longer held the fire back and bright, orange flames crept into his room, spreading quickly. The heat on his face was unbearable. The air was hot and it burned his lungs to inhale it. Kakashi coughed again and tried to use his shirt to breathe through, but it didn't help much. A loud creak made him glanced up. The roof… it was going to collapse soon.

Everything was hot. His head was still spinning. Kakashi realized that unless he got out fast, he would either be burned alive or get crushed when the house gave in. He tried to crawl, but his hands and knees shook and wouldn't hold to do even that much. The window. It was closer. He should try to jump out of it. It wasn't that far away. He managed to force himself a few feet, but his muscles refused to work and he was almost paralyzed. He couldn't think. His thoughts were all slurry and jammed and he couldn't make sense of them anymore. The room seemed to be darkening. No – he was slowly falling unconscious.

He heard screaming outside now. Somebody called his name. He tried to speak, shout back that he was here, that he was alive, that he needed help. But no word managed to get out. His eyelids fell shut. The bright flames hurt his eyes too much for him to keep them open. The air hurt to inhale… it was so hot. Perhaps it was better if no one did come after him. Any person coming in would only end up getting caught, too.

Somebody called his name, now closer. It was familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint the voice. Kakashi couldn't make himself move. He wanted to tell the person to stay away. Nobody should come after him, he couldn't risk the life of someone else.

"Kakashi!"

This time the voice was just next to him. Kakashi managed to open his eyes. Dark, worried eyes and black hair shielded him from the worst of the flames that had started to catch up to him.

"Obito… get out of here," he choked out, voice barely a hoarse whisper. "Hurry."

"Idiot. I won't leave you." Obito pulled him up and started half carrying, half dragging him towards the window. When they got there and opened it, cool air rushed in, but the second after the fire roared even harder, strengthened by the new oxygen. Obito put himself between the fire and Kakashi, winced when the flames licked him.

"Here! Somebody help!" Obito shouted, but his voice was almost completely drowned by the fire's roars. Gritting his teeth together hard, his eyebrows furrowed in determination, Obito helped Kakashi up on the windowsill. He started coughing, but didn't stop.

Outside, a moving silhouette caught his eyes. She stopped when she saw them.

"Oh God," she breathed, face full of worry as she ran towards them.

It took a minute before Kakashi realized that it was Rin.

"Take him," Obito said as he pushed Kakashi out before he managed to climb out himself. Rin caught him as he fell to the ground, his weight knocking her over. Obito fell down beside him, panting hard. He tried to get up but his arms and legs couldn't carry him. Seeing Obito's struggle, Rin tried to drag both boys away from the burning house, but they were too heavy for her to manage on her own.

"They're here! Help!" she shouted desperately as she pulled them, inch by inch further away from the hot flames. The roof suddenly cracked loudly, the house started to give in. Rin pulled harder. A drop of sweat ran down her forehead, a few strands of hair were sticking to her skin. The fire roared.

"HELP!"

People rushed forward now. Kakashi's vision was clouded with dark spots and he couldn't think clearly, but he thought he recognized Obito's parents as they dragged Obito and him away from the burning building.

Kakashi felt lightheaded. Sounds of an ambulance from a distance slowly grew louder. Somebody touched his cheek. Tiredly, Kakashi turned his face towards the person.

"Kakashi?" Obito's hand stroked some silver hair away from his face. "Are you alright?"

"Obito, you're hurt." Obito's clothes were badly burned and had on some places been completely burned off. Sweat ran down his face, and he was covered in black ash. He smelled of burnt flesh.

Obito smiled, tired, but genuine. "I'm happy you are alright…" Obito's voice drifted off as he fainted.

"Obito!" Kakashi tried to sit up, but Rin pushed him down again.

"Take it easy." Her voice was calm and soothing, but her eyes were filled with worry. "Help is on its way."

It seemed forever before the ambulance came, even though it only was a matter of minutes. Kakashi could only make out a few things among the many murmurs, shouts and voices speaking.

"Help him, please! Somebody help my son!"

"He has third level burning injuries."

"Inhaled a lot of smoke."

"…could be life-threatening."

Kakashi already felt a little bit better after resting in the clean air, but when he tried to get up he was forced back down. Two doctors put him on a stretcher and carried him into the truck. People were suddenly everywhere and he lost sight of Obito.

"Obito!" Kakashi called out, "How's Obito!? Where is he!?"

"Shh. We will take care of your friend. For now, rest."

But Kakashi couldn't calm down. Why did they bother with him? Couldn't they see Obito needed their help more? "Will he be alright?" he asked, frantically.

The doctor hesitated a moment before she nodded. "Yes. He will be fine. Go to sleep."

Kakashi knew she was probably lying to calm him down, but he told himself that she did speak the truth. She had to.

Somebody grasped his hand – Rin.

"You've got to calm down, Kakashi," she said. "They're doing everything they can for him." Seeing how upset Rin was, Kakashi forced himself to recompose himself. Her steady gaze eased him, if only a little bit. He was–

A hand touched his shoulder, and Kakashi flinched. For a moment, he felt confused to where he was.

"Earth to Kakashi?"

Kakashi followed the arm to Gai's eyes.

"Hey. You dropped your book."

"…what?"

"Icha Icha."

"Thanks," he said, accepting the book, still slightly dazzled. The memory had felt so real for a moment that he'd really lost sense of present reality.

"You mentioned that Obito lived in Amegakure," Gai said, probably suspecting what – or rather whom – that occupied his mind. "Are you planning on searching him out?"

"Yes. I need to." Kakashi's hand clenched the small note in his pocket. "Not just because I miss the guy… but if I can't fix thing between us it feels as if I can never move on."

"I'm sure he has forgiven you. It's been years. Don't forget he was just fourteen. He was hurt and took his anger out on you, but it doesn't mean he still blames you."

"I know."

Kakashi had befriended Gai in Konoha High after Obito had left. More correctly, Gai was the one who befriended him. They both went to the same dojo and were acquainted even before they met in high school – actually, they were already friends by then. But they grew closer during high school. Even though Gai had a horrible fashion-sense (or lack thereof) and a really unflattering haircut (let's not even get started on those eyebrows!) the unlikely pair got along better than Kakashi would have thought when he first laid eyes on the hyper-athletic kid. Gai became his new training partner, and when times were tough Gai's constant challenges seemed to be the only thing that could keep him going.

Gai had really been a great friend to him. It had taken a while, but eventually he had made his way into Kakashi's life until Kakashi couldn't dismiss him anymore. Now afterwards, Kakashi admitted he would have very likely fallen into depression the first year in high school without him.

As much as Gai irritated him at times, he wasn't half as bothered by his presence as he made out to be or as most people would assume he was.

"Now…" said Gai. Kakashi didn't like the glint he got in his eyes when he fished up a card game and slammed the pile down on the table in front of them. "I challenge you!"

Kakashi looked tiredly at Gai before letting his head drop down and hit the surface of the table with a groan. " _Fine._ "

To be honest, he didn't really have anything better to do anyway, and it was still a long way to Amegakure.

Gai gave him a blinding smile as he mixed the cards and started to divide them between them, Kakashi stuffed the book he had dropped earlier back into his backpack for another time.

"If I win more rounds than you do, you've got to pay your own lunch-bill," said Gai.

A smile tugged at his lips. "You're on."

 **o o o**

Kakashi and Gai reached their destination an hour later and since Kakashi had won two more times than his friend, he didn't have to sneak out on the bill this time. They ate lunch at a restaurant in the area before they took a bus to Kakashi's new apartment.

Kakashi hadn't been in Amegakure since he last lived here. In fact, he hadn't even seen where he was going to live. Gai had offered to help him find a place since he already moved there earlier this summer and had contacts. Kakashi had taken him up on his offer, trusting Gai to pick out a place for him. His only requirements had been a low rent and central enough to easily get to school in the mornings. So when Gai had found a little place rented with furniture close to training grounds, gym, a judo club and of course not too long away from where Gai himself lived, he wasn't too surprised. This was just so Gai-like. Kakashi had no idea how he found these kinds of places for such a low price, but it was better than anything Kakashi could have found on his own.

He wasn't youthful enough to do as much digging and barging at Gai did. Kakashi had a sneaking suspicion that Gai's smile might be a reason why he did so well in his search for apartments as well. After a blinding smile and a most youthful speech, most people were pretty much ready to agree with him if only to get him out of their hair. Kakashi felt slightly guilty for having been one of those people himself. Gai really was too good for him.

The apartment _was_ very small, but he liked it and it wasn't like he needed any bigger place. It consisted of a narrow hall, a tight but cozy kitchen, a small bathroom with a shower and a medium-sized bedroom that served as living room as well. Gai offered to help Kakashi unpack, but he declined. He had other plans.

"I'm going to see Obito now."

To be honest, he couldn't really wait any longer. He almost felt impatient, and that was a very alien feeling for him. He hadn't seen Obito for years and wanted to find out if the address Obito's mother had gotten for him would do him any good as soon as possible.

"Okay. I'll be back tomorrow and show you where the dojo is and when practices are, then?"

"Sounds good. Thanks for helping me getting settled in."

"No problem!" Gai shouted as he left the room. "Oh, and I'm dropping by at six am to show you the jogging round!"

"Wait! That really isn't– "

Kakashi was interrupted by the door slamming shut. He had better get to bed early, then. And tomorrow he would make sure to speak to Gai of the importance of _rest_ and a proper amount of _sleep_ to a training person.

But that was for another time. Now he needed to see Obito. Kakashi put on his jacket as he read the directions of the note for the second time.

His heart beat a little harder as he left his new apartment and locked the door. It almost felt surreal. He was finally going to see him. He got off at the bus stop closest to his address and walked the last bit by foot until he reached the place he had been looking for.

Kakashi hesitated to walk inside the building. He didn't know why he was so nervous, but that was how he felt as he stood a few yards away from the door that lead to Obito's apartment. After a minute, he finally walked inside and found the right flat two levels up.

There was no name, so he couldn't be sure, but the number was the same as the one written on his note. There was only one way to find out. Hands sweaty, Kakashi knocked. Shortly after, he saw the door had a bell and used that one instead. But nobody answered and he felt his hope drop. He was disappointed, but honestly, not surprised. They hadn't parted on good terms. With a sigh, he took the stairs down. He would try another time.

As he left the building someone speeded in on a motorcycle at the parking lot.

Kakashi froze when a dark-haired young man got off from it. Even though he wasn't wearing a helmet, it took a few seconds before he was sure it was Obito. Immediately Kakashi felt stupid for not considering the possibility that Obito wouldn't be home. Of course he had another life besides watching the doorbell.

Kakashi noted Obito had grown taller and his shoulders broader. There was not a trace of the once trademark color orange on him. His jacket had been left open and was made of black leather, and he wore black jeans. As a matter of fact; he was all dressed in black.

Obito walked closer and Kakashi felt his heart pick up speed. It had been easy telling himself that he had to go here, but now that they finally met, what was he going to say? Kakashi noted that his jaw was a lot more masculine-looking and he had lost all boyish features. The scars left behind by a particular caressing flame had faded, but there were still obvious markings on the right side of his face and neck. They gave him a rough look, but not an unbecoming one. His hair was short and unkempt, and Obito absentmindedly pulled a tanned hand through wild spikes – it too, marked by scars where fire had melted skin.

Kakashi took half a step back.

There was something else different too, though it took a few seconds before Kakashi realized it on a higher level than subconsciousness.

Obito's demeanor had changed.

It was… darker.

Obito passed him without as much as a glance, their shoulders almost brushing as he waked by.

With Kakashi's silver-hair it wasn't likely that he had missed him or didn't recognize him. He was ignoring him deliberately. Kakashi walked after him and grabbed his arm.

"Obito."

Obito didn't spare him a look. He pulled out of his grip like he wasn't there. It felt like a stab to his heart. Kakashi took a few more steps after him. "Obito, please."

The door shut in his face.

Ouch.

Now that really hurt.

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 **Next update probably won't be until after New Year. Thank you for reading and please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3 - Slipping Away

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 3 – Slipping Away

* * *

It came with the dark. It approached him when he had fallen asleep. Like a shadow repressed during the daytime it sneaked upon him; long, icy fingers clutching his heart. It was the same – it was always the same. The dream he couldn't escape. The dream he could never brush off as 'just a dream'.

The nightmare put on endless replay.

The first thing he dreamt after Rin's death still haunted him.

 _"You promised that you would protect her," Obito says. He stands in front of him, one finger is pointing accusingly straight at Kakashi._

 _"I did my best!"_

 _"You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."_

 _"I tried!"_

 _"I saved you and this is how you repay me? By letting her die!?"_

 _"No!"_

 _"Look at your hands, you killer!"_

 _Kakashi looks down._

 _They are covered in her blood._

A knock on the door woke him. Kakashi blinked, and rolled around on his stomach, pulling a pillow over his head to keep the sound out. This – when he was having a nightmare – was the only circumstance it was acceptable for anyone to wake him up at six o'clock in the morning… but that still didn't mean he wanted to get up yet.

The knock was heard again. It was Gai, of course. He didn't even need to recall that he had promised to come yesterday; no sane person would try to wake him this early. The only person who had the guts – or the stupidity – to do so was Gai.

Well, Gai and Jiraiya.

Gai loved mornings. Kakashi hated them.

Gai wouldn't stop knocking on the door until Kakashi finally got up and opened it for him. He figured that he should probably just give Gai a key already, seeing as he knew there was no use in trying to keep him out. It would save Kakashi the bother of getting out from his warm, cozy bed just to unlock a door.

Then again, Gai would most likely use it against him to sneak up on him and – oh, the horror – leap on his stomach in his sleep if he decided Kakashi wasn't getting up soon enough for his tastes. Kakashi would have to reconsider. Right now, he was too tired to think that much. It was too early – who in their right mind would be able to think clearly at this time of the day?

Drowsy with sleep, Kakashi walked back to his bed. Gai followed him, talking and talking and _talking –_ most likely youth and training if the few words he snapped up was anything to go by (and if he knew they guy at all). Kakashi had every intention of going straight back to bed and let Gai talk to his sleeping form, but before he really was aware of it himself, Gai had somehow managed to get him into his training clothes and they were outside running next to each other as the sun rose.

"You know," Kakashi started when he had finally begun to wake up, his sentence cut in the middle by a tired yawn. "We need to make some sort of compromise." The glowering ball of orange and yellow rose over dark shaded trees and shone straight at them. Kakashi squinted his eyes. How annoying. The track turned, setting them in a more favorable position to the sun.

"Of what sort, my rival?"

"Well, I'm obviously not your dad so I can't – and won't – take his place in your training scheme. Morning runs, especially pre-school, really isn't my thing. I figured that maybe we could reach an understanding in which I didn't have to get up at six am every day."

Gai narrowed his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Early morning training is an excellent way of getting your blood in circulation and the best start one can get on a day!"

"Yeah, but still-"

"So, only five days a week?"

Kakashi winced. "I was thinking more like one day…

"…or two," he added, seeing Gai's disappointed look. "Three days," he finally decided. "No more than three days." "Don't forget I'll train judo with you in the evenings. We can go to the gym a few times a week too, just _not_ in the morning."

"That sounds perfect, Kakashi! Perhaps in time you will want to join me on my runs more often, but I am happy to see that spirit of youth awaken in you! Let's do one hundred push-ups!"

Kakashi was already regretting his decision.

 **o o o**

"Mah, when does school start again?" Kakashi asked, nose buried in his book as they ate breakfast together back at his flat. "College. University. Whatever."

"Tomorrow."

"Damn. I was hoping it was next week." Kakashi pouted before he sipped on his tea.

"Kakashi?"

"Hm?"

"How did it go yesterday?"

Kakashi scratched his neck, eyes ceasing in an awkward smile as he looked up from his reading material. He had hoped Gai would have forgotten that. "Well, not too well."

"How so?"

"He didn't want to speak to me at all." Kakashi turned his attention back to where he left off in the story. "I guess I'll give him some time and then try again…"

Gai didn't ask anything more, knowing when to drop the subject. Kakashi allowed himself to get lost in his book of questionable content, to let it take his mind off more tiring, disappointing and appropriate things.

After finishing their tea Gai helped Kakashi with the dishes. Kakashi would do them eventually, but he wouldn't hurry and Gai wanted to show him around in the city. Kakashi wasn't going anywhere until his place was tidy again, and the only way to get the shores done fast was if Gai did them. Besides, Gai already knew him well enough to know that he'd rather hide indoors all day if given the choice – even if he usually enjoyed himself once he got his butt out of the door.

Or, well, sometimes, anyhow.

With Gai doing the dishes Kakashi not only lost his reason for staying indoors, but would also feel guilty if he didn't agree to go with him since Gai had helped him out.

And so it was only a matter of minutes before Gai dragged Kakashi with him to show him his apartment. It was a four minute bus ride away from Kakashi's place, or – as Gai informed him of – twenty minutes by foot (if one ran). He generously offered one of his keys to him. Kakashi tried to refuse, but eventually he ended up accepting it anyway and gave Gai his spare key too. It would be less bothersome if Gai let himself in rather than knocked on the door until Kakashi's neighbors got irritated at him, _even_ if he would do a dramatic entry when Kakashi slept and was sure to give him a heart attack one day or another.

Then Gai pulled him around in the city to show him various parks, gyms and other important, 'youthful' places he should know about. This continued until Star Master's Judo Club opened at five pm and Gai made him sign up so they could continue training together.

A familiar smell entered his nose when he stepped inside the dojo. All dojos were different; but still somehow they all felt like home to Kakashi. Judo had always been a part of his life.

He didn't have many memories of his father, but Kakashi knew he had been a state champion in judo. He had spent a lot of his early childhood in locals like this, and most of the few memories he had of Sakumo where in some way or another connected to judo. When he was little, he came to watch his father train, and as soon as he was allowed to he started training himself with the youngest students – most of them at least a few years older than himself. When Sakumo realized that Kakashi was genuinely interested and not just wanted to do judo because he admired his father, he was a patient teacher. He never put his own training above spending time with his son, and when they trained together Sakumo had a knack of making it more of a game than anything else – at the tender age of five he didn't think judo was anything Kakashi should take too seriously. Maybe _playing_ together was the right wording for it, because it wasn't until a few years after his father's death that Kakashi was old enough to really start learning any techniques.

Being here, despite never having setting foot in this particular local before, felt a bit like coming home. When he moved to Konoha, the dojo there had been very important to him. He had quickly shown a lot of promise, and even fought professionally for a few years. Eventually he decided wasn't interested in fame. He preferred to train with his friends, occasionally fighting in smaller competitions to boost his club and get some adrenaline pumping in his body. He wasn't interested in being high profile or to put all into his training and if given any choice, he stayed far away from any tournaments that were too big in the media.

It was nice to be back.

The smell, the sound, the air. Kakashi loved it as much as Gai did though he never showed it as openly.

Another teenager walked up to them. "Kakashi-sempai," he said, bowing respectfully. Kakashi tilted his head in confusion, looking at Gai for explanation. He was pretty sure he had never seen this guy before, but then again, he couldn't be completely sure.

"This is Tenzo," Gai introduced them. "He has got a relative in Konoha and saw you fight in the Martial Arts Competitions last spring. He has admired your youthful talent ever since!"

"Nice to meet you, kid."

"Actually, he's not as young as he looks. He's starting the same college we are this year – although he's moved up a class."

"Really?" Kakashi's left eyebrow rose slightly, an expression that was barely noticeable unless one paid close attention. "That's cool."

Tenzo smiled, looking down. "It's nothing special. My parents put me in school one year earlier, that's all."

"Modest genius," Kakashi teased, pleased to be able to put an embarrassed blush and a bothered look on the younger boy's face with minimal effort. He would like him. Kakashi always liked people he could harass. Get them to pay his bills, feel awkward, mess with their heads and just basically fuck with for kicks. Tenzo seemed to be that kind of guy he could take advantage of.

And Kakashi?

Well, he was an evil, evil person.

"Kakashi…" started Gai. Kakashi _knew_ that tone in that voice far too well and cut his friend off before he had time to say anything more.

"Not this time, Gai," Kakashi said, watching Gai's face drop. It was still hilarious, even at this age, because Kakashi had always been a bastard and probably always would be one to some degree. But he couldn't be evil for too long. Not to Gai, anyway.

Kakashi smirked. "Today _I_ will challenge you."

Gai lit up again and Kakashi blinked in calm indifference. But as he turned his back to Gai and made his way to one of the empty mats, Kakashi's own lips twisted upwards. Tenzo followed them.

The smile didn't leave his face as he stepped out on the soft tatami mat and turned to Gai.

Because, formal competitions in all honor, Gai himself wasn't exactly the easiest guy to beat in a fair fight either. Kakashi might not like big tournaments, but he did like strong opponents. Like Kakashi, Gai had the potential to go really far (more because of ambitions and hard work rather than Kakashi's natural born genius) and was known and feared in and beyond the region of Konoha as the 'Green Beast' for his strength and speed. It was a self-proclaimed title – in formal judo tournaments the only colors allowed to wear being either white or blue – but Gai announced it so loudly and left such an impression on those he fought that he would, mostly likely, taint the view they had on the color green for life. Kakashi had jokingly been nicknamed 'The Copycat' by his fellow judokas in Konoha, because he picked up new moves disturbingly easy. He was infamous for quick reflexes, his perfected, razor-sharp techniques and the ability to predict and read his opponent's next movements. In fights, Kakashi and Gai were pretty equally matched. Gai was stronger, had greater endurance and could move faster; Kakashi could anticipate his moves and had more refined techniques at his disposal.

The entire summer had passed, and it had been too long. Kakashi _lived_ for this. A few others training stopped to look at the upcoming randori of their newest recruits. A few walked closer, one took a break and leaned against the wall, a water bottle to his lips and mild curiosity in his eyes.

"Hajime!" Tenzo called out.

In a swish of clothes and carefully controlled limbs, they moved. It was fast, quick, but not all out – not quite yet. They didn't want this to end too quickly and they needed to warm up.

Hand – block. Push, pull – a tug of clothes, a change of stance. Stumble, fall. Balance. Attack – twist, turn, throw. Two heavy breaths. A low whistle, a cheer. Kakashi got Gai in a rear throw, allowed him to get up again. Gai managed to get him in a choke hold, but let him go.

They were training, not competing. The competition was there, but silent, only present to the two fighters.

A mistake, a look. _I saw that._ A glitter of dark eyes. Gai was smiling, but for once, he looked serious, collected. Calm.

Kakashi missed a move and Gai managed to grab him, throw him over his shoulder. He fell hard, flat on his back.

 _Ouch._

Ippon – the highest score possible.

In a real competition, Gai would have won with that one, but here Kakashi only got up, new determination and competitiveness returning to him.

Partly because he needed to practice it anyway, and party to show off, Kakashi grabbed both Gai's judogi with both hands and pulled back, using a more advanced sacrifice throw. He leaned back, threw Gai over himself and heard his body hit hard against the mat.

"You okay?"

"Yes!"

He never used all his techniques in training, if he could help it. He needed people to practice them on, but Gai was skilled and Kakashi might very well face him of at a real torment one day so he couldn't have Gai knowing all his moves.

They had their wins and losses, some noticed and others unnoticed by their audience, and in the end, no one appeared to win. In formal competitions, the time limit was five minutes, but in free sparring like this, they could keep going much longer. When they parted it was without any apparent winner or loser, being training partners for so long they didn't need to utter words. Kakashi still needed to get stronger, faster. Gai needed to work on his predicament, his techniques.

One smirking, one grinning and both dripping with sweat, they bowed respectfully to one another – out of tradition more than anything else – before they walked off the mat. They got a few claps on their back as they walked down, encouraging words by the new club's fellow judokas.

"Great footwork, there," their new sensei told Gai and then turned towards Kakashi, smiling. "Beautiful throw. You made it look effortless. We're happy to have you both!"

"Yosh!"

"Thank you, sensei."

Kakashi, not being too fond of social interactions, slipped away to the showers. It was high time to go home now anyhow; he needed to get to bed early. The first real judo training would be first next Wednesday and it was school tomorrow. Gai and Tenzo followed him.

"That was amazing!" Tenzo told them when they sat sweating and panting in the changing room, sipping on water. "I've got to train now, but hey – spar with me sometime, Gai? Kakashi-sempai?" He smiled and left the room, leaving Kakashi and Gai chuckling quietly.

 **o o o**

Kakashi was glad to wake by the alarm clock at seven. It meant that Gai had been kind enough not to choose Monday mornings to force Kakashi to train with him, something that Kakashi was tremendously thankful for. He showered and got dressed, ate his breakfast and took the bus to the university. After a few stops Gai got on, and he jumped into the window seat to make room for him.

Gai shared most of his lectures. To his surprise, so did the kid they had met at the Judo club yesterday, Tenzo. Kakashi found it difficult to remember that he was actually really close to their age because he seemed younger and Kakashi got that weird urge to ruffle his hair and call him kid. He managed to hold those actions to himself – but he did like that Tenzo called him sempai.

Really, the kid was cute.

Right. That was what he was trying not to think.

Besides Tenzo and Gai, Kakashi recognized Asuma from his old class back in elementary school. He too, had gone to Konoha High. They had one or two classes together daily. Everyone else was new, but Kurenai and Genma – both also from his year-group in Konoha High – went to this school too though in different programs. He and Genma had one class together in literature every week, but that was it.

"Kurenai is in the art program," Asuma informed them.

All in all, Kakashi liked his new schoolmates. With a university as big as this one, it hadn't been likely that he would have ended up in the same lectures as one of his old classmates, much less three of them.

Rainbrook University had a pleasant feel to it. It was old, but newly renovated and fresh. It was open and airy, and the large widows, high roof and the white-painted walls gave a feeling of space. It had a library of modest size and a cafeteria where students could buy lunches or snacks. Unlike many colleges, it didn't have dooms for the students and they had to find other means of living – most rented cheap apartments close by, others lived with their families or friends. Though there were little over one thousand students the classes were relatively small and the school rarely felt crowded. The teachers were overall good, living up to the school's prized name.

Though not nearly as distinctive as it had been in high school, most students could still be parted into two groups; the ambitions ones and the ones having fun. Genma was one of the few in the middle and he managed to mingle with different people. He was intelligent, so slacking off didn't affect his grades too badly. He wasn't a party animal, but he was the most social one in Kakashi's circle of friends. Gai liked people, but most fled him – and Tenzo was a bit on the shy side, which surprised him since he'd been the one to approach him yesterday. Asuma was not as social as Genma, but more so than the introverts Kakashi and Tenzo made. Asuma met some new people he got along with, but he mostly stuck around his old friends from Konoha High and talked with Kureani between the lectures.

During the week Kakashi also recognized Izumo and Kotetsu – they too from Konoha High. They didn't really know each other that well, but talked and hung out occasionally between classes. Anko, and all his other school peers from Konoha High had applied to other (if any) universities – mostly in Suna, which was the city closest to Konoha, but he'd heard a few of them studied further away as well.

Because some lived further away than others; all students got lockers to put their schoolbooks in between lectures so they didn't need to carry all books with them. In average, most spent around four hours active studying at the university divided into two or three lectures; but since the lectures came one after another only occasionally, students often stayed in the library or cafeteria between them – in fact, some even stayed after they had had all their lectures just to study in the library or do research there. Depending on his schedule; Kakashi would get home any time from 11:00 am to 16:10 pm.

 **o o o**

It took a while before he heard about _them_.

The Akatsuki.

Akatsuki was a feared gang, and apparently this year, its presence was stronger than ever before in this school. He had been briefly aware of them before, of course. It was almost impossible to pass through Amegakure and not know of them, and news of the Akatsuki reached far and wide and put fear into hearts all over the continent. Supposed to be the most ruthless street-gang in the area, he had heard quite about them already and hadn't been able to overlooks its existence. The gang colors were black and red, and symbols like red clouds with a white lining, the letter 'A', red moons and sun ups where all associated with them and often seen scribbled on many different places. They didn't carry any special gang-tattoos which made them a little more subtle than other gangs – if they wanted to be, that was – and it was said that they even had the police under their thumbs.

But what he hadn't known earlier was that Akatsuki had anything to do with Rainbrook University.

Still, Kakashi couldn't say he was worried. Gangs mostly fought gangs, and if Kakashi stayed out of it he wasn't likely to get into any trouble – though, of course, it couldn't hurt to be a bit wary.

It took a full week before he noticed something else. Or rather, someone among a thousand students.

Obito.

The first time, he had broken out in a surprised, but genuine smile – hardly believing the luck that they would go to the same university. Once again he tried to talk to him, only to get snubbed off without as much as a glance. Some of Obito's friends, however, threw him irritated looks and shoved him into the wall as they passed. He tried to talk to him several times that second week of school, but Obito always made a good point in ignoring him, and as for his friends…

Honesty, they were threatening. Even boarding on violent.

Also… there was something else that made approaching him harder too.

Rumors.

They were everywhere. Now, Kakashi knew better than to believe everything he heard. But the fact still remained that usually there was an inch of truth hidden behind most tales. And the stories told about Obito were not good ones.

It was said he was the Akatsuki leader.

That had almost knocked Kakashi off his feet the second he realized that no, it was not a joke. Then he'd almost started laughing. He knew Obito had gotten into trouble these last years, but he just couldn't see him as part of a gang, much less the gang leader of the most feared gang in Amegakure.

How could someone even think that? It was impossible. Obito wouldn't have anything to do with an organization like that and to even think he'd be a part of the Akatsuki was absurd.

That wasn't the end of the rumors, though.

Obito had, according to word, killed more people than you could count on person's fingers and toes, but somehow always gotten away with it, and he was one hell of a skilled fighter and manipulator. Stories of Obito were all over the university and they were endless. Some of them had creepily many witnesses of students whom would usually be considered trustworthy; others were just insane tales that seemed to make him into something as alien as 'Big Foot' and as inhumane as a machine.

Kakashi didn't believe them at all first, but it didn't take that long to make him doubt his own belief in Obito.

It was mostly the simple things.

Like how he walked perfectly straight through crowded corridors, and all others moved to the side when Obito or any of his friends passed.

It was how the teachers never told Obito or his friends off when they misbehaved – except for that new one who did, and never came back.

It was how the guy that had been seen talking back to Obito returned the following day with a broken arm and a blue-bruised face.

It was how his so-called friends obeyed his every wink without question – and how horrified everyone from Amegakure seemed when he tried to approach Obito and strongly suggested to leave him be and not to meddle with him or any of his business. And it wasn't just classmates and acquaintances, but even strangers.

A hand on his shoulder.

 _"Hey. Don't get too close to them."_

The whispers.

 _"Be aware. He's a killer."_

The air around him felt tense and dangerous, and whenever he walked by; all students seemed to hold their breath.

Put shortly, Obito and his gang ruled the school.

It didn't take that long for Kakashi to get the hint. Obito meant trouble. And he didn't want to have anything to do with him. It hurt, but Kakashi didn't know what to do to change anything. It felt surreal. He had to somehow find Obito alone, and speak to him. He couldn't give up on him.

But Obito was always out of reach.

The closest Kakashi came to have Obito acknowledge his existence was at the end of the first month when Obito raised his hand to stop one of his 'friends' that had gotten tired of Kakashi's pursuit of their leader, and decided to deal with him.

Nothing really had time to happen.

A guy with vivid, violet eyes had pushed him up against the wall. From his looks, he appeared to be an albino – his iris were such a light shade of blue that the red blood vessels showed through, and his hair was as pale as his own – though it was unclear if the silvery tint was natural or colored.

Obito raised his hard, said nothing, and walked on without missing a beat, ignoring them in all other ways. A guy with long dark hair and piercing green eyes turned around and gave Kakashi's attacker an irritated look.

" _Hidan_."

This Hidan let him go and rolled his eyes, cursing about how life wasn't fair. As he walked away a switch-knife slipped out from his sleeve and into his hand. He flicked the blade open. It gleamed maliciously in the lamplight, and Hidan threw him a last smirk over his shoulder as he tossed the knife and caught it again effortlessly.

Kakashi tried to not think about how that hand had just been pressed against his throat.

* * *

 **I just recently read there was a writing rule against starting chapters with dreams (or to include flashbacks during the first three chapters) but… oh well. There's this other rule that says to break 'em all and that's what I'm doing, I guess. XD Thank you from reading, please review and Merry Christmas!**


	4. Chapter 4 - Fallen Angel

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 4 – Fallen Angel

* * *

"Akatsuki, huh?" Kakashi murmured to himself. He sipped on his tea and pulled the newspaper just a little bit closer. Since getting word of Obito's supposed leadership, the movements of the Akatsuki was suddenly a whole lot more interesting to him. He was quick to snap up things spoken of them and his eyes easily searched out the word among thousands of others.

This time he didn't need to do any searching, because it was written in large, bold letters in the front lines of the news.

 _Gang Shootings – Akatsuki Getting out of Hand_

The newspaper had dumped down by his door one Saturday morning when Kakashi had been making himself some tea. He would have preferred to sleep in longer, but Gai had appeared every Saturday for weeks on end since school-start, so this one time when he didn't come at 06:00 Kakashi's internal alarm had gone off all the same.

It wasn't much use trying to go back to sleep once he had woken up. He had sat up with a violent jerk, expecting Gai to jump on his stomach any second unless he proved he was awake. For all that he could say of his friend, he was punctual. But he hadn't – not this morning – and he had awakened in vain.

The headlines immediately had his attention.

Intrigued, Kakashi read the next lines.

 _The weekend had a nasty start when gang fights broke loose shortly after midnight. It is unknown who was the first to start the armed conflict between the two rival gangs Akatsuki and Hell Tigers. A third, unidentified gang joined the fight mere minutes later, turning the conflict into a straight out gun-war. Now the government is on the hunt for these illegal weapons._

 _It was at 00:17 the first shot was fired in Rosendale Street. The police arrived at 00:32 and arrested–_

Kakashi's fingers clenched into the paper.

 _Obito._

Did that mean he had been arrested too? If it was… and he really had been part of shootings… then that was a good thing. So why did Kakashi feel like he wanted to bail him out so bad?

Still, Obito couldn't have shot anyone _–_ Kakashi couldn't even imagine it. But he had to be a part of the Akatsuki and if he was their leader so _–_ , no, that couldn't be, but _–_

He had seen him at school. No matter how much he had tried to tell himself that it was fully possible that Obito just was popular with the cool, 'scary' kids that didn't explain how everyone obeyed his every wink and, again, that air around him… Kakashi looked back at the words again, willing himself to think later.

 _Two are reported dead and–_

Kakashi hit his face against the table.

 _Shit, Obito. What have you done?_

He needed to find a way to speak with him, and soon.

 **o o o**

Talking with Obito was easier said than done. Kakashi managed to approach him at the parking lot once, skipping class to do so in private, but…

Obito had taken of on his motorbike, leaving him in the dust and a cloud of smoke.

However, if one is patient, a chance often presents itself sooner or later.

It was truly fall in the air that day in the beginning of September when Kakashi got his chance, and unusually cold for such an early day of the autumn. Kakashi saw Obito leave his group of friends just as the buses came rolling into the school grounds, and students began flocking around them, anxious to get home. With one last glance at his bus, Kakashi took up his backpack and followed Obito instead.

He seemed to finally have an opportunity to speak to him alone, yet approaching again was hard. Obito walked fast, disappearing behind buildings and corners all the time, and he was going towards the slum parts of town.

Great.

He'd rather not be pulled into any gang-businesses, so if Kakashi wanted to speak to him at all, he needed to do it now. He picked up his pace, deciding to approach instead of just following him around like a lost puppy.

Obito stopped in the middle of a deserted parking lot. Containers were spread out irregularly around the open area, as if thrown around like a handful of miss-shaped dices. Kakashi stopped behind one of them. The white parking lines on concrete were faded and had disappeared completely at places. Glass was broken; it lay crushed on the ground, green and transparent, dull in the cloudy weather. When it was sunny, the ground must be sparkling with all the crystallized pieces. He took a slow breath. It wasn't any use pushing it up. Obito must be aware of his presence already and it would only be more awkward to push it up. He really hoped Obito would at least acknowledge his existence this time.

Just as he was about to take his first step, he saw something move at the corner of his eye. A dark-clothed figure climbed out of the very container he stood next and jumped out. Kakashi quickly realized he wasn't the only one. All around shadows appeared out of the containers, jumped out of them; falling to the ground soundlessly like spiders around Obito. Every one of them wore something of the color blue. There was a hand sign from a man on the other side and suddenly several charged at Obito simultaneously.

Obito stood still, kicking a piece of a broken beer bottle away from him. The only visible reaction he gave them was a small smirk at his lips.

Kakashi saw not one blade, but several flashing though the air. He didn't have time to act.

Then they were on him.

Obito stepped to the side in the last second as the first reached him. He grabbed the arm holding the knife and twisted it. The man groaned and Obito turned, pushed him into the next. A knife was dropped and hit the ground; a grunt was heard as two bodies collided. A man from behind – the one who left the sign – aimed for his neck, and Obito dodged, spun around and hit his jaw. He fell back, but quickly rolled up on his feet again. Two more jumped at him, and Kakashi finally managed to break out of his trance to move.

There was no way Obito could take them on all by himself.

He didn't have time to reach him before the next attack.

Obito punched the man in front of him, managed to block a hit for his head. He dropped down on one hand and kicked up in an enemy's face.

Kakashi stopped as realization sunk in. Obito could actually handle himself. Kakashi watched in fascination that grew to awe as the fight continued and Obito still stood his ground.

Maybe _all_ those rumors weren't quite false.

The leather defended him against most of the blades. A knife rasped Obito's hand, but no more than to leave a shallow mark and then that man too, was on the ground.

Obito jumped back, two switchblades suddenly flashing open in his hand.

 _When did he–_

The enemy gang, or so Kakashi assumed them to be, circled him slowly, more wary now. Obito stood out like a dark, colorless figure in the middle. Their leader was quite tall, and Kakashi didn't like the expression on his face. To Kakashi's shock, their numbers doubled, backup appearing that had stayed in hiding, and Obito was surrounded again. They still seemed unaware of Kakashi _–_ unaware, or they just didn't care.

"You can't take all of us," one of them sneered.

Obito didn't answer, but then again, they didn't do the courtesy of giving him any time to speak.

The leader made a swift motion with his hand.

One, two, three attacked. Obito blocked one knife with his own, kneed the man in his guts, and jumped back. He twisted and pelted his elbow into a face behind him, making the guy fall down with a loud moan and a heavily bleeding nose.

He moved fast. Really fast.

Obito had… improved over the years, to put it mildly, and his fighting style had changed greatly. In judo, attacks against the head were forbidden and therefore a judo fighter could, in real situations, be bad at protecting their head. Obito had no such problem, and honestly, there were only traces of judo left in his moves. He fought in what seemed like a mix of karate moves, freestyle and hint of judo throws, but mostly just raw, brutal street fighting. Anything was fair game and Obito moved like he had been born for this.

Kakashi couldn't help but to stare.

Obito dodged attacks that seemed impossible to avoid, the movement seemed to pass straight through him. He had the speed, the power, the strength, intelligence to read his opponents. The calm to analyze the situation. His eyes were dark with focus, but his almost uncaring attitude was arrogant and the smirk never left his lips. He enjoyed this.

He was… dangerous.

He quickly disarmed the enemy. He took a few punches and kicks – it was impossible to avoid them all entirely – but nothing seemed to be able to make him slow down. If anything; he appeared to be enjoying the challenge.

Obito threw a knife into an opponent coming from the side – Kakashi didn't notice when he dropped the other _–_ and with such force it drove into his shoulder. The last man standing got distracted when his comrade cried out.

Obito got a full hit and knocked him hard enough to not get up again.

He had won, and it was against… Kakashi counted ten in all. And they hadn't exactly been weak either. None of them had fought like an amateur.

Obito kicked at his defeated opponent. "Zabuza, right?" he asked. "One of the top fighters in Demon Waves. Never expected it to be so easy to take you down. Is this all you've got?"

His voice had matured over the years, but that wasn't what caught Kakashi's attention. The tone he used was causal – almost careless – and yet there was an icy chill to his words.

Kakashi had never heard Obito speak like that before – it didn't sound like the Obito he knew at all.

Obito chuckled. "Idiocy – to approach me unarmed…" He bent down, picked up a knife lying close to him and dropped to his knees on the grey asphalt. "Did you seriously think you stood a chance only because I wouldn't be carrying a gun?"

Zabuza only scowled at him.

"Even if I did… I wouldn't have wasted bullets on the likes of you."

That… didn't sound promising. From their one-sided conservation, it sounded like Obito _not_ carrying a gun was something out of the ordinary. Did he lose it during the weekend's fight, or had the search for weapons forced him to hide it? Maybe it simply was that he came from the university – Kakashi really hoped he wouldn't carry fire-weapons to college. For some reason though, Kakashi got the feeling that there seemed to be an unwritten rule against _any_ gun-usage at the moment – maybe a mutual wish to lay low – or perhaps his intuition was wrong and Demon Waters simply didn't have access to guns and only had tried to take advantage of Obito being unarmed.

Kakashi tensed as Obito took the man's hand, held up the arm and pulled the flat side of the knife over his wrist. "Tell me the name of your client. He has been getting on my nerves lately. Bastard has wanted me dead since I refused to do this dirty work, so he lowered his standards and hired _you_. "

Zabuza swore at him, and Obito slit a cut across his arm. Skin parted, letting blood sip forth from the thin crack.

"I'm not patient."

The blade cut once more, gliding once again through the already existing gash like a cruel, smooth saw. Blood spilled out, much blood – too much blood. It ran down his arm; colored the ground dark red. Kakashi's heart leaped, and he felt his pulse rise.

Obito shrugged.

"Never mind. I'll find him eventually."

He saw Obito's hand tighten around his hand, pull the skin apart. The man, probably someone in their own age, let out a pained grunt and his fingers twitched.

One of the fallen teens tried to lift himself up on his arms. "Don't hurt him," he gritted out.

Obito didn't even spare him a glance.

Kakashi wasn't part of gang rules and etiquette – probably there were no rules at all but survival of the fittest – but he needed to stop this. If he cut the artery _–_

"Maybe not quite deep enough," Obito mused, lifting his knife again.

That was it.

Kakashi ran forwards and grabbed Obito's hand. His heart beat hard, adrenaline pumping through his body. He saw the color red. There was so much blood. Shit – that cut, he needed… He might really bleed to death unless he stopped the _–_

Obito's arm flexed.

Kakashi's glance shifted from the bleeding man to his childhood friend.

"Are you one of them, Kakashi?" Obito asked. His voice was dangerously calm.

"I haven't seen them before," he said. He didn't let go of Obito's hand, took a deep breath. "Obito, you're going too far." He stared at Obito's neck, willing him to turn around so he could see what the hell was going on in that mind of his, and still – at the same time he was frightened to find out.

If he didn't stop now…

He could hear his own heartbeat. Everything was silent, slow, and the tension in the air was heavy, thick and dense. The small pool of blood Zabuza's arm laid in grew. It felt difficult to breathe. Thousands of thoughts ran through Kakashi's mind. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't break the silence. Obito stayed deathly still. Kakashi waited for him to snap at any moment, say something.

He didn't.

Obito stood up and Kakashi let his wrist slip free. Without a glance at Kakashi, he walked away.

Kakashi turned back to the injured man. He grabbed the man's hand, holding hard over the wound from which blood was still pulsing out of. It wasn't spurting – it could have been worse – but it was coming too fast and it wouldn't stop in its own.

 _Red._

"Fuck…"

He didn't have much on hand. He slipped out of his jacket and pulled off his shirt, tearing the cloth to strips as fast as he could. He wrapped them hard around the cut wrist to stop the bleeding.

The white strips of his shirt soaked up blood, turned crimson.

 _Rin._

Kakashi shook his head, forced the image out of his mind. It had been ages ago, and he didn't have time with that right now.

The man was conscious, but he didn't say anything, watched him silently. Kakashi didn't know what to do – he couldn't leave him here, but if he called an ambulance he would get all those questions, and the guy's life probably wasn't in danger anymore. He would need to go to the hospital, though, as soon as possible – as would the man with a knife still in his shoulder. Depending on where Obito had hit, pulling that out at any place but a hospital might be suicide. But because they both were gang-members, maybe they didn't want to go there. In the end, Kakashi decided to ask the man himself.

"Should I call the ambulance?"

Zabuza blinked, eyes slightly glossy. Unfocused. The blood loss was probably making him feel lightheaded.

"No. We'll take care of him," a voice said as it pulled itself up from the ground, watching him with a mixture of wariness and thankfulness. He stroke long hair away from his face – it was the same younger boy who had spoken earlier and tried to stop Obito.

A cold wind made him shiver and Kakashi tied the last pieces of his shirt around the arm of the other man. He then pulled on his jacket, stood up and gave a curt nod. "He'll need stitches." He turned to walk away when another voice sopped him.

"Are you Akatsuki?"

Kakashi looked back at the new man who had spoken to him. He was spitting blood. His blue eyes screamed anger. "Akatsuki killed my sister. I will get my revenge."

Surely, Obito couldn't have…?

 _News. Shootings. Akatsuki. Dead._

"I…" he swallowed, thoughts making a web in his head. "I'm not."

"Family?"

"Of Obito? No." He turned to leave again, took a few steps.

"Are you his friend?"

"No… yes. I was… I am." It was dangerous to admit it, but he still didn't want to abandon Obito. It was probably loyalties – he still cared about Obito, saw him as his friend, and he wouldn't deny it.

"Watch your back," someone muttered after him. Kakashi wasn't sure if it was a threat or a warning to beware of Obito. Maybe it was both. Hands sticky with cooled, drying blood, he walked away, not looking too unlike a murderer. He tried to not think of it, tried to ignore the feeling.

 _My fault, my fault, my fault_ –

Kakashi took a few calming breaths and hid his hands under his sleeves. He tried to ignore it, pretend it away, that it wasn't there. He took another breath, held it long enough for his lungs to burn in protest before he breathed out slowly. It helped him calm down.

This wasn't Rin's blood. Nobody had died today. Everything was okay. For now, everything was okay.

He cringed whenever anyone saw him. Instead of taking the more commonly used roads he took the shortest way through the slums, going by his inner compass. He hid his hands as well as he could, hoped nobody would notice the dark spots on his pants and call the police.

Two girls walked by. They were talking with each other, seemingly in a deep discussion. A pair of eyes swept over him and then looked back. Her voice stopped. Both stared. Kakashi wanted to cover his head with a hoodie and hide, but continued waking, looking straight ahead and kept his bloody hands hidden in his sleeves. Only the fingertips showed.

They passed him.

 **o o o**

He came home late and washed his hands, many times. It was difficult to get the dried blood all out of his nails. He missed judo practice and ignored Gai's call. They could speak tomorrow; it would give him time to think of an excuse. This wasn't something he could involve them with.

He showered, leaning heavy against the cool bricks. He didn't know why he felt so tired. Maybe he was coming down with something.

He thought back.

Obito had stopped, but…

Kakashi had seen the murderous glint in his eyes, the small smile of satisfaction at the man's pained sound, and hadn't Kakashi been around...

What had become of him?

Kakashi remembered the day he had had to tell Obito about Rin's death. It was the day that had been the start of what changed everything, of what changed _them_.

He had woken up from nightmares, knowing reality was worse than any nightmare, knowing he couldn't put it up, fearing Obito's reaction.

Rin had died yesterday.

It was his fault.

He was the only one to blame that his friend was dead, his promise to Obito broken.

When he woke that day, he knew that he had to tell Obito. He dreaded to, because he himself wasn't calm or collected yet and he knew he had to be for Obito's sake. But he didn't want Obito to find out from anyone else, or even worse, hear about it in the news at TV before Kakashi had told him.

At the very least, Kakashi should tell him himself. He owed him that much.

When he knocked on Obito's door and his parents met him, he felt like he could almost forget everything. They were happy to see him, they were happy both of them had made it alive through the fire and they were happy Obito was home again, quickly recovering.

Everything seemed to be the same as it always had been.

 _Nothing_ was the same.

"Obito?" Kakashi asked, tiredly, trying to smile a polite smile. It looked more like a grimace.

"He's in his room. Don't you have Rin with you?"

"She was… hit by a car yesterday," he murmured, "She's dead."

Obito's parents immediately turned sober. Without saying anything, they moved to the side to let him in. Kakashi wordlessly entered. As he walked up the stairs to Obito's room, his legs felt heavier than they ever had before in his life.

Kakashi knocked on the door to Obito's bedroom. It was a silent, almost nonexistent knock, but Obito must have been bored or waiting for his friends visit, because he answered at once.

"Come in!"

Kakashi hesitated only a moment before he took a deep breath, turned the door handle and walked into the room.

"Kakashi!" Obito smiled when he saw his visitor. "Didn't Rin– ", he stopped in the middle of his sentence as he noticed Kakashi's look.

"Hey, are you alright?" Obito's concerned voice made him feel even worse.

Kakashi couldn't seem to get out a sound. Forcing himself to take control of himself, he managed to speak.

"Obito." Kakashi's voice was unusually husky. His throat was thick. "Rin– " Seeing Obito's worried look, he paused. But he had to say it. He needed to say it. Obito deserved to know, and dragging it out would only make it more painful for both of them.

Obito's serious eyes reminded him of his promise and Kakashi broke their eye contact. He couldn't hold his gaze anymore. His eyes focused on a framed photo pf the three of them standing in his desk. He couldn't look at that either and shifted his gaze to stare at the wall.

"Rin is dead," he managed to say, his voice emotionless; because that was the only way he seemed to be able to speak at all.

Kakashi saw Obito stiffen in the corner of his eye.

"Kakashi, if this is a joke– "

"It's not."

How could he joke about something like this?

 _One day_ , a voice in his head whispered. _He asked you to look after her for one day. You couldn't even do that much._

A few deadly silent minutes passed before Obito spoke again.

"What happened?"

Kakashi told him everything. About Pakkun. The rabbit. The roaring wind. How Rin had pushed him out of the way and how she died short after, holding his hand. Of how he couldn't make out her final words. Obito deserved to know everything.

The only thing he spared him was the blood, her pale face and the kiss Rin left on his cheek as she took her final breath.

Obito didn't say anything for a long while, but the tension in the room was soon thick enough to cut through. He stood up, even though he was supposed to stay in bed at least a few days more. His right arm was bandaged, as was his torso. Kakashi had never felt so bad in his entire life before. He was the reason Obito was injured and now he was the reason Rin was dead. If Obito had just left him burning, everything would have been better.

"Obito, you shouldn't get up yet," Kakashi tried to tell him.

Obito's pitch black eyes snapped to his. "Shut up," he said, in a voice colder than Kakashi had ever heard him use before. He walked up to him and hit him hard in the jaw. Kakashi fell back against the wall, slid down on the floor, but didn't say anything. To be honest, the physical pain almost seemed to ease the emotional pain in his heart, if only for a moment.

Obito waked closer, gripped his shirt. He pulled him up and pressed him against the wall.

"It's your fault," Obito said, voice full of hate as his free, bandaged hand moved to clench around his throat.

Kakashi winced at Obito's words, but couldn't defend himself.

"You let her die. You killed her," he hissed, and Kakashi knew him well enough to know that he saw red. Obito's grip tightened, and Kakashi couldn't breathe. He tried to unclasp Obito's fingers from his throat but the grip was as hard as iron. Kakashi's lungs burned and dark spots clouded his vision.

He made a choked sound.

Obito's eyes widened slightly as he realized what he was doing and he let Kakashi go. Kakashi gasped for air and coughed when the pressure around his neck disappeared.

"Leave."

Kakashi looked up to meet his eyes. They were turmoil of pain and anger and it made Kakashi's heart ache. The raw desperation in his gaze seemed to cut into his soul. "Obito, please– "

Obito closed his eyes, as if he tried to control himself. He clenched his fists. "Leave now."

Kakashi didn't move. "Obito– "

Obito's eyes snapped open and he waked closer, pressing his chest hard against Kakashi's so that he was trapped between the wall and Obito's body. "Go now," he said. His voice dropped lower. "Or both of us will regret it."

Why wouldn't Obito listen to him? He shouldn't have to go through this alone. Kakashi knew Obito must be breaking. If staying meant that Kakashi would be Obito's personal punching bag for a while; it really didn't matter to him.

A deep, angry sound was heard from the back of Obito's throat when Kakashi made no move to get out of there. Slowly, Obito pressed his thigh between Kakashi's legs, making Kakashi doubt himself as he squirmed uncomfortably.

"Kakashi," Obito all but growled silently in his ear, "If you don't leave now, I will do things to you that you won't like."

He fished up a switch knife with his free hand and snapped it open. The sharp blade gleamed as daylight from the window was reflected on the surface of it.

"I'm not thinking clearly. I want to hurt you. _Bad_."

This wasn't good. Obito really seemed to be losing it. But Kakashi had to try one last time. He had a sinking feeling that if he and Obito couldn't make up now, Obito might never forgive him and break their bond completely. Kakashi couldn't stand the thought of losing Obito too.

"Please, Obito, I really just– "

Obito didn't let him finish his sentence. He turned him around harshly and thrust him down in his bed. The knife was suddenly impaled into the bed sheets inches away from Kakashi's head.

Kakashi tensed.

A shadow fell over his form as Obito walked closer. He was breathing heavily, his eyes flicking with fervent emotions as they turned darker by the second.

"Run."

Kakashi didn't remember how he got outside, but by the time he was, he couldn't help but to notice the warm tears that ran down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. Annoyed, Kakashi wiped them away, but he couldn't seem to make them stop. A few of them run down on his lips and he felt the taste of salt.

He ran until he exhausted himself, run as if chased until he could go no further. He collapsed on the middle of the lonely road. Tears burned in his eyes, an unbearable pain in his chest.

He couldn't take any more of this.

Kakashi pulled his hand through his hair. If he couldn't handle this, how would Obito to able to?

Kakashi knew what he felt for Rin, knew how much he loved her, knew that he must be breaking, shattering and falling into a never-ending darkness. And yet… he couldn't help him.

He could never do _anything_.

After that, Kakashi's memories instantly became foggy again. He remembered walking home, broken, to his grandfather. He remembered Rin's funeral a few weeks later and how Obito never showed up.

Black clothes, black sky and a black mind.

Things didn't get better. Obito refused to see Kakashi at all. In the end of the summer he moved away to Amegakure without a word to Kakashi who found out from his parents a few weeks later. It had hurt, that Obito would even go so far as to leave his home and the high school he, Obito and Rin was supposed to have started that fall. But there hadn't been anything he could do about it.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for all your lovely support! It means a lot. I must admit I hoped it would get pretty much attention eventually seeing as it will probably (?) be the longest ObiKaka fanfiction there is (so far – but if I lose that place I won't cry, trust me!) but at the same time I had my doubts people would be willing to give it a try seeing as it's AU. So your support has really made me very happy and I hope you'll continue to read and enjoy this! I didn't expect this much encouragement so soon. :)**

 **A little clarifier: Obito and Zabuza's gangs are not using guns because they don't want to pull attention to themselves with the police already high on their heels. Gunshots are heard, fists and knifes? Not so much.**

 **As always, please review! :D**

 **(And again - thank you Aoi for your help!)**


	5. Chapter 5 - Colliding Stars

**Again, Aoi, thank you for being my beta! :)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 5 – Colliding Stars

* * *

Kakashi didn't quite know how to act around Obito after the incident. He felt a stronger need than ever to speak to him, but he was more hesitant than he had been before to simply walk up to him.

Something seemed to hold him back.

As the days passed, he had more studying to do. There weren't any upcoming tests just yet, but the teachers picked up their speed and gave more homework than they had the first weeks. His nineteenth birthday passed by quietly, with the only disturbance being Gai who had, unfortunately, not forgotten about the day. Thankfully he managed to talk his friend out of throwing a party for him – the mere thought gave him nightmares.

He called Jiraiya once and trained almost daily at the dojo with Gai and Tenzo. The faded colors in the classrooms and the turns of corridors became familiar, as did the special way he had to unlock his school locker. Push the key in, pull out slightly, and twist.

He saw Obito around a few times, but never had a run in with him or any really good opportunity to try to talk with him either, even though he admittedly could have made a bigger effort.

Overall, the month had been peaceful.

October began.

And Kakashi lost his eraser.

Everyone knows that a student can't just waste erasers. So when Kakashi found out that one of his – his last one at that – was missing, he went on a hunt after school. Sure, the likelihood that it was already found and claimed by somebody else was big – Kakashi himself was quick to snap up ones he stumbled upon – but there was always a chance it laid forgotten and abandoned somewhere. Kakashi wasn't going to give up on it without at least making a half-decent attempt at finding it first.

The lectures were all over, and the corridors were almost all empty now with only a few students still lingering in the halls. It was half an hour before the university was to be locked for the day. Kakashi had just searched out his mentor to borrow a key he could use to get into the locked classrooms. He was given the trust of having it as long as he promised to return it before the school closed.

He walked down the corridors to the classroom he last remembered using it. It wasn't there so Kakashi locked the door again and continued to the classroom he had occupied after that. When he reached it, he paused as he heard a sound from within the room.

There couldn't still be a prolonged lecture, could it?

No, all lectures, even the latest ones, should have ended thirty-five minutes ago. He figured that it probably was a teacher fixing something of the next day's lesson or a cleaning-girl, so he brought his hand to the handle and opened the already unlocked door.

Kakashi got a little more of an eyeful than what he bargained for.

The first thought that ran through his mind was that he didn't know Obito was bisexual.

The second was that, wow, Obito really had gotten quite muscular. Kakashi was jealous. For all that training did him, he always stayed on the lean side.

And the third thing was that he felt really bad for whatever teacher would be using that desk tomorrow.

Finally – a thought he was quick to push out of his mind – was that it looked sexy. Then again, the other guy _could_ be mistaken for a girl, making it seem suspiciously much like a scene taken straight out from a porn-video, and Kakashi probably _had_ been reading too much Icha Icha lately.

At the sound of the door opening, Obito snapped dark, annoyed eyes to glare at him. Upon noticing that it was Kakashi, his eyes darkened even further, eyes narrowing dangerously.

That was the first time their eyes met in in four long years, and Kakashi's breath hitched.

The blond underneath him turned his head to where Obito was looking. "Hey, get out," the long-haired male sneered at him before taking in his appearance as he quickly gave him a once over. "Or join us," he added with a questioningly raise of an eyebrow and a cocky smirk.

Kakashi decided then that he probably would rather buy a new eraser after all, and didn't wait to find out what Obito had to say about his partner's suggestion.

He quickly slammed the door shut and hurried to leave the school grounds, face ablaze.

 **o o o**

It was hard falling asleep that night. Harder than it should be. The image he had seen earlier that afternoon was burned into his mind, and he couldn't shake it off. It annoyed him that he couldn't stop thinking about it. Obito's sex life was none of his business.

But did he really have to… in the university – of all places? And why had Kakashi been the one who walked it on it? Why did he have to lose his eraser just that day, why did he have to have had a lecture in just that room earlier?

Kakashi turned and squirmed many hours into the night, unable to relax, before he finally felt his eyelids growing heavy and sleep kick into darkness.

 _Kakashi stands in front of Obito. A finger lifts and points straight at him._

 _"_ _You promised that you would protect her."_

 _"_ _I did my best!"_

 _"_ _You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."_

 _"_ _Please, I tried!"_

 _"_ _I saved you and this is how you repay me? By letting her die!?"_

 _"_ _No!"_

 _"_ _Look at your hands, you killer!"_

 _Kakashi looks down. They are covered in blood. He looks up again and Obito is standing right front of him. Onyx eyes stare into his soul, suffocating him. Obito is naked._

 _Kakashi takes a step backward – and into a sharp counter. Suddenly his back is pressed down against a desk and he realizes that he doesn't have any clothes, on, either. Obito is hovering over him – his wrists being pinned down by Obito's hands._

 _Obito tilts his head. "Join us."_

 _He touches him, and Kakashi gasps._

Kakashi woke up when his alarm clock rang, his eyes snapping open as his hand automatically turned off the alarm. His heart was beating hard.

Just a dream.

It was just a dream. The same dream as always… but different this time.

Kakashi got up and walked in a zombie-like state into the bathroom. He turned on the lamp, peered into the sudden light to give his eyes some time to adjust as he pulled his boxers off and threw them into the washing bin. He turned on the tap as he walked into the shower, feeling the temperature of the water before stepping into the hot steam. Warm water hit his head and back, wet his hair and ran down over his shoulders as it warmed him up, woke him up and slowly brought him back to the living.

Kakashi let his body lean against the cool wall as he showered, breathing in the steam the water let off.

Obito.

He really needed to stop thinking about him all the time. He couldn't force Obito to forgive him. And why did he have to dream about him like that? Kakashi had never thought about him sexually before and found himself cursing his mind that had made him see and feel things he had never wanted to think about, but of course _that_ hadn't stopped him from getting excited in his dream.

Ugh. Kakashi hated morning wood.

His hand glided down his stomach, thoughts already filling with scenes from Icha Icha when his movement suddenly stopped as he realized what he was doing.

 _No._

He was _not_ going to masturbate because _Obito_ had given him a hard-on in a dream.

No way in hell.

Kakashi's hand lifted and switched the water from hot to icy cold.

 **o o o**

After the shower, still towel-drying his hair, Kakashi put water on the stove to make some tea to try and get a little bit of warmth into his still shivering body. As he waited for the water to heat up he went on a frantic search for a pair of pants that still fit him.

Kakashi Hatake did _not_ like shopping.

Buying food was alright, but to try to find clothes that were in the right size, comfortable and at a reasonable price was pure torture. Even the thought of walking into a store made him weary. As such, he avoided it at all costs. The result being that he, after a year (or maybe two) of not purchasing any new clothes was a little low on fitting pants (a little being an exaggeration, seeing as _all_ his pants were on the short side and growing quite tight… and he really only had two he switched between). Still, it had been in the fashion lately with tight jeans – yeah, even for guys now – and as long as his clothes weren't the color green or made of spandex, Kakashi was pretty much content.

As he ruefully eyed his favorite pair of jeans that seemed to have shrunk even further in the laundry, even he had to admit he couldn't put it off much longer. These ones reached only little over halfway to his ankles from his knees, nowadays. It was true that he had started growing pretty late, but by now he was at his age mates' length, so shouldn't he stop growing soon? Constantly getting taller (while a welcome from being short and small) wasn't very economical. Really.

He could _probably_ push it up a few extra months, though. As long as he wore long socks it shouldn't be too cold and maybe he'd get new pants as a Christmas gift from Jiraiya if he wished for it. It would have been such a waste of money to purchase any earlier. If not; he'd get a new pair during the winter break.

Yep. That sounded like a plan.

And so Kakashi got into his pants with little difficulty, but once they were in place, while a little figure-hugging, they really wasn't that bad. He pulled on white sports-socks and a t-shirt over his head.

The water was almost boiling when Kakashi saw the time on the clock and once again realized that he had taken longer than he had expected. He had to pour out the boiling water in the sink and settle for a cold breakfast consisting of an apple on his way out to the bus stop.

The world outside was covered in thin crystals of ice and his breath came out in a white cloud when he exhaled. Kakashi quickly zipped up his jacket as he hurried to the bus stop. He wished he had brought a hood or something to cover his wet ears with. The first morning rays had not yet reached the horizon and it would have been dark outside if the streetlights hadn't been on. When he got on the bus he saw the sky tint pink as the sun rose, melting the frostbite away and making the glittering landscape once again a damp, dull grey.

"Good morning my rival!"

"Morning, Gai." He looked out again. "Did you have time to see the frost before it melted away?"

"Yes! How could I miss something like that?"

Perhaps because his teeth glistered bright enough to rival any ice, Kakashi's mind suggested kindly, but he didn't say anything. For some reason, he almost always felt slightly sarcastic in the morning. Sarcastic, grumpy, or too tired to be either. But still, this had been a beautiful dawn and it had helped to lift his bad morning temper… and to take his mind off a certain dream.

He wanted to forget about it as quickly as possible.

"You know, I think I will like the morning runs better from now on," Kakashi said, as a way of changing his thoughts to distract himself from thinking of yesterday's encounter with Obito.

"That's the way it should sound, my friend!" Gai exclaimed. "And in the winter we will go for a youthful skiing trip!"

Kakashi nodded. "I'd like that. It was fun last year. We could ask Tenzo and a few of the other guys to join us and go together."

"The more, the youth-fuller!"

Kakashi closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. He smiled. "I think the saying goes 'the merrier', Gai."

The bus pulled to a stop just as Kakashi was starting to drift asleep. Mournfully, he had to leave his warm, cozy seat and go to his lecture at the university despite the few hours of rest he had gotten last night. At least today he'd finish early.

He awkwardly returned the keys with a mumbling apology. He felt stupid to have broken his word because of what had happened, but thankfully his mentor seemed to forgive him. Whether it was from either the goodness of his heart or had to do with Kakashi's perfect grades, well… it didn't matter, as long as it worked out in his favor.

The cold didn't last long. The sun rose on the clear sky and made the day pleasantly warm. During the evening, clouds drifted in over the city, and over the following day it rained heavily; reminding Kakashi it was still quite some time before winter fully kicked in.

Judo that night was great. Even though he only had skipped it once, Kakashi had still missed it. At the end of practice, he even slipped over to the boxing side – his judo club shared premises with a boxing club – and began mistreating a boxing sack badly just because he felt like hitting something, hard.

Tenzo kept a careful distance from him, and Gai gave him funny looks but didn't ask.

Kakashi kept hitting the sack, and no one dared remind him that he was on the wrong side of the training hall.

 **o o o**

The following weekend, Kakashi traveled to the graveyard where his parents lay buried.

He hadn't been here since he last moved from the city at the age of six. It took a while to find the place where they rested next to each other, because his memory of that time hadn't been the best. He remembered coming here with his father to put flowers and candles on his mother's grave – the recalling of snowy, dark winters and how the warm, yellow candle-light shone the strongest amongst his memories. He used to hold his father's hand. He had worn blue and white stripped mittens, and it was cold. In the summer it was green, sparely sprinkled with a few lonely buttercups. The big, silent graveyard was a solemn and sad place, but he had liked being there with his father. Somehow it made him feel close to the mother he couldn't remember and he felt at peace.

Kakashi shook his head. Apparently, he had always liked graveyards.

The most recent memory though, was far hazier and darker – visions blurred with tears at his father's funeral right before he moved to Konoha to live with his grandfather.

He stopped in front of the stone engraved with the name of Sakumo Hatake. He put flowers on his mother's grave. If he remembered correctly, his father never cared too much for them anyway, so he hadn't even bothered to get him any. But he traced the letters written in stone, felt a familiar lump in his throat.

 _Why did you leave me?_

It was his younger self's voice, of course.

 _Why would you leave me, father? Why choose death when you had me? Was I nothing to you?_

He didn't feel like that anymore, but he still had those thoughts to some degree. He no longer carried resentment or anger towards his dad. How could he be angry at the dead? His father had meant the world to him and still today, he saw him as something of a hero. He had been a police officer, and he was super cool, and Kakashi had wanted to be exactly like him.

The suicide had hit him like a hard fist in his stomach. He had hated to stop from hurting, and though Jiraiya tried to reach through to him, he never managed to. After his father's death he had been a cold and daunting child, stiff and almost impossible to get close to. Ironically, it was only when he first opened up to Obito about it that he could let go and move on.

His father had been a wonderful man, and Kakashi knew better now. The work as an officer – while admirable – was hardly a pleasant one, and very straining mentally. The death of his wife was hard on Sakumo, and only much, much later did Kakashi hear that Sakumo had been blamed for an incident that resulted in several of his colleagues' deaths. Kakashi didn't know the details about it – the information was classified – but apparently it had broken him, and Sakumo had ended his life.

Unfortunately, Kakashi had been the first to find his body.

But he had happy memories, too. Many happy memories – of swimming in cold lakes, getting to ride in a police car once and of course, judo. He'd rather focus on them.

"I refuse to give up on Obito," he promised, with new determination in his voice. "And you're still my hero, you know."

When the sun set, Kakashi flipped open his orange book and walked back to the closest bus stop. His mind felt cleared, his troubles a little lighter. Speaking to the dead almost seemed to work as some sort of therapy for him.

* * *

 **I dare not promise the date I will publish the next chapter, but I hope to have chapter 6 out by the 10th February. Basically all chapters are written – I think – and all that's left to do is a whole lot of time-consuming editing. I hope, once I get the hang of things at my new school, that I'll be able to publish one chapter a week. Thank you for reading and let me know what you thought of the chapter! :D**


	6. Chapter 6 - Roar of the Crowd

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 6 - Roar of the Crowd

* * *

The autumn holidays was coming up in the end of October, and with it a Judo tournament in Amegakure. It was almost a little too big for Kakashi to want to have anything to do with it, but it had been a long time since he fought in a real competition – and it _was_ their club that held the activity. It didn't take much persuasion from Gai's side for him to agree to participate in the event. Everyone in the club wanted to see what their new members would accomplish and it was bound to be fun.

That naturally meant that Kakashi and Gai trained even harder the weeks before the holiday. It was a good and a well-needed distraction for Kakashi to take his mind off Obito, as well. While he was still determined to reach through to his old friend, he had yet to figure out exactly _how_ to do so. So far all attempts he had made at contacting him had failed – and Obito had only paid him any mind when he saw him as a potential gang-enemy.

The days before the competition Kakashi and Gai were ordered to not do any heavy training, which proved, as always, to be a very difficult rule for Gai to follow. So in between studying, Kakashi made sure to challenge him in everything from video-games to cooking – anything that made him stay relatively still. For his own part, Kakashi wasn't really sure it was necessary. Gai never seemed to lack energy so he doubted training normally would hurt him or make him present worse. But their sensei had specifically asked him to keep an eye on his friend so Kakashi felt obliged to make the effort. He didn't know how much difference it could possibly make since he couldn't make sure to watch Gai _all_ the time but at least he managed to make Gai promise him that he wouldn't run any longer than two miles a day until after the competitions which hopefully counted for something.

Trying to make Gai to take it easy was like shaking a bottle with carbonated drink. As soon as somebody loosened the cork – by purpose or accident – he would be an uncontrollable spurt of energy. Kakashi really hoped he wouldn't have to face him in the competition. Not after doing this.

The day of the Amegakure Judo Championships came and the stadium they had rented were packed with people. Competitors from clubs from all around the city had gathered and a large amount non-competing people who simply had come to cheer on friends and loved ones filled the place. The crowd seemed to give off energy, the excitement feeding the ones competing and almost made Kakashi feel hyper, adrenaline pumping through his body as he warmed up.

The lighter weight-classes competed first, so the children fought before they did. This also meant that Tenzo fought earlier than Kakashi and Gai, who both were in the same group of competitors. Kakashi and Gai showed up shortly after ten to be able to watch him fight.

Tenzo's opponent was skilled, but Tenzo managed to win quite easily and his fellow judoka hit the ground not too soon after the match had started. When he returned Gai slammed his back in congratulation to his youthful win.

The weight classes after Tenzo's were Kakashi's and Gai's.

Kakashi was given a blue obi to wear just before his turn came and he heard his name being called out by an official. He was one of the first ones to fight in his weight class and his opponent was from a rival dojo. He walked out and bowed, before walking onto the mat to face his opponent as the audience cheered. Kakashi eyed his opponent quickly. He was looked strong – possibly stronger than Kakashi. He was a good few years older than him, and though Kakashi was slightly taller he looked heavier. Not by much, of course, but still heavier. Kakashi guessed he was in the middle of his twenties.

What remained to be found out was if his level of skills had anything on him.

Both men bowed towards each other once again according to tradition, and then Kakashi stepped inside the line as his opponent did the same, both waiting for the signal to begin.

The tatami-mat felt elastic under his bare toes. The crowd silenced.

"Hajime!"

The older man was quick to grab after him.

Kakashi used the movement against him by gripping into his opponent's arm and performed a one-arm shoulder throw. The weight got Kakashi off balance – due to a late growth spurt he had recently moved up a weight class – and the force needed was lacking, earning him only a half-point – a waza-ari – instead of an instantly winning ippon. But Kakashi was quick to twist the arm of his opponent in a stranded arm-lock, immobilizing him.

Knowing his defeat, the man tapped on the mat as a sign of submission.

The judge raised his arm. "Ippon, sore made!"

Kakashi was declared the winner.

He let the other competitor go and after he stood up, the two bowed to each other again, before and after they stepped off the mat, bowing one last time. To someone not used to judo, it seemed like a lot of bowing, but Kakashi barely thought of it anymore.

On his way back he high-fived Gai, wishing him good-luck while Gai congratulated him as he made his way to the mat. Kakashi met Tenzo and it was their turn to watch Gai fight.

Gai won an ippon with a swiping hip throw. He grabbed his opponent's arm and the collar of his judogi, and in a quick set of motions turned and used one of his legs to get his opponent off balance as he performed the throw. The audience cheered at him for his quick win.

When Gai returned, he was pumped and already impatient for his next opponent. But it would take a while before he got to compete again. There were so many judokas that they had to wait long in between their fights, especially now in the beginning of the tournament in the first rounds, and the three friends watched the fights after them as they waited for their next turn. They analyzed the strength of their club overall and tried to figure out their possible opponents' moves and level of skill. To keep warmed up, they had a special room to go and stretch in and do some lighter exercises before it was time for them to compete again.

They only got one more chance to fight again before lunch. Tenzo and his opponent were evenly matched, and Tenzo only continued because his opponent got a shido – a minor violation against the rules, which, by default, made Tenzo the winner. Gai once again won with an ippon, but Kakashi had more difficulties with his new opponent. They were evenly matched and ended up fighting until time run out. Kakashi was declared the winner from getting a waza-ari – he performed a throw showing strength and precision, but didn't manage to get his opponent to land on his back. He almost managed to get a second waza-ari by a down hold, but time run out before he had immobilized his opponent in the minimum 15 seconds required. Two waza-ari – even called two half-points – would have earned him an ippon. His opponents had two yukos but as the lowest scoring point, no number of yukos could win over a waza-ari. At lunch time everyone had fought someone twice and the winners of both their rounds were to fight again that afternoon in semi-finals to choose which competitors would fight for tomorrow's final.

The tree friends quickly changed before heading out to eat and rest together at Mc Donald's. Sure, it was unhealthy, but if there was one time Kakashi justified eating unhealthy it was on days like this. Besides, it was the closest restaurant in the area.

The entire place was stuffed with people from the stadium since seemingly more than Kakashi thought it was alright to eat fast-food on days like this. In total eleven from Star Master's Judo Club had gone to semi-finals, and though some club members went home directly after their competitions had been fought, most stayed to cheer on their friends and club at a whole. With the judokas and their families and friends, the Mac Donald's employees had a busy lunch rush to say the least.

The restaurant was filled with voices and laughter and occasionally a few fans came and congratulated on their wins, wishing them good luck that afternoon and just generally being more confident than Kakashi himself was that he would continue to the finals. It said a lot, considering Kakashi wasn't, and had never been, modest. He smiled back, forcing himself to become a people-person for a day. It was a price he had to pay when he competed.

A few younger boys asked for their signatures and quite a number of girls flirted more or less subtly with him – the boldest one even left a chaste kiss on his cheek. Tenzo was called adorable much to Kakashi's amusement, but sadly his new friend did little to take the attention away from him. Kakashi figured he had had enough female attention for a day so he picked up his worn-out book by habit, hoping to look busy while reading, but accidentally making matters worse when some of the girls started blushing, giggling and laughing nervously – others giving him straight out bedroom eyes.

Kakashi shuddered and hid further behind his book. Though more females than ever seemed to be even more intrigued at the sight of him reading erotica openly, at least it worked to some degree – they were less likely to approach and disturb him.

He liked women, but in groups they could truly be downright terrifying. And contrary to popular belief, Kakashi wouldn't sleep with any girl he met _even_ if he read porn in public and was, well, a ladies' man whether he wanted to be or not. He'd swear it must be in his genes, because he did nothing consciously to attract them. Truthfully, he actually wanted to get to know a person before engaging in sexual activities, and yes, he did read explicit material, but that didn't make him a sex addict… or a sex god, as some of the more flattering rumors went.

Since Kakashi was antisocial and never really bothered to get to know anyone he mostly stuck to Icha Icha. Flattering or not, he just wanted to read his porn in peace. Was that so much to ask for?

He had had a relationship with a feisty girl named Anko the last year in Konoha High. Kakashi got to know her at the dojo since she was into judo as well and for some reason she had set her sights on him. After half a year of trying, she had managed to get him drunk and seduce him. Not long after that night they had gotten into a relationship in which they just worked.

Anko accepted his lack of romance and feelings and Kakashi accepted Anko's temperament, violence and sometimes downright creepy personality. It had been nice while it lasted but when the school year ended and they parted ways they broke it off because of a mutual decision. No one was interested in a long distance relationship and neither really cared to share the rest of their lives with each other. Most people would have seen them as a failure, but that wasn't it either. They were never really lovers, but they had been satisfied to simply have each other as a companion, friend and sleeping buddy – both being highly sexual individuals.

To others, it was a hard thing to explain, but they had never been looking for romance or a life-long partner in the other. The future hadn't mattered, just the now. Had things not changed, they wouldn't have broken up. It was nice not to be alone.

Anko had her fair share of difficulties herself and sometimes Kakashi wondered if there ever would be such a thing as 'love' for either of them. They hadn't been able to love each other but they had cared as much as their scarred hearts had let them. Neither Kakashi nor Anko would have walked through fire and water for the other, but they had always been there to give a shoulder to lean on when one of them stumbled, a hand to help the other get up when one of them fell.

Though he was attracted to her and she was one of his closest friends, he couldn't bring himself to miss her more than the feeling of waking up against a warm body in the morning and dark, dirty nights together to relieve tension and stress and just _forget_ about the world for a moment.

Dammit. Maybe he needed to get laid after all.

But finding a girl like Anko – someone who understood his flaws, didn't insist she needed to know everything about him, and he didn't have to worry about risking getting attached wasn't always the easiest thing. And Kakashi… well, he wasn't the type to do much searching himself.

He'd probably end up a bachelor for life.

The afternoon went well. They fought four more times each and both Kakashi and Gai won all their rounds and were to fight again tomorrow. Tenzo had a little less luck. He did good, but fought a skilled opponent and lost in his third match that afternoon. He didn't seem to mind too badly, stating that he had had fun and that he actually would have been a bit nervous to fight in finals. Gai complimented him for this youthful unselfishness while Kakashi reminded the brunet that there would be a new possibility for him to get to finals next year.

Kakashi went to bed early to be well rested the following day. Though the training itself hadn't been that hard he was exhausted and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow – the sounds of hundreds of people still buzzing in his ears as he drifted away. He was too tired to even let his thoughts linger on Obito and fell into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

 **o o o**

Gai woke him up by a shout of "Dramatic entry!" as he slammed open the door to Kakashi's bedroom the next morning. Kakashi startled, and flew up into sitting position with a jerk of alarm before he realized that it was just, well, _Gai_ and sighed tiredly.

Gai smiled, and Kakashi closed his eyes, laid back down and hit a pillow over his face, deciding that everything about the other man was too bright, too green and too youthful at this hour.

Far too youthful.

Then he sat up and threw the pillow into Gai's face.

The fights that day were intense with more matches and less times between them. Winners fought against winners, and once one had lost that was the end of it. In the afternoon, Kakashi and Gai were, together with two others, the only ones left in their weight class. Gai had his first loss and got thoroughly beaten by an excellently performed ippon, but not before he had got a waza-ari – and his opponent only got in his winning move in the nick of time. Kakashi won his round, and was paired to fight against Gai's defeater. The fight was hard, but Kakashi managed to get his opponent by using a sacrificial throw and won.

Though he wouldn't admit it for his life, he suspected the reason he'd been able to beat him at all was because he'd been forced to face Gai beforehand.

The whole club celebrated their win, but was disappointed when they heard that Kakashi refused to continue to the State Championships, giving the honor to the second-placer instead.

Tenzo already knew that he wouldn't accept and respected that, though Gai was the only one who really understood why he didn't want to continue. As for the rest of the club members, he knew they might carry a slight grudge against him for a few weeks, but they'd forget about it soon enough.

Just the thought of going to state gave him shivers – the bad kind of shivers.

He had gone there once as an eleven-year old, and he strongly suspected it was sometime after this he developed this slight phobia he had of people and crowds. He had been traumatized for life. People had thrown themselves at the young genius he was, and everybody translated his 'no's to 'yes'. Gai had been there to cheer for him and in the middle of the event saved him by stealing him away from under the reporter's noses. He had realized the trouble Kakashi was in, cutting the grown-up's evil plans for him short. Kakashi had been dangerously close to being forced to sign a contract as a live-documentary TV-project.

Kakashi had sworn eternal friendship to him after that almost as passionately as Gai had sworn eternal rivalry to him a few years earlier, and that was the last time he _ever_ set a foot in any bigger competitions.

When he got home his muscles ached, but in a good way, and to celebrate their win Gai and Tenzo had a sleepover with him. Someway into the night Asuma and Genma also dropped by uninvited to take part of the fun – Kakashi strongly suspected Gai – and they ate pizza, drank beer and played TV-games until midnight when they fell asleep on the mattresses put out over the floor in Kakashi's living room.

 **o o o**

Something hit his stomach.

"Ow!"

It was dawn, a modest light creeping from the windows. Kakashi's yell woke the others who turned sleepy, tired eyes peering open to see what the commotion was about before they rolled over and went back to sleep again.

"Forgive me, sempai!"

Kakashi grunted something as he turned around on his stomach just in case somebody kicked him again. Five almost adult boys sharing tree mattresses was really far too little space. Kakashi felt how the mattresses had glided apart, making half his body rest on the hard floor between two of them instead of actually on them. Limbs where tangled everywhere and somebody's feet were far too close to his face. Kakashi wrinkled his nose at the smell and turned his face around, drifting to sleep again.

Some of the guys stirred and got up a few hours later. Kakashi lazily offered them to help themselves to whatever they found while he, Tenzo and Gai continued snoring long until long after noon, much more comfortingly now that they had one mattress per person at disposal.

* * *

 **This chapter is a little bit slow, I know. And no Obito. I miss him already. XD _A lot_ of things will happen in next chapter – and our beloved Obito will be back with a vengeance – so I hope to see you then! Thank you for all your support and if you have the time please leave a review! :)**


	7. Chapter 7 - Angry Heart

**New school is still really confusing, and because students are till registering to the school we've been told to return on Monday instead. (Same thing happened last week – it's crazy!) Anyway. It means I managed to get this chapter out to you guys a little earlier. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 7 - Angry Heart

* * *

University studies continued much like they had earlier. Kakashi got used to his new apartment and neighborhood, learned to know what to expect from different teachers and got in harmony pretty much with the other students. New bonds were tied, though none really to him because he didn't go out of his way to make friends, but rather the opposite. The buildings that had for the first days seemed like a labyrinth of new corridors and places had quickly became well known ground he could have found his way with his eyes closed in.

Sometimes he tried to imagine how his father had felt when he went here, but found himself unable to picture it.

Obito remained the same. He was close, but unreachable. Kakashi had given up on trying to make him talk to him for the time being – he'd felt encouraged by his father's grave, but the next time he'd tried to approach Obito and been ignored _again_ , he had quickly lost heart. If Obito didn't want to interact with him, then there wasn't really anything he could do about it. In fact, Kakashi didn't even have the right for force himself back into his life if Obito wanted to be left alone. He just hoped Obito wouldn't go and do something stupid and he kept his eyes and ears open, ready to step in if Obito attempted to do something reckless again.

Obito's supposed leadership to Akatsuki also gave him a valid reason to keep his distance for a while – he felt the need to observe the situation before he jumped into it.

Hopefully, an opportunity to speak to him would come naturally.

One day, half midterm, Kakashi missed his bus so he stayed longer. He was bored to death, because he had forgot his precious book in the locker and the university was closed. Now, this wouldn't normally have bothered him so much if it had been one of the old books, but this was a _new_ one, the one that Jiraiya had just sent to him. It was not sold in stores, and he had yet to finish it.

It was another twenty minutes before the bus would show up again. 15 hours and 32 minutes before the university opened again tomorrow and he could pick up at where he left off in the middle of an exciting chapter.

His boredom made him restlessly walk around the deserted school buildings.

When he passed a corner he saw something he wasn't supposed to see. Two of Obito's subordinates were beating up another kid. He recognized the blond immediately as the one he had found in an intimate position with Obito only a few weeks earlier. He wasn't sure, but he had heard that his name was Deidara. With him was a shorter guy with reddish hair and the two of them were beating up another – obviously much younger – redhead.

They were kicking someone even when he was already lying down. They were two against one. Even though all kept telling him to stay out of their business, Kakashi couldn't stand back and do nothing.

He grabbed the closest guy's arm – Deidara's – and jerked him back.

"Stop it."

Deidara pulled out of his grip with an ease that suggested he was a whole lot stronger than he looked. But it worked. Two pairs of eyes turned to him.

Kakashi glared at them. "I don't care what has happened or what the hell he's done to get on your bad side. He's down. It's enough. If you continue, I'll call the police."

The redhead on the ground winced, turned his head and looked at him through teal-colored eyes. Why, he was just a _kid_. He couldn't be older than seven – eight, at most. He had a tattoo on his forehead and Kakashi realized he probably was part of some other gang. It was sad really, that a child his age was already part of a criminal origination, but it wasn't uncommon. Kids in poor districts often got into gangs early, running errands for the older members… even if this boy did seem unusually young even for that. People rarely mistrusted children and they didn't pull as much attention to themselves – and when they did, they got off easier than older individuals. The boy didn't look scared, but rather passive, though there was a flicker of gratitude in his expression.

Kakashi turned back to face Deidara and his partner in crime, crossing his arms almost demonstratively. Akatsuki or not, he would not let either of them hurt the boy anymore, and that was final.

The two glanced at each other, a smirk pulling in Deidara's mouth. "Oh, will you really?"

They took a few steps closer to him. Kakashi wasn't defenseless, but he tensed. They were experienced street fighters while he had never fought with the intention to injure. They were Akatsuki, and might carry weapons. These two were different from anything he had been used to before – different from a controlled environment with fair rules inside the judo clubs, and it would be two against one. Kakashi had hoped he would manage to avoid a fight, but now that it became necessary, fight he would. He didn't have a black belt for nothing and the reason he learned judo in the first place was because he wanted to make a difference – like his father.

"Hey. You're the guy from that day, aren't you?" Deidara finally smirked in recognition. "I think I've seen you somewhere else before too. At a karate competition or something…" The smirk became wider, "Looks like we'll finally get some fun, un."

Dammit. They had seen him fight? He was clearly the one in disadvantage. Kakashi got into a fighting stance as one of them took a step closer to him, trying to analyze how to quickest take them out. If he managed to get them both in a good throw, it would be over. Only those taught how to fall correctly could handle that kind of throw and get up again; and here on the asphalt a forceful throw should be devastating even for the most pain-tolerant. He should probably attack first to avoid getting backed into a corner, but–

Suddenly the two stopped moving, their eyes focusing on someone behind him.

For some reason, Kakashi couldn't bring himself to turn around.

He stiffened when a hand was put on his shoulder.

"This one… he's mine." Obito's low voice sent a shiver down his spine. Even if Kakashi's brain couldn't seem to grasp the fact that Obito meant danger, his body certainly did.

"Fine, whatever," Deidara huffed, clearly disappointed but accepting his leader's order without a fuss.

"The others?" the shorter boy asked Obito.

"I took care of them. No one from that gang should bother us again."

"You know this guy?" said the redhead. He nodded at Kakashi.

"I have some… unfinished business with him," Obito said quietly in his ear. Kakashi tried to pull out of his grasp, but Obito wouldn't let him go.

"Get your hand off me. I need to check on the _boy_ your buddies beat up," he spit out. He was too angry to bother paying attention to Obito now, and it wasn't like Obito had wanted to have anything to do with him in forever. Gang business was bad enough as it was, but for almost full-grown men to beat down a little boy was on a whole new level of low. Sure, he didn't look as injured as Kakashi first had feared him to be, but that was something you just didn't do.

In an instant, Obito had turned him around and pushed him back against the school building. His eyes looked murderous and when they captured Kakashi's he couldn't seem to look away. Obito walked closer, pressing Kakashi's body up against the wall. His right leg pushed itself between Kakashi's legs and against his groin, giving him a feeling of déjà vu.

Kakashi bit back the choked sound of recognition.

"I am going to make you suffer…" his voice turned into a whisper only Kakashi could make out, and as he leaned closer he could feel his breath against his ear, "… _friend killer_."

Kakashi winced at the nickname.

"I'll break down your spirit… and when I'm done with you… you'll wish for death."

He let him go and walked away. Kakashi didn't realize he stood frozen; his back still pressed against the wall, until Deidara came and punched his arm to get his attention – a gesture that almost seemed friendly.

"I don't know how you got on Obito's bad side, but I feel kinda bad for you. You had guts and seemed like a half-decent guy, un. A word of advice though – do what he says, whatever he says. Don't resist."

"What?" He still hadn't recovered completely from Obito's unexpected threat. The air between them had been tense, sure, and he'd sometimes felt the anger hidden under Obito's calm surface and indifference towards him, but this turn had felt so sudden. Still feeling a bit shaky after the ordeal, he turned to the only source of information he had at the moment.

Deidara glanced at his friend. "Well, he's got a thing for control, un. Disobey him and things are bound to get really ugly."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Why would _you_ want to help me?"

"I don't. It's just that nobody deserves Obito's wrath. Sasori, my man, gonna show him the picture?"

"I don't care what happens to him," was the monotonic response.

"I want to see his face. He should know what he's dealing with."

"Whatever." Sasori took up his mobile phone and looked through a few pictures, before he reached his phone out for Kakashi to see. Kakashi had a feeling he did it to get Deidara off his back more than anything else. "This is what happened to someone who pissed Obito off."

Kakashi glanced at the picture of a person that, at first glance, looked like he might be sleeping… outside. It took a while before he realized it was a corpse, and felt ill. Kakashi couldn't understand why in hell he had that, even less that it actually was true – that Obito really had murdered someone.

"We take turns being scapegoats, in case the police interfere," Sasori said, as a way of explaining.

So then it was true, too – Obito had _killed_ someone. Kakashi had had his suspicious for a while now. Obito could act to violent, so ruthless, but he hadn't been able to believe it. But now… had he really…?

The knife… those weeks ago. If Kakashi hadn't been there… would he really have taken Zabuza's life?

Deidara snapped open his own phone and looked through few pictures, before he reached it out towards Kakashi again, an amused smirk playing at his lips. "This happens to someone who pissed Obito off and _then_ resist."

Kakashi wasn't sure he wanted to see anything more, but his eyes moved without his permission. What he saw made him fall to his knees as he closed his eyes and desperately tried to push the image out of his mind. He felt sick.

"Obito did that?" he choked out.

"Yeah," said Deidara. "He's pretty much the only one of us who actually enjoys killing people. Well, he and Hidan, but that guy's out of his mind. We others just help hiding evidence and that stuff, un. Of course, when Obito orders me to kill, I do it without hesitation. Going against him is suicide."

Deidara couldn't finish his sentence before the image Kakashi had tried to resist forced itself back into his mind and he threw up.

 _That corpse…_

What the hell had happened to Obito these last years? Had he turned into a demon?

His heart was beating hard and he was trembling.

It really was _too_ grotesque.

When he finally came back to his sentences much later, Sasori and Deidara had left without he had noticed. His legs felt unsteady so instead of standing up he sat leaned against the wall, glancing at the boy that for some reason unknown to him had suffered the wrath of the Akatsuki.

"Are you alright?" said Kakashi.

"I'm fine," said a surprisingly hoarse voice for such a small body. He stood up with some trouble and walked to Kakashi, giving him a hand up. He seemed… surprisingly old and mature for his age. He didn't act like a child.

"Gaara."

Realizing it was an introduction; he gripped the hand firmer and gave a shake. "Kakashi," he exchanged. "Maybe you should consider getting out of that gang while you can."

Gaara shook his head with a small, barely noticeable smile. "My older siblings joined. I need to protect them… as much as I can."

Huh. He joined because he wanted to keep his _older_ siblings safe? He must be an ancient soul.

"Maybe they'll consider getting out of it after today."

"Maybe," said Gaara with a small sigh. "Gangs aren't the easiest to get out of once you're in and I fear both my sister and brother like fighting way too much to stop."

"Fighting skills can be used to do good as well as to stir up trouble. With a criminal past, they ruin their chances for the future."

"I'll remind them." He turned away from him and looked on further ahead. "I just hope they're uninjured. Thank you… Kakashi, was it?"

"Yeah. And it's no problem. You should probably do something about that black-eye once you get home, though. And not to be rude, but as a word of advice – don't show your face around here again."

Gaara smiled – a very small smile, but a smile nonetheless. "I won't," he said. The boy then walked out of the area of Rainbrook University, disappearing behind a corner.

 **o o o**

Obito took his sweet time to fulfill his dark promise. After that encounter, after those words, and especially after seeing what Deidara and Sasori had showed him, Kakashi almost expected Obito to come at night when he slept and cut open his stomach open to slowly pull the insides out of his body, bit by bit him by tearing his organs apart.

It sounded ridiculous, and it _was_ ridiculous, but if what Deidara had said about Obito was true, he had reason to worry.

The image still haunted him.

For days, Kakashi lied in cold sweat at night, twisting and turning about what to do. In the morning when he went to the university, he felt that he might not survive the day to get home again. Time had never seemed so slow.

So it was a great anticlimax when a full week passed, Kakashi having stomach pains of anxiety, and nothing, absolutely _nothing_ , happened.

By the beginning of the next week, he had almost started hoping that it had just been empty words. Maybe Obito would choose to just keep on ignoring him. It seemed that once again, he couldn't be bothered by Kakashi and he didn't even glance at him on the rare occasions that they passed each other in the corridors.

That hope was crushed the following afternoon.

Kakashi was distracted, because he was in a hurry. Students crowded all around him as he tried to slip by bodies to get behind the physical barrier they proved to be. He moved closer to the side, finding it easier to move along the wall.

Then it happened – too fast for Kakashi to really react at all. He walked by a few locker rooms when one of them he'd just passed opened behind him. Strong arms grabbed him and pulled him inside, before the door closed, making everything pitch black.

Kakashi stumbled on something – a bucket, probably – and fell back against the wall. The small room smelled faintly of cleaning products.

Outside, the low sounds of talking and murmurings continued, feet waking, bodies being shoved as a classroom opened and students got inside. Nobody seemed to have noticed that he had gone missing, that he had been pulled away behind walls.

It was too dark to see anything, but Kakashi could hear two feet walking closer. For some reason he felt frozen in place, his heart beating a hundred miles an hour. He never really had pictured his death to be in a freaking school locker. He already felt bad for whoever was going to find his corpse.

He was over thinking things. Obito wouldn't really kill him…

He wanted to make him suffer first. Right. And that made him feel so much better. Kakashi felt at that moment, stronger than ever before, that he wanted to keep his insides very much, thank you.

The person stopped just before him but didn't say anything. A few very tension-filled seconds passed and Kakashi started to wonder if it really was Obito at all. It wasn't like he had time to actually take a good look at the guy when he was pulled in there.

His voice felt thick, and he had to swallow before he could speak.

"Obito?"

The person moved closer, slowly pressing his chest against Kakashi's and one of his thighs between his legs – a little too firmly for comfort.

Kakashi pulled in a sharp breath. The action shouldn't have been this familiar, but still was. Yes – it was Obito. Kakashi knew it. And he knew that Obito knew he knew now, too.

He was standing so close Kakashi could feel the scent of masculine shampoo lingering in his hair mixed with a faint undertone of something else – maybe some soap or aftershave or sweat – Kakashi wasn't sure because Obito was too _close,_ his heart was picking up speed and he couldn't think straight.

He knew that Obito could hear his shallow, irregular breathing, but he guessed he was about to die so it shouldn't make him feel self-conscious.

What was Obito's problem? Was he going to stand there until he intimidated him to death or what?

Kakashi tried to make a run for it. He shoved Obito away from him and dashed for the door, only the thinnest crack of light guiding him. It was locked, and his heart sunk to his stomach as muscular arms wrapped around his torso and pulled him back against a warm body.

The embrace made Kakashi's face heat up. He tried to undo Obito's grasp on him. That only made him grip Kakashi's hips and hold him closer to himself in what suddenly turned into a very intimate position.

Kakashi barely managed to hold back a yelp as he felt Obito's erection press against him.

Instantly, Kakashi froze completely.

One hand still keeping Kakashi in place, he heard a switch knife snap open and soon he felt the cool blade under his chin. Kakashi barely dared to breathe. He felt Obito exhale against his neck, the other's nose brushing against his skin. Kakashi shivered, his own breathing faltering as every muscle in his body flexed, ready to fight, flight, _freeze_ at the same time. Obito's fingers pressed, barely noticeably, harder into Kakashi's hipbone to remind him of who was in control – an unspoken warning against resisting.

They stood like that for a minute, Obito waiting for something or perhaps testing him while Kakashi was too scared to move, too alarmed to even beat himself up over being afraid of his best friend.

 _Former best friend_ , his mind reminded him bitterly. _The Obito you knew didn't hurt people._

Obito removed his knife and took a step forward, pressing Kakashi's chest up against the locked door and molding his own body firmer against Kakashi's. Kakashi's heart hammered hard in his chest, blood rushing in his ears. He couldn't even hear the people outside anymore, all he heard was the low thud of his own heartbeat. He needed to say something, _anything_ , but he found himself unable to speak. He couldn't think, couldn't make his lips move, and all that came out was a weak whimper.

He felt Obito smirk against the side of his neck.

Kakashi broke out in cold sweat.

A terribly long minute passed in which Obito did absolutely nothing. It felt like forever to Kakashi but he still couldn't speak or protest. He could feel the heat of Obito's body against him, the beat of his heart – almost disturbingly calm in contrast to Kakashi's own. The tension was smothering, his breaths sounding loud in the dead silence.

Then suddenly Obito let Kakashi go, swiftly unlocked the door with his penknife and walked away without a word, leaving Kakashi with a racing heart, weak knees and utterly confused mind.

He didn't even know what to think but he wasn't so stupid to not realize that this had been a demonstration of power. Obito could have killed him, could have raped him or really done whatever he wanted, and he had only let him go because he felt like it.

Because he still wanted to play with him.

Suddenly Kakashi felt ill.

Still shaking slightly, he left the locker and went to his lecture that had already begun, muttering a lame excuse nobody believed when he walked in late and sat down. The lesson was two hours long but to Kakashi it passed fast even though he didn't listen to a word his teacher said and didn't get anything done at all, staring blankly at the paper he was supposed to write something on. He copied the words written on the board mechanically without reading them.

The class ended, and Gai jogged up to him when they walked outside. "Hey, are you alright? You've seemed… a bit out of it this week, and you look pale."

Kakashi didn't want Gai caught up in any of this and he definitely didn't want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. "I'm fine," he said grumpily.

Gai either failed to pick up on his tone or let it slip.

They walked out in the school grounds and instantly Kakashi's eyes were pulled towards the Uchiha who was standing across the parking lot with some of his gang-members.

Obito looked up and caught his eyes.

He smirked.

Kakashi felt panic well up in his body and quickly broke eye-contact, hurrying to board the bus.

He really needed to cool down, but damn, had Obito caught him off guard with all this. He shouldn't react this strongly. Sure, Obito obviously needed metal help, but Kakashi already knew that, and Obito already had made it clear he was going to make Kakashi's life difficult so he shouldn't have been so unprepared – but he hadn't expected something like _this_.

He just needed to get home, calm down and get this thing under control instead of just be toyed around with in the game Obito had created.

The problem was that what Deidara and Sasori had shown him wasn't out of his mind. Obito was unstable and he was dangerous and part of him was only rational for feeling fear. But fear wouldn't help him – what he needed was a way to get through to Obito, because Kakashi refused to believe that he wasn't still in there, refused to believe that he truly was lost. All Kakashi needed to do was to dig out the boy with the big heart who was hiding and hurting inside the cold sociopath.

Kakashi needed to be alone, needed to think. He had to find a way to handle this. "I'm not coming to practice today," he muttered to Gai as he walked off the bus.

For once, Gai didn't argue with him about neglecting his training.

* * *

 **And so the relationship between Kakashi and Obito has been kick-started…. And it will only continue to develop from here on. If you've got the time, I'd love to heart what you think of the chapter. Hopefully we'll see each other again next week! :D**


	8. Chapter 8 - Advancements

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 8 – Advancements

* * *

Obito was absent from college for a few days. Most likely he was busy with other things, but to Kakashi it felt like he waited simply to unsettle him. Whatever reason he had, it succeeded in draining him mentally because he knew he'd come, but not what he'd do, or when or where to expect him.

However, Kakashi couldn't possibly think of Obito all the time and he soon got dragged along in Gai's sudden desire of matchmaking.

It was like this: Asuma was in love with Kurenai. It was a commonly known fact. It was an equally accepted knowledge that Kurenai had a thing for Asuma. No one had any proof, nobody had gotten them to confess their interest in each other, but the entire university knew it. Still, somehow, they never seemed to get together.

Sure, Genma occasionally pushed Asuma out in front of Kurenai so they almost crashed into each other in the corridors; like the kind, helpful friend he was, and Kakashi could almost swear he heard them flirting from time to time. Never obviously, and sometimes he thought maybe he'd imagined it, but there were these subtle hints – Kurenai would let her fingers linger when she touched Asuma's arm to get his attention or empathize on something she said, Asuma would gaze after her one second too long when she walked away, and sometimes it simply were the way they smiled at each other. But it had been like that throughout the entire high school as well, and now when they were in college still nothing seemed to happen or change between them.

It was time for some advancement in their friend's love life, or so Gai had decided, and he'd brought Kakashi, Genma and Tenzo along with him on the ride. Personally, Kakashi couldn't bother less. They'd get together sooner or later (or they wouldn't) and it was as simple as that. But Gai could be very persistent and it wasn't worth the bother in this case to try to stay out of it, not when Gai was so fired up.

Gai had made Asuma and Kurenai go to a café, making them think they'd meet and hang out there with their old friends from Konoha High. However, the plan had been all long to bail out on them by word of text at the last possible minute. Genma was to catch an unexpected cold, while Gai, Kakashi and Tenzo had 'forgotten' a judo event they had to attend.

In reality, they would all spy on them, of course.

The café Gai had picked out had large windows, with a good hiding spot nearby, and he had even managed to place a sound-recorder linked to his mobile phone in the pocket of Asuma's jacket.

The four friends were just getting seated in the bush, and though it _was_ an excellent hiding place, it was not so comfortable. They barely managed to get in among the thorny branches before Kurenai arrived, a little early. She walked into the café and picked out an empty table that showed well from their view – but then again, so did most tables – and sat down. She tapped idly at her smartphone. Around ten minutes later Asuma showed up, too.

Kurenai took off her headphones and smiled. "Hello, Asuma," they heard her say from Gai's phone. The sound rasped a little, but thankfully the café was rather empty and silent, so they could clearly make out her voice among the other, lower, murmurings in the background. "You've heard any of the others?"

"Yeah," said Asuma, taking a seat in front of her. "Genma just SMS:ed me. It seems he's caught ill."

"But Kakashi and the others should be here soon, right? Do you have any idea what Gai wanted to meet us for?" said Kurenai.

Asuma shook his head. "No clue. Knowing him, it could be anything."

Gai grinned and started writing on his phone, and a mere second later, Kurenai picked up hers.

"Oh," she said.

"What is it?"

Kurenai put her smartphone back in her pocket. "Gai says their dojo has an open day for new kids – a try-out or something – and they had to help, so they can't meet us."

Asuma's eyes twinkled with humor as he leaned closer to her. "You know," he said, "if they hadn't had such good reasons, I'd almost think they were trying to get us alone."

"...he sounds kind of sound suspicious," Kakashi mused. The others ignored him.

Kurenai picked up a lipstick and applied it in almost a bored fashion. "It does, doesn't it?"

"I can't help but wonder why?" said Asuma.

"Well… there have been rumors about us, after all," said Kurenai.

Kakashi wasn't sure, but it almost seemed like Asuma's eyes flicked to their position. But it wasn't possible that he'd see them – they were too well hidden behind leaves – courtesy to Gai's splendid idea. It was effective, Kakashi had to admit, but hardly dignified.

"Should we part and pick a new date with the others?" said Asuma.

"Idiot," Genma hissed vehemently – by now, even he was getting interested in their conservation. "I _know_ you like her." Gai nodded vigorously.

"No, let's order something. It would be rude to come in here and just leave."

Asuma smiled. "Yeah, you're right."

The waitress took their orders, and Asuma and Kurenai mingled while waiting for their coffee. They talked just about some meaningless, boring things; like school assignment and–

Wait. Did Asuma just touch her hand? Or did he not? Kakashi wasn't sure from here. It didn't sound like they were flirting, though, but they _were_ smiling a lot at each other.

"...so," Asuma said, stirring his coffee. "Is there anyone you're interested in?"

Kakashi and Genma had to throw themselves over Gai to hold him down so he didn't jump up from the bush to high-five Asuma for asking that question. All four of them leaned in closer and sat silent, silent, listening for Kurenai's answer.

"Well…" she said, playing coyly with her dark curls. She glanced up at him through long eyelashes and everyone outside sat on pins and needles.

"She's SO interested even if she plays–"Gai covered Gemna's mouth and Tenzo hushed him.

"…there is someone," she said. The mobile made an ominous raspy sound, making the guys outside hold their breaths. However, when Kurenai spoke again, the little recorded seemed to have recovered. "I've known him for quite some time but only recently have I started to see him… differently."

"Oh?"

"I'm afraid you'll laugh at me…"

"Oh, come on," Genma muttered. "Spit it out already."

"I'd never laugh at you, Kurenai," said Asuma.

"Well, I'll tell you then." Kurenai took a deep breath. A few seconds passed. "I… It's… It's Gai."

Three nineteen-year olds choked on nothing outside, the fourth one's eyes widened in shocked horror.

"You can't believe how happy I was when he asked me for my number the other day," she continued, like she just _hadn't_ turned the entire world upside down. "He's a bit… individual, I know, but aren't we all? I find it sweet. And damn, those muscles… can you imagine what stamina he must have in bed?"

Genma turned blue. Tenzo muffled a chuckle. Even Kakashi knew he looked severely disturbed.

"I must admit, Kurenai, that I had my suspicions. You've been talking so much about him lately…"

"Wha- what?" Gai wined pathetically, seriously lacking in his trademark youthful persona.

"It is that obvious?" she asked. "Do you think anyone else suspects it?"

"Don't worry. We've know each other for so long, that's all."

"Yeah." Kurenai laughed, notably eased. "You're like the brother I never had, after all."

Brother? Ouch. Kakashi winced. Now, if anything, that was _really_ a hit below the belt. Poor Asuma.

"No," Gai said, teary-eyed. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"Do you think I stand a chance?" said Kurenai.

"I can't believe it," Kakashi said, flabbergasted. "No offense, Gai."

"No offense taken," Gai whimpered. Kakashi patted him awkwardly on his back. The turn of events seemed to hurt him like physical pain. But neither Kurenai nor Asuma showed him any mercy.

"I don't know if Gai have considered you that way, but maybe you could try spending time with him training?" Asuma suggested.

Kurenai's eyes brightened. "I don't know if I could keep up with him, but I'll try! I may not look it, but I'm actually quite well-trained, and I've got good grades at P.E… And maybe… if I wear green spandex…" she looked away, blushing.

"God," Kakashi gasped. "Please, no."

Genma was still speechless. Tenzo was red from lack of oxygen – he'd held his breath for an impressive period of time to keep from laughing.

Gai slammed his head into the ground. "I cannot return her youthful affections!" he wailed. He was deeply distressed, but seemed to recover from the worst shock. Tears streamed down his face. "Will I break her fragile, womanly heart; have to crush the love blossoming in her chest? And what about Asuma's bright flame for Kurenai? Will this smother it forever? You cannot lose heart, my friend!"

Women could be fickle and hard to read, but Kakashi had really thought Kurenai did return Asuma's feelings. Like Gai, he felt bad about this, and very sorry for Asuma, because he had suspected he might feel something deeper for her than most did their age. Kurenai's confession must have hurt like a slap in his face, even if he did conceal it very well.

"What about you, Asuma? Do you like anyone?" Kurenai asked, seemingly unknowing of the sudden commotion she'd started among the bushes outside.

Asuma looked down into the table, and his hand covered his face. "Yes," he said. They couldn't see his expression.

"Well?" Kurenai pressed.

Outside, the tension was eating them alive. What was Asuma going to say? There was a moment of silence, and then;

"It's Kakashi."

Gai's jaw dropped.

This time, Tenzo couldn't choke back his chuckle.

Kakashi felt all blood leave his face.

"He is good-looking, so I fully understand you," was Kurenai's comment.

Genma seemed freed from the spell he had been put under and laughed with Tenzo, clutching his stomach. He hit Kakashi's arm. "Hear, you're good-looking, 'kashi," he choked out between laughs. "Asuma wa-wants–"

"If you finish that sentence, it _will_ be your death."

Genma was wise enough to shut up.

"Most of the girls I knew crushed on him at least once," Kurenai said, though at this moment Kakashi could barely find it in him to listen. The reason Asuma had said his name _must_ because he hadn't known how to answer Kurenai's question, and so he'd blurted out the first name that came to mind. Yep. He didn't want Kurenai to feel bad, and to confess his love to her would have been wrong timing – at the same time, he must have been nervous, and under the pressure to give her an answer he had said a name randomly. That had to–

"He's adventurous too, so getting him interested in BDSM might not be too difficult."

" _What!?_ " Kakashi croaked out.

Was _Asuma_ into BDSM?

Both Tenzo and Genma were laughing so hard that tears came from their eyes, and they were squirming like tortured worms on the ground. Gai still looked brokenhearted that his youthful matchmaking plan had gone out the window and left with the wind.

"Do you think he has guessed I'm gay?" they heard Asuma say.

"No," Kurenai said. "He hadn't got a clue. But my friend told me that an acquaintance of hers had heard someone say he might be bi, so at least you've got a chance."

If Kurenai knew he was into BDSM... and took it for granted that Asuma was gay, then for all he knew Asuma really _could_ be interested him – because Kakashi had never even once suspected he'd be into kinky stuff… or into other guys. What if Asuma just had let them believe he was interested in Kurenai to keep up cover?

"No, no, no, _no_ ," said Kakashi shaking his head. He started to scramble out of the bush. He didn't want to hear more. He wanted to go home. This was making his head hurt, and if it continued he might throw up. He felt he had got a distinctive greenish tint in his face.

"You're right. It's not as it was in high school when I was in love with Genma," said Asuma.

Genma's laughter came to an abrupt halt.

"Yeah. You crushed pretty hard on him once. But he's straight as a ruler. It's good for you you're interested in Kakashi now. But what do you think about Tenzo? Isn't he just _adorable_?"

Asuma took a swing of his coffee. "I'd do him."

Tenzo made a strangled noise.

"In fact, I've got this really weird fetish that– "

Kakashi paled even further. He needed to stop this, or Tenzo would be traumatized for life.

They all would be.

"Turn it off!" he hissed, snapping after Gai's phone desperately. Gai didn't try to defend it – he just sat lifeless with it in his hand. Kakashi managed to grab it, but not to turn off the sound before they heard Kurenai finish Asuma's sentence.

"Diapers, I know."

Kakashi's head jerked up to their table, and he saw Asuma's lips twitch.

"Right."

Asuma tried to keep a straight face in vain. Moments later Kurenai collapsed on the table in giggles – a minute later both laughed so hard they gasped for air. Asuma dug up the recorder from his pocket and put it on the table with some bills. They left the café together, Asuma's hand around Kurenai's waist, both still grinning like idiots.

It took a few minutes before Kakashi and his friends were able to collect themselves enough to go home.

The next day, Asuma confessed that he and Kurenai had been going out for almost two years now, and though he sometimes brought their spying attempt up to tease them, the others never spoke of it again.

Needless to say, they never tried to eavesdrop on Asuma and Kurenai's conversations anymore.

 **o o o**

It was the end of the week, and Kakashi sat peacefully and ate with Gai, Asuma and Tenzo during lunch break. They'd finally gotten over the embarrassment Asuma's presence brought, because falsehoods or not, what he had said _had_ been severely disturbing. Especially Tenzo had squirmed whenever Asuma sat down next to him the days after the café incident, which only had brought a humored smirk to the older boy's lips. But now, it seemed, everything was finally back to normally.

It was then Obito and his gang came up to them.

Obito looked down on them like they were insects or something of equal value. He uttered one word.

"Move."

They looked between each other. Asuma was the one who stood up first. "Let's go," he said. "It's not worth it. We'll find another place." Gai and Tenzo stood up too, but when Kakashi attempted to follow suit, a pair of hands were put on his shoulders.

"You'll stay."

Gai narrowed his eyes at Obito. "Kakashi– "

"I'll be fine."

"My rival! I can't leave you like this! Let me– "

"Gai. Go. This doesn't have anything to do with you. I'll find you later." When Gai still hesitated Kakashi added a softer, "Please." Gai knew he wanted to speak to Obito and hadn't got the chance to. He saw him giving in.

"If that is what you want…"

"It is." The least he needed was Obito to hold a grudge against his friends. He really hoped that Obito wouldn't get the idea to harm them to try to get to him. Of course he wouldn't allow Obito to lay as much as one finger on any of them, but precaution was better than to let the problem surface in the first place.

"I'll see you later, then." Gai flashed him a reassuring smile and Kakashi found himself smiling back despite the threatening situation.

Obito sat down next to him, Deidara and Sasori in front of them. Hidan sat down next to Deidara and the creepy-looking guy with wild hair and piercing green eyes sat down in front of his friend, on the other side of Obito. Kakashi recognized him as the one to stop the Hidan from… whatever he was thinking of doing when Kakashi had irritated him by bothering Obito all those weeks ago in the beginning of the school year. He was quite infamous among the rest of his students. His name was what? Kakuzu?

"Hey, karate-boy," Deidara greeted.

"It's judo," he said dully. He wasn't exactly sure of what attitude he was supposed to have towards Deidara. He couldn't say he liked him, in fact, he could barely stand him. But he had tried to help or something – probably – so Kakashi should at least try to act decent towards him even if his smirks got on his nerves.

Deidara and Sasori got into a discussion about art. The green-eyed, intimidating guy was silent, and Hidan was talking nonstop to him even though it seemed Kakuzu was not in the least listened to hear what he said – he didn't even bother to attempt to appear as if he was listening. Kakashi was silent. There was no use trying to speak to Obito when others were there. He had rather had lost his appetite, but finished his food as quickly as possible to get a reason to leave.

"Excuse me."

Obito put his hand over Kakashi's thigh and pushed him back into his seat. Kakashi got the hint and stayed seated. In the corner of his eye Kakashi saw Obito throw him a side look. He drank up the rest of his soft drink and with a flick of his hand he tossed away the empty can. Kakashi bit his tongue to not scold him about littering out of an old, deep-seated habit; and he tried to pretend that it didn't bother him. Not caring wasn't as hard as it once used to be.

"Fetch," said Obito.

Kakashi glanced at him. Seeing the not so pleasant smile on his lips, Kakashi realized that yes, Obito was speaking to him and he actually had the nerve to order him around not only out in the open, but also to do something as stupid as to give him back a can he had just tossed.

What kind of twisted humor did he have? Obito… he was just fucking with him _again_.

The gang leader turned to him with a mocking tilt of his head. "Going to disobey me, Kakashi?"

Kakashi pressed his teeth together. It wasn't worth it. Getting Obito on his bad side (even more than he already was) wasn't worth it, not over something like this. Obito had several of his subordinates here, something that made it even more embarrassing for Kakashi to do what Obito had told him to since they watched him, but they also posed as a threat Obito could easily use against him with a few words or gestures.

Kakashi stood up, walked to where the can lay and picked it up, handing it back to Obito with a neutral expression as he sat down again. With a small smirk, Obito threw it away again.

"Fetch."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. _Why_ was he so childish and immature? He was dangerous but he acted like a spoiled brat, making Kakashi want more than anything to just to take up and leave. But he knew he couldn't do that. Obito _was_ dangerous even if he didn't seem to be at the moment.

One look into Obito's cold eyes told Kakashi that he was dead serious.

With as much dignity as the situation allowed, Kakashi brought the can back to Obito for a second time, knowing what was coming the moment he sat down again. Hopefully, Obito would just tire of it already.

The can clinked into the floor.

"Fetch."

Exhaling slowly to keep his calm, Kakashi did, this time not bothering to sit down after handing Obito the can.

Obito cocked his head backwards and looked at him. "Sit."

It figured.

Kakashi sat down next to Obito again.

The can flew through the air and landed by another table few yards away. Some students threw irritated looks their way, but when they recognized Obito they quickly turned back again and minded their own business.

Obito let his elbow rest on the table and leaned his head against his hand as black eyes bored themselves into Kakashi's.

"Fetch."

Kakashi's fingers gripped into his chair. He broke eye contact, looking down with a glare into the empty plate in front of him. _Why_ wouldn't Obito just let him go already?

Obito leaned closer. "Kakashi…" His lips ghosted over the shell of his ear. "…go get it." His voice turned darker at the end of his sentence, perfectly conveying the unspoken punishment that awaited him if he didn't follow orders.

So Kakashi fetched the can again. And again. And again, until Obito finally was content with his 'obedience' training and gave him permission to leave for class.

Kakashi walked away, blood boiling angrily in his veins, and only when he was out of Obito's sight did he allow himself to curse, his foot connecting hard enough to leave a dent in a trash bin.

 **o o o**

After that time, Obito approached him almost daily. He turned sitting next to Kakashi at lunch hours into a habit and seemed quite fond of making him run meaningless errands. He would usually come when Kakashi was sitting somewhere and sit down by his side as if to simply remind him that he was _there_ , and that Kakashi better not forget it.

It didn't take long for Kakashi to come to realize that Obito's hand on his leg was him asking him to stay. No. Rather, it was an order to stay put until Obito gave him permission to go.

Sometimes he would come just to put his hand over his thigh and then leave. Kakashi was apparently supposed to stay until Obito came back and freed him. Once again, it was all a demonstration of power. It was as if Obito wanted to remind him that even such a simple action like that could control his life.

Kakashi had never been this late to his classes before.

He had never before wanted this badly to sling Obito far out into the ocean, either.

One day, Kakashi was waiting for the bus and Obito sat down by him. When his bus came, several students threw him compassionate glances – glances Kakashi _hated_. People were catching on to what was happening, but no one dared do anything. Gai had wanted to, but Kakashi forbid him. He just wanted them all to go back to minding their own business – he didn't need their pity.

Once the bus left, Obito gave him a small nod to tell him he was free again and drove away on his motorcycle. Kakashi had to wait half an hour before the next bus came.

Thankfully, Obito hadn't yet gotten the idea to separate Kakashi from his books and time passed quite fast while reading Icha Icha. But Kakashi frustration grew and he couldn't fully settle into the story. It irked him that Obito made him stay for no reason. At the same time, he felt helpless because he had seen what Obito could do and it wasn't pretty things.

At night he dreamt.

 _"You promised that you would protect her."_

 _"I did my best!"_

 _"You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."_

 _"Please, I tried!"_

 _"I saved you and this is how you repay me? You let her die!"_

 _"No!"_

 _"Look at your hands, you killer!"_

 _Kakashi looks down. They are covered in blood._

 _Obito's voice is dark, furious._

 _"I will never forgive you."_

Maybe one of the reasons Kakashi never put up any real fight was because he still, to some degree, felt guilty. The nightmares always reminded him of the one thing he could never hope to repay Obito, about how he was the one who had crushed him, make him like this in the first place.

Things hadn't always been like this.

Kakashi first met Obito and Rin in grade one. Obito and Rin had lived in the same neighborhood all their lives and started kindergarten together. Their parents knew each other and were childhood friends, so they often got to meet.

Kakashi came from the city – from Amegakure. When his father committed suicide the torn boy moved to his grandfather on the countryside of the small town Konoha and started in Obito and Rin's class the second year of school.

Though wildly admired, he fit in nowhere. Maybe that was because he shut people out. He refused to get to know anybody; he had no desire to make any friends. Not even his own grandfather, his last remaining family, was given any chances of getting closer to him. He was patronizing and sometimes straight out rude to anyone who was less talented than him, and as the top student in class, that meant pretty much everybody else. But mostly, he just did his best to just keep to himself. He didn't want to speak with people at all unless he needed to.

Rin was one of his admirers, and she fell head over heels for the intelligent and ever so mysterious boy that almost always kept his cool. There were times when he lost it though, and it always seemed to be when he was around Obito. Even from the beginning, they were like oil and water and never got along. Obito's mere existence seemed to irk him from day one. But Rin stayed close to Kakashi who was new and alone in the class, and Kakashi didn't mind her company that much, since she never required anything from him in return. Unlike the others, she wasn't easily scared off. Maybe on some subconscious level she realized how lonely he was, that he needed somebody but refused to let anyone in. She laughed off Kakashi's underhanded insults, and her nature was so kind that not even Kakashi could be too hard on her. He thought ignoring her would be enough, but it wasn't – not for Rin.

Actually – though he denied it to even himself for the longest time – he quickly grew quite fond of the brunette.

Naturally Obito stayed close to Rin to make sure Kakashi wouldn't try anything with her, and that meant he stayed close to Kakashi, as well. Already at that age, everyone knew that Obito had fallen head over heels for the Nohara girl.

When Obito finally figured he wasn't getting rid of Kakashi anytime soon, he began an unofficial rivalry with him. The two always fought. Obito did it for Rin's love, Kakashi for the fun of outsmarting and winning over Obito time and time again. Mostly though; they just beat each other up – or rather; Obito attacked him and got turned into a bloody pulp by Kakashi. Eventually, without really noticing it – maybe even without either of them wanting to – they became friends.

Obito had looked up to Kakashi. In a way, Kakashi was Obito's goal. He was what Obito wanted to be. He had Rin's affection; he had intelligence and was so god damn good at everything. To Obito, he soon became known as 'Bakakashi'.

Obito amused Kakashi. He found him annoying but at the same time he admired Obito's big heart and his devotion for his friends and classmates. He envied that Obito dared to show emotions – that he _could_ show emotions – envied and hated it at the same time. And so Kakashi nicknamed him 'Crybaby'.

When Obito got to know that Kakashi took judo classes, he soon started it too. He would challenge Kakashi over and over again, but Kakashi always beat him. Kakashi trained harder than he ever had before, because if the day ever came when Obito won over him, he could never live it down. And Obito _was_ improving in a rate that worried Kakashi, even if he didn't notice it himself.

At summers they would go camping for days in the woods, just the three of them. They'd ride their bikes to a lake close-by to swim. As they grew older, Obito's puppy-love for Rin only grew stronger, turning into nothing less than a first love. He adored Rin. At the same time though, Rin's affection for Kakashi slowly grew more sincere, her feelings more genuine and mature, less and less based on the shallow things that caught her young eye.

As the sole person in the trio not clouded by a stubbornly persistent infatuation with anyone else, Kakashi sometimes had an uncomfortable feeling that he one day sooner or later would get in the way – that he _was_ in the way. More than anyone else, he was painfully aware of the love-triangle he was caught in. He feared it would one day break them apart and ruin their friendship, and that thought hurt because by now Obito and Rin had become his closest friends, his _only_ friends, and they were the two most important people in his life.

However, Obito never seemed to hold any resentment for Kakashi for being Rin's source of attention. Jealousy flamed up sometimes, yes, but it flashed like an explosion and then it was gone – their fights were nothing new, and didn't always have to do with Rin, either. Fighting and arguments were just an unavoidable part of their friendship, of how they interacted, and no matter how much Rin tried she never managed to stop that completely. Kakashi and Obito _enjoyed_ their fights. Though it was something that often lingered in the back of his mind, Obito and Rin's affections ever became a problem – maybe because neither had the courage to act on them. In fact, as the time passed by, their bond only grew closer. Obito helped Kakashi get over the loss of his father and he was the only person he ever told the truth about his father's death. Not even Rin got to know that.

Rin and Obito slowly unfroze him, but it was first after that day by the lake – they'd watched the sunset, just him and Obito, and he'd spilled his heart – that he truly began to open up, live like a child again instead of an adult in miniature version.

While Kakashi did understand Obito's feelings, maybe he didn't realize to what extent they went.

He never would have believed that by losing Rin, he'd lose Obito too.

* * *

 **I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes I might have made. If you see any, please let me know so I can fix it! (Preferably what word/s rather I've misspelled rather than just a comment without any leads for me to go on.) Thank you for all your lovey reviews and the kind feedback I've received. Hopefully I'll see you next week again – a more slashy chapter is promised by next update – and until then, let me know what you think of this chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9 - Thumbs and Promises Broken

**I apologize for the delay, you guys. My Wi-Fi connections have been nonexistent for days, so I'm late answering mails and if I haven't replied to your reviews you know why. Thank you all for your support, I really appreciate it a lot!**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 9 – Of Thumbs and Promises Broken

* * *

It was late in November, and all leaves had fallen off the trees when Obito once again ordered him to stay after a late lecture. Wide puddles covered any depression in the ground, and splashed as students walked through the shallow water. When the bus drove away, leaving them alone and the college grounds deserted, Obito stood up.

"Follow me."

Kakashi did. By this time, he was getting used to Obito ordering him around, and doing what Obito asked him to do was usually the quickest way to get on with life. Kakashi had tried to put up some resistance once, just to see what would happen – and Obito had sent four of his men on him.

He had treated it mostly as one of his games, watching Kakashi fight them while giving him taunting advice on how to do it better if he wanted to survive in a real street fight – he had just been mocking him, really. Four against one was too much, and eventually Kakashi realized Obito was just getting kicks out of seeing him growing tired and getting more and more beat up, so he gave up fighting, refusing to entertain Obito anymore.

When he stopped defending himself, Deidara had taken on the pleasure of pressing Kakashi's head into the ground in front of Obito with one of his arms twisted behind his back. It had been embarrassing – _humiliating_ – and Kakashi had been boiling with anger, something he had tried to hide with out-most effort since that would only give Obito even more sick satisfaction. The event had gotten him quite an impressive number of bruises, but Kakashi had a feeling Obito's had told them to go easy on him, because he hadn't been seriously injured. That had only added to his frustration.

Obito led him towards the P.E. building. He dug in his pocket for a key he most likely wasn't supposed to have, unlocked the door to the guys' changing room and walked in. After Kakashi had followed him he locked the door again from the inside.

Kakashi switched on the light, turning to Obito as he stuck his hands into his pockets.

"So, what do you want?" he said, trying to appear casual. This was, in fact, unnerving him. Though he'd wished to speak to Obito privately, he didn't like the idea of being all alone with him at the moment – even less behind locked doors.

Obito furrowed his eyebrows at him, before he turned and walked deeper into the building and sat down on one of the benches in the middle of the changing room.

His eyes turned to Kakashi again. "Sit in my lap."

Kakashi froze.

 _Not this again._

"I'm… heavy."

"Kakashi…." Eyes narrowed dangerously. "Do it."

Uncertain, Kakashi walked closer to him.

"I want you to face me," Obito told him when he hesitated.

Swallowing back a lump in his throat, Kakashi put one leg on each side of Obito's knees and sat down, his face pink with embarrassment.

"Closer."

Kakashi shifted a little and Obito growled, annoyed, before he put his hands over Kakashi's ass and pulled him against himself, pressing their groins together.

Kakashi's face flamed red.

"Look at me."

Kakashi did, his gaze wavering a little when he met Obito's eyes so close to himself. He could feel him exhale against his face, his own breath mingling with Obito's. Something stirred beneath him, and Kakashi was about to jump off when he felt him grow hard, but Obito stopped him, his hands grabbing Kakashi's buttocks roughly, holding him in place.

Okay. So that was twice. He had tried to ignore it the first time, but obviously Obito found something about him that turned him on (or maybe he just found domination arousing) and while Kakashi felt that he should be able to twist and turn that knowledge into finding a solution to how to bring Obito back to his old, usual self, in the end all he had was that simple fact and it made him uncomfortable. It felt so weird and wrong and it made his heart beat hard.

Obito watched him closely; he seemed to feed on Kakashi's nervousness, enjoy his discomfort. He leaned back against the wall, the motion making his election shift and press harder against him. Kakashi squirmed, fighting against every fiber in his body that told him to run away. Obito wouldn't let him, anyway, and trying to would only irritate him.

Also, Obito's sharp features were disturbingly attractive up this close.

"So, how are things?"

Was Obito seriously trying to make small talk? Now? After all the times Kakashi had tried to strike up a conservation with him and been ignored. It figured.

"Um. Good, I guess..." Now that Obito finally was ready to listen to him he had the opportunity to say something – something that would me a difference – but Kakashi couldn't seem to _think_. He wished he'd thought more exactly of what he should say to persuade Obito to stop this madness, because now his head felt blank.

"Really. I guess I'm doing a bad job, then."

"Not particularly."

Obito chuckled, but it was without any happiness. He distantly took Kakashi's hand in his and started pushing his pinky back with his thumb, slowly increasing the pressure. "How are my parents?"

Kakashi tried not so wince as his finger was slowly pushed beyond its normal rage of movement. "Good. But they miss their son. They…" Kakashi hissed out in pain when his finger was bent back in an unnatural position. "They worry about… him."

"Oh."

Kakashi's finger popped and he was forced bit his teeth together hard to not shout out in pain. Seeing this, Obito smiled and started pulling his disconnected finger back again. Kakashi sucked in a sharp breath.

"You are right handed, are you not?"

"Uh." Kakashi didn't even know if he should answer that question. "No," he said. "Left-handed."

Obito barely looked at him as he reached for Kakashi's right hand and bent his thumb backwards.

"Liar."

His thumb stained and when it broke Kakashi was in so much pain he barely heard the sickly sound of the bone cracking. When Obito finally let his hand go, it was throbbing with pain.

"The years… they have done you good, Kakashi."

"What?" he hissed.

"I mean…" Obito lifted his hand to caress Kakashi's face. Kakashi started, looked up from his hands, his eyes meeting Obito's. Fingers traced the hairline, his jaw, and Obito's thumb stroked his cheek. "…you're not half bad-looking."

Kakashi's face heated up.

A sudden darkness passed through Obito's orbs, making his skin prickle. Obsidian eyes roamed over his features, the gaze so heavy it could almost be felt as a caress. "I'm glad…." Obito added, "Breaking beautiful things are just so much more fun."

Something in his voice unnerved him.

"Obito– "

"It's not very interesting to put out a flame with water. It's much more…. pleasing, to put a glass over the candle. Watch it suffocate slowly. See the last, desperate attempt it makes to stay alive before it smothers, and the light dies out. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I get it," Kakashi gritted through tight-pressed teeth. "You hate my guts and want me to suffer."

"That about covers it. Humor me and I'll let you live… at least for a while. When you stop doing as I say… it's over." Obito leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Of course you _could_ always commit suicide if you want to get away from me earlier than that… but we both know you won't take the same way out as your father did..."

Kakashi winced. Obito was the only one in the world that Kakashi had told the truth about what had happened with his father and it hurt that he would use that knowledge – the trust Kakashi had put in him – against him now.

"It wouldn't make it as fun for me, either…" Obito continued, "Besides, you're determined to make me change my mind, however useless your attempts might be. The only logical thing for you to do is to follow my orders to give you time."

Kakashi didn't answer him.

Obito leaned back and started playing with his fingers again. He tugged at his sore thumb, watching him almost lazily, only a hint of a predatory gleam giving him away. Kakashi bit into his lower lip until the skin broke, refusing to make any more audible proof of his pain. It didn't work. When Obito cracked his ring finger, he groaned and pressed his head against the wall behind Obito's shoulder.

Obito grabbed his hair and pulled him back roughly. "Don't do that," he growled.

Kakashi gasped at the smart of pain as his hair-roots were tugged back. The cold, calm voice suddenly losing control and turning into a low, angry snarl made him shiver, and with Obito so close, he knew it didn't go unnoticed.

Surprisingly, his reaction seemed to calm the unstable gang-leader. A smirk grew on his lips and his head dropped – lips ghosting over his neck. "I want to see your face," he whispered, his voice turning husky. "Didn't you know? You're the most attractive when you're in agony ..."

"S-stop it."

"Don't move." Obito let his nose graze along Kakashi's jaw. His tongue darted out and he licked away a drop of blood that had run down his chin – and followed its trail up to his lower-lip. Kakashi stiffened and his breath halted until Obito pulled back again. "I guess you can go," Obito hadn't even finished his sentence before Kakashi were out of his lap, "but you can't take the bus."

"What?"

"You'll have to walk home."

"But that would take forever and I– "

Obito stood up. "Does it look like I care?"

"Obi–"

"Walk. Or suffer the consciences."

 **o o o**

When he got home, it was dark outside. He couldn't sleep very well, not even after using ice to ease the swelling on his fingers. The day after his thumb was still very swollen and throbbing with pain, so he checked in with the school nurse, Shizune. He told her that he had fallen from the stairs and caught himself in the wrong way.

Shizune had to straighten it out and put a splint on it. Then she gave him pain-killers and told him to tell her if it wasn't better in a few days. She splinted his pinky next to his ring finger too, and did the same thing on his other hand though apparently his ring finger had gotten of better and not been fractured, only jammed. She told him to be careful and completely forbid him to use his right hand for a few weeks.

It really was hell since exams were coming up in two weeks and he had to write with his left hand.

When his friends asked him about it he pulled the same story as he did with Shizune. None looked too persuaded, but they had to accept that it was the only explanation Kakashi was willing to give. He didn't care too much whether they believed him or not as long as they didn't ask any questions.

Gai was training judo, so Kakashi had to do the only training he could do now alone – running. He didn't mind though. Running was a way to clear his mind. He ran to forget.

And sometimes, to remember.

Or maybe he just remembered without wanting to.

It had been… someday in June. No – the beginning of July. Just a few days after all of Kakashi's belongings had burned to the ground and turned to ash. Just a few days after Obito saved his life. Kakashi and Rin had sneaked away to the hospital by themselves.

"Can we see him?" Kakashi had asked the nurse. Thinking back, he must have looked adorable then, because he was so damn tiny for his age and he could pull of the puppy-eyed look when needed to. That day, he had needed to, so he had hit the nurse with the saddest, most hopeful look he could muster. They had finally managed to sneak pass the stupid doctors that forbad them from visiting and if they got thrown out again now that they had come so close it would drive both of them insane.

They needed to see Obito, period.

"Please?" Rin asked, her big doe eyes trying to melt any heart who might forbid them. She was even better at that then he was. Kakashi knew Obito was willing to anything, absolutely _anything_ , when she looked at him like that and truthfully, she had Kakashi pretty caught too when he was on the receiving end.

The nurse shook her head and signed. "Sure. You kids go right in. Just don't stay too long. He'll need rest. He's inhaled a lot of smoke. And Kakashi… you just got out of here. Make sure to take it easy you too."

"I will!"

Despite her warning, the two friends rushed to the door as soon as she turned her back on them, ignoring that she could probably hear their loud leaps as they ran through the silent halls. That she could hear it didn't mean she could catch up with them, and they needed to hurry before another of those grumpy old nurses this place seemed so thick of showed up. Then they were there. They stopped, glancing at each other outside of the door number Obito was supposed to be behind.

Rin took the handle, turned it. She glanced at him a second time. Kakashi put his hands on the door and pushed it opened. Suddenly as stealthy as trained ninja, they sneaked in quietly, soundlessly. They had agreed to only look, just make sure he really was alive and that all those adults weren't lying to them. They wouldn't disturb his rest for the world, they just needed to _see_ him once.

Then he spoke to them.

"Hey, Rin. Kakashi."

They froze, in union, and looked at the bundle lying on a bed further in. The voice had been raspy and hoarse, but undeniably _his_.

Obito's smile grew. "I am _bored_ , and I've missed you."

It unfroze them instantly.

Rin ran to his bed and within a second she was next to him, hugged him softly, careful to not injure him any further. Obito blushed. Kakashi kept his distance and stayed by the door opening, watching him. Obito was heavily bandaged and Kakashi dreaded to find out how badly burnt he really had been. He felt guilty of getting away so easy. He had a few lighter burns, but nothing too bad. They would heal by themselves in a few weeks, but… Kakashi had heard the doctors talking. Obito's right arm, his shoulder, chest, neck… the right side of his face. He would have permanent scars everywhere.

People would look at him, stare.

It was his fault.

"You idiot. If you ever do something so careless again…" Rin was a tough girl, but everything that had happened lately had been too much. She started crying. "I thought I was going to lose you both!"

Obito awkwardly patted her with his non-bandaged hand. "Hey. I'm fine. Kakashi too."

"I was so scared…" Her voice turned into a weak whisper.

"It wasn't like I could just leave him there. If anything, I'd think you would thank me," Obito joked.

"Idiot!" Rin hit the top of his head, which was about the only place he wasn't hurt. It was the first time Kakashi had seen Rin hit Obito, ever, and it made both him and Obito blink in disbelief. "Thank you!?" You ran into a burning building without as much as telling a soul you were going in!"

"I– "

"The _roof_ was on the verge of collapse!"

Obito pouted. "But Rin, I didn't have time to think. And if I had told anyone they would have stopped me!"

"That's because it's the firemen's job. Just look at you! You didn't have the safety equipment for it!"

Obito looked down, his voice turning lower. "They would have been too late." Rin opened her mouth to say something, but then stopped and closed her mouth again. Obito started coughing.

Kakashi clenched his fists. Why Obito? Why would he have had to take the worse of it? Kakashi had been inside the burning house longer – it wasn't fair.

"Do you have any medicine?" Rin asked, voice suddenly much softer.

Obito nodded towards a table next to him and Rin gave him a drink of water and read the bottle, concluded it wasn't any strict rules to how often it was to be given – taken whoever needed, according to the descriptions – so she gave him a teaspoon of the dubious-looking liquid.

Obito looked tired, pale. He needed rest.

Kakashi put a hand on the brunette's shoulder. "Rin, I think we should go now."

"You're right. Take care, okay, Obito? We'll be back to see you as soon as we can."

Obito grinned. "I don't think that's necessary. The danger's all over, and the doctors said I could probably go home tomorrow – or the day after – if I promised to take it easy."

"That's great news. We'll see you."

Rin and Kakashi started walking out through the door when Obito called out, "Hey, Kakashi?"

He stopped, tuning back to face Obito with a questioningly quirk of his eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Could I… just talk to you a sec?"

"Sure. Rin, I'll be right out."

"Alright."

After Rin closed the door, Obito turned to look out the window. Hesitantly, Kakashi walked closer, his gaze drifting over Obito's bandaged body once again.

"I overhead the police taking," Obito finally said. "They think the fire was arson."

That caught his attention.

"You think someone is targeting me or Jiraiya?"

"No. There seems to be some group who has lit several houses in the area. In protest, over something, I don't know. We hadn't heard much about it because the fires had always been stopped before anything happened until your house was lit, but..." Obito turned to look at him with an unusually serious look. "Kakashi, please. Protect Rin… If something happens to her, I don't… I can't even think about it. I heard that you were staying with her until your grandpa found a new house, so… Just be there for her when I can't, alright?"

"Of course. You don't have to ask that."

"Thank you."

Kakashi turned around to leave. "No, Obito. Thank you." He glanced back at the other boy and gave him a small smile.

Obito's eyes widened.

Was it really that surprising? Sure, Kakashi had never been the most expressive individual. He had never been good at speaking about his feelings or to thank people vocally. He often acted like an asshole. But still… Had Obito really not understood how much he meant to him?

"For everything," he added quietly as he walked out.

 _Not just for saving my life._

Presently the lampposts along the jogging track lit up. He had come almost halfway. Kakashi clenched his hands into fists.

 _If I only hadn't promised that._

It would still have hurt more than anything else in his life had to lose Rin, but to make that promise and not being able to keep it…

 _Could I have done something different? If I just been a little more aware… had noticed earlier… been faster…_

It was darkening outside. Kakashi picked up speed.

 **o o o**

Exactly thirteen days and seventeen hours later, one Tuesday morning pre-lunch, Kakashi made up his mind.

Obito was a brat.

Kakashi wouldn't say it to his face, but that what was his mind was calling him right now, among a whole lot of other relevant or irrelevant insults. Obito damn well knew what he was doing when he broke his thumb. They had their last term exams this week and Kakashi just _couldn't_ write; only he still had too and writing without using several fingers, especially without using one's on the dominant hand, really wasn't the easiest task in the world.

Obito really did want to make his life living hell. And the ignorant _brat_ was succeeding in it too.

The son of a– wait.

That would insult Obito's mother and Kakashi was quite fond of her.

Broken fingers meant no martial arts and that just sucked. Running had only satisfied him for a few days but now he was dying for some real action again, and he just _couldn't_ get any. Once again, it drove Kakashi insane that such simple things Obito did could affect his life to such a large degree. It was kind of weird that he was more bothered over the lasting effects of getting his fingers broken than he was bothered by Obito actually breaking them.

Kakashi was sent by his teacher to collect some papers on math formulas for a test that she had printed out at the university's printing room, so there was where Kakashi was heading as he bitterly tried to come up with as many offensive terms to describe Obito with as he possibly could.

Really, he did not hate the guy. It was just that this had slowly been driving him insane. He still hadn't managed to draw any conclusions about what to do, and he felt completely powerless in Obito's presence.

To make up for that Kakashi took the liberty to revolt against him mentally. If nothing else, it did make him feel a little bit better.

When he reached the place around half the number of papers being printed was finished and the machine was working on the remaining ones, slowly chewing out one printed paper at a time.

Kakashi stared at the try green lamp, zoning out while he was waiting for the rest of them. It was harder carrying things too, with broken and jammed fingers, so he was highly irritated at his teacher for picking him out to run errands for her. Even so, this wouldn't have been a problem in the first place if Obito wasn't a sadistic jerk who–

"Hey."

Kakashi jumped at the voice. He turned to see Obito leaning, arms crossed, against the door he had closed without Kakashi even noticing it.

Great. Now all he had to do was to think about him to summon him. Kakashi looked away, an irritated scowl on his face. The irritation was mostly directed at himself right now. He really shouldn't blush at just seeing the other teen, but then again considering the positions Obito had forced him into the last times, perhaps that reaction _was_ justified…

"Obito," he acknowledged, hoping that Obito would leave him alone, or at least not start anything more than a normal conservation with him.

Yeah. Like that would happen.

"How are exams going?"

That _brat_. Kakashi heard the hidden meaning taunting him behind his question and pressed his lips together to keep from saying anything stupid out loud. He looked down at his fingers with an intensive glare as if it was their fault they had been broken.

"Ignoring me?"

"No." Kakashi snapped his eyes to him, finding Obito staring at him with one eyebrow slightly risen, either questionly or in disbelief. Right now, Kakashi couldn't tell.

"Oh, really?" Obito pushed himself off the door, taking deliberately slow but confident steps in Kakashi's direction.

"I… I'm not." Kakashi took a step back and then one more as Obito got closer. "I'm just collecting a few papers. Don't want to take any extra time since my teacher is waiting…" Well, maybe that last part hadn't been quite as smooth and subtle as Kakashi had wanted it to, but it should do the trick without insulting Obito... right?

Obito's eyes narrowed a fraction.

Okay, well, maybe not then.

The machine beeped and Kakashi let out a sigh at its perfect timing. "Looks like I'm done here…" He took a step forth only to have Obito step between the papers and him.

"You're in no hurry."

Kakashi swallowed as he took another step back, hitting the wall. "Actually… I really need to get back before she starts looking for me."

Obito quickly closed the short distance between them. "And _I_ am saying that you're in no hurry. If your teacher does show up, I can take care of her…"

"Um, yeah… I'm sure you can." Kakashi pressed his body closer to the wall, trying to create some more space between them. It didn't work so Kakashi closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. "Obito. Please just let me go."

Obito didn't look impressed when Kakashi opened his eyes to meet his again.

"I don't have time for this…" he muttered, glancing over Obito's shoulder to the closed door and his very much cut off exit. Kakashi stiffened as he saw Obito's jaw clench in the corner of his eye.

Shit. He had dug himself deeper.

Obito pressed his chest against Kakashi's, making it difficult for him to breathe in fully. "I don't think you've got your priorities right, _Kakashi_ ," he murmured in his ear. "Let me remind you."

Obito rolled his hips against Kakashi's.

Kakashi's breath hitched and his eyes widened in alarm. "Obito– " He was cut off mid-sentence by his own gasp when Obito pressed his clothed groin against Kakashi's again, making a wave of unexpected heat awaken in his guts. His breathing was suddenly rapid and irregular as he tried to gain back control over his body. There was just no way. Not this… he _couldn't_.

"Obito, _please_ –"

Obito's hipbones hit his as he harshly buckled his pelvis against Kakashi's intimate area. Blood rushed down in his lower abdomen, seemed to swirl threatingly in his groin. No. Obito couldn't make him–

"Did you say something, Kakashi?" Obito said huskily as he rubbed against Kakashi's.

Kakashi tried to fight it, but lost the battle against his own body as he felt his pants grew tight. He was at once both frustrated and thankful that he wore clinging jeans that managed to hide the physical reaction of what Obito was doing to him. At least Obito wouldn't know he had managed to arouse him so easily.

Kakashi felt his face warm with embarrassment as Obito continued to grind up against him. He choked back a moan and tried to speak again. He needed to stop this. Now.

"O– " Obito pressed harder against him and Kakashi's voice came out as breathy moan when he said the other's name. " _Obito_."

Obito made some primal, rough sound at the back of his throat. His hot breath washed over Kakashi's neck, giving him delicious shivers that weren't welcome at all.

He shouldn't feel like this.

"S-stop it…"

Obito continued rubbing up against him, pressing Kakashi's body harder against the wall with his movements. When he finally did stop not long after, he still didn't back away from Kakashi. Kakashi was panting softly, heart beating hard and cheeks flushed.

"Rut against me, Kakashi," Obito's dark, hoarse voice ordered him.

"Please," Kakashi gasped, the thought of grinding against Obito making his face even warmer. "I can't."

"I'm not asking you," Obito said. "Don't make me do worse things to you…"

Hesitantly, Kakashi buckled his hip out against Obito's, a soft gasp escaping his lips at the sensation of heat rushing down in his groin.

" _Again_."

Kakashi repeated the motion bolder this time, praying that Obito would remain oblivious to just how badly this was affecting him.

"Rub against me."

Kakashi obliged him, biting back a moan before it escaped his lips.

 _Ah, fuck._

Kakashi buckled harder against him. His pants felt painfully tight. He needed the touch. The friction made it a little better while it lasted – only for the aching need to come back and hit even harder afterwards.

Obito's hot breath against his neck was not helping.

Obito grabbed the back of his thighs, quickly spinning him around and steering him to the side before he lifted him up and sat him on a table. His hand pressed Kakashi down until he fell back on the hard surface, his other hand undoing the first button to his pants.

Kakashi tried to sit up but his body betrayed him. He couldn't seem to make his muscles move, as if there was an invisible force holding him down. He caught Obito's hand, but Obito smacked it away with an annoyed snarl. Kakashi whimpered when Obito's hand brushed over his still relatively well concealed bulge and grasped after his zipper.

It wouldn't say concealed for long.

This wasn't going to work. He was _screwed_ , or would be – literally.

Suddenly the fire alarm went off, freezing both teenagers mid-action.

" _Fuck_ ," Obito muttered. "It's probably just a stupid exercise…" He glared at Kakashi, making a low, annoyed growl as he let him go. They had both had enough experience being trapped in fire for a lifetime and neither – not even Obito – wanted to dare death that way again.

When Kakashi fumbled with his button, Obito grabbed his arm and started pulling him out of the room and didn't let him go until Kakashi walked by himself as they hurried out from the already empty school building – first walking, and then running when they felt the smell of smoke sticking in their noses.

When they got outside Kakashi was quick to disappear into the crowds and away from Obito, focusing on _not_ thinking about the tightness in his pants. Fire trucks could be heard from the distance, and he chose to sneak away in the middle of the chaos. He didn't show his face again for the rest of the day.

Tenzo called that night, asking if he was fine since he had disappeared without a word. Apparently the fire was small and quickly put out without creating much damage. It had started in a lab and a rag had caught fire but all that had been damaged was a few cupboards.

Kakashi made up some lie about having a fever and said that he had to stay home from the judo-training – something he didn't want to at all because he desperately needed to work off some tension. But he couldn't fight anyway, not until his fingers had healed. He really needed to do something. Eventually he decided to try the new 10 miles long round Gai had been going on and on about the last few weeks and headed out just before dusk.

He ran until his legs and lungs were on fire, and only walked the last half mile home to cool down. It started snowing. The white, fluffy cottons sailed down slowly in the dark reflecting light from cars, houses and streetlight. A thin layer of snow had covered the ground by the time he walked into his apartment and he left footprints behind himself as he walked.

Maybe it was the snow that reminded him, or maybe it was that the part Obito occupied in his brain was slightly smaller after his run, but he remembered something.

Christmas break was only in a few weeks.

No wait. What date was it?

It was only little over one left.

So much had happened he hadn't realized that he was homesick, but now that he was thinking about Christmas, he suddenly missed everything. He missed his grandfather, Pakkun, the warm, crackling fireplace and the homey cottage. He longed after the country – fresh, and clean and bright with white snow covering the ground like a thick, luxurious blanket and laying heavy one the trees, sparkling icicles and frozen crystals adoring the thin branches.

Kakashi had never been a people person, and he was definitely not a city person either. He missed the county. He missed the loneliness, the silence, the aching emptiness.

The distraction from Obito was a much needed welcome and Kakashi stayed deep in thoughts about Konoha until eventually the memories of Obito from there reforced Obito into his mind, reminding him of what had happened between them today.

Everything had happened to fast, evolved so quickly, and the way he had reacted scared him – just what was Obito doing to him?

He didn't want to think about it and managed to shove him out of his head, filling his thoughts of Jiraiya and Pakkun once again.

* * *

 **What did you think of the chapter? Share your thoughts! I promise, the story will be worth it's rating soon enough. And Itachi will be introduced next chapter, so you have that to look forward to! :) Have a great weekend and as always, review until your fingers bleed. ;)**


	10. Chapter 10 - Going Home

**o o o**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 10 – Going Home

* * *

It seemed that the cold spell was only temporary. The snow had disappeared before morning and covered the ground in slush that melted into puddles as the day wore on. The following week had mild weather and time went by quickly. The worse of that term was soon done and over with and the last few days they got their exams and test backs after their teachers had graded their work.

Since the day in the printing room, Kakashi hadn't seen Obito.

Despite all that had happened, the thought to visit him crossed his mind. Maybe he was ill. But going to Obito's place could easily lead to something Kakashi didn't want to so he quickly decided against it. Perhaps he simply was busy with gang politics, covering up tracks or whatever a gang-leader did and simply didn't have time to bother with end of term grades – or Kakashi.

It would be a lie to say that Obito's absence didn't ease him. Obito had made him awfully jumpy (with good reason) and it felt nice and rather pleasant to just go to his lectures and focus on commonplace, tedious things like studying and the weather, rather than how to avoid the leader of the Akatsuki.

Winter break came and they had a Christmas ceremony that felt terribly long and before it finally ended at 10:00 am. Even the principal was yawning at this point, and cut the choir short, delivered a brief, summarizing speech and dismissed the students.

A few hours later, Kakashi was sitting on the train by the window.

He was going home.

So far December had been boringly tame and the temperature had rarely went down to the freezing-point, but presently big snowflakes was falling outside the window as the train drove by big, empty fields. They were dull and brown now, with only a tint of white among dull patches of coarse, yellowed grass and plowed soil. But Kakashi knew that if this snowfall kept up it was only a matter of time before everything would be under white dunes.

He had hoped they would get snow for the holidays. Christmas never quite felt like Christmas without it, and he remembered that Rin had always loved snow very much.

Kakashi hugged his bag a little harder to his chest. He had left most things at his apartment since more than half of his belongings still were at his grandfather's place. His bag was stuffed with unmade but clean clothes, a book of nude models that he had found in a store close to the train station and thought appropriate as a Christmas gift for Jiraiya, and a big box of oven-dried liver he had made himself the night before. The liver was, of course, for Pakkun. Kakashi hoped the smell would have left the apartment by the time he returned.

The train was full and packed with people either going home or visiting loved ones. Not a single sitting place was free anymore and Kakashi was surrounded by people on his every side. He didn't particularly like that, but at least he had gotten a seat by the window, and looking out, he could almost pretend that he was outside on the big fields instead.

A few deer grazed on the dead grass. When the train came they pointed their ears and lifted their slender heads. Within a few seconds they ran with swift, graceful movements. Their forms quickly got smaller as they got further away but they didn't have time to disappear behind the horizon before the train had swished by and Kakashi could no longer see them.

Pakkun would have loved to play on these big fields. He would have wanted to chase the deer, but his short, plump legs wouldn't have given him any chance to get near them. Kakashi smiled. He really missed his dog.

The view outside his window stayed the same and eventually Kakashi grew tired of it and flipped up Icha Icha Violence. The mother in front of him let out a horrified gasp and covered the eyes of her little six year old sitting in her lap. The train was so crowded that there was no room for her to have an own seat. The girl peeled her mother's hands off her. Big, green eyes locked directly with Kakashi's.

"What's that book? Why doesn't mommy want me to see it?"

The mother sent Kakashi a glance of warning.

"It's romance," Kakashi said seriously. "And your mother doesn't want you to leave her for a prince just yet."

The girl smiled and hugged her mother. "Don't worry, mommy," she said. "I won't leave you."

Kakashi's eyes crinkled in a happy smile. The little girl smiled back. The girl's mother kept trying to keep her face straight and solemn, but eventually the corners of her lips tugged upwards and something in her eyes glinted.

The child looked closely at him, her expression changing to thoughtfulness. "Have you colored your hair?" she asked.

"No."

She hummed and sat silent for a while before nodding seriously. "You look very good for you age," she told him. "Your skin isn't wrinkly."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. The mother chuckled.

"I'm nineteen. I was born with white hair. It's in the family."

"Really?"

"Yes. My dad and my grandfather also have it."

"Of course they do." She wrinkled her nose. " _They_ must be old."

"…I meant that they were born with it as well."

"Oh. That's cool."

After that the little girl kept asking him questions, mostly about princes and princesses and a few about his unique hair-color as well. It turned out they lived in Konoha too which meant they would be riding with him the entire way. When the train reached its destination and they finally had to part, the little girl hugged him.

Kakashi didn't really know how to respond to that.

"I think it's sweet that you read romance," she said in a very much grown up way. "Not many boys do that."

"Sakura! Come on now!"

"Goodbye. And Merry Christmas!" she said as she spun around, her strawberry blond hair flying over her shoulder as she ran to her mother and took her hand.

"You shouldn't bother strangers," her mother scolded her gently as they walked away. Kakashi shook his head, amused, and turned to his grandfather's truck that was waiting for him.

 **o o o**

When Kakashi got home, a pug ran up to meet him, his tail wigging violently as he tried to be obedient to his training and keep from jumping. Kakashi bent down and petted the impatient little dog whose tongue licked at his fingers.

The two ran outside and Kakashi threw snowballs that Pakkun chased and tried to catch. Then he ran around the house. The snow slowed the pug's movements down so Kakashi managed to hide before Pakkun caught up to him. Pakkun sat his nose to the ground and followed his footsteps to his hiding place. Kakashi sat down and the pug crawled up in his lap and licked his face. Kakashi laughed as he tried to avoid the sloppy dog kisses and leaned back, falling down in the soft snow. Pakkun climbed up on his chest and licked his cheek with his soft, pink tongue. When he tried to lick his lips Kakashi pushed him off gently and Pakkun licked his hands instead. Then he lay down and barked, playfully tugging at his jacket with his teeth. He rolled over on his back and Kakashi scratched his belly.

"I missed you, boy."

Pakkun nuzzled in his pocket.

"I don't have anything on me. But I did bring something with me from town."

Pakkun wagged his tail expectantly, and Kakashi sat up. "No, you won't get any now. You'll just get fat. Jiraiya always feeds you way too much. You'll have to wait until our walk. I just need to unpack first."

Kakashi and Pakkun took a short walk in the woods just before sundown. Kakashi enjoyed the fresh air and the familiar surroundings. He knew these forests as good as the back of his hand. It started snowing again and Kakashi turned home as the temperature dropped. It seemed they would indeed get a white winter after all.

When Kakashi went to sleep it was still snowing. The snow fell quietly, soundlessly in the still, cold night.

 **o o o**

The next day the snow had stopped falling. The ground was covered in ankle-deep snow. After washing up after breakfast Kakashi and Pakkun walked out again. Today the air was perfectly still and not a breeze moved among the trees. Snow covered the bare branches.

Kakashi walked along a path he often used to take. On his way home he spotted a lonely child in the woods who was sitting silently on a big rock. He looked old enough to not get lost and Kakashi figured he would only be found creepy if he tried to talk to him, so he decided to walk past him and let the guy mind his own business. However, once Pakkun caught nose of him, he had other plans than his master and ran to the rock, barking. Kakashi tried to call for him, but at the moment Pakkun wasn't willing to listen to him at all.

The boy looked at the dog and jumped down, crouching down to scratch the pug behind his ears. "Good dog," the child murmured softly. Then, he looked up at Kakashi. "Pakkun, right?"

"Yes." Kakashi tried to remember where he might have met the boy before because he seemed strangely familiar.

"It's nice to see you again, Kakashi-senpai."

If finally clicked. "Right. You are one of Obito's cousins, aren't you?"

The dark haired boy smiled. "Yes. I'm Itachi Uchiha."

"Itachi. Right. You've grown your hair out."

"Hn."

"And you're much taller. How old are you now?"

"Eleven."

"You're still doing judo?"

"I switched to karate."

Kakashi nodded. "I tried a few classes myself – long ago – but I guess I'm too stuck on judo to consider anything else. How's your little brother?"

Itachi's eyes lit up as he started talking about Sasuke. The two of them ended up climbing back up on the rock Itachi previously sat on while Itachi told Kakashi about how Sasuke had started school and already was quite popular with the girls.

"I usually help him with his homework but he's already way past everyone else in class. He's made a new friend named Naruto, but they fight so much sometimes I wonder…" Itachi laughed, the sound ringing clear in the silence. Kakashi smiled. Itachi usually kept to himself with the exception of his best friend Shisui, but for some reason the young Uchiha had never really had a problem talking to him – and he would talk about his little brother to anyone who was willing to listen. "So," Itachi finally said. "I heard you go to a college in Amegakure. Have you seem Obito any?"

"Yes… We go to the same university."

"Is he still angry with you?"

There was no use denying it. Itachi was too smart to buy a straight out lie. "I'm afraid so."

Itachi furrowed his brows. "Is it true that he's creating trouble?"

Kakashi wasn't about to tell Itachi that his cousin probably was the most feared gang-leader in Amegakure so he settled for something a little less dramatic. "He's quite the problem-maker, yes."

Itachi sat silent for a few seconds before he replied. "He's acting like a spoiled child."

Kakashi blinked, and looked at the younger boy.

Itachi looked up at him. "It's true. Everyone loses loved ones sooner or later. Nobody lives forever and though all times people have accepted their loses and been forced to move on. Life goes on. It's been years now and he's being unfair when he's trying to make you feel guilty. It is immature to make life harder for everyone else just because he suffers."

Kakashi thought about that for a while. Itachi had always seemed so much more mature than others his age. It felt more as if he was talking to someone his own age rather than a boy seven years younger than him. "How would you react if Sasuke died?" he wondered out loud, curious about the younger boy's answer.

Itachi clinched his mitten-covered hand. "I don't know," he said honesty. "But if there was an accident I hope I would behave more rationally than Obito does. My parents would be hurting enough with Sasuke gone without having me starting trouble on top of it. It would only be stupid. It wouldn't help anyone and it's wouldn't bring Sasuke back. Obito is only hurting more people."

"I think…" Kakashi began. "That maybe Obito doesn't want to suffer alone."

"It's still stupid. Anyone can see how much you already are hurting. He's lost one of his best friends and you'd think he'd want to make you feel better, not worse. You're all he's got left. If I lost Sasuke, I'd hurt… but I wouldn't push Shisui away."

"But he… he loved her."

Itachi tilted his head softy. "You don't think I love Sasuke? He's my brother but I love him every bit as much, if not more, than Obito loved Rin. I'd do anything for him." They sat silent for a while before Itachi took his hand and pushed up the sleeve of his jacket with his thumb. "…what's he doing to you?"

Kakashi froze as he realized Itachi was searching for bruises or physical injuries on him. He choked out something that was supposed to be a laugh. "You don't think he's really hurting me, do you? Come on. He's your cousin, what do you take him for?"

Itachi looked up and met his eyes seriously. Shit, this kid was _attentive_.

"It's in your eyes," he told him. "They look haunted again. He's doing or saying things to you that hurt you." Itachi keep his gaze and finally Kakashi looked away. "Or maybe both," the Uchiha added silently.

Kakashi pulled his hand away, glad his fingers had healed enough for him to remove his splinters before Itachi inspected them. "No, it's not that," he lied. "I just can't reach through to him. That's what's hurting me."

"You don't really take the blame for Rin's death, do you?"

Yes he did. Or maybe not. But he felt guilty. He had her blood on his hands… If only he hadn't–

"Because it's not," Itachi snapped, using a sharper tone than the low-voiced boy usually did. "Don't believe what he tells you."

"Thank you, Itachi."

"Hey. Mother and Sasuke were making dough for gingerbread cookies before I left and we're going to make cookies tonight. Would you like to join us? Sasuke would be happy to see you and mother always makes far too much dough for us."

"I'm not very good at baking…"

Itachi snorted. "Do you think Sasuke is?"

"Good point. It sounds fun. I'd like to come, but I have to leave Pakkun at Jiraiya's first."

"I'll walk with you! I like Pakkun. He's cute."

Kakashi and Itachi followed the small path that led out of the forest, Pakkun close behind their heels. Kakashi let Pakkun in and told Jiraiya that he'd be at Itachi's and walked out to the waiting boy. Together they walked to a blue-painted house a mile down the road.

They baked gingerbread cookies until after it darkened. When Itachi's mother put Sasuke to sleep Itachi and Kakashi made the last patch of cookies and watched them closely as the baked in the oven, knowing full well that the second they turned their attention off them they could be burned (and most likely would, gingerbread cookies are predictable like that). The entire house smelled like spices and Christmas. The Uchihas had already decorated the house and taken in a Christmas tree and Kakashi made a mental note of bringing in a tree tomorrow himself. Neither Kakashi nor Jiraiya bothered with many Christmas decorations, but Kakashi always wanted a tree.

Kakashi glanced at Itachi. Maybe, just maybe, he'd ask if Itachi wanted to come with him tomorrow. He did seem fond of Pakkun, after all. He might be a child, but he really wasn't bad company.

Itachi's mother gave Kakashi a big batch of cookies and thanked him for helping while Kakashi replied that the pleasure had been entirely his. Then he said goodnight to Itachi and walked out in the cool night. The snow crushed under his boots and made the darkness a little less black. A white cloud escaped his nose as he exhaled. The sky was unusually clear and filled with stars, and a bright moon lit up the snowy road home.

It was nice to crawl into a warm bed that smelled clean and familiar, knowing there was only a few days until Christmas and two full weeks before he needed to get back to college and the city again.

It was pleasant when Jiraiya checked up on him and when he thought his grandson to be asleep.

It was good to be home. Falling asleep was easy, but everything felt so nice that Kakashi stayed up simply staring out into the darkness and enjoyed the feeling of being back.

* * *

 **Not so much angst, but rather a fluffy chapter. I like writing Itachi, and you can look forward to see more of his pretty face in next chapter. Anyone dare guess who else will finally make an appearance in the story?**


	11. Chapter 11 - Past and Present

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews. Because I've been short on time lately I haven't been able to answer them all (yet) and I figured most of you would prefer an update over a reply, neh? Know that I read them several times over each and thrive. ;)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 11 – Past and Present

* * *

Despite the clear evening, the sky was darkened by clouds as the hours passed. When Kakashi went to sleep, it was snowing heavily, the wind building up and the snow swirling harder.

At night, the wind roared and tore in the small house, making its walls shake and quiver as it whined and howled outside. Snow was blown around in hard winds against the windows. But the house was warm and comfy, a fire burning steadily in its place, flicking ever now and then to the storm. Kakashi fell asleep to its sounds. It was a wild night outside, but it was calm, safe, and so much like _home_ inside.

When he woke, he wasn't surprised to see the landscape completely changed by fluffy white hills. The snow had grown a generous amount of two feet during the night. Giant drifts lay everywhere, and it was hard to get the door open when he tried to go out.

The sky was still pink when Kakashi and Pakkun walked to Itachi's house. He knew the Uchiha always got up fairly early, so while he might have slept at this time himself, Itachi would be long awake. The reason he already was up was because Pakkun had woken him and wouldn't let him go back to sleep.

Maybe calling half past eight early was pushing it just a bit, though.

His shoes made a low sound under his feet as he stepped on the new-plowed road, still white with the hardened, down trampled snow from the day before. He reached the Uchihas' house and walked inside their yard. He intended to walk up and knock on the door, but he never got that far.

He heard the laughter of a child, but before he had time to fully turn around, a blond kid crashed into him full force, mid-leap. The place Kakashi stood on had just happened to be an icy, frozen puddle covered only by lightly powdered snow and before he knew it, he slipped. The extra weight clinging to his leg got him off balance and he fell.

He glanced up into the sky and wondered just what he had done in his past life to deserve this. The kid who had run him over climbed up on his chest to see if he was alive. Sasuke stopped next to him and looked down at Kakashi just before blond hair and strikingly blue eyes blocked his view.

"My name is Naruto," the young boy informed Kakashi seriously. He looked very much like he expected an answer in return. Kakashi stared back at him and didn't say anything. He made up his mind to not give any form of introduction until Naruto had moved off him.

Naruto didn't get the hint, and when Kakashi failed to give him the reply he was looking for he turned to someone else for the answer to his question. "Hey, Sasuke-teme. Who's this? Is he a thief?"

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched.

"That is Kakashi. Get off him, dobe."

Naruto did nothing of the sort. He threw himself over Kakashi and wrapped his hands around his neck. For a while Kakashi suspected he was plotting murder.

"Kakashi! Sasuke is trying to kill me! Help me!"

Oh. So that was how it was.

"I," Kakashi said, sitting up, trying to pull the boy attached to him like a second skin off.

Naruto didn't budge.

"Am." His efforts were so far made in vain and he pulled harder.

It didn't work.

"NOT going to…" he stood up, hoping gravity would be on his side if nothing else. "…be a part of your snowball fight," he finished. Naruto was strong, and clung to his body with a vigor that would have made Gai proud.

It turned out that gravity wasn't on his side. Either that, or Naruto was immune to it.

"Let _go_ ," Kakashi said as he tried to pull Naruto off him again. He was about as successful as he would be in getting a particularly sticky piece of gum off a shoe. Only that Naruto was way more stubborn than any gum.

He pulled and tried to shake him off, but when he got Naruto to ease his grip just a little, he accidentally stepped on the same icy spot as he did earlier and fell back to the ground again. White, fluffy snow got stuck all over his hair, Pakkun licked his face and Naruto laughed.

At that moment, Itachi opened the door and told Naruto to stop torturing him already.

Kakashi decided he _really_ didn't like kids.

He felt he might have lost a great deal of respect in Itachi's eyes too, seeing as one little kid had managed to defeat a supposed judo-master. Though he was happy to get Naruto off him, it was almost made worse when Naruto listened immediately to Itachi and ran off with Sasuke, when he hadn't listened to anything _he_ said. Pakkun ran after them, barking happily and wigging his little tail, snow being riled up into the air behind him – even his own dog abandoning him.

Kakashi stood up, shook some snow off his clothes and ran his hand through his hair to get the worse of it out as he walked the last part of the path leading up to the Uchiha's home. Itachi stood with the door open and let him in, an amused smile on his lips.

"Kakashi. It's good to see you," he said politely as he closed the door behind him.

"Yeah," was Kakashi's short reply. He was starting to regret his decision in coming here. It was awkwardly silent, and he gave up. It felt stupid to ask, but it was too late to think of that now. Better cut right to the point. "I was going to cut a Christmas tree," he said, "and I wondered if you would like to come with me."

"I'd like to," said Itachi. "But my parents are away and I've promised to look after those two." He nodded out towards the window where Sasuke and Naruto could be seen tumbling around, play wrestling and muffling each other's faces with snow.

"I understand."

Itachi looked at him, raising one eyebrow faintly. "Would you mind if I took the boys with me?"

"Well… no." Sure, he had decided he didn't like kids, but he might want to get know the boy Itachi was bragging about all the time. And Naruto… as much of a chewing gum as he was when it came to getting him off his clothes, he reminded him of someone and Kakashi found himself interested to find out just who it was.

"Are you in a hurry?"

"No. I've got nothing else planned today."

Itachi nodded. "Then hang off your clothes and stay awhile. I'll pack a picnic and then we can go together."

That actually sounded like a decent idea. Kakashi took off his shoes and unzipped his jacket, hanging it on one of the hangers before he followed Itachi into the kitchen.

"Where are you planning to go?" said Itachi.

"Not too far."

Itachi started heating milk on the stove and made sandwiches.

"Should I help?" Kakashi asked.

Itachi put a packet of butter and bread in front of him and a butter knife in his hand. Kakashi started buttering the bread for him. Meanwhile, Itachi cut tomatoes and put them and cheese on their sandwiches in making. Itachi packed a backpack with sandwiches, a thermos of hot cocoa and four plastic mugs. Then they headed out and Itachi called for Naruto and Sasuke. They walked past Jiraiya's place where Kakashi picked up his axe and then they strayed from the road into the woods where they plowed their way through thick, white snow together with two shouting boys.

Or rather, Naruto shouted, and Sasuke only shouted back when Naruto managed to get a full aim and a snowball in his face.

The snow was deep, but the icy cold had made it fluffy and light to walk through, not at all packed and heavy. Naruto mourned this, because it meant making snowballs was so much harder, and his fingers got cold when he took off his gloves and tried to melt the snow into a moldable form. But he quickly forgot about that and challenged Sasuke to outrun Pakkun.

The sun had risen above the trees and the sky was as blue as only a clear winter sky can be. There were no clouds in sight and the sun made the snow sparkle where the rays reached through the thick firs and bare branches. The storm last night had blown the light snow off the trees and they stood dark in contrast against the white ground, shivering and cracking in the cold wind with neither a blanket of snow nor foliage of leaves to protect them.

Though the woods might be more beautiful and enchanting with snow-covered trees, this weather was perfect to find a good Christmas tree in, since the shape and form of the green-coated spruces weren't hidden or deformed under heavy snow. The light snow would also be easier to push away and dig through when he had found the three he had been looking for and was going to cut it down.

They had walked for almost a mile when Naruto tugged at his jacket. "Neh, neh, Kakashi. Sasuke says you know judo. Will you teach me?"

"No, I won't. Take lessons at a dojo, kid."

"Please, I want to learn! I'm going to kick Sasuke's ass big-time!"

"You do know that Judo is called 'the gentle way, right? It isn't meant to beat people up with just for the fun of it."

"The gentle what?" Naruto said, tilting his head and looking bemused.

"Forget it."

"Teach me!"

"No."

Naruto leaped and attached himself to Kakashi's leg. Kakashi looked down in horror at the boy stuck to him for the second time that day before he desperately tried to shake him off. He had to admit one thing. Naruto's grip on clothes was good enough to make any judoka proud.

"Naruto," Itachi said. "Let go of his leg."

"No! Not until he agrees to train me, dattebayo!"

It didn't matter. Grip or not, he was only seven and he couldn't hold on for too long. He'd get bored. Kakashi was sure of it and continued to plod through the snow with the dead weight clinking on for dear life at his left leg.

His eyebrow twitched and he was pretty sure the saw the corners of Itachi's mouth do the same.

Almost nine minutes later, his leg was straining in protest and Kakashi decided that Naruto was the most stubborn child he ever had had the misfortune to meet.

"Next summer," Kakashi said through clenched teeth. "I'll train you next summer."

"Yey!" shouted Naruto and fell to his butt in the snow, grinning widely.

Kakashi was sure he'd find a way to push Naruto's training over to Jiraiya. As the man was a former instructor, he had way more knowledge about how to teach judo anyhow.

They reached an area dense with spruces and Kakashi's eyes focused on a proud, symmetrical-looking one, thick with deep-green needles. It looked to be about the right size to fit in their living room.

"Found it," he told Itachi as he walked to the tree and kneeled by it as he pushed the loose snow away from its trunk and lower branches. This part of the forest belonged to some friend of Jiraiya – really, that old man knew too many people – and therefore Kakashi had gotten free rein to cut a tree here.

Naruto run tirelessly around and around the tree, chasing Sasuke with a big foxy grin and sparkling eyes. He had managed to form a snowball when Sasuke wasn't looking and had now the upper hand since Sasuke couldn't stop to make one of his own – because that would give Naruto a clear shot. Naruto, for his part, didn't want to throw it until he got a good chance of meeting his target so around the tree – and around Kakashi – they went.

Soon a path had been formed. It was a wonder they didn't get dizzy.

With some help from Itachi, Kakashi got his tree down without accidentally cutting a limb off anyone and they sat down on a small hill close-by to have their lunch. Naruto devoured his sandwiches as if he was starving and hadn't seen any solid food in months. Sasuke stole Naruto's tomato slices whenever he could get his hands on them but had otherwise good table manners if one could overlook that. Kakashi and Itachi, with their hearts halfway up their throats, watched Naruto eating, fearing that he would choke to death the second they took their eyes off him. After drowning himself in hot chocolate that should have burned the throat of any normal human child sore, he ran away to climb a tree. Sasuke ate the last bite of his bread – unlike Naruto actually making sure to chew before he swallowed – and followed shortly. He probably didn't want to let Naruto outdo him in tree climbing in front of his older brother.

Kakashi took a deep breath, and, assured that Naruto would have plenty of snow to land in if he fell, began eating his lunch. Itachi did the same. Kakashi hadn't known how he was hungry before, but once he started eating he could partly understand Naruto's desperate consumption. There was just something about eating outside that tended to make food taste that much better and the cup of hot cocoa warmed his cold fingers.

Naruto fell down from a branch almost four meters up in the air and began laughing uncontrollably after he landed and had experienced the thrill that had come from his free-fall. His face was flushed from excitement and the cold, and he dared Sasuke to jump down, too. Sasuke only hesitated a moment before he jumped out of the tree, determination and a tint of fear flashing through his eyes as he took the leap. But when he landed a few meters from Naruto, snow flying up everywhere around him, he laughed too.

Kakashi finally realized just who Naruto reminded him of.

"He's a lot like Obito used to be, isn't he?" Itachi said as if reading him by mind. Kakashi turned to him with a puzzled expression on his face. Itachi was so much younger than they were, he couldn't possibly have remembered that – could he?

"How did you know?"

"His parents. They keep talking about how alike the two are."

"Yeah." Kakashi turned back to watch the two boys in the snow. "He is. Mine and Obito's friendship used to be of the same kind those two seem to have."

"Were you like Sasuke, then?"

"No… maybe there are some similarities, but no, not really."

At that moment Naruto jumped up, arms full of snow and threw it at Sasuke. Sasuke's face got covered with snow so he hastily sat up, kicking blindly after Naruto's legs. Naruto let out a pained 'oomph' as he fell over Sasuke.

Kakashi's jaws stopped half-way into his sandwich.

Somehow, despite all likelihood, Naruto had managed to fall so that his lips touched Sasuke's. Itachi and Kakashi stared in disbelief and joy-mixed terror as eyes opened, realization sunk in and Naruto threw himself off Sasuke so violently that he fell back and hit his head against an old stump.

Kakashi didn't know whether he should be more amazed that they had managed of land exactly like _that_ or at the fortunate miracle that they hadn't knocked each other's teeth out in the progress of it.

"Dobe," Sasuke growled, his fair, light skin passing through many different shades of red as it darkened. Kakashi didn't know if it were from embarrassment or anger. Maybe both. "I'll _kill_ you!"

Naruto, for his part, paled as blood drained from his face and then he scrambled up and started running as if his pants were on fire. Sasuke chased him, but for once Naruto was desperate enough to not let Sasuke catch up with him as he fled for his life. Sasuke followed shortly after, driven by murder intent. Both outrun Pakkun this time, who was left confused in a cloud of snow.

"Just like them, huh?"

Kakashi broke a twig from a nearby tree and threw it at Itachi's head. "Oh, _shut up_."

After finishing their meal, Itachi had Sasuke help pick up after them to give Naruto some time to breathe. Naruto used the opportunity to climb high, high up into a pine tree to hide. Kakashi tied and twisted a rope around his Christmas tree so that it would be easier to pull home.

"Naruto," Itachi called out when they were finished. "It's time to go back."

The blond boy refused to climb down from the tree. Sasuke turned to his brother. "I can take him down," he said, in a voice perfectly innocent and not at all matching with the dark look in his eyes that promised death and revenge.

"No, you won't."

Sasuke pouted, but only a little.

"I can't come down!"

Itachi sighed and looked up at the boy with a look that made Naruto freeze.

"I––I-I'll c-come down, I-ta-chi," he stuttered.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes in suspicion and leaned closer to Itachi. "How did you do that?"

Itachi smiled, but didn't say anything. Kakashi accepted unwillingly to give up the case for now. Someday he needed to learn Itachi's secret, though.

Naruto climbed down until he was in just above Kakashi's head. "Itachi… there's a monster on the ground. I want to, but I really _can't_ come down."

Said monster grinned maniacally.

"We have to go home now, Naruto, or your parents will worry."

The branches creaked as Naruto moved, and Kakashi looked down to not get dirt in his eyes. He stopped in surprise when he felt legs slide down over his shoulders and small hands cover his face.

"This is okay, right, Kaka-scarecrow?"

Stupid cute kids.

"That is not going to work on me," he said coldheartedly.

" _Please_ , Kaka-sensei?"

"…"

Dammit.

"Take your hands away from my eyes, don't pull my hair and don't fall off."

Naruto shuddered and Kakashi saw him steal a glance at Sasuke from the corner of his eye. "Oh, I don't think you have to worry about _that._ "

Kakashi rolled his eyes. With Naruto on his shoulder and a rope tied to an evergreen little tree in his hand, he walked after Itachi and Sasuke.

 **o o o**

After leaving Naruto at Itachi's place he took his tree home to put it up. It made everything seem so much more like Christmas time, Kakashi thought, when there was snow outside and the clean smell of fern inside. He didn't mind the other Christmas decoration much – quite frankly, he found them annoying and useless since he only had to pack them back into their boxes again once Christmas was over and they were just a stupid waste of time and money – but as for the Christmas tree, it had always been important. It was stupid, he could agree with that, but it was… tradition. When he was small he remembered vague memories of him dressing it with his father and he had newer, less faded memories of dressing them with Rin and Obito. They used to come to his old place and do it with Kakashi since Jiraiya really didn't care much for a tree in the house. Kakashi could take it in if he took it out again, and that was all there was to it.

So Kakashi put it up in the corner of the living room. He adorned it with lights, silvery glitter and red, shiny glass balls. He used to have a box of Christmas decorations he, Rin and Obito had made as kids. They once had their place on the tree, too, but of course those had been made into ash all those years ago, and honesty, even if he still had had them, he didn't think he could put those up without Obito and Rin.

They didn't have a star on top of their tree either. They used to, but it had broken on his second Christmas in Konoha. Rin had improvised and used foil, wire, and cardboard to make one for them, and they had used it ever since. It hadn't been the most expensive star, perhaps, but Obito had found it the prettiest one there ever was.

When she had died, and the star burned up in flames, Kakashi couldn't bring himself to purchase another one. Nothing could replace it.

It was dark outside when the tree was finished. Candles were lighted, casting a play of lights and shadows on the table.

It was quite early, but he didn't really have anything to do. He blew out the small flame melting wax and put on more wood at the fireplace. With the temperature steadily dropping and a clear sky like this, it was sure to be a cold night. He sneaked up to his room and buried himself in his bed underneath cool covers.

Outside, the wind was still. Quiet, so unlike the sounds of the city he had gotten used to.

Inside, a storm was roaring. His consciousness was caught in it, pulled away as his eyes slowly closed.

 _There is a raging wind, growling, screaming out its anger._

 _Suddenly Kakashi stands in front of Obito._

 _Obito points at Kakashi._

 _"You promised that you would protect her."_

 _There is a car, there is a body and there is the color red._

 _"I did my best!"_

 _"You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."_

 _"Please, I tried!"_

 _Blood is splattered everywhere._

 _"I saved you and this is how you repay me? By letting her die!?"_

 _"No!" Kakashi shouts back._

 _"Look at your hands, you killer!"_

 _Kakashi looks down._

 _Red._

Kakashi twisted in his bed as he woke up. His fingers dug into a pillow as he turned around and buried his face in it.

"Forgive me," he murmured, still half-asleep. "I didn't mean to… I…"

 _Kakashi stands in front of Obito._

 _"You promised_ – _"_

Kakashi jerked up into a sitting position, eyes snapping open. It wasn't any use. He wouldn't be able to get any sleep this night. He turned on the lamp. He blinked, trying to get used to the light, and reached for Icha Icha on his bed-table.

When morning came and the sun chased away the shadows of the night, Kakashi was finally able to rest. He slept until noon, only getting up when Jiraiya knocked on his door and jokingly asked if he was still alive in there. Kakashi replied by letting out some slurry mutterings that made no sense was so ever but got out of bed and into the bathroom to take a shower. At half past twelve he sat down to eat his breakfast, fully aware of the dark rings under his eyes that had taunted him in the mirror earlier.

Jiraiya slapped his back and told him he looked like shit.

Kakashi gave him a tiresome glare and reminded himself that he was going to let Naruto loose on him when the time came. Then he poured boiling water over his bread and bit into his porcelain cup. Hot water run over the edge and fell on his pants and burned him. He flinched and pushed his chair away, stopping himself just in time from slamming his head into the table at the watery sandwich that lay there out of pure anguish. Instead, he found a wall to hit head against ten times as an out most sane way to clear his mind before he changed his pants, returned to the table, cleaned up and started over again.

 **o o o**

Over all, Christmas passed quietly, but that was exactly how Kakashi wanted it to be after all that had happened at school. The only thing different was that this year he didn't visit Obito's parents. He couldn't. They would ask questions and Kakashi didn't want to lie to them, but to tell them the truth was simply not an option either.

So he avoided them.

Instead he paid his visit to Rin's grave almost every day. The graveyard laid only half a mile or so from home so it wasn't a long distance to walk. He spent many hours by her resting place, speaking to her. He told her about Rainbrook University and Obito. She was the only person he could speak to about him.

He visited Rin's parents too. He knew before he moved to Amegakure that Mrs. Nohara was pregnant, but now she was truly starting to show. When he first heard the news just before he moved to Amegakure, had a lot of mixed feelings about it. But he knew Rin would have been overjoyed to get a little brother or sister, so he decided to be happy about it, too. He was sure Rin's parents needed a new joy in their life because these past years had been very rough on them. After giving them his grandfather's Christmas greeting, he was invited in for tea, which he accepted, slightly awkwardly.

When he left, Rin's mother gave him a Christmas gift. Her parents used to give him gifts at Christmas, when he, Rin and Obito were little and celebrated it together, but it was years since so Kakashi was surprised. It was an album full of photos of him, Obito and Rin. He thanked them sincerely and walked home and straight into his room where he locked the door and sat down in his bed with it.

He stroked the perm with something aching to fondness. He snorted; realizing that if anyone saw him they would find him abnormally sentimental. But he had believed that every photo he had of them had burned to the ground, as most all the reminders of his childhood had. However, apparently some photos had been saved and Mrs. Nohara had had them printed and put in an album book.

It was book packed of memories, before it all changed. Memories he had forgotten – or tried to forget – came back to him. It was a beautiful gift, and although he found it bittersweet he was genially happy for it. He understood why Mrs. Nohara hadn't put it together earlier, though. She had just been starting to move on from the long process of recovering from losing her daughter and she knew better than to throw old photos of them at Kakashi's still grieving face. She probably thought he could handle it now.

There were pictures of them building a snowman. Of Kakashi shoving show in Obito's face, and of how they the moment after had been fighting in snow as Obito tried to get even with him – much like Sasuke and Naruto had the other day. There was another picture of Rin making a snow angel, of her close up when she was laughing, brown dancing eyes with joy, caught forever in time by the cameraman. Someone had managed to snap a photo of the three of them. Kakashi hadn't wanted to be part of that picture, so Obito had slung his arm over his shoulders and captured him in a neck lock, and the photographer had managed to take the picture just as Kakashi looked the most offended, his expression still unable to decide on shocked, angry or insulted – right before he had exploded and gone off on Obito.

There were earlier pictures too, when they were younger, all the way until the last year before the incident. One in which Obito hugged Rin, held her up and spun her around in the air, and another where Rin had taken Kakashi's hand. The love triangle was clear even on photos.

There was only one picture of Kakashi and Obito in which they didn't fight, glare at or ignore each other in. Kakashi couldn't remember why, but he could remember the moment, how he had felt, clearly. Obito had flashed a smile at him, something queer and warm had fluttered inside him, and he had found himself smiling back without even realizing it, genuinely and without the teasing or taunting that usually came with any of his smiles in Obito's direction.

Huh.

He had forgotten that.

He closed the book. This evening had been far enough remembering for the rest of this year.

* * *

 **I was pleasantly surprised to see how many guessed I got from my question on last chapter! Congratulations to Steuben439 (AO3) and MawMax ( ) who got it right. It's Naruto, ofc! :D**

 **However, Anko will make an entrance very soon as well, and while I do adore Shisui… no, sorry guys. He's Itachi's buddy, but he and Kakashi doesn't interact in the story.**


	12. Chapter 12 - Happy New Year

**Again, I must apologize for the delay and for my silence towards all your reviews. School is hectic, our bitch had had puppies and my family might move (yet again) It's all excuses but I figure I might be easier forgiven with those. People tend to work that way. Sympathy and that. Know that I still read all reviews and rejoice over them. I hope to finally reply to them soon.**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 12 – Happy New Year

* * *

The day after Christmas Day Kakashi was reading when his phone rung. Kakashi had every intention of ignoring it until the caller gave up, but then the telephone sounded a third time. Since he was too lazy to switch the phone to soundless just to keep ignoring Gai – the only person he knew of that would call three times in a row – he picked up. Gai told Kakashi that the old classmates of Konoha High were planning to have a reunion and celebrate New Year together if they could get enough to show up.

Apparently Kurenai had missed her old school peers and when she told Asuma about it, the two had gotten the idea of trying to do something together with their old friends. They were organizing a New Year party in the very building they once had gone to school in – Asuma had managed to hire it for that day.

Asuma had talked to Gai about it when they met in town at a Christmas fair a few days earlier. Gai had found the idea to be out-most youthful and was now passionately trying to get as many as possibly to show up. That his rival would accept was taken for granted, and he wondered if Kakashi could help him get more together. He hinted not so subtly Anko was the only one who had refused his invitation so far.

Kakashi accepted without trying to find any excuse not to. He still felt he owed something to Gai for helping him to find an apartment. Besides, asking one person to show up could hardly be counted as something that difficult and self-sacrificing.

"Right. Peruse Anko to show up. I can do that."

He ended the call before he had to listen to Gai's delighted response to this and dialed the number of a certain spiky-haired raven with equally spiky temper. The sooner he got it over with, the sooner he could return to Icha Icha, after all.

"Hey, Kakashi. Why are you calling?"

"Do you have any plans for New Year?"

"Kakashi, I swear, if Gai has put you up to this– "

"Just drag yourself to our old school at 19:00. Kurenai wants you there."

There was a short silence.

"…fuck you," said Anko before she hung up, and Kakashi knew he had successfully completed his task. He could open his book at where he left of in good conscience.

 **o o o**

New Year evening was colder than ever. The temperature was below zero degrees Fahrenheit. It was a good three mile long walk to his old school, but Kakashi put on his winter jacket and headed out. It would only be pleasant with a long, quiet walk this night.

Pakkun looked up at him through big, hopeful eyes as he dressed. A quiet, heart-wrenching whine rose from his throat. He seemed to know Kakashi wasn't planning on taking him along, and despite his cuteness, Kakashi was unwavering. Pakkun couldn't come with him. After all the exercise he had gotten lately, he really didn't need it, and he couldn't take Pakkun with him into the school buildings.

Kakashi patted the little dog's right ear affectionately and then closed the door in front of his nose.

The late afternoon had barely turned into evening, but the sun had already gone down and he walked in darkness, almost completely unable to see anything at all. But he didn't need light to find his way there. He had, after all, walked along this road many times before. The faint starlight, occasional lights from buildings and the sense of a hard, clear-plowed road under his feet were all the sense of direction he needed.

When he came to his old school it was already lit, a yellowish light meeting him from the windows. He tried the door and found it open. He walked in, stamping snow from his shoes.

The corridors were light, but empty, making the school building feel something like a ghost school. As Kakashi walked towards the cafeteria he could soon hear the songs of a Christmas Carol on a radio. Then he heard Anko's voice, and the song suddenly changed into mental rock. Kurenai laughed, and then switched back to the calmer song. Anko made a sound of protest.

"To be able to communicate with each other," Kurenai said as a way of explaining when Kakashi walked inside. She then turned to him. "Hey, Kakashi. Glad you could make it!"

Except for three of his friends, the room looked rather deserted. It was artistically decorated with big snowflakes cut from paper hung over the windows, lights flashing blue and white and silvery glitter-strings to enhance the feeling of a winter landscape. At the windowsills candles were lit. Kurenai's work, definitely.

"Where are the others?"

"They should be here any moment," said Asuma as he climbed down from a ladder after he had placed the last sling of colored lights along the wall. "I specifically asked Gai to tell you to come an hour earlier, knowing you'd be late otherwise," he said with a crooked grin.

"It's called being _fashionably_ late. Now I'm just unfashionably early," said Kakashi, waving the hidden insult away. He knew Asuma didn't really hold it against him – he had known him far too long to not have gotten used to it by now. "And I _can_ be in time." He just… disliked crowds. Yeah, that was all. He walked closer and bumped a bro-fist with Asuma and gave him half a hug. "It's good to see you again."

Asuma gave him a pat on his shoulder. "Yeah, you too."

"Kurenai," he greeted. He reached out his hand to her, but she just shook her head and smiled, giving him a hug instead.

"I'm glad you could come, Kakashi," she said. She wore a red, figure-hugging dress with matching red lipstick that complimented her dark, curled hair and brought out the warm tone of her eyes.

"You look beautiful," he told her, glancing with amusement at Asuma just in time to see his jaw clench. He smirked. Asuma deserved it, after what he – and his girlfriend – had put Kakashi, Gai, Tenzo and Genma through a few months ago.

Smiling, he shook his head and turned to face Anko.

"Yo."

Anko's dress was a shiny, silver-colored little thing, not at all as modest as Kurenai's. She wore stilettos – and looked like she could fight and kick ass in them with no sweat – and fishnet thigh-highs. Her hair was put up in her usual ponytail, and her hair was as spiky and wild as always – just like the glint in her eyes.

Anko hit him. Hard. Kakashi glared at her, not giving her the satisfaction of seeing him rub his mistreated arm. She glared back.

"That was," she said, "for thinking you can order me around."

Kakashi scratched his need sheepishly. "Well, you _are_ here…"

Anko rolled her eyes and embraced him, hugging him harder than Kurenai did. Kakashi smiled, pulling her closer. "It's good to see you again," she said.

"Mm. Same," he murmured back. She smelled of usual perfume. It was familiar, not an overpowering scent but definitely there, yet still today he hadn't figured out exactly what it was supposed to smell like. A little bit like cinnamon, and spicy, untamed wild-flowers, perhaps. He got the image that they had thorns.

He took Anko's wrist, seemingly absentmindedly turning her hand. Anko let him. "How are you?"

"Fine," she replied, realizing full well what he was doing but not calling him out on it. "You?"

He brushed his thumb over the pale scars on her wrist.

"Alright."

Anko nodded, not pressuring him to provide further information. She gave his hand an extra squeeze and let go.

At the other corner of the room, Kurenai was smiling over something Asuma said as he helped her put up the last decorations – this time to add a splash of color to the room.

"There! The room should be perfect now when we turn off the light."

They did, and the slow spinning of disco lights, casting spots of different colors over the walls and the strings of decoration lights lighted up the room beautifully. Kurenai kindled the candles on the tables.

Anko nudged him with her shoulder. "Are you going to stand there and let us do all the work? Come, help me in the kitchen. It's not much left; all we're going to do is a few salads. Kurenai and Asuma have already cooked everything else."

"Fine, fine."

He followed her out to the big school kitchen. Anko handed him a knife and ordered him to cut up all the existing vegetables and cabbage into eatable pieces. She started making cool yogurt dips herself.

Kakashi's eyes fell over her wrist once more before he looked away. The two pale lines were not visible from this distance, and it was comforting to know that were no new scars. She'd kept her word. Anko was strong. She had always been strong. One of the – no, probably _the_ strongest girl he had ever met, in both body and mind.

But she was still human.

Kakashi remembered too well how she had gotten those scars.

It had passed over a year, but the day still lingered fresh in his mind, refusing to fade away. They had had a school work assignment to work on together, and Kakashi, realizing it was due to the next Monday and that they still had some last-minute stuff to finish, had walked to her apartment on a Sunday afternoon.

Anko hadn't answered the door, but it had been left unlocked so he waked in – they weren't strangers, not anymore. When he had called her name, there was no reply. For a moment he thought that maybe she wasn't home and had just forgotten to lock the door – it seemed like something Anko would be well likely to do. He was about to turn and leave when something urged him to make sure the apartment really was empty before he left. Intuition, probably.

She was home, and he had found her by the kitchen table, bleeding, with a knife still in her hand and with empty beer bottles spread out around her.

He froze at the door. Anko had noticed him and the look she got on her face was so unlike her that it seemed to be another person entirely. It was the expression of someone broken, lost, confused – everything Anko _wasn't_. He had always seen her as strong, confident – she knew what she wanted and she damn well knew how to get what she wanted, too. If anything, she could almost be intimidating at times – she was sadistic, brutal and threatening, and he knew some of the tough guys were down right terrified of her even if they'd rather die than admit it. Her rage could make lesser men (or boys) piss their pants.

His first memory of her was when a foolish senior had tried to make advances on her when they were just freshmen.

Anko had sent the guy to hospital.

Everything he had thought about her was wrong and he was afraid. How long had this been going on? He had lost his mother, his father, Rin, Obito–

He barely knew her, but at that moment he knew couldn't lose her too. He didn't know _why_ or _when_ she had become important to him – they had only been acquainted for a few years. But at that moment he just knew that she _was_ , and he needed to help her.

His voice felt thick, choked, when he spoke. "Anko?"

"I…" she rasped out, and Kakashi had walked to her, taken her uninjured hand, and led her to the sink where he washed most of the blood away. He asked her where she kept bandages and when he saw a first aid box in her bathroom he fetched it, pushing a compressor to her still bleeding hacks and rolled a bandage around her pale arm.

He couldn't make himself meet her eyes afterwards, couldn't bear to see that _look_ again. He wasn't the only one who suffered, and he had been so blind to never see it before. "How long?" he managed to ask.

"I wasn't… I've never done it before, I didn't mean to. I just… I _needed_ a pressure against my wrist… and suddenly it wasn't enough with just a pressure… I felt as if I needed to cut, let it all out, and… I… I lost control. I wasn't planning in doing it. I won't do it again. I promise."

Kakashi took a gamble on what she needed and what he could do, and hugged her. He wasn't good with comfort. He wasn't good with humans at all, least of all girls. For all he knew, he had an equal chance of making it worse, but the _look_ haunted him and he had felt the need to do something – anything – to try to help. Even if he made her angry, out for blood – that would be much better than this.

She had accepted his embrace silently, motionlessly at first, but he felt her stiff body, filled with tension and stress, slowly relax, and he imagined the _look_ disappearing from her eyes. She leaned closer, nose brushing against collarbones and just breathed, inhaling his scent.

Then she had grabbed the collar of his shirt, pinned him to the wall, and kissed him.

They had been together one time a few months before, but he hadn't (and Anko had showed no signs either) wanted to pursue anything further. They were still friends, more acquaintances that friends, really, and the wish for it to be a one thing only had been mutual. However, that night Kakashi slept with her for the second time, and their drunken one-night stand turned into an open relationship, it just happened, evolved naturally somehow, all without the involvement of words and empty promises – the only promise they made each other was to live, and that was the only thing that mattered. Kakashi had always been good in bed, equal giver as taker, but that night was the first night he put someone else's pleasure above his own, it was the first time he had sex with emotions involved, and though it wasn't love, it was something that was strong enough to start healing them both.

She kept true to her promise. It had been a moment of weakness, and no more, but it had changed everything between them.

Kakashi never got to the bottom of Anko's problems. She told him what she felt comfortable sharing and he listened. Sometimes she said things he didn't understand because he didn't know the whole story. Sometimes he asked her to elaborate but he never pressured her to. He held her those few rare times she cried without demanding her to tell him anything. He didn't require commitment and she didn't expect him to be in return, though Kakashi couldn't remember even once being with another as long as he was involved with Anko and he was quite sure it was the same on Anko's end.

Being strong only worked so long, and with the longer periods of time they spent together, it was only a matter of time before she found it out too – Kakashi's haunting past. When he was the one to finally break down, months later, Anko was there for him. She wasn't even surprised when he woke at night, gasping for air after a nightmare. She just was there and that was all Kakashi needed. He supposed she had always known, somehow – just like how he knew he needed to look for her when she didn't reply that time he had showed up at her door.

Gai had helped Kakashi tremendously, but Anko seemed to be the missing part of something he needed, something he didn't even know he needed. To care for another than just himself, to help someone else. He needed Gai, but he wasn't needed by him, so when he could do something for Anko that didn't just start to heal her, but him as well. When he helped Anko, he felt like he could be stronger. Like there was a reason to life and to fight, to be brave and keep going.

"You look stressed," she commented as she helped him mix the salad while he cut the last apples to squares. Her eyes met his for a brief moment before she turned to put the bowls in the fridge. Kakashi cleaned up after them both.

It was just a few words, but that was her way of letting him know she was there, in case he needed her, in any way she might be needed. But he wouldn't pick up on it. Not now. They had broken up, and he thought it was the best to have it stay that away. He trusted Anko, but he didn't want to play with fire. The longer a relationship goes on, the likelier it was that one of them would want something more sooner or later. Neither loved the other. If they tried to drag it out for too long, it was just likely they'd lose their friendship. It was almost funny – he was the guy, the supposed sex-crazed of the two genders – but still he had been the one who put his foot down when it came to intimacy. He had enjoyed it while it lasted, but he didn't intend to be a heartbreaker. He doubted he'd ever have the power to break Anko's heart, and as of present he felt quite sure she would never be able to break his, but it just wasn't worth the chance, no matter how small it was. They both had been broken too much to get broken again by the one they had just learned to trust.

"Yeah," he replied loosely. He didn't need to say anything more. Anko could read in between the lines. He dried the sink one last time before he rinsed the tablecloth and squeezed out the water from it.

"The others are starting to show up," Anko commented as she looked out the window and he washed his hands. "Everything is set."

"Let's join them, then."

They reunited with the rest of their peers. Everyone from their year in Konoha High had been invited, but only thirty showed up. Those who hadn't been able to come had moved away from Konoha or had other plans – all except a guy who had caught the cold and needed to stay at home – but thirty out of fifty-two students on such a short notice and on New Year's Eve wasn't bad at all.

It was a happy evening. They ate together, talked and danced. Kakashi didn't really like to dance and tried to sneak away but Anko caught him and then had him dance at least once with every female classmate they had, probably as payback for that demanding call a few days ago. She even had the nerve to threaten to leak a number of sensitive photographs on the internet unless he did, and even though Kakashi knew Anko (probably) wasn't evil enough to go through with it, he paled and followed her every order the rest of the evening.

Except for when he tried to steal her phone to delete those pictures, of course.

Just before midnight, the classmates walked out on the football field. Kakashi managed to successfully snap Anko's phone for the first time. A chase followed, in which Kakashi tried to scroll through all hundreds of Anko's pictures fast enough to find the ones on him and delete them before Anko caught up to him, while Anko followed him around the school buildings way faster than anyone wearing high-heels should be able to move. Since their friends knew them, they concluded that Anko was probably just her usual, crazy self and Kakashi was completely sane to run from her when she was mad. They were left in peace to mind their own business, because nobody wanted to step between Anko and the object of her irritation.

By the time the fireworks were ready to be lit, Kakashi had already gone through Anko's phone and deleted those horrid photos she had. Then he gave Anko her phone back, and Anko pleasantly told him that she had several copies of them on her computer, just in case he wondered.

Kakashi's head dropped. Would he ever be able to exterminate those photos? This was the third time he had tried – just how many pictures of him drooling in his sleep did she have? It wasn't even like he usually did.

Life just wasn't fair.

They walked back to the others who waited in silence.

The arrows on the clock moved. A bell started ringing.

It stuck twelve.

The first rocket soared into the sky. There was the low, hissing sound and then it exploded, splatters of bright colors and light slung out over the clear night sky; colorful, falling stars rivaling the ones already present. Other people's fireworks could be seen behind the treetops, explosions sounding in the thin, clean air – some close, some echoing from afar.

"Happy New Year, my rival!" Gai shouted, tears streaming down his face over the youthfulness of it all. He jumped up and down in excitement as if he were a little boy before he hugged Kakashi and then run off to do the same to everyone else.

Anko rolled her eyes, but Kakashi just smiled, used to Gai by now. "Happy New Year, Gai, Anko," he said.

Laughs and cheers were heard as the new year was welcomed, and then they all went back inside to drink cider and eat snacks.

 **o o o**

It was around four hours later when Kakashi finally realized that he would probably be staying all night in his old school. They had planned to end the party at 01:00, but time passed and there was still things to talk about and if Kakashi hadn't know he had missed his friends before, he knew he had now. Well… at least some of them. At 04:00 it was true that most people had gone back, but a small number – the ones he got along the best with – were still there.

They were sitting in a sofa. It was pretty small, but they all had enough room, somehow. As the night had passed, alcohol and sleep depression might have loosened their sense of personal space. Kakashi had secured a corner, and he was sitting with a bottle of beer in one hand and Anko under his other arm. He didn't really know when she had gotten there, but honestly he didn't really care. She was busy sharpening a dango-stick with a kitchen knife. Next to him and Anko sat Asuma, with Kurenai in his lap – the two had stopped hiding their relationship now – and the two girls were presently discussing a new spa in town. Next to Asuma sat Genma. Gai had the other corner.

"You know," said Anko to Kurenai after the matter of the spa had been settled. "I didn't want to come here. But it has been a blast to meet you guys again. I wish it had been as boring as I told myself it would be. We'll never meet again and I'll just be miserable and miss you." She took an equally miserable swing of her beer, as if hoping to drown her melodrama.

"It has been fun," Kurenai agreed. "I was happy I got the idea of getting us together again. I really expected it to be goodbye after we finished high school."

"We could do it again," Asuma suggested, not so discreetly playing with his girlfriend's hair.

"I want to. And you're the best for helping me pull this together. But it's forever until next year."

Genma chuckled. "You're already mourning? We haven't even parted yet."

"We all _should_ go home," said Kurenai wisely.

Nobody moved to do so. Kurenai sighed happily and leaned back against Asuma with a content expression on her face. Anko blew away some splinters that had fallen on her thigh and added another sharp pin to the neat pile on the table. She picked up a new empty dango-stick.

Kakashi glanced at Gai, and remembered something. He supposed it was worth a shot – honestly he had actually had a good time so it wouldn't be bad to see them more often, and he knew Gai would agree.

"Do any of you ski?" he asked absently. A few heads turned in his direction. Gai took it from there.

"Yes! Do you?"

"I like skiing," Kurenai admitted. "I only tried once but I loved it."

"I've never tried," said Asuma. "But I would like to."

"Never had," said Genma. "It sounds interesting... but I never had the opportunity."

Realizing that the only one who hadn't really said anything was Anko, everybody's attention turned to her.

"Me?" she asked just before she took another sip on her beer, balancing the knife between two of her fingers. Then she broke out in a devilish grin. "I'm practically an Olympic. Why? Consider going?"

"Yeah. We could go together during winter break," Kakashi suggested. "Gai and I had already decided to go to the Blue Mountains. It's the cheapest place to hire equipment and still not too far away from here. Maybe we could organize something together, if anyone is up for it?"

"I would like to go," said Kurenai. "But, sadly, I'm all booked up for the winter holidays." She deflated. "But I think you should go, anyway."

"Well…"said Gai, glancing at Kakashi. "It doesn't have to be on the winter break. Maybe we can go on a weekend instead? That way there wouldn't be as many others there and we'd practically have the place to ourselves. Could that work?"

Kurenai brightened up. "I have almost all weekends free! It's really just a family thing in the middle of February that keeps me busy – my cousin's getting married. I've been to Blue Mountains once before, and I love it. It's small, but it's beautiful and it's got a few challenging hills as well. Maybe it would be boring to be there for weeks on end, but I think there should be plenty to ski and entertain for just a few days."

"How much does the hire of skis cost?" asked Genma.

"Around 50 dollars the first day, if I remember correctly," said Gai. "It's cheaper per day the longer you hire, of course."

"Hm. I think I could do that. We'd go by buss?"

"Yeah. It takes about six hours to get there or so."

"I'm free."

"Me too."

"Anko?"

"Well," said Anko, chewing on the pin that had previously held dango. "Blue Mountains are close to Yukiga, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm not sure, but I think I have an uncle with a summerhouse somewhere in that area." She took the pin out of her mouth and aimed at a pot plant by the window a few meters away. She threw it, and whistled at herself when it reached its goal flawlessly. "Not too bad," she commented. "Anyways. I'm pretty sure we could hire it for close to nothing."

Kakashi looked down at her, interest in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yep. I'll check it out."

"So, what do you say we meet at Amegakure Central sometimes at the end of January and take a bus from there to Yukiga?"

Kurenai's eyes glinted happily. "I'll check the bus rides and prizes up."

"No, that's not fair," said Anko. She put the knife on the table and dug up her phone. "Hey. If everyone whose number I don't have can add themselves to my contact list, I'll be in touch about the place. I'll be the contact person for the skiing-trip since Kurenai was for this event, and I wouldn't trust any of the boys with it."

"Hey!"

Anko rolled her eyes at Genma and looked at Kakashi. "You're too lazy. And you'd probably forget about basic human needs like food and such details." She turned to Asuma. "You're too – no, actually, you're not that bad, but that's only because you've got Kurenai to watch over you. But like Kurenai, you've already done a lot for this event." She looked at Genma and sneered. "You're too much of a guy. You'd forget."

"Gender discrimination," Kakashi murmured, but Anko ignored him.

Finally she turned to Gai. "You're too youthful and you'd overdo it. It only makes sense I do this since I know my uncle. I might ask you for help, though," she added with a smile to Kurenai. "And I'll make you boys work if needed to."

"She's too scary," whispered Genma to Asuma, and Anko smirked darkly as she slowly crushed the beer can in her hand, making it unrecyclable.

"Only Kakashi can handle that woman," Asuma agreed.

Anko threw him a dark glance and her evil smile grew. Suddenly another empty dango-stick that she had sharpened with her knife was slammed down between Kakashi's legs and penetrated into the sofa dangerously close to his groin.

Kakashi didn't even twitch and remained seemingly unmoved. One could say he had gotten used to Anko's antics, and that he trusted both Anko and her aim far too much.

Or maybe that he was just very good at acting.

The other guys squirmed, one winced, another's breath caught and all but Kakashi and Asuma (who had Kurenai in his lap) crossed their legs.

"Then it's decided," Anko said, smiling sweetly. "You'll hear from me."

 **o o o**

Kakashi wasn't really aware of when it happened or how he fell asleep, but he woke with an uncomfortable stain in his neck. All of them lay like block of pins across the sofa. Anko lay on him, her head popped on the armrest and her body spread out over his legs. Kurenai leaned on Anko, Asuma on Kurenai and Genma on Asuma. Only Gai had felt that the couch was too small for him to sleep in so he lay down on the floor.

Kakashi sneaked up as stealthy as possible and managed to do so without waking anybody up. He looked around the room – considered – for just a moment.

Then he walked home and left the cleaning to his remaining classmates like the selfless person he was. When he finally got home and unlocked the door he went straight to bed and slept like a baby.

"Obito's mother was here in the morning when you were asleep," Jiraiya informed him later that day. "I didn't want to disturb you after yesterday, but they asked you to give this to Obito if you had managed to get in touch with him."

Jiraiya handed him the letter and walked away. Kakashi stood dumb and still sleep-struck a few moments before his brain processed the meaning of the words spoken to him and everything that it would mean.

"…dammit."

* * *

 **And so Anko is introduced! I simply love her. She's such a wonderful character, if slightly less extreme in this 'real world' AU. What do you think of her and the relationship she has with Kakashi? As you can probably tell from the last scene, Obito will be back in next chapter. :) Please continue reviewing as it feeds my ambition and productivity. I hope to update in a week's time but know better than to make any promises as it is now.**


	13. Chapter 13 - Christmas Spell

**o o o**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 13 **–** Christmas Spell

* * *

Christmas break only lasted a few more days. All too soon it was time for Kakashi to return to Amegakure and his apartment there. Obito's letter, refusing to be forgotten, lay in his pocket and stayed in the back of his mind on the train ride back.

It was better to get done and over with it than to push it up. Or so was what Kakashi told himself as he made his way to Obito's place the same evening he had gotten back. It was long past sundown, but he'd have to go to college tomorrow so he didn't have many other options if he wanted to get it done before term started.

However, again, Obito wasn't home.

As Kakashi left the building he was torn between relief of not having to face him now and the nagging feeling that he would have to do it later, as well as a slight irritation over wasting time. He just wished he had been able to get over with it.

He kicked a piece of dirty snow that had fallen off a car as he walked back over the parking area. It was late now, and he had come here for nothing. He would have put the letter in Obito's mailbox or in the post-opening directly to his flat, but Obito didn't have any mailbox, and the post-opening to his apartment was nailed shut.

The last bus had already gone and passed for that day, so he had to walk home. It wasn't too far, so he didn't mind that much. The way was lit up well by streetlights, with the exception of a short part of the path that went through a less populated area. Still, the moon was full and bright, and the snow reflected the pale light on it. The air was fresh and cold and the night was quiet and calm. His eyes had gotten used to the dark on his way over here and he knew the way home. To walk seemed like a rather pleasant way to clear his thoughts.

Until two men stopped him. Kakashi had felt a slight unease as he saw them coming up, but had no choice but to meet them. When they met, they demanded him to give them anything of worth. After taking in their appearance – they were middle-aged and didn't look to have seen a gym or anything like it for at least a few years – Kakashi concluded that he could probably take them on if other means didn't work. They didn't appear to have any form of weapons or knives on them. A third man walked up from behind him, blocking any way of escape.

It was their fault if he had to toss them around, then.

In all fairness, he probably looked like a defenseless teenage guy. Not that it justified robbing, of course, but still. It was stupid to choose him as target, but they didn't know that.

"No," Kakashi answered them, plain and simply. He wanted to get home, and he wasn't going to give away anything just because some strangers told him to.

They walked closer to him. It wasn't really as threateningly as they probably intended it to be, but it was uncomfortable. Still, he wouldn't throw the first fist. People sued each other for anything these days, and someday soon Kakashi doubted self-defense would be legal.

Anyway, he intended to be completely innocent, trusting the others to find a way to make him the lawless one and not them otherwise. They were, after all, three, and he didn't have any witnesses.

Well, shit.

Still, there was the possibility there was a surveillance camera around here somewhere. It wasn't really that likely, though.

The one behind him placed his hands on his shoulders. "If you cough it up on your own, we won't have to hurt you."

Oh, well. Witnesses or no witnesses, camera or not, there was only so much he was willing to take. He could practically see it in the news tomorrow. 'Teenager Beats the Shit out of Three Elderly Men'.

But he didn't need to raise his arm.

"Leave him alone," a voice said from the shadows. Kakashi glanced at the direction, but saw nothing but the dark silhouette of a man and a white small cloud as he exhaled into the cold night.

The man stepped forward into the moonlight and only then did Kakashi recognize him as Obito. Obito's dark orbs seemed to glitter dangerously and everyone, including Kakashi, took a step back more or less subconsciously. He heard a few of the thugs gasp.

"Shit…"

"Is that Obito Uchiha?"

"We have to get out of here."

Kakashi knew of Obito's well-known status in the city, knew that he was feared, and had seen how students and teachers tripped around him at college. But to see it firsthand like this in the street was still something entirely new. The way his mere presence affected others and how he could have their sole attention with a few words demanded admiration.

The men backed away slowly before they turned and ran, disappearing with a surprising speed. Kakashi was almost proud over Obito's reputation until he remembered just how he had earned such respect. He was still left with a slightly off-earthly feeling of fascination over the exchange, though.

"I could have handled them, you know," Kakashi said. "But thanks."

Obito remained silent and Kakashi wasn't sure whether or not he should say anything more or just leave. A small part of him wondered if trading three unnamed buglers for the supposed city monster really was such a good thing. After all, there must have been a reason the smaller carnivores fled when the bigger predator entered the picture.

And yet…

It was _Obito_.

He found himself take a few hesitant steps closer. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

Obito cocked to his left, as a way of pointing at his apartment. "I live here."

"Right." Of course he did. The entire reason he was here in the first place was because Obito lived here. Kakashi felt like a fool.

"What are _you_ doing here, Kakashi?" Obito took a few steps forward and instantly Kakashi had to fight the urge he got to back away. The subtle feeling of uneasiness suddenly lurched in his guts, his eyes flicked over the empty neighborhood in the fraction of a second.

"I was just… walking."

Obito took some quick steps towards him. The movement felt oddly threateningly, and when there was barely a yard left between them Kakashi took a step back. And another. He stumbled on untrod snow, and fell back with a surprised yelp.

Obito was on him immediately, and placed one of his feet just below his collarbones, holding him down. "What do you want?" he asked coldly.

Kakashi glanced away. "Eh… I was supposed to give you this…" He dug in his jacket and pulled out the letter with only some difficulty. "It's from your parents."

"I have no interest in it."

"At least take it." Kakashi asked, holding it out and meeting Obito's glare. A few seconds passed before Obito accepted it, shoving it in his pocket.

He leaned a little closer as his boot pressed harder into Kakashi's chest, making him sink deeper into the snow. Kakashi felt snow get in under the collar of his jacket and melt against his skin.

"What now?" Obito said, looking down at him.

"I've done what I came here to do," Kakashi replied quietly.

Obito moved off him and pulled him up with a grip in his jacket. Still holding into him, Obito backed him up against a big oak tree, midnight-black eyes meeting grey in close proximity.

Kakashi held his gaze.

The look in Obito's eyes seemed to soften a fraction.

"Merry Christmas," Kakashi murmured. It was a bit late, but he hadn't had the chance to tell him earlier and at the moment, it somehow felt like the right thing to say.

"Hm."

Obito's hand lifted to his neck and slipped under his jacket to pick up chunks of snow there. The action made Kakashi gasp and Obito's eyes were pulled down to his lips and lingered there as he removed the melting snow from his neck. The icy water that ran down his back and the contrast of Obito's warm hand sent a shiver down his spine that seemed to reach deep into his marrow. He breathed out shakily.

When Obito had removed the snow his hand glided down under his collar again, making slow, circular motions with his fingers at the back of his neck. The touch felt oddly sensual, almost too gentle, yet there was nothing tentative about it. The fingers moved higher, slipped through his hair, caressing the back of his scalp, and slid down to the nape of his neck again.

Obito leaned closer. His breath hit Kakashi's lips and the hand at his neck stopped, fingers gripping softy into skin to keep Kakashi from pulling back.

Kakashi swallowed, mouth suddenly feeling dry.

A car drove by, illuminating the area for a moment before it flashed by them.

Obito's face came even closer and Kakashi tilted his head a little to his right as Obito leaned to the opposite side. He was too close for Kakashi to be able to focus on fully, and Kakashi's eyes were cast down, half-closed, not really seeing anything. He could feel heat radiating off him.

Obito leaned closer and just when Kakashi thought he'd kiss him, he just barely brushed his lips against the corner or his mouth, and then pulled away.

"Merry Christmas, Kakashi."

He turned his back on him, walking back to his apartment. The last thing Kakashi saw was him put his hands in his pockets as he disappeared behind a corner of a building further ahead.

Kakashi leaned against the trunk a few minutes. Just… what had that been? His fingers touched over his lips almost hesitantly, pulled towards where Obito's mouth had brushed over his. His heart was beating hard.

He should be feeling eased.

So why did he feel as if he'd just… missed something?

 **o o o**

When college opened at Monday morning, it was easy to get into the routines of studying again. Kakashi met up with his friends and they had more arithmetic, more history, more science and longer writing projects than the earlier term. The other half of the year always felt more intense than the first one ever did.

After the school day was over Kakashi took the bus home with Gai and the two headed out for a run before Gai had judo-practice. It was mostly Gai that insisted, but Kakashi didn't mind the idea. He had hardly done any training at all over the break and it was always more motivating to train with someone else than alone. They ran side by side, Gai taking and Kakashi mostly ignoring him. It was pleasantly familiar, and he never was much for talking himself while he trained anyway.

Kakashi hadn't seen Obito since school start, but he figured he'd be around in time. He thought sometimes about that late night the last time they had met, because for some reason it had felt different than anything that had happened between them earlier and Kakashi wondered briefly – though he hardly dared hope – that maybe Obito had changed his low opinion of him. During the end of their last interaction, he'd almost seemed… caring, or considerate of his feelings. Maybe all Obito needed was just someone who was t there, who knew who he was and accepted him. A friend.

He had a lot of anger issues, that was clear, and maybe some other more important problems too. Kakashi still wasn't all too sure about what real and what were lies or exaggerated truths, but if Obito only started to trust him Kakashi might persuade him to seek professional help. He knew Obito wasn't 'wrong in his head' or anything; he was just hurting and not handling it well. It was true that he was dangerous… after what he'd seen he could hardly deny it… but so far Kakashi had only seen him fight people who attacked him first. Kakashi knew there was more to him than what he showed. There had to be. He couldn't possibly be the common criminal everyone thought.

And if he had indeed committed murder, which admittedly seemed much more likely than Kakashi would have liked to believe, he still hoped he had had _some_ kind of reason. Self-defense. A drunken mistake _. Something_. A legit reason would make it easier to defend him in court.

Because Kakashi really hoped Obito would just come clean already.

While Kakashi _did_ believe in Obito and wanted to trust him, a small voice in his head whispered that he might be not be non-partial. Maybe he was letting their past friendship, and the confused state Obito had left him in after their last meeting, cloud his judgment. Maybe he just didn't want to accept the ugly truth. Most of the time, Kakashi tried to push those thoughts away. Old loyalties made it easier than it should have been.

As the first week reached its end, Obito had still not shown himself at the university and Kakashi hadn't been given a chance to speak of what happened between them. It didn't seem to be any use in talking about it until Obito took it up himself. As it was now it was better to wait and observe, to see what action Obito took next.

 _"I am going to make you suffer, friend killer. I'll break down your spirit… and when I'm done with you… you'll wish for death."_

There had been nothing of that present in Obito when he had whispered 'Marry Christmas' to him that night. His eyes hadn't had that stinging hate, repugnant loath or burning rage in them.

They were just... Obito.

And as his lips brushed against his, touch feather-light, barely there–

No.

He shook his head lightly, tried to clear his mind.

He was thinking too much about an action that Obito probably haven't even spent a second analyzing – something that probably meant nothing. Even though Kakashi tried to believe in Obito's 'inner good' he was fully aware that Obito touched him because it made Kakashi feel uncomfortable, and that was it.

And yet he didn't have any motives that night. Kakashi had seen it in his eyes. He had touched him just because he felt like it.

 _Fuck._

He shouldn't try to find things that weren't there to find. He must have been fooling himself. Besides, it was _Obito_ , and Kakashi didn't like him like _that_. Obito was his friend, Obito had loved Rin, Obito was annoying and he was loudmouth and a crybaby – and though Kakashi cared about him a great deal, he just _couldn't_ be interested in anything other than platonic friendship with him.

Kakashi liked girls. Sure, he found guys attractive at times and he didn't feel repulsed or disgusted at the thought of kissing another male – neither disgusted nor turned on, just… neutral. It was girls he checked out, girls he fantasized about… and though it had happened he'd glace at guys too it wasn't something he'd ever thought much about. So maybe that made him – sort of – partly bisexual if he had to identify himself as something, or maybe he just had very liberal views and an open mind, but he was still mainly interested in girls.

Of course, that neutrally had changed when Obito had pushed him up against the wall in the printing room a few weeks earlier, and since then he had been careful to not even play with the thought of being with another guy because it was dangerously possible he'd picture Obito and he just couldn't do that.

Obito had made him feel things he didn't want to feel, things he hadn't expected or been prepared to face. The thought that Obito would be honestly attracted to him was ridiculous. Control turned him on. Power. It wasn't Kakashi in particular, and it was childish to think so.

Kakashi ran faster to punish himself. He was just bored, that was all. All these times he had had to skip judo practice because of his thumb bored him to death and that was why he thought too much about these things. Once everything was back to normal, he'd be too. By the end of next week, his fingers should be all healed.

Gai took the increased pace as an invitation to a competition and soon the two of them were running for their lives in an unannounced race.

Running was better than thinking.

 **o o o**

The first week passed by fast and after his last lecture on Friday, Kakashi was more than ready to get home and get a well-deserved break from studying. He could almost taste the weekend ahead of him. Screw his homework. He'd find time to get it done on Monday, or get away with handing it in late. He always did.

" …what do you say about it, Kakashi?"

"Uh?"

"Varied training is of out-most importance!"

"Very important," he agreed absently, mostly to get Gai out of his hair. He had been talking to him nonstop during their bus ride and Kakashi hadn't been interested enough to actually listen. Maybe he was being a jerk, but he didn't care that much if it meant he could continue reading his beloved Icha Icha in peace. He had become something of a master of blocking other sounds out when reading.

Especially Gai when he got started on training.

Really, he was a master in tuning out Gai, and had yet to make up his mind about whether he was proud over that or not. But the guy seemed to be able to talk about training _forever_. He couldn't possibly be blamed. It was a survival mechanism. If he made some agreeing noises every once in a while, Gai seemed to be content literally speaking to air as long as it meant he got to talk about youth and other Gai-related things.

If he was content, and Kakashi was content, what was the harm?

The bus stopped and his friend stood up. "Then it's settled! We'll go swimming tomorrow!"

"Mhm. Goodbye Gai, have a good weekend."

The doors closed and the bus started moving again. He could barely wait to get home and down in bed and just read all weekend. Read… and eat pizza or something… if he could afford it. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was he was coming down with something and totally deserved to rest and be lazy do absolutely _nothing_. No university, no studying, no Obito, hopefully not too much Gai and–

Kakashi looked up from the book that had previously held his interest.

 _"Then it's settled! We'll go swimming tomorrow!"_

"…what?

"Oh _no_ ," he moaned sorrowfully. He had, yet again fell victim to Gai. It seemed to be a re-occurrence he just couldn't escape and it happened with a disturbing frequency.

The fact that they all could have been avoided had he only paid any attention to what the other said was promptly ignored.

 **o o o**

He had two free days in a week. Two days he didn't have to leave his snug little apartment. Two days he didn't need to meet people and force himself to socialize. Two days he didn't even need to leave his bed unless he felt like it.

One of those two, precious, precious days had now been ruined.

Gai came and picked him up the next morning, but thankfully at a relatively human hour. That might be only because the public baths only opened so early, but Kakashi had no complaints. They took the bus to one of the smaller swimming halls in hope to not have to fight the great crowds at adventure baths on the weekends.

He had not wanted to go yesterday, but as they travelled, he realized that Gai had a point. Kakashi's fingers were as good as healed, but they still needed a little more time to fully recover before he did any grips or throws in judo again. Swimming would be a welcome change to his strength and endurance training. After all, sit-ups, squats and running could only be fun and motivating for so long. Swimming would give him a full body workout without putting any needless stain on his fingers and it was a good compliment to what he usually did. He also didn't really need to talk to anyone while he swam. That was always a plus.

They paid the entrance fee and walked into the silent, quiet changing rooms and picked out two lockers to put their stuff in. Just one old man was there and they changed quickly. The place was close to empty at this early hour and only five other swimmers, most in their middle ages, were in the pools. They seemed to be accustomed swimmers, judging from their strong, powerful stokes and unchanging pace as they almost obsessively swam back and forth, lap after lap in the training pool. Only the sounds of water moving, small splashes and some low background music was heard. The air was warm and damp and smelled of chloride.

"Let's take the empty leisure pool since there's nobody ease here," said Gai.

"Good idea."

They left their towels at a bench. Gai eyed the clock, before turning to Kakashi again. "My rival! I will swim more leaps in two hours than you!"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Gai's confident declaration. Had he challenged him Kakashi most likely wouldn't have accepted, but now…

"Just try it."

They dived. Kakashi felt his hands cut through the cool water and the race was on.

"I beat you," Gai said 120 minutes later, his black hair wet and dripping just after Kakashi had touched the wall with his fingertips, finishing his 357:th lap. Had Gai been physically able to look smug, he would have now.

"By _one_ leap," Kakashi growled back between pants. "And we would have been even had I had two more seconds to finish the last lap I was on."

"Well, time _did_ run out, and I beat you!"

"Oh shut up," said Kakashi, mentally putting the blame of his defeat on Obito and broken fingers even though he knew full well that they hadn't affected his performance in the least. But he needed some way to save his ego, and while it usually wouldn't have bothered him, their scores now stood 51-53 in favor of Gai and whenever Gai had two wins over him, Kakashi would get a little grumpy. He had a reputation to maintain, and it wouldn't do to let Gai get too far ahead of him. Even if it only was in their stupid challenges he didn't give a damn about.

…or told himself he didn't give a damn about.

Besides, Gai must have gotten a lot better in judo at the time he had been unable to train, so that pissed him off even further.

"One more hour," he challenged, despite knowing that Gai had better stamina than he did, all thanks to incessant perseverance-training on his part. "And if I don't win this time, I… I'll pay for our lunch."

45 minutes later Gai was two laps ahead of him and only stretching the distance between them. It seemed, quite literally, that he had taken water over his head this time. Kakashi threw a last dark glance at the back of a shiny bowl-cut before he rolled over on back and floated aimlessly in defeat.

"You won," he muttered to Gai the next time he passed him, feeling how the score 51-53 changed to 51-54 in his head.

Just after he had admitted Gai's victory, the laughter of children was heard and a few boys at the ages of nine to eleven jumped into the pool and splashed water everywhere.

"And that's our cue to go," said Kakashi, swimming for the ladder.

He felt a wave of water wash over his head from behind, and froze.

"I am way too mature for this," he muttered as he turned around and pushed the palms of his hands through the water to drown Gai.

The water-war was on, and soon they found themselves balancing on one big, float thrown into the water and then abandoned by one of the many younger boys. They tried to push the other down into the water while staying on the platform. They got up when the pool filled with more people and by that time Kakashi had forgiven Gai for beating him in their swimming competitions.

Probably because he won the game of pushing him into the water the most times.

They baked themselves in the sauna afterwards. Kakashi considered challenging him there to see who could stay the longest to even out the scores, but he thought better of it when he realized that they would sit there until the baths closed and they were chased out or until either of them fainted from the heat, all because of Gai's crazy competition addiction and Kakashi's strong unwillingness to be beaten a third time the same day. Instead they got out and after they had showered and changed, Kakashi kept his promise by ordering hamburgers and fries to them both at the Pool Cafeteria. They spent the reminder of the morning watching (and criticizing) other swimmers through the glass windows to the swimming pools.

When they parted just before noon Kakashi felt that really, the day hadn't been too bad. And now he could even reach Icha Icha with a clean conscience!

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay, you guys. I could give you an excuse, but I don't think it's worth the bother. Thank you for all your encouragement, it had really been worth gold, and… well, I hope to see you soon again, with hopefully not such a long time-gap between this update and the next. ;)**

 **Obito only got little 'screen time here', but you can look forward to see him more in the following chapters. Have a good week and take care! As always, reviews are very much appreciated. :)**


	14. Chapter 14 - Books and Papers

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 14 – Books and Papers

* * *

Kakashi was looking for a new book in the university library. It was the middle of January, and though he had managed to hide it until now, he had been busted.

Again.

It was sad, but his literature teacher absolutely forbade him from reading Icha Icha in class. He was apparently supposed to read 'a real book' and write a recession about it. So during the break, Kakashi was in the library. Searching for a book.

It was a pain, and it was made worse by the knowledge that he already had a perfectly good book he wanted to read and write about, but because of some stupid prejudices by his teacher, he _couldn't_.

Why, the whole reason he chose literature as a subject was to be able to spend more time enjoying Jiraiya's work!

He pulled out a book randomly and browsed through a few pages, but it didn't catch his interest and he put it back. He heard the doors open and several students walk out from the library. Kakashi looked down on his watch. His lecture hadn't started yet, so he was in no hurry.

Thank God, because this seemed to take a while. He looked at another book before, discouraged, putting it back in its place too. This shelf seemed to only hold biographies and there were few things to read about that seemed more boring to Kakashi. Maybe he should give romance a try after all… Surely there must be some slightly more graphic material among the ocean of literature that could be found here. But romance tended to be so _flowery_. No, a thriller or mystery seemed like a safer bet.

He backed out to search for something new, but was stopped when his back hit a chest.

There was only one person Kakashi could think of that would sneak up on him like _that_. He should have figured something was up when the library was suddenly emptied of people – the only person Kakashi knew who could do that except for Akatsuki was Gai, and Kakashi would have heard Gai long before he reached him.

"Looking for something?" a voice spoke from behind him.

"Nothing in particular," Kakashi replied with forced casualness. For being Obito, he had actually been kind of… nice, last time they saw each other. Maybe nice was generous, but at least he hadn't made any threats. After all that had happened, Obito still made him nervous as hell, though. "Just a book for class... nothing you could help with."

Kakashi shifted to the side, but a toned arm blocked his way, and he could feel Obito's breath against his neck. He repressed a shiver.

"Well… I could use your help."

For some reason, Kakashi's gut feeling told him this wouldn't be anything good.

"Oh?"

"Yes. Get me a copy of the tests in biology we're having next week."

It took a second for the words to make sense in his head.

"Are you serious?" he blurted out. First off, wasn't that one of the most cliché bully tricks ever? It was just… lame. Even more so for Obito. As far as Kakashi knew, he couldn't care less about his grades – and definitely not enough to bother cheat on any tests. In fact, it would astonish Kakashi if Obito showed up to take them. He severely doubted Obito went to many of his lectures. The only reason he was here was because of his parents. While he had ignored them almost entirely the last few years they still seemed to carry some influence in his life, though Kakashi couldn't tell if it was that he still respected their wishes or if they'd cease to support him economically if he didn't go to college. Not that it did much use, the way things stood, but at least he made an effort. While money might sound like the most obvious motivating factor, Kakashi wasn't so sure. For what he had heard, Obito was quite self-supporting at this stage. Though his parents hadn't heard any details about his – what did they call it? – 'part-time job' words on the street had it he made quite the business in drug-dealing.

"Even if I wanted to get them, I don't have access to those," said Kakashi. He should try to speak to them again, once he had the nerve to – maybe they could help him figure Obito out. The thought of Obito using drugs concerned him. So far he hadn't seen any proof of it… unless the violence he'd seen had been a side-effect… but Obito seemed to want to be in power over himself, so Kakashi doubted he'd use any substance that would cloud his mind. Drug-use seemed to be contradictory to his controlling personality. Of course, if he wanted to escape reality, there was always a risk…

"Then _get_ access to them."

Kakashi breathed our slowly, trying to compose himself. All of this ordering around was starting to get on his nerves and maybe it was their last meeting that made him bold enough to speak against him. "Obito," he said. "If the test is next week you still have plenty of time to study. I don't want to help you cheat, but I can help you with that if you want."

Obito let his hand graze against Kakashi's hip. Kakashi swallowed.

"If there is something you need help explaining-"

"No thanks."

"I-" He was interrupted.

"But if you don't get those papers for me, _Ka-ka-shi_ …" Fingers slipped under the material of his shirt as Obito leaned closer, touching skin, breath ghosting against his ear. "I might have to teach you a lesson…" His fingers moved up under the cloth, teasingly caressing his flat stomach.

"There are bigger things to break that just fingers, you know…" One single finger ran down his stomach to his pants – the trail burned like fire. "…places… I've yet not touched…" Obito murmured darkly, making Kakashi's heart beat faster.

Sadly, 'nice' Obito seemed like a one-time thing, these days. Maybe this was just a way for him to remind Kakashi that nothing really had changed between them. Obito dropped his head against Kakashi's shoulder, and warmth instantly seeped through cloth. "I'll still need those papers, though. If you're not going to help me, I _will_ find someone else to do it."

Kakashi stiffened.

"I could always search out that little brunet friend of yours…" Obito's lips brushed against his ear, words leaving his mouth in a quiet whisper. "I can't help but wonder… has he as soft skin as you do?"

"Don't touch him," Kakashi growled, rage starting to bubble in his stomach, anger seeping through his muscles at the implication.

"Then let's see what you are willing to do to keep him safe, hm?"

Kakashi's jaw clenched. Obito was really playing dirty this time. "I'll get you those papers," he said.

"That's a good boy."

Kakashi closed his fits and trembled – but this time, not from fear as much as from anger. Obito had crossed an invisible line when he tried to pull his friends into this – Kakashi wanted to tell him that, but knew that really, Obito couldn't care less. Snapping might do more harm than good.

Obito put two fingers on his neck. Kakashi got the signal and tilted his head to the other side.

"Good," said Obito. He brushed his lips against skin and continued in a lower voice, "Now… put your arms behind your back."

Kakashi froze, unease flipping in his gut. "What–"

A hot mouth opened, closed over his neck. Sucked softly. A tongue flicked out to taste his skin. Kakashi felt his face grown warmer. It seemed to burn. The fire of anger from within him – powerful, fueling– seemed to melt into that of embarrassment – a flicking flame that consumed him, made him fall apart, rather than to give strength.

It was hard to think with Obito this close.

"Arms. Back."

"Do I… do I have to?"

"Test me." The voice was mocking, but there was a tone of warning in it. Kakashi wasn't sure he wanted to defy it.

With a frustrated sigh, he obliged him. Soon after he felt Obito's fingers close around his wrists, holding his hands together. For a brief moment, panic surged inside him. He couldn't move. He couldn't fight. The feeling of being trapped and unable to defend himself did not sit well with him at all, but he forced himself to calm down. For now, it seemed like he had to play along in Obito's game.

"Get down on your knees." The dark amusement in his voice was obvious – Obito thrived on the power-play, while Kakashi's knees felt weak and almost seemed to buckle at the order.

Obito took advantage of the weakness and pushed him down on his knees, a kick aimed to the back of his leg, one hand holding Kakashi's arms together and the other pressing his forehead roughly against the bookshelf. Kakashi barely suppressed a groan.

"You can rest your head against that." Obito said, and Kakashi took it as an order to keep it there.

"Now," said Obito, his breath tickling the nape of Kakashi's neck as he leaned down. He seemed so controlled, so calculating and cold, it was more unnerving this time than the incident that had taken place in the printing room. At least then, he'd been emotional. Human. "Moan my name…"

Kakashi's insides twisted.

"If you don't feel like you can do it on command… I can touch you… or hurt you… in certain places that might make it easier."

Kakashi pressed his head harder against the shelf. How could Obito ask him to do this? Wasn't being forced on his knees humiliating enough? It wasn't fair that he used Tenzo as a bargaining chip against him. Why was he being like this?

"Obito…"

"That won't do, Kakashi. You've got to do better than that."

"Please."

"Something wrong, Kakashi?" Obito cooed, voice a playful lilt. As if he encouraged a small child. "Come on now." The grip around his wrists tightened. Obito shifted, his body brushing against his, and the voice changed, sounded low, rough, almost growling, at his ear. "Tell me what you need me to do to you."

Kakashi let out a small gasp. This wasn't right. Obito barely did anything, so why did he react like this? Faking moans would, in the situation, be the best solution but Obito wouldn't buy it unless it sounded really good. What was even worse – what was really bothering him – was that it didn't quite feel impossible to moan Obito's name _genuinely_ anymore and yet all Obito had done was to hold him down and whisper things in his ear.

If Kakashi couldn't do it, would Obito go for Tenzo next? He couldn't put the younger boy in a situation like this because of him. He needed to do this – his pride didn't matter when it came to his friends. Kakashi's mouth felt dry, but he tried to relax and let go of that self-preserving part of him that made him hold his tongue and keep back embarrassing sounds.

Obito's teeth rasped against his neck at that moment. It was just a small sign he was running out of patience, a warning, a premonition of actions that would follow, but it was all it took. His name rolled of his tongue.

" _Obito_."

The quiet that followed was smothering, and his soft panting was painfully loud in the silence. It had been too easy. And it wasn't a moan of pain or even mercy, but rather of sexual _torture_.

What was wrong with him? He couldn't really blame himself for getting aroused when Obito stimulated… uh, intimate areas, but for a thing such as this? He was barely _touching_ him.

"Very good, Kakashi."

Kakashi wished he would just sink through the floor or be swallowed into nothingness by some invisible force. Obito's praise was the _last_ thing he wanted.

Obito let his arms go. They felt stiff and as Kakashi stood up again he shook them to get the blood flowing in them again. Considering the rate of his heartbeat, that shouldn't be a problem.

Obito pulled out a book from the shelf and pressed it into Kakashi's hands. "You'll read this."

"What?"

"I'm helping you pick out a book."

Kakashi threw it a look and quickly read the back of it. "It doesn't seem to be very interesting though," he said, trying to act casual. Normal. This hadn't affected him in any way. He had just done what was needed to keep Tenzo out of Obito's clutches.

Suddenly fingers were crawling over his stomach again, nails scraping through his shirt, and Kakashi straightened.

"Hm? Would you repeat that?"

A quick motion down his abdomen followed the words, and Kakashi's breath hitched.

"Uh…" Kakashi fidgeted, beads of sweat forming on his brow as nails clawed over the metal button to his jeans, the low rasping sound cutting into his ears. Though he was technically free, he seemed frozen in place. "I'll get the papers and I'll read this book."

"I thought so."

Kakashi almost winced.

"Give me those papers in the end of the week," Obito said before finally turning around and leaving Kakashi alone.

The door closed behind him, and Kakashi started rubbing his neck furiously as he tried to erase the feeling of Obito's lips and tongue there. Other students slowly started filling the library again – whether or not Obito was there really made all the difference. The danger was gone.

Kakashi glared at the book Obito had pushed into his hand, debating whether or not to put it back… or to hold on to it for a few days. Then he was annoyed with himself for even _thinking_ of keeping it. How much could he let Obito get to him? He shoved it back into some space between two random book and then quickly chose another one, rather absently. The dilemma of picking a book seemed abysmal in comparison to what Obito wanted him to do.

Would he really hurt any of Kakashi's friends just to get to him?

The price he'd have to pay to find out wasn't worth it. Not if it risked their well-being. Besides, how far could it be to snatch a couple of papers?

 **o o o**

Kakashi was trying to sneak into the teacher's room for the fourth time that week. He was beginning to realize he'd been wrong to underestimate the 'task' handed out to him. He could now also understand exactly _why_ this was a classic task for school-bullies to give out.

First, of course, it helped them cheat with close to no risk of getting caught.

Secondly – and this was probably the most important factor – was that it was hell for the poor guy that got the unfortunate task. It was usually a nerd, at least in books, and Kakashi mused whether or not he would be considered one. He was definitely not one of the partying people, that was for sure, and his grades were almost all As. Somehow, though, he doubted people saw his as a nerd. Personally, he preferred the term 'genius'.

Kakashi had managed to sneak in two times before, but he never had any chance of searching for long before he had to hide. The staff's room were almost _always_ occupied by at least one of the teachers. Once he had to stand pressed behind a drawer for over one hour before the room was cleared enough for him to leave. So far he hadn't been discovered – which was close to a miracle – but there were so many folders and desks that it would be really hard to find anything at all.

Kakashi had narrowed it down as much as he could. He knew he was looking for biology. He knew which year. He had learned the name of Obito's teacher. If he just found the desk belonging to that teacher, it would be a lot easier. It was step one, at least.

The thing was though, that it was possible the test had yet not been printed out in paper form. And Kakashi didn't know the passwords to the computers. If that was the case, he really didn't stand much of a chance. Genius or not, there was no way he'd be able to get into the database without a password – not within the short periods of time the room was empty and he could move freely. It wasn't that likely he'd guess right on his first try.

Also, it was Friday afternoon and time was running out.

Kakashi didn't know what Obito would do if he didn't get the papers, but after their last meeting, he didn't want to find out. Maybe he'd choose to break an arm if fingers wouldn't do it for him a second time. Or the toes. There were always those. Even something as insignificant as getting his nails crushed or pulled out seemed really unpleasant, even though it wasn't any real harm to it. And there was always the possibility Obito would take out some sexual frustrations on him – he seemed quite fond of doing that – but the worst outcome was, of course, if he pulled any of his friends into this.

And since Obito had made the threat once now, it was fully possible he'd make it again and go through with it.

 _Fuck. I need to think._

He had run into teachers before when he had thought the room was empty but it turned out it wasn't and Kakashi always had to make up some excuse for why he was there. So far it had worked, but it was only a matter of time before he was busted.

Now, Kakashi was skipping his last lessons to focus on getting Obito's stupid papers instead.

He finally managed to sneak in and quickly started looking. He found the teacher's desk he was looking for quite quickly this time – the other times he'd been there; he had had the time to eliminate a number of them. So he began by looking through the teacher's drawers and folders. The clock seemed to be running as Kakashi searched of any titles about 'biology', 'test' and 'year 1'. There wasn't any so Kakashi stared at the dark computer screen, panic growing with every minute.

There was no way he'd be able to figure out the password.

Then something caught his eye.

It was a folder half hidden under papers and when Kakashi pulled it out it said, 'Upcoming Test and Exam Papers'. It looked so surreal, that for a while Kakashi simply stared at it, figuring that it was all too good to be true and that the folder obviously must be empty or fake – a diversion for student like him intending to steal the questions to upcoming tests.

Kakashi opened it and found one test in biology. There was nothing that said what year it was meant for, but Kakashi guessed there could only be so many having biology tests next week. He'd have to chance on it.

He made a mental note that if he ever became a teacher, he'd made a fake perm for tests in case one of his students ever tried to cheat. It would be fun to have them learn the answers to the wrong questions. He might even leave it at a place where it was simple for the more dishonest students to get their hands on it, just to screw with them. He imagined sitting at the front of the classroom, watching realization on their faces as it sunk in. To see the fear in their eyes, to bask in their terror.

Of course, right now he was quite glad _this_ teacher hadn't thought of it.

…or hopefully hadn't. Honestly, he didn't know. They _could_ be fakes for all he knew, and if there were, he'd be in big trouble. But he had no other choice than to put his bet on them because he was on borrowed time now. If they'd been fakes, _surely_ she'd want to get rewarded for her efforts and put them at a place easier to find.

No. They had to be the real ones.

But he couldn't just run away with them. The teacher would miss them, maybe make a new test with different questions. And Obito would be pissed with him yet again. Kakashi took the papers to the printing-room, trying not to think too hard of what had happened last time he was here. The machine seemed to be going in slow-motion. He tried to resist the temptation to nervously glance at the door. If he only kept up his confidence, it wasn't likely anyone would question what he was doing to give it a second thought. When the copy was finally finished Kakashi put the real papers back to their rightful place, and walked out of the teacher's room.

He opened the door and met the Head principle.

"Gooday, Miss Senju," he blurted out, once again thanking whatever genes on either his mother or his father's side that allowed him to almost always keep a calm, uncaring poker-face in situations like this. "Have you seen Miss Yamanaka?"

Tsunade stopped. "Why, no. Are you searching for her?"

"Yes. Do you know where she might be?"

"No. Do you want me to check what class she teaches? I don't want to keep you here if you've had your lectures. I could give her the papers for you." She reached out a hand for them, and Kakashi's heart almost stopped.

"No, but thank you very much. I'd like to give them to her personally."

For a brief second, Tsunade seemed to be about to argue about this. As the headmaster, she, if any one, could be trusted with such a simple matter. But then she remembered that she didn't like responsibility that much, and waved him off. "Fine, fine. Whatever. Get out of here, kid." So Kakashi walked out of the room, almost sinking to the floor when the door shut behind him.

He had done it. He had actually pulled it off.

Obito took the papers the next Monday and didn't say anything more about it. Kakashi hoped he would never ask him to do something like that again. It had been exhausting.

That afternoon Kakashi went to the dojo again. He had been forced to take a break from it for several weeks to let his fingers heal enough for him to preform throws safely without injuring himself again, but his fingers had healed entirely now. He felt right at home, and after sparring with Gai and a few of the other club members, a lot of tension seemed to simply melt off his body and he felt that much better.

The next morning when he felt stiff and his muscles ached after his workout the day before, it felt like the reunion of an old, dear friend.

* * *

 **Thank you for all your lovely reviews. Longer A/N when I'm less crazy busy. Love! 3**


	15. Chapter 15 - A Matter of Possession

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 15 - A Matter of Possession

* * *

"Hello, karate-boy."

"Deidara," Kakashi acknowledged stiffly as the blond as down uninvited by their table. Tenzo straightened, and Asuma threw a gaze his direction that probably was supposed to be encouraging, but it looked pitying more than anything else. Kakashi avoided Gai's eyes. He had a feeling he'd laugh if he met a quizzical look from him, and that was not a proper reaction to the Akatsuki.

"Been kicking any ass lately, or is all you're good for being Obito's doormat?"

Someday soon, Kakashi would kick _Deidara's_ ass. It was just a matter of time. He _swore_ it was.

Deidara shrugged. "You should join. You're practically dancing to his tune as it is – why not make it official? Besides… I would _love_ to jump you in, un."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched.

Obito sat down beside him, and put his hand over his thigh – the by now familiar, silent order to keep seated until given permission to leave. The action was so common that Kakashi had almost stopped thinking of it. But instead of moving his hand away like he usually did, Obito let it linger. Kakashi ignored him and continued eating.

Akatsuki had come to their lunch table again. It happened occasionally – sometimes they ordered the others away, sometimes not, but always did the company make Kakashi and his friends uneasy.

Since not a word of Gai, Tenzo, Asuma or Genma's presence had been said, good or bad, none of them moved. Kakashi knew the only reason they stayed was for the moral support they could give him. It certainly couldn't be of the pleasure of it. If his posture was anything to go by, poor Tenzo was tense. Kakashi gave him a reassuring smile, suddenly very glad he sat crammed between Gai and Genma. Sasori sat down by Gemna's side, a bored expression on his face. The other guys – and a girl – who had shared their table moved away. Genma sighed.

"…you'd look much better looking that way, anyhow, and art is a bang. Who wants to grow old and live forever anyway, right?"

Deidara was _annoying_. He had a habit of sharing gory, explicitly told tales of beautiful ways to die at the lunch table. Sometimes he managed to get Sasori to join in the discussion, and though he had a different opinion that that of Deidara's, his versions were equally disturbing and just as stomach-turning.

Kakashi had almost forgotten about Obito's hand – _almost_ – when it moved, slowly starting to caress his inner thigh. Kakashi choked on his milk.

"Kakashi?" said Gai. "Are you alright?"

He was coughing violently – but at the moment that was good – it explained why he looked so uncomfortable (as did Sasori's sudden input about the makings of human leather).

"Yes," he said.

Obito's fingers slipped higher up, making circles over his clothed thigh.

"Uh…"

Kakashi hoped his face didn't look as warm as it felt. Thankfully, he was known for keeping a straight face most of the time, but... Obito tended to be able to put expressions on his face way too easily. He would have fought Obito off – or at least tried to – if they hadn't been in such a public space. If he pulled attention towards him, he knew Obito wouldn't hesitate to use it against it him.

A hand was put over Kakashi's, and he pulled away as if he was burnt, before he looked up to see Gai's concerned expression.

"Kakashi?"

Obito's fingers slowly crept further in. Kakashi fidgeted, and the grip tightened on him, kneading hard enough into his flesh to leave bruises. Kakashi barely managed to hold back the pained groan. Obito's grip eased, and his hand zig-zagged further until it pressed against Kakashi's crotch.

He let out a strangled noise. The blood that wasn't trying to dye his cheeks red seemed to be rushing south. "I'm _fine_ ," he gritted out in a stained voice as soon as he could speak again.

Deidara let out an amused huff.

Obito's hand stroked him through his pants. Kakashi really didn't want to react, but there were only so much thoughts and will-power could manage. Without his permission, it felt like his jeans got tighter.

Something in Obito's expression changed as he noticed, too.

He needed to get the others away from here – it was only a matter of time before they figured out what was _really_ happening. A quick glace told him most of their plates were already cleared. "Uh… Could you guys go ahead? I'll… um…catch up to you."

Sasori and Deidara gave each other knowing looks and the blond smirked that infuriating smirk of his, but his friends looked honestly confused. If Kakashi got it his way, they'd remain unknowing. They couldn't know. They just _couldn't_.

"Kakashi?" asked Gai.

"I…. have something I want to… talk with these… alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Just go. Please."

Gai was hesitant to leave him, but something in his voice seemed to convince him. Once Gai was persuaded the others followed fairly easy. They seemed eased to put some space between them and Akatsuki, if reluctant to leave Kakashi alone. Gai was even helpful enough to take away his empty plate for him, though Kakashi was far too distracted to thank him for it.

Kakashi managed to keep his poker-face intact until his friends left the cafeteria. The second after his forehead dropped down on the table, his fists clenching on each side of his head, color tainting his cheeks.

"Ugh…" Kakashi couldn't keep the sound slipping out from his lips. He felt the zipper on his pants being grasped, and Kakashi gave Obito a glance that was supposed to look warning. It probably ended up looking pleading more than anything else. "Obito. Stop."

Obito smirked and his hand moved to pull the zipper down. The sound made his insides twist. Dread and cold anticipation settled in his stomach. Sasori and Deidara – who had finally finished snickering at his expense – continued their earlier discussion like nothing happened.

"Don't do that – at _least_ not here."

Obito didn't listen to him and Kakashi bit his lips together hard not to make a sound as Obito's hand slowly slipped inside his boxers. He pressed his hot face against the table, his fists clenching so hard they were shaking. He felt fingers slid lower, and–

Fuck.

That felt _good._

Kakashi didn't dare look up. He didn't want to know how many of the students that had noticed what was happening. If they hadn't noticed, the look on Kakashi's face was sure to give it away so he had to keep it hidden. His arms came around to shield his head and shut his eyes tightly, as if trying to escape the situation, his surroundings.

Kakashi could feel Obito's hot breath on his ear as he leaned closer. It sent a shiver down his spine.

Obito's hand tightened around his cock. Kakashi pulled in a sharp breath.

"You don't like this?"

"No."

"Then I'm going to make you come… right here." Obito's hand slowly glided along his shaft.

Kakashi's eyes snapped open in alarm.

"Oh, you didn't _really_ believe me incapable of doing something like this, did you? I'm flattered you still have such faith in me. It's a pity your friends left... maybe I should have stopped them." His hand massaged him a little rougher and Kakashi groaned. "I bet they'll hear about it though… "

 _'…unless you're really quiet,_ ' were left unspoken.

Kakashi's nails scraped into the table hard enough to leave faint marks. Obito brought his unoccupied hand to his mouth and licked his fingers seductively; his dark eyes locked on Kakashi's, before he put a second hand around him. He felt his cock harden, veins pulsating underneath fingers and let out a strangled moan when Obito pulled back his foreskin. He hated feeling like this, _hated_ how his body betrayed him. If wasn't fair that all Obito had to do was to press him against a wall or brush his hand up his leg… It wasn't fair that it was so easy for him to make him feel like this.

"…Obito… please… stop." His breathing was coming out in pants. Fingers tugged at his balls Kakashi let out a wordless gasp, pleasure going straight to his groin. He didn't want to… but… if Obito didn't stop, he would really… He tried to resist, but the longer Obito continued, the greater his need for him to keep touching him became. His cock was throbbing, his cheeks on fire.

Kakashi's arms stretched out and gripped the other edge of the table, his nails clasping hard into the wood. He accidentally knocked down a glass that shattered against the floor as it fell, and he wished that an earthquake or the underworld or hell or _anything_ would open up the ground and swallow him if it only meant he would escape this embarrassment. There were so many people here, and if nothing else, the sound of shattering glass must have caught their attention. He couldn't look up.

" _Please_ ," he almost whined. Arousal seemed to pulse through his entire body and he couldn't think. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this hard. It took all his will-power to not give in and thrust into Obito's hands.

Obito's wet fingers massaged the sensitive spot under the head of his cock, his other hand firmly pumping his length. A thumb brushed over his slick slit. Obito pulled his hand out to lick his finger and taste his precome, black eyes burning into Kakashi's. His balls tensed, knuckles turning white. He was so close, but he couldn't… not so soon, he couldn't make it so damn _easy_ for him…

Kakashi shifted. He had to stop this. Now.

"Hold him."

In an instant, his wrists were grabbed and his arms were twisted behind his back. When he tried to struggle, they were pulled further back, his chest pressed roughly into the table, and he grunted in pain.

Deidara chuckled.

Obito shifted closer and he let his weight lean on Kakashi. He could feel his warm breath against his neck, the body heat through their clothes. Obito's hands were merciless; every movement brought unwanted pleasure. He couldn't pull free, couldn't get away. He realized he was shaking.

"Kakashi…" The voice was rough, dark. His movements picked up speed and force and Kakashi's lips parted as his breathing grew more shallow and rapid. He could barely breathe. The tip of Obito's tongue traced the shell of his ear, before he spoke again, his voice even lower. " _Come_."

His muscles tensed and as soon as the order left Obito's mouth, warm seed spilled into his pants and Obito's hands in what felt like an intense explosion. A jolt of heat and pleasure seemed to shot through him, entwined with the feeling of release and utter _horror_. If there was anything worse than coming by Obito's hand in the university cafeteria, it was coming when Obito told him to.

When Obito pulled his hands out of Kakashi's pants, he didn't say anything. He didn't need to.

Obito and Deidara left him, still leaning down over the table, trembling and panting. He felt so used and disgusted with himself and most of all, so utterly humiliated. He wasn't getting _anywhere_ , he was only being played like a puppet and hell, he had even enjoyed it. Mortified, he zipped up his jeans and hurried out to lock himself in a toilet and try to clean up the mess.

 **o o o**

When he walked out from the toilet, Deidara was leaning lazily on the opposite wall. A touch of curiosity was in his eyes and he had obviously been waiting for him. Kakashi considered locking himself in the toilet again, but didn't want to seem to be intimidated by him, because he sure as hell wasn't. Like the cocky bastard Deidara was, that would be the thing he'd assume if he retreated.

"Seriously," said Deidara conversationally as he started walking by his side, "It's not every guy he'd take the trouble of giving a hand-job."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. Again. He didn't need to be reminded of it – especially not by Deidara. He stopped, fists clenching. He'd already been pushed enough today, and he didn't know how much more he could take. Deidara came to a stop as well – he didn't seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere and he kept talking as if he hadn't noticed they had been walking in the first place.

"You're pretty good-looking, but still. I would have expected him to have killed you off by now, un. What the hell happened between you two?"

Kakashi wasn't in the mood to deal with Deidara or anyone from the Akatsuki at the moment. All of them were slowly driving him insane and he wished the stupid gang never had been formed in the first place. "None of your business," he said as he turned to walk away from him, but Deidara grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Annoyed, Kakashi closed his eyes and counted backwards from ten, trying to keep his temper under control.

Deidara chuckled. "You haven't forgotten what happens to anyone who disrespects the Akatsuki, have you?"

"Let me go," he growled. He couldn't help but notice that Deidara had really funny looking scars on his arms. It looked almost like they had been pulled off and then sewn back on. Maybe they were just self-infected or…

"Ah." Deidara noticed where he was looking and answered his unspoken question. "That would be Obito's doing, un. Now," He jerked Kakashi back against his chest, voice dropping. "Answer me, or I might decide to test-drive Bito's toy."

Kakashi clenched his jaw in irritation. "I'm _flattered_ – and nothing against you personally, of course," he said, voice dripping with irony, "but blonde girls are really not my type. Tend to prefer brunettes. Try Sasori instead."

Deidara growled, and pushed Kakashi up the wall. It was worth it. Deidara didn't really look that feminine – he had long hair, yes, and it was possible to mistake him for a woman from a distance or at a quick glance, but at a closer look his other features was quite masculine. Still, Kakashi had felt the urge to comment on his appearance ever since he… well, at least ever since Deidara had shoved him down into the asphalt in front of Obito. Kakashi knew it must be a very much worn out topic, and admittedly a pretty lame one – as it wasn't really an insult in the first place. Being a girl – or looking like one – was not a bad thing. But it provoked Deidara. Maybe because few actually had the nerve to say it to his face. And it _always_ provoked those who felt they needed to prove their masculinity.

"How _dare_ you?" Deidara hissed.

"Let him go," said Sasori, approaching from behind a corner. He rolled his eyes in annoyance with Deidara's behavior. "Stop being so immature. If Obito sees this– "

"I don't fucking care!" Sasori's sudden appearance seemed to – maybe reasonably after the comment Kakashi just had given him – anger Deidara even further. He pulled out a knife, but Kakashi's right hand was free, so as long as Sasori didn't meddle, he shouldn't have any trouble to disar–

" _Deidara_!"

Kakashi and Deidara both froze. Deidara's hand was suddenly lacking any form of weapon, and Kakashi has stopped in the middle of his maneuver, his fingers half-closed around the other's wrist.

Kakashi's eyes zoomed out to focus on Obito. He had somehow managed to snap the knife out of Deidara's fingers, and he looked quite intimidating when he glared darkly at the blond. He slowly shifted his attention back to Kakashi, eyes sweeping over his form, searching, apparently, for any injury Deidara might have inflicted. When their eyes met Kakashi looked away. He was relatively sure he could handle Deidara alone, but Obito… he could not. Unfortunately his human shield decided to disappear at this moment.

What a chicken.

Or maybe he just wanted to keep his arms. If that was the case, Kakashi couldn't really blame him. The feeling was mutual. Losing the ability of some of his fingers for a few weeks had been bad enough. In a weird way, Deidara was Obito's puppet as much as Kakashi was whatever he said.

"I'm sorry, man. I forgot, un," he muttered. He threw an accusing look at Sasori – apparently, he felt that the redhead should have informed him of Obito's advancement rather than to lecture him. "He just pisses me off."

"If you forget again… that will be the last thing you do."

"Yeah, got it."

Deidara threw his claimed knife one last look, but wisely choose to not mention anything about Obito returning it. As Kakashi watched Deidara and Sasori leave, he quickly tried to walk away, too. He was stopped when Obito seized his wrist and pushed him back, pinning his hand against the wall over his head. Obito locked him to the wall with his body, his dark eyes searching Kakashi's avoiding ones. The small difference in height – Obito was a just a little bit taller – became noticeable, and Obito used it to his advantage. Though Kakashi suspected he'd outgrow Obito in a few years it didn't make the penetrating gaze of his any less effective. Despite himself, Kakashi felt intimidated.

Also, his breathing was already turning shallower.

Dammit.

"Don't do that again," said Obito.

"Do what?" He couldn't remember doing anything that should anger Obito. He'd been walking as if on glass around him! This was ridiculous. What was Obito's problem?

"Don't let Deidara touch you."

"I didn't–"The fire in Obito's eyes shut him up and he decided it wasn't worth arguing about it. "Whatever."

Obito leaned closer. "Don't move," he murmured against his skin. The knife was put under his jaw, cold metal resting against his jugular. Obito's lips trailed down the left side of his neck.

"I should just kill you, Kakashi." The knife was pulled across skin – a light sting was felt as the sharp blade broke it– and he felt blood tickle as it run down. Kakashi's pulse accelerated. "To just… get over with it…" His voice dropped lower. The blade sunk deeper. "It would be so _easy_ …."

Kakashi swallowed. "Rin wouldn't have wanted you to do any of this," he said, maybe as a last desperate attempt to bring him back to sanity.

"Rin is dead," Obito growled. "Because of you. Don't ever say her name again."

"Obito–"

"Nothing matters anymore," he said, softer this time. His mouth had now reached the curve where his shoulder began. "All you need to remember is that you're mine." To his ease, the knife was pulled away. Obito's thumb moved over the cut, smearing the liquid into his skin. His warm tongue came out to lick the other side of his neck, and his teeth rasped against it, making him shudder. "…I'll help you remember." With that he let his teeth sink into flesh. When they drew blood, Kakashi couldn't help but to cry out. The pain was piercing, and his whole body went rigid. Obito covered Kakashi's mouth with a hand to muffle the sounds of protest Kakashi made as he his teeth sunk even deeper. The grip around his wrist tightened, and Kakashi's fingers twitched. The pain thudded through his entire shoulder, neck, seemed to reach down the nerves in his back.

When he finally pulled away, blood was dripping from his chin. Obito wiped it away with the back of his hand. The crimson only smudged. Gasping, Kakashi tried to catch his breath as his hand gripped over the stinging wound. A warm flow of blood ran down over his collarbone and under his shirt.

Leaning heavily at the wall behind him, he winced. Kakashi looked up at Obito, his eyes hurt and accusatory. Obito's lips curled upwards in a wicked grin as he put his hand in Kakashi's hair, tugging it backwards so Kakashi's throat was exposed. The thin cut left behind by the knife smarted as the skin was stretched, and Obito nibbled at the sensitive skin there.

"Don't let anyone but _me_ touch you."

A voice rung out from the beginning of the corridor, interrupting them.

"Kakashi! Where are you? We'll be late for class!" Gai called.

"Hey, he's there," Kakashi heard Asuma say, further away. Obito let out an irritated sigh at being disturbed, but stepped back from him and turned to leave. When his friends came closer Kakashi tried to hide his injury, but didn't have time to conceal it.

"Kakashi. What the hell happened to you?" When Gai came to support him, Kakashi let all his weight fall on his green-clothed friend. He was so exhausted.

Tenzo made a face. "That looks really ugly. Did Obito do that?"

"He bit you?" Asuma asked, face one of disbelief. Thankfully, the line left behind by the knife was so thin it appeared not to be too notable; the crude bite mark pulled much more attention towards it.

"Yeah," he said. There was no use in denying it – they'd seen enough to draw their own conclusions. This wasn't something he could just explain away.

"It's bleeding quite a lot, we should get to the nurse's office."

"No, I– "

"Kakashi, if that gets infected– "

Kakashi hated hospitals and all locations reminding him of one, but right now he was too tired to argue. Also, the fact that it was a bite did ring a warning bell. It needed to be looked at. "Fine," he said, putting an end to the long, drawn-out would-have-been-persuasion.

With Gai on his right and Asuma on his left they walked to the nurse's office where Kakashi got his wound cleaned. Kakashi didn't want to tell on Obito, but Gai had told the situation before he had time to open his mouth.

The school nurse's mouth was straight as a ruler as she listened to Gai, and she quickly cleaned and disinfected Kakashi's wound, her stern face unwavering throughout their story. "Did any of you happen to take a picture or recording of what happened?" she asked as she put on a wide plaster over his wound. "There."

"No."

Shizune washed away the blood and must have noticed his cut, but thankfully she didn't comment on it. After all – it could have been anything, really. It wasn't any bigger than a paper cut. "I'm truly sorry," she said. " We are really working on solving this problem, but… it's a hard case. We used to have hidden surveillance cameras but Obito's gang destroyed everyone. I don't know how they managed to get away with everything. We've tried to take it to court, but there's always lack of evidence. Witnesses get threatened or even killed. The old principal couldn't handle the situation at all. I really hope Tsunade will be able to do what he couldn't."

"But we can't let Obito continue to abuse Kakashi this way!" shouted Gai.

Kakashi fixated his friends with charcoal eyes. "Don't have anything with him. I swear…" His voice was serious, and while the others didn't know everything, Gai did. What Kakashi really said was that if he lost someone else of his precious people, he wouldn't be able to keep going. To lose someone else, especially if it was because of _him_ would crush him. Gai furrowed his thick eyebrows, clearly not happy about it, but listening and accepting Kakashi's silent request, at least for the time being. Kakashi turned to Shizune. "I'll try to get the evidence you need."

"I suggest staying away from Akatsuki entirely, and especially Obito," said Shizune. "He's up to no good. Let us handle this unless you happen to come by an opportunity."

"Avoiding him might be too late," said Kakashi. "He's… kind of searching me out."

"I see. In that case, I'll ask you for help once I've got something. Sounds good?"

"Yes." He needed to do _something_. He couldn't let Obito run free and sink deeper, commit worse crimes. He had to stop this. If Kakashi couldn't get through to him by words, there wasn't much else left to do but to involve the police. He didn't want Obito in prison, but perhaps there he would at least get psychological help.

"Do you want to stay here or go to class?" said Gai.

"I'll go if you help me get there. I feel… a bit lightheaded."

"Of course, Kakashi! We're going to the same class, so do you want to ride piggy back ride there? It will go a lot faster and I've heard it's a perfect way to train!"

Kakashi's left eyebrow twitched – for the third time that day – at the mental image of him riding on Gai's back through the university. "No. We'll walk. Just lend me a shoulder."

Gai took off his green sweater and held it out to Kakashi. When Kakashi only stared at it, he explained, "Your shirt is blood-soaked. I'm guessing you don't want the others to see… that." He gestured at Kakashi's neck. "This beautiful garment has a tortoise neck, so you need not worry about that anymore, my rival!"

"Um." Kakashi hesitated one second before he doubtfully accepted the jumper from him. "Thank you."

Asuma made a snorting sound and he tried to hold back laughter when Kakashi put it on. Tenzo's face turned red as he covered his mouth with his hand and spun around. Genma's jaw fell so he dropped the stick he was always chewing at. Gai gave him a blinding smile and thumbs up, telling him that green spandex really was his type of clothing and that he should wear it more often.

He tried to ignore the laugher heard throughout the corridors as he walked towards his class and hoped that he would be spared the misery to pass any mirrors.

This day… _everything_ about it had just been too much.

* * *

 **Thank you for all your reviews and feedback. I really appreciate it. What do you think of Obito's behavior? What should Kakashi do – will he be able to fight him? I'll try to publish chapter 16 sooner than usually… all I have left to do is to read through it and spellcheck. (Notice any words misspelled? As always, let me know!) I'm only human. XD**


	16. Chapter 16 - Hall of Fame

**First of all, I wanted to apologize for the delay. This chapter is pretty short, but it's better than nothing and I hope to update with a longer chapter next time. I had promised you a faster update, but shit happens. It seems impossible to get any time to write these days. I had counted on two weeks break from school after the end of term exams, but this storm had to come an postpone everything – which was why I lacked internet for a few days. The week I was going to dedicate for writing and reading fanfictions simply disappeared, as I had promised to visits one of my friends on the island she comes from. Which, in short, means no writing, no computer and no internet. I'm happy to visit, though. Just a little… daunted. I'm not much of a people-person.**

 **I would also like to thank you for all your lovely, lovely reviews! They warm my heart and make me squeal in happiness like the little piglet I am. I'll reply to them (I hope) as soon as I get the time to, but be sure to know I read them all and that they really mean a lot to me. Thank, you guys, you're the best!**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 16 - Hall of Fame

* * *

It was still morning.

He had only had one class – and he had hardly even spoken to anyone today.

He really hadn't had the time to do _anything_ , and yet Obito was stalking towards him, radiating menace. Kakashi didn't know what he possibly _could_ have done to earn Obito's wrath again in less than twenty-four hours, but it must have been something as Obito's fist pummeled into the looker next to his head, causing it to buck inwards, a dent forming after his hand.

Kakashi was rather pound over not flinching.

He probably should have tried to silence Gai before he spilled the story to Shizune, but he really didn't picture the older woman as unwise enough to take it straight up with Obito. Actually, she had seemed alright, she understood the situation better than Kakashi would thought she would – so what was it that had rubbed Obito in the wrong way this time?

Obito glared holes into his skull. Kakashi met his eyes with careful indifference. The bite on his neck smarted as if it reacted to Obito's presence, though Kakashi knew it probably just was the sudden proximity that reminded him of its existence. The corridor was filled with students, and a quite a few of them had already started glancing their way, whispering things to each other.

Obito grabbed Kakashi's shirt and pulled him closer. "Didn't you listen to a thing I told you yesterday?" he hissed.

" _What_ did I do this time?" It wasn't his intention to sound exasperated, but he was bloody tired and it was way too early to deal with this shit.

Obito clenched his jaw, clearly annoyed with him. While his eyes were dark and dangerous, they were also unusually intense. "You are _mine_ ," he said. " What the hell did you think you were doing with that– that other guy, acting all _cozy_ and wearing his clothes?"

It took a split second before realization hit, and when it did Kakashi got the urge to roll his eyes – Obito was acting like a jealous child. He didn't. Jealous children didn't kill people, Obito, on the other hand, might.

"Gai just helped me to class," he said. There was no use in keeping his name secret – if Obito wanted to, he'd learn it from anyone he asked. Gai wasn't exactly easy to forget and he stood out far too much to blend in with crowd. Secrecy wouldn't offer any protection. De-dramatization of the situation would, however. "And I borrowed his sweater. It's really no big deal, he's my best friend." Immediately after he had said that, he wished he could take his words back. Something Kakashi didn't have time to define flashed through Obito's eyes before they darkened significantly, irritation changing into anger.

He really had no idea that Obito would react like that at a mention of a new best friend… or why. The word had just slipped out – Kakashi had focused on clarifying him as a _friend_ to pacify Obito, and he had expected Obito to be jealous of that friendship. From what Obito had told him, he only wanted Kakashi to suffer, but this reaction made him suspect that something part of him still wanted to be his friend. It felt stupid, because of course nobody, not even Gai, could ever take his place. Obito was the one who refused to be a friend to him at all, refused to forgive him. Obito's reaction, however fleeting, suggested a different feeling that what he said.

Kakashi put a hand on Obito's shoulder. "Obito, it's not like I've replaced you. I–"

"Shut up," he snarled, slapping Kakashi's hand away. "I don't care. I could just get rid of him…"

"No. Obito, you can't. You _wouldn't_."

Obito walked closer, eyes gleaming darkly. "Do you want to test that theory?"

Kakashi's eyes narrowed. Trying to remain calm, he replied silently. "I won't let you. I'll do anything to protect my friends. If you have a problem with me, don't pull them into it."

"You couldn't protect Rin," he spat. "Why would your _new_ friends be any different?"

Kakashi bit his teeth together. Of course Obito would take up _that_. "They don't have anything to do with her," he said, still speaking quietly.

"Fine. I won't pull your _boyfriend_ into this. I'll just show everyone you belong to me instead."

Kakashi didn't bother arguing with him at the choice of words. An argument really wasn't worth it, and Kakashi was above such petty insults, if that was what it was supposed to be. Instead he breathed out, eased – before his face jerked up to look at Obito as his brain registered his last sentence, causing a twinge of unease.

"Wait, you'll what?"

Obito pulled him out to the middle of the corridor, and then roughly shoved him backwards. Unprepared for the assault, Kakashi lost his balance. Obito straddled him almost instantly and grasped one of his wrists in each of his hand, pinning them to the floor.

With a surge of panic, Kakashi met Obito's eyes. He wished he hadn't. There was no amusement in his eyes, and they drilled into him mercilessly. His glare was cold, but the corridor suddenly felt campy and uncomfortably warm. A thumb rubbed deliberately against the wrist of his trapped left hand. By now, most students nearby had stopped moving and were staring at them, murmuring and whispering things to each other. More and more students gathered and when they saw the scene they stopped. Eventually the crowd itself started to attract people. Kakashi felt his face flush hot as a circle slowly formed around them. He twisted to get free, but Obito refused to ease his grip.

Instead, he leaned closer. "This is perfect, actually… "he murmured. "You don't like it when I touch you and you've always hated crowds. Not much a fan of preforming in public, are you?" Obito's head dropped, his voice got lower. "Well, don't worry about it… You don't have to do anything… I'll take care of it."

Kakashi's breath got caught in his throat.

Obito let go of one of his hand, allowing it to trail down his chest. His other had tightened in warning. "If anyone tries to mess with you after this…" he whispered, "they'll either be stupid or have a death wish."

He started pulling Kakashi's shirt up with his free hand. Kakashi squirmed uncomfortably under him, but didn't dare to try to fight him off. To embarrass Obito in front of so many people would be dangerous and he'd be sure to pay dearly for it, _especially_ if he succeeded. With so many eyes on them he couldn't possibly use force to get free. To question Obito's superiority was risky, and to defy him in the eyes of the public would be suicide. If he tried, he would be made an example of.

Obito adjusted so that he could let his face sink down against his abdomen. His warm breaths on bare skin gave him shivers and when Obito parted his lips to kiss him there, his stomach twisted. Kakashi breathed in sharply.

"Obito, enough. Stop."

Obito's tongue slowly left his mouth to assault Kakashi's body. He moved slowly higher up – which, admittedly, at least was the preferable direction – tasted his skin, the warm muscle licking him sensually as his free hand pulled his shirt up even higher. Was he insane? Here, of all places? And–

Oh, fuck. That felt _disturbingly_ good.

" _Obito_!"

Kakashi threw his face to his right side, his breathing coming out in jagged gasps. Obito's tongue felt like molten lava, and his lips left a cool trace behind them. In a more pirate setting, between two consenting people, the contrast would have been delicious. But here, their every action was observed, and Obito's intention was to make a point – to humiliate. Consent would have been contradictory to his goal.

The contrast was _still_ delicious.

Kakashi hated Obito for it.

There was even more people around them now, but he couldn't make out if his friends were among the them. The air was full of whispers and murmurs, most of them Kakashi couldn't distinguish, but there was a few he couldn't help but hear.

"Shouldn't we do something?"

Obito pushed his knee between Kakashi's legs, and then his other, using both of them to part Kakashi's thighs. A whimper caught in his throat.

"Poor guy."

When Obito was sure Kakashi wouldn't try to get away he let his go of his grip completely, using both hands to caress Kakashi's body. Kakashi's fists clenched.

"Is he really going to…"

Obito's mouth came higher up and closed over his left nipple, making Kakashi suck in a sharp breath through his teeth. Some in the crowd began cheering Obito on. Kakashi fidgeted.

"Hey, teach. Aren't you going to do anything?"

Obito's knee pressed harder against his groin. His cock seemed to be pulsing with heat. If he had thought the cafeteria scene had been bad, this public humiliation was _smothering_. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. His own reactions to what Obito did to him only shamed him further. Worse of all it was almost as if this entertained them, and it made him feel sick. Were his friends among the crowd? They couldn't see this – they would step in, and Obito might turn his rage towards them. Kakashi had asked them to stay out of it; but even if they tried to listen to his wishes there were no way they let this slip by without doing anything – least of all Gai.

"Obito…" he pleaded. "No more."

Obito's darkened eyes met his. "Then tell me," he demanded. "Tell _them_."

Kakashi was confused for a second and Obito bit softly on his nipple. The sensation when straight to his groin, and he jerked in protest. Obito held him down. He remembered yesterday's words, and understanding kicked in.

"I'm yours," he panted, "Only yours."

"Not good enough," Obito murmured, licking Kakashi's skin. One of his hands moved lower to glide alongside the edge of his pants. Dread settled in his stomach.

"I belong to you," he said, a little louder. His face burned. His heart was beating so fast he was sure Obito could hear it.

"Say it again."

"I belong to you." Kakashi felt desperate. He needed Obito to stop, now, before things got too far out of hand, and before his friends appeared to the scene. Before anyone got hurt. "You alone… No one else can touch me, only you."

"Who?"

"You," Kakashi breathed out shakily when Obito's fingers continued to caress him, playing with the hem of his pants. A hot tongue dipped into his bellybutton. Kakashi's fists clenched. "Obito… Obito Uchiha. I belong to him, _you_."

Kakashi felt him smirk.

"That's right. And don't ever forget it. You're mine, Kakashi." He finally let him go as he stood up. "Follow me."

Kakashi pulled down his shirt, and wordlessly scurried after him, away from all curious eyes that tried to follow them. The thought of turning away to the opposite side and just _run_ entered his mind, but it seemed foolish. Cowardly. Reckless. It wasn't something he could just do without thinking the consequences through.

Because Deidara had been right. Obito seemed to have an obsession with control. And he seemed to be as good as rumors said at messing with his victims' minds – at least he was with Kakashi's. He made him say things he didn't mean and somehow mean them, he made him feel things he didn't want to feel and do every little thing he told him to, only because he knew it would be worse if he tried to resist. Everything Obito did or made Kakashi do fucked with his mind, almost made him believe that… he really was Obito's possession.

 **o o o**

Obito led him towards the P.E. building again – most likely because it wasn't used today, and a good place to go if one wanted to be left alone (and had the key to get in there).

Immediately after he's walked in Obito seized his shirt and pulled him closer. He turned him around and slammed him into the wall. His lips came to graze against his ear.

"Should we… continue this, Kakashi?"

He shuddered.

Obito breathed out an amused chuckle. Kakashi felt weak, powerless, against Obito's assaults. He shivered, heart thundering in his chest, sweat beading on his brow. Obito's hand was half-way down his pants when the door was jerked open. Kakashi stiffened at the sight of his friend glaring a hole at the back of Obito's head.

"Kakashi," said Gai, his voice unusually strained. "We've got a lecture. Let's go."

" _You_ again," Obito muttered, disgust and loathing just barely concealed in his voice. "He's not going anywhere," he said coldly. The chill running down Kakashi's spine made him suspect Obito might be thinking of ways to get rid of Gai – _permanently_. If Gai had any sense of self-preservation–

"Yes, he _is_."

Obito tensed – making Kakashi tense, even further.

 _Shit._

"It's okay, Gai," he said, hoping to flatten out the harm already done. Really, now must be the _worse_ time possible for Gai to approach Obito. His sounded much calmer than he felt… something, at least.

"It is obviously _not_ ," Gai insisted.

"Gai, was it?" Obito let him go, turning around towards the door opening. He managed to take a step towards him, but before he had time to go any further, Kakashi caught his wrist.

"Don't," he warned.

"Heh." Obito turned back to him. He threw a last glance at Gai. "You can watch," he decided. His mouth closed over Kakashi's jugular, just above a plaster he wore to hide the bite he'd been given the day before. The intense sucking would no doubt eave another mark, and it sent a surge of heat through his body. His cock throbbed. His protests caught in his throat.

Gai's eyes narrowed. "Let him go."

Obito, thankfully, ignored him this time. Kakashi looked away. "Just… leave it."

Obito pressed closer, forced a thigh between his legs – pushing up so hard against Kakashi's groin it hurt. It only aroused him further – his mind was so cloudy he couldn't seem to think. Obito grabbed one of his ass-cheeks roughly, making Kakashi gasp. He didn't want Gai to see this – he really didn't, and though the situation was more than disturbing, at the moment it was hard to focus on anything but Obito. He was so close. His scent was intoxicating. The things he did with him mouth… Was there even any way he could stop this without making it worse?

Obito's hand glided along the underside of his thigh, lifting his leg up. "What position… Kakashi?" His heart jumped, and he almost whimpered. Obito's eyes glittered, and he rocked his hips sharply against him, drawing a second gasp from Kakashi. "Against the wall?"

"Stop this, Obito," he begged.

"Stop?" Fingers kneaded harder into his thigh, earning another sharp intake of breath. "No."

Suddenly Obito was pulled off him, and a second later the Uchiha was slammed into the floor.

Kakashi blinked in shock.

"I told you… to let him go," said Gai, glaring fiercely at Obito, before his eyes turned back towards Kakashi with concern. "Are you aright, my rival?"

Kakashi looked at him in disbelief.

"You _didn't_."

"I did." Both watched Obito for a moment. He grunted in pain – these stone floors were _hard_. "…we should probably go before he gets up, though," said Gai.

Kakashi agreed, but he still hesitated to just leave him like that. "Maybe… we should check on him."

"I think it would be wisest not to. Don't worry, he didn't hit his head." Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him. "Much," Gai added, quietly.

Obito stirred.

Gai grabbed Kakashi's hand and ran out from the P.E. building.

"…was that… necessary?" Kakashi asked once they were at a safe distance from a provoked, and, by now, most likely furious gang-leader. If Obito hadn't had a reason to be pissed off before, he _certainly_ had one now. Kakashi was, of course, referring to Gai preforming a damn near perfect example of a Judo throw from behind on _Obito_ of all people.

No. Self. Preservation. What. So. Ever.

"He'll be fine," Gai reassured him. Kakashi didn't doubt much he would be physically… but his pride was most likely _badly_ injured and at this point, he would be out for blood. It was not something that would help him grow more stable. "You should worry about yourself. Look at the time."

"Shit."

"Yep."

"You know, Obito _is_ going to kill you."

"We can take him on together any day."

Kakashi shook his head. "No, you don't get it. He was caught off guard. I've seen him take on ten good fighters at the same time and _win_." There wasn't much Gai could say to that. He, if anyone, knew Kakashi rarely complimented other's fighting skills, so if he said someone was good, they were really _good_. "...not to mention he has supposedly over fifty men at his disposal."

"It's only four seconds left!"

Kakashi paled. Miss Yamanaka didn't tolerate absence from her lectures, and she was really terrifying if any of her students came late.

If they didn't hurry, she would finish them off them before Obito got the chance to.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading. I might or might not have the time to update one more time before I go away on Friday. A little teaser for next chapter – we get to see Anko again. There will also be a little more plot, and a little less Obito. Now, let me know what you thought of this chapter! :D**


	17. Chapter 17 - Going North

**o o o**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 17 - Going North

* * *

The end of January came, and the date they had all decided on to go skiing at the class reunion approached. Since that dreadful time Obito had made him confess to practically the whole university that he 'belonged to Obito' the Akatsuki leader had left him mostly alone – but sometimes all it took was a menacing look from Obito to make his knees feel weak.

It felt… rather pathetic, honestly.

There were a few more violent news about the Akatsuki again and Kakashi himself got known as the guy you 'didn't touch if you wanted to live' – in fact, Obito's public display had made rumors started about whether or not he was a part of the Akatsuki, too (which gave him a few looks, both dirty and terrified) though the most common assumption was that he was one of Obito's many victims. With the exception of his friends, people didn't really approach him anymore so interactions between him and other students had been stained these last past days. What was even more annoying was that many of the teachers avoided talking to him directly as well. Well, the school nurse still did – she had stalked towards him the day after Obito's 'attack' in order to tell him her door was always open for him if there was anything _at all_ he needed or wanted to talk about. She seemed rather braved by anger, and kept throwing scornful glances at the other teachers who passed – probably because none had bothered to stop Obito yesterday when she had had a day off, and, either way, most likely would have been stuffed in the nurse's office and not heard about the incident until it was too late.

But, despite all that had happened, Obito hadn't attacked Gai yet, and as long as that lasted Kakashi felt rather gracious towards him.

Anko got in touch with him, and finally told them to meet her Friday the 26:th at Amegakure Central in time to catch a bus that left at 17:00. She'd gotten the house she had spoken of for the weekend for free as long as they promised to clean up after them. Gai was very excited to go, and talked about it almost non-stop as soon as the date had been decided. When Kakashi discovered that the zipper to his backpack had broken, Gai joyously offered to put Kakashi's things with his, before he went straight back to talking about what a beautiful, green beast he was, skiing. Kakashi rolled his eyes and accepted, but nevertheless made sure to not pack too heavy – they were just going for a few days, after all. A spare set of clothes, a toothbrush and some outdoor clothes were pretty much all he needed. He packed it all within a few minutes in a plastic bad, handing it over to Gai before he went home Thursday night so he could stuff it in his bag.

After their last lecture on Friday, he and Gai took the bus to central where they met their friends.

The bus they got on was packed with people, but it would most likely empty out as they drove north. They placed themselves in the back of the bus, seven in total; Asuma and Kurenai sat and talked at the seat in front of him and Tenzo – the only one not from Konoha High – while Gai, Genma and Anko – the only one not presently attending Rainbrook University – sat on the seats the furthest back with them. Poor Tenzo looked rather motion sick, and would probably have preferred to sit in the front of the bus, but the others wouldn't let him move anywhere. Kurenai gave him a pill against motion-sickness so he soon felt better. After introducing Tenzo to Anko and Anko to Tenzo – one which thought the other terrifying, and one which thought the other adorable – they spent the beginning of their six-hour bus ride discussing how they would sleep. The cabin they had lent only had two rooms with two beds single beds each but there were a few extra mattresses and a sofa they could use. It was decided that the girls would share a room and Asuma and Tenzo would take the other while Gai happily offered (in both his and his rival's place) that they could sleep in the living room on mattresses with the much protesting Genma – who agreed reluctantly only if he got the sofa.

Then Genma said that Kakashi could always share a bed Anko with a sly wink, because that way he'd get a real bed too, and Kurenai shyly murmured that if she and Asuma slept in the same bed, there would be a bed for everyone.

Kakashi protested against sleeping with Anko – they had broken up, dammit, and he intended to keep it that way – but the others were soon sidetracked from the original discussion, and started talking about skiing tips and the hardest hills Blue Mountain had to offer before they had really finished their earlier disputation or reached any common agreement.

They would be there for five nights. They'd stay over the weekend and the following Monday was a public holiday. They had agreed to stay over Tuesday and planned of going home on Wednesday. That way they would miss two days at the university and a few lectures, but neither found that matter very trivial. It wasn't like any of them – well, except for maybe Anko – regularly missed lectures anyhow and one day or two couldn't do that much harm (naturally, neither of those days were a day that Miss Yamanaka gave lectures). Genma had asked Izumo and Kotetzu to share their notes with them when they came back in the most trivial subjects so they wouldn't miss anything too important. There would still time to catch up on for their end of term exams.

The cabin lay close to the hills, giving them access to the skiing anytime they liked after they had lent the equipment and bought the pass cards required for the lifts. The closest store was in Yukiga, a medium-sized town little over two miles from there, so they would surrounded by woods, hills and mountains. With Gai with them, there shouldn't be any problem to get food from Yukiga when needed be – he was pretty sure to run the distance of four miles at least once a day anyway and would only see the task of carrying groceries as a youthful way to train and do good simultaneously. Where he got his energy from, Kakashi didn't want to know. He was inhuman.

The bus only went as far as to Yukiga, which lay by the feet of Blue Mountains. When it stopped it had been dark for hours, but Anko knew the way and had brought flashlights to guide them. After shopping for next morning's breakfast at a 24-hours open store, the group started heading up for the mountains. The town of Yukiga stopped almost abruptly as wilderness took its place, and they soon put the sight of warm, bright windows and street-lights behind them. The night was cold and clear and the walk was steep, but no one minded it after hours of bus riding and being forced to sit still. They walked through the darkness, the road only lit up by the stars and two flashlights that seemed small and insignificant in the dark silence. It was such a difference from the city – it was even lonelier here than it was at his grandfather's, where they had a few neighbors around them.

They reached the lonely cabin forty minutes later and it was good to be able to take one's backpacks off and walk into the warmth. The cottage melted into the mountain in perfect harmony and seemed to be one with nature. It felt as if it had been around for hundreds of years, frozen in time, but it had been renovated – and electricity and running water had been installed. The most eye-catching place when one walked in was a huge, steady fireplace in the living room, started by Anko's uncle earlier to warm the little house up for its visitors. It looked so inviting that the beds were soon forgotten and a quarrel about who would get to sleep by the fireplace soon broke out in its place – though it was hardly a real disagreement, just immature drivel.

To Kakashi it wasn't that big of a deal. He had a live, open fireplace at home and fallen asleep on the couch by it so often that it had lost its appeal. But to the others, it seemed to be a serious matter indeed. Gai found it youthful, Tenzo had never slept in a house with a live fireplace before, and Anko insisted she slept there at least one night because it looked so _cozy_. So, in the end, Asuma and Kurenai got their own room and Kakashi got his – including a bed. The two other beds were dragged out to the living room and claimed by Anko and Genma, while Tenzo and Gai quite contently made their beds on the floor – after a closer examination, the sofa wasn't that comfortable to sleep in.

Though their spirits and appreciation for tomorrow were high, the clock pointed at almost two o'clock when their sleeping places had been solved, and everyone drifted off rather quickly.

 **o o o**

 _"_ _You promised that you would protect her."_

 _"_ _I did my best!"_

 _"_ _You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."_

 _"_ _Please, I tried!"_

Kakashi woke with a jerk. A clock ticked somewhere in the darkness, but it was pitch black outside. Kakashi sat up and turned on the lamp by the bedside table. The clock pointed at ten past four. He had only slept little over two hours. The others wouldn't be up until much later. He still felt tired but he couldn't to go back to sleep again. He decided to take a long, hot shower to pass some of the time.

At five he walked into the quiet living room. Red coal was still glowing in the fireplace. Genma, Gai and Tenzo lay sound asleep. Tenzo looked rather cute. Gai drooled, and Genma snored. Anko's bed was empty.

Where could she be?

He walked into the dining room where she sat by the table, curled up on a chair and in a fluffy quilt. From the windows here, it was noticeable that the blackness had greyed. Dawn was approaching.

"Can't sleep either?" said Anko.

Right. She suffered from them too, occasionally. The nightmares.

"No," he said quietly and sat down by a chair. Then, he stood up again. "Do you want tea?"

"Sure."

He had a feeling they'd end up talking, and if that was the case he wanted something warm to drink. The air had a chilly bite in it after the cold night. In a few minutes he had water boiling, and within another he had a bag of tea, some brown sugar and steaming water in two cups.

"So, how's life in Amegakure?" she asked, shortly after he had sat down by the table.

He stirred with his spoon in the tea, but it was still far too hot to drink. "I like my university, and the new dojo is great."

"But?"

"Obito attends the same school. He's been… giving me some trouble."

"Ah."

"Yeah." Kakashi stared absently in his cup before he looked up at Anko again. "And you?"

"Everything going fine. I like Suna. The citizens have more spunk there than in Konoha," she added with a smirk.

They sat silent for a moment.

"How often do you have them now?" he asked. Anko never had her nightmares as regularly as he did – maybe once in a while, but not at all as often. Her troubles lied elsewhere.

"I don't know." She took a small, tentative sip pf her tea. "Don't really count 'em. I think it's been over half a year since or so since I had one until tonight. It's getting better."

They didn't say anything more. Quiet companionship was all that was needed. Anko was… nice, in that way. She could prod him gently, but she never pushed. If he changed subject she let it be. Though she was curious about Obito she didn't ask any further. Kakashi didn't want to talk about him. At least, he thought he didn't. Their silence was too peaceful to disturb, and he didn't want to ruin their holiday by bringing Obito into everything... he _needed_ the break. They drank their tea and watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon, the blue shadows slowly crawling back from where they came from as it rose on the sky. Slowly, the rest of the company stirred awake. Somebody started the fire and the house, filling with short morning talk and preparations for breakfast, came alive.

Genma walked into the dining room, carrying cups for breakfast. He blinked sleepily at them, and then a lazy, wide smile grew across his face, nearly splitting it in two. "I knew you'd get back together before time was up, but I didn't know it would only take a night!"

Kakashi felt like groaning and hitting his head into the table. Genma still believed he and Anko had broken up because of a fight, and refused to listen to any other explanation. If the sex was great and the relationship itself went smoothly Genma could see no other reason to break up. And Kakashi and Anko _had_ always worked excellently. In a way Kakashi could understand him. Not even he could explain why they'd felt the need to break up. Maybe though both were good for each other, there was some nagging feeling that whispered that things could be even better. Something permanent had had never been within question. Genma, in any case, did not understand it.

"I fucked his brains out," helpful Anko said with a positively feral grin.

This time, Kakashi really did slam his head into the table. Anko snapped his empty tea cup away in the nick of time so he didn't break it (or his head, depending on which was the hardest).

Then he got up and helped the others with breakfast.

 **o o o**

The day was fair and clear when the group began their journey to the small building uphill that hired skiing equipment and sold lift-cards. Walking outside was like entering a magical land. Everything was blinding white and clean, an endlessly blue sky hanging over them.

It was breathtaking.

The snow was deep everywhere except for at the small road they walked on which was plowed. The snow was not gray or yellow as it gets in the city, but perfectly white, glistering and made hard by the few cars that had driven on it. Giant spruces were scattered out on the snow-covered hills. Thick, heavy snow had covered their branches and some trees, big as they were, was so heavily coated with snow that they had bowed to the ground. A great silence seemed to rule over the wild landscape, and not an animal could be seen.

After getting cards in their pockets, poles in their hands and skiing boots and skis on their feet, the group headed for the smallest hill nearby. The beginners came there to learn, Kurenai to get a soft start, and the more advanced skiers to warm up and teach the rookies. (But mostly to laugh, or at least snicker, at them.)

Genma and Asuma picked up skiing quite fast, and it turned out that Tenzo was a real natural. After an hour they divided into two groups – Kakashi, Gai, Anko and Tenzo to try some harder hills – boarding on too difficult for Tenzo – and Asuma, Genma and Kurenai to do some harder than the beginning hill, but still much easier than the ones Kakashi's team would take on – on the easy side for Kurenai.

Kakashi felt as if he came alive on those white, dangerous hills. They twined down the steep mountains like giant, frozen meanders and everything as far as he could see was blue and white – dim, snow-covered mountains in the distance. The air was crispy and clear, and he almost seemed to be able to drink and taste its freshness – and it smelled so clean out here.

The hills were high and he could see far below him. When the wind hit his face and the world swished past him, he, like all other times he had been skiing, wondered if this wasn't how the birds felt when they were soaring in the sky.

Anko grinned, abruptly cutting in right in front of him so they nearly collided. Her eyes glittered, and her cheeks were flushed. Behind them, Kakashi could hear an 'oph!' as poor Tenzo fell. Kakashi stopped, but by the time he had turned around Gai was already helping him up.

They didn't bother with lunch – they had had a big breakfast and would eat an even bigger dinner to make up for it. If they got inside, the snow on their clothes would melt and they would have to wait until they dried to go out again, so it seemed meaningless to waste time on that. They drank some hot blueberry soup that was sold in small huts by the skiing hills and warmed their fingers on the cups, but they didn't go inside. The day passed so quickly nobody seemed think that much about food until they got home and all were _starving_.

…and they realized that they still hadn't stocked up on food and had to go shopping before they could eat anything satisfying.

A few of them – Asuma, Gai and Genma, more specifically – driven by hunger, instantly did.

When they came home Gai made the chicken soup – it was just ready, dry powder to mix with water and heat up. Meanwhile, Kurenai fried chicken, Tenzo cut bread and Kakashi made the table. Genma tried to steal things to eat and Asuma mixed juice.

The dinner was pleasant, but quite silent for such a big company. Everyone was too busy eating to talk at first, but when the worse hunger had been filled they lingered and continued to chat and snack on crackers for hours. By the time they had finished their dinner it was late and everyone felt ready to go to bed – a full, active day outdoors had everyone exhausted, and with their stomachs full they felt quite sleepy, too.

After the dishes were done, everybody said their 'good night's, already looking forward to tomorrow again.

A few hours later Kakashi awoke with a start. His eyes snapped wide open, but soon calmed down in the silent darkness. Sweat run down his body, and he tried to calm his heavy breathing and rapidly beating heart.

 _Everything is okay._

That was what he was trying to tell himself.

 _You're used to this._

She has already been dead for years.

The door creaked. "Kakashi?"

His eyes moved to the figure standing at the door opening. "Did I wake you?" Kakashi asked. Had he spoken in his sleep? Was he loud? He really happened not.

"No. I just passed by on my way back from the bathroom and thought I heard something. I just wanted to check on you. Is it very bad?"

"I can handle it."

"Do you want me to stay?"

Kakashi's fingers clenched into the blanket. "No," he said. "Thank you."

The door slowly closed and Kakashi lay down again. His exhaustion was so big he chanced to go back to sleep again. He could really use the rest, if he only could only escape the terrors of his nightmares.

Besides, trying to stay up right now might get him thinking, and that could turn out to be even worse if he didn't manage to block out his inner voice and the vivid images buried deep inside his mind.

He needed to smother them – they weren't allowed to come up.

* * *

 **Any lapses of judgment I may have in how a chapter is supposed to be constructed with be blamed on my influenza. And yes, I will also blame my delay on the influenza. My holiday was awesome but I got sick just a few days after I got home and have had a throbbing, unceasing headache since – well, it is a little better today. And the good thing with not being able to check my mail when I'm sick is that is seems as if I am so much more popular when I finally get to it again.**

 **Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. You are wonderful. :') Shout out if there is anything that truly don't make sense. XD I'll try to make the next update faster than this one, promise.**


	18. Chapter 18 - White Tainted Crimson

**Warning for KAKASHI X ANKO. I do not like to spoil the chapters, at all, but I have had a sensitive reviewer who didn't like Anko or her relation with Kakashi. Well, if what you read earlier was too much KakaAko for you, then you have been warned that this chapter is about 10 times worse. The KakaAko is there for a reason, and in my opinion I feel it adds a more realistic feel to the story. But if you don't like, no hard feelings. Just don't read it. Save Anko's awesomeness for those who know to appreciate it. ;)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 18- White Tainted Crimson

* * *

He didn't want to remember.

He never wanted to remember.

It was the one thing in his memory he had tried to erase more than anything else, but never to any avail. Whenever the memory started to become shady and cloudy in his mind, something always happened to bring it back in a vivid replay of time.

To know it had happened was enough. He didn't need to remember the details.

But then a hare ran over the road, rubber decks screeched against asphalt, and a gust of wind hit his face – and he wasn't given any choice. The low, terrible thud of a soft body colliding with a hard car was the last trigger he needed. It came back to him like a flash of lightning.

 _Rin._

Rin asked him if he needed anything in town before they left.

Kakashi was about to answer no. He did not like shopping, and he especially didn't feel like doing it now. But everything had burned down and he really needed to get a few things. With a sigh he told her he could use some new clothes. Rin was more than thrilled to help.

An hour later, Kakashi was too exhausted to protest when Rin, giggling, took his left hand as they walked out of the shopping center. Their unoccupied hands were carrying bags filled with new clothes, a toothbrush, pillows and a few other things Kakashi needed. Tiredly, he looked at Rin and met her sparkling eyes. They were shining with amusement.

"Neh, Kakashi. You and Obito can fight for hours, but whenever any of you set foot in a clothing store, the energy seemed to be drained out of you in just a few minutes. How exhausting can buying clothes be?"

Kakashi couldn't help but to smile at her. "It's horrifying. The only thing both Obito and I agree on, right?"

"Right!" Her sad mood from earlier was gone now, and for that Kakashi was happy. Rin wasn't the type pf girl to stay depressed for long, and now that she knew Obito would be fine she was feeling a lot better.

"But Rin – Obito's house didn't burn down. Why did you buy clothes for him?"

"Because it's fun to pick out clothes for both of my boys, of course!"

"I really doubt Obito will agree to wear _any_ clothes matching mine. Besides, these are far too… dull, for his tastes."

"There are some orange stitches in the shirt, though. I think I can persuade him."

"What about me?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow in her direction.

"Well…. You are too practical. I don't think you'd let an outfit I picked out just lay rotting in the closet. Besides, your wardrobe is rather limited at the moment."

Kakashi looked up. The sky was so grey. It would probably rain any moment now. He shook his head with a small smile. Both their spirits had been lifted by finally seeing that Obito was doing okay. "Got me," he said. "You know us both too well."

"When Obito get home, I'll bake a cake so we can celebrate!"

"Celebrate what, exactly?"

"Um." Rin lifted her bag up to tap her chin. "Well, life, you know. And that Obito is getting better. Besides, he likes cake, and I think he deserves it, don't you?"

"I guess he does."

"I wonder what kind he'd like?"

"Anything you make him. Trust me."

The bus stopped in front of them, and both hurried to get on. Kakashi suddenly remembered something. "Oh no. I forgot to walk Pakkun before we left. I hope someone let him out in the garden."

"We can walk him when we get home. I'll go with you, if you don't mind."

"Of course not. But look… It's getting windier. I think a storm's coming up." For some reason Kakashi couldn't explain, he felt uneasy.

"Yes. We'll get rain soon, too."

When they walked out from the bus, the wind had grown a lot stronger. Without speaking much, they pulled their thin summer jackets harder around themselves and hurried the last few miles they had to walk to get to Rin's house.

When they got inside, Kakashi signed. "It's in weather like this I'm not very fond for having a dog."

"I can't believe it's so cold in July!" said Rin.

Pakkun just waved his tail and walked up to him with the leach held in his mouth. "Where did you get that?" said Kakashi, taking the leach from Pakkun. "You're not supposed to reach it."

Rin wrapped a white scarf around her neck. "Let's go, Kakashi, before it starts raining."

"Yeah." Pakkun stood still as he fastened the leach to his collar. Nobody else was home, but they expected to be back before anyone missed them.

The wind was so hard it was no use talking. They could barely hear their own voices as it was. The daylight was dim, slowly darkening, and black clouds covered the sky. The temperature dropped rapidly and the wind picked up strength. Above them, the clouds moved in a big, ominous circle.

Pakkun would just have to do with a short walk this time.

"Let's go home!" he shouted.

Rin nodded, her face half hidden behind the scarf, and they turned back.

Neither of the teenagers noticed the rabbit that jumped on the other side of the road.

Pakkun did.

Kakashi wasn't prepared when the little dog suddenly pulled the leach out of his hand with a surprising display of strength and rushed out over the road. Reacting quickly, Kakashi dashed after him, knowing that if he escaped he would be hunting game for hours. There was no use trying to call on him – when Pakkun saw game his ears seemed to lose their function entirely.

In his hurry, Kakashi didn't notice the car going way too fast on the small dirt road. He didn't hear anything but the roaring wind as grabbed after Pakkun's leach. It escaped just underneath his fingertips, but he still thought he would be able to snatch it…

Someone collided with him, pushed him out of the way. Kakashi fell forward, scrubbed the palms of his hands as he caught himself.

Only then did the screaming sound of rubber gliding against the road cut into his ears. He barely had time to turn his face towards the vehicle before it happened. Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion, but Kakashi still didn't have time to do anything about it.

Rin had pushed him out of the way, taken his place.

She was still moving – just a little more time and she'd be out of harm's way too – but she wasn't fast enough. Neither of them was. The car hit Rin's body with a sickening thud. She flew backwards a few yards, and the car pulled to a stop. Kakashi didn't know how he got there, but suddenly he was by Rin's side, holding her broken body in his arms.

Rin's eyes opened slowly. Her lips moved as she said something, and for just a second Kakashi believed she would be alright. She was conscious; the car hadn't run over her – there was no visual injury. She'd just been hit, she would be okay. That moment of hope turned into the worse moment of his entire life when a violent spasm of muscle convulsions wrenched through her body.

An ambulance was called, but Rin died from heavy internal bleedings before it got there. She died holding Kakashi's hand. The same wind that had made the car inaudible made it impossible for Kakashi to make out Rin's final words, even as he leaned close enough for her lips to brush against his ear. So she kissed his cheek and smiled a weak smile before blood pooled out of her mouth. It ran down her chin, tainting the white scarf crimson. Her eyes closed to never open again.

The ambulance got there only seconds later.

They tried to start her heart, but it was useless. The force of the collision had broken something vital within her, and she was gone. Kakashi followed her in the ambulance as they rushed to the closest hospital in Suna – Konoha had none – holding Rin's hand the entire time, refusing to let go – even when he knew it was too late, even when he knew there was no hope he couldn't help trying to cling to it. She _couldn't_ really be gone. This couldn't be real.

Shortly after they got to the hospital she was declared dead.

He and Jiraiya booked into a hotel shortly after midnight to let the Nohara family mourn alone. Kakashi straight to bed and slept for more than twelve hours straight. Rin was in every one of his dream, dying over and over again, but Kakashi was so exhausted that he kept falling asleep only to wake from his nightmare – it seemed like a cursed loop of death he could never hope to escape. The worse part of it all was waking only to realize that it wasn't just a dream. It was all real.

 _Rin._

Kakashi had fallen to his knees in the snow on the side of the road, his hands planted against the ground when he caught himself reflexively. The car was gone, only a white, fluffy snowshoe hare that would never jump again laying in the middle of the road little up ahead.

Kakashi stood up and after glancing to both sides, stepped out on the road. He picked up the slack, soft body and threw it away into the snow on the other side of the ditch. If it stayed there it would attract polar foxes to the road. It seemed to melt into snow, its fur almost camouflaging it entirely and made it unnoticeable against the white background.

A snowfall, and it would be concealed completely. The white road was left spotless.

The red stains were all in his mind.

Kakashi picked up his dropped groceries and walked back to the cottage.

 **o o o**

It was hard to sleep.

The nightmares were back with a vengeance. It happened occasionally. Mostly he would just have a bad dream every now and then, but then suddenly he would have several nightmares every night. And this was the third night in a row. It frustrated him that it had happened when he was away with his friends. The only good thing about this was that he had managed to get his own room.

He was scared to sleep, but he had to. Maybe they wouldn't be back tonight, after all, maybe…

 _The sound of ambulances soon becomes the sound of raging, howling wind._

 _"_ _You promised that you would protect her."_

 _He sees the car, but he can't stop it from happening._

 _"_ _I did my best!"_

 _He sees her pale face, her small, bloody mouth._

 _"_ _You said that you would protect her when I couldn't."_

 _"_ _Please, I tried!"_

 _There is a faint, dying kiss on his cheek._

 _"_ _I saved you and this is how you repay me? By letting her die!?"_

 _"_ _Kakashi." Rin's voice._

 _She'd locked inside a coffin, trying to get out. She's desperate, clawing until her finger's bleed._

 _Decomposing. Falling apart._

 _No!_

"Kakashi."

"No!"

"Kakashi!"

Kakashi sat up in a jerk. His body was trembling, shaking. He could still see her bluish lips, blood sipping out of her mouth. Red staining white. Kakashi looked down at his hands.

 _There's so much blood._

His fists clenched, he couldn't seem to _breathe_ –

"Kakashi." A hand moved up over his spine, rubbing his back, slowly, comfortingly. A warm body leaned closer to him. A quiet whisper spoke in his ear, soothing, calming. "It's alright."

Kakashi glanced to her tiredly.

No.

 _Nothing is alright._

He couldn't seem to come back to the world of the living – his mind was trapped in his internal hell.

A kiss was placed over his cheek, jaw, neck. Dark, lose hair tickled his collarbone. She smelled good. It was safe, familiar. His heartbeat slowed down.

"You're not alone," she said.

 _I'm always alone._

"I'm here."

Her touches helped him reconnect with the real world, served as a lifeline to get back from the horrible, devouring hell that was his mind.

"Anko." His voice was a rough, husky whisper. "I need…" He grabbed her shoulders, pulled her into the bed, pushed her down. His fingers pressed hard into soft skin, lean arms. He covered her smaller frame with his bigger once. He was still panting – panting from fear.

He didn't want to see it anymore.

Anko's arms wrapped over his neck, his head. Her fingers pulled through his hair. "To forget?" she suggested quietly.

The car. The low thud as it hit her body. The blood.

Rin.

 _My fault._

"Yes," he rasped.

Had Kakashi been able to cry, he might have preferred to do that. But his eyes were dry. He couldn't shed a tear no matter how much his heart hurt, no matter how much his chest clenched in pain. Instead he pinned down one of Anko's wrists, used his free hand to slip under her shirt and grab her full, supple breast, molding it roughly in his hand, pinched her hardening nipple between his fingers.

She let out a pained moan, arched her back. Her fingernails scratched into his scalp. "Take it out on me," she said. "I can handle it."

 _Forget, forget, forget._

Kakashi grabbed her ass, fingers following her smooth thigh, nails digging into the giving flesh.

 _I don't want to remember._

She was beautiful. Sexy. She knew what she was doing, knew how to distract him.

He didn't remember how she got naked, or how he got undressed.

She snarled, and he held her harder, but it was all a part of their charade. They were animals, they didn't need to think. She drove him insane. Her nails scratched him and his fingers bruised her. He growled, behaved aggressively. She egged him on, switching between purring seductively and fighting him. He pulled her hair back and kissed her neck, bit into her collarbones. She pulled in his, raked her nails down her back, made him bleed, made him _feel_.

She made him fight for her, and it was just what he needed. He needed her – he needed this – to just… If only for a moment…

 _I don't want to remember!_

Then he was inside her, hot, soft, wet, walls around him, a much needed pressure. He rocked into her, felt her clench around him. He growled lowly. She mewled. Arousal throbbed in his mind.

And he finally forgot.

Temporarily.

 **o o o**

The next morning, Kakashi stood showering in a hot steam when Anko picked the door open with a hair-clip, shred her morning gown and stepped under the water with an obvious limp. She hissed when the hot water hit her skin, and Kakashi stepped to the side to give her some room.

Wordlessly, he handed her the shampoo and conditioner as she needed them. Neither Anko nor Kakashi were much of morning people, but they had learned to get along during the time they were together. The trick was not to speak all too soon.

The heating device in his room had broken sometime during the night, and now in the morning it was really cold. The hot, long shower gave them time to thaw and wake up both.

"We really need to get that radiator fixed," said Kakashi.

"Mm. Lucky you had me." Her lips pulled into a smirk. "I could have stayed by my cozy fireplace."

Kakashi just shook his head and smiled. "Well, at least you don't have to make the same mistake twice," he said.

Anko have him a glare.

"Massage my shoulders," she grunted as she turned her back to him. She rolled her shoulder and they cracked as if they were old, rusty hinges that needed oiling. "If you want to keep your family jewels…" Her threat was cut short by a yawn.

Lips still tugging in amusement, he obliged her.

After the massage, Kakashi stepped out of the shower into the warm, damp bathroom, the mirror entirely misted over. He wrapped a towel around his hips as Anko turned off the shower, and reached her hand out for her body lotion. Kakashi gave it to her and dressed. He was finished by the time Anko had started applying make-up to conceal some of the more noticeable bruises he had left yesterday.

He then continued out to the kitchen and started frying pancakes. That it happened to be Anko's favorite type of breakfast… well, that was totally coincidental.

Anko came out later, still limping slightly, though not quite as much as before and Kakashi tried not to feel too guilty about it. When Genma threw him a meaning glance – eyes _laughing_ – he couldn't even deny it.

He repaid the favor she did him the next night. Slowly, slowly, to make it up to her. He kissed, licked, touched. Lips. Neck. Breasts. Stomach. Thighs. In a way, it was very nice to be close to another human being again. Maybe he had missed her after all – sort of. In his own way.

And if Anko ever did feel any resentment towards him for going overboard, he thought she for forgave him for it.

* * *

 **This chapter was also pretty short, but hey, it was an update, and it was early! Thanks for all the lovely reviews (I feel much better now!) and please do tell me what you think of the chapter! :)**


	19. Chapter 19 - The Truth

**Sorry for the delay, guys. Thanks for all your faithful reviews. They have really been encouraging! Midterm exams, a stubborn flu and a sick pet have been some of the reasons I haven't had the time to write (or even edit) lately. But chapter 19 is finally here!**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 19 – The Truth

* * *

Kakashi didn't like gore movies.

It wasn't that he was scared, it was just that blood and death in general brought forth unpleasant memories. Memories he would rather forget. Especially after all the dreams he had had about Rin, the last thing his mind needed was a shove of imagination and more detailed, gory scenes at its disposal during night.

Gai, Anko and Jiraiya were the only one to know this, therefore Kakashi couldn't blame Asuma when he suggested that they should watch a new one he had purchased and everyone but Kakashi shouted yes. Had Gai and Anko been here, they would have backed him up, but unfortunately for him, they both were out. Gai had offered to do tonight's shopping – since they had to carry their groceries they couldn't buy a lot at once, but had to go to the store daily – and Anko had went because she didn't trust anyone else to get the right shampoo for her and she wanted to see some people again. So Kakashi was left on his own, and he was starting to wish that he had gone with them.

If only he hadn't been so damn lazy.

"I think I'll just read," said Kakashi, standing up from the sofa to go to his room.

Genma caught his hand. "You're not scared, are you?" he said, quirking one eyebrow.

"Of course not," said Kakashi, narrowing his eyes. "I'd simply rather spend time reading than watching a movie."

"Oh, come on," said Asuma. "You and Anko are always locked up in that room–" that was not true, that had only been two nights in a row,"–and this one's really good. Not at all overly done like just for the shock effect, but creepily realistic. It's got a good plot as well. It's gotten a very high rating. You really don't wanna miss out."

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

Realistic.

Why, that sounded just fucking _perfect_.

"Please, Kakashi," Kurenai said. "It's my favorite. I'm sure you'll love it. You read Icha Icha daily, and we never get to see any of you. Can't you be social for once? This is the last evening we have here."

"Watching a movie is hardly _social_ ," said Kakashi as he glared at Genma who still held on to his arm.

"Oh, don't be such a killjoy, or we'll really think you _are_ scared."

"Are you?" said Kurenai with a hint of understanding in her voice. "It's okay if–"

"I'll watch it," he gritted out through his teeth. Seriously, he had a reputation to uphold. Stupid Genma. Kakashi threw another murderous look at him, but he just grinned at him.

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

A movie wasn't that big a deal anyhow, not when he knew it was all fantasy.

"You won't regret it, Kakashi!"

Like hell he wouldn't. He just needed to just get over it, he supposed. But he still hoped Gai and Anko got back before the bloodbath begun and save him from it all. While watching gore usually didn't bother him _this_ much, the flashback from the other day had really been mentally staining.

In Asuma's and Kurenai's defense, the plot _was_ advanced and well thought out, and had it not been for the gore Kakashi would have loved it as a thriller. As it was… he felt quite tortured.

Gai and Anko didn't show up. It was a pity. Anko would have loved to watch this. He felt sorry she missed out on it. If it hadn't been as well done, he could have criticized its effects and laugh at the absurdness, but as it was now, he couldn't, and he was forced to be painful aware of the gurgle a character made as he choked on blood while being tortured and–

Guts.

Disgusting.

Just as long as he managed to keep Rin out of his mind–

Dammit.

He forced the thoughts away, glanced away from the television to get a breather. The screams, the grunts, the death rattle didn't escape his ears, though. It was stupid he was so sensitive to this. Pathetic, really. He should just get over it. Kakashi looked back at the screen again before anybody noticed and could call him a coward.

And stiffened.

He recognized that. He had seen it before.

"Holy shit." Kakashi snapped up the controller and, to the annoyance of his friends, reversed it a few seconds and paused. Angry outbursts were followed by his friends who tried to snatch the remoter back from him. Kakashi leaned out of their reach.

"Kakashi!"

"Hey, quit it! What did you do that for?"

Kakashi stared at the frozen screen. "What the hell– "

That picture…

That screenshot…

 _Deidara._

Kakashi suddenly remembered the amused grin as he was shown the pictures behind the school building, the chuckle as Deidara walked away… that he didn't even remember he had heard until now.

 _You little fucker._

Kakashi stood up, dropped the control back in the sofa. "Excuse me. There's something a need to check up." He walked back to his room, almost unaware of the calls after him as he snapped open his phone.

Unbelievable.

Deidara had tricked him with a _screenshot_ from a _movie_. He must have had the laugh of his life. Kakashi clenched his jaw. Sure, Obito was violent, but why hadn't he thought to doubt Deidara earlier? Sure, that part wasn't too grotesque, but it was still bloody unrealistic to believe Obito would have cut up someone so – oh, never mind. That wasn't the main issue.

What he needed to know what if the first picture he had been shown also was fake.

But he didn't know where to start.

Was Obito not a killer, after all? But if he wasn't – how could he have become so widely feared? It seemed… unrealistic. Akatsuki wouldn't have the reputation if did if everything said about them were false. Had Deidara just played a trick on him altogether, or was it part true? From what he had seen of Deidara's character it seemed equally likely he had just thrown him that second picture on a whim because his reaction to the first picture wasn't interesting enough. But just guessing wasn't good enough. He needed to get to the bottom of this.

The only one thing he could think of doing was to go through news tagged with the Akatsuki in hope to see if anybody suspected to be killed by the Akatsuki would match up with the picture he had been shown or not. Of course, the sheer number of tags would make that close to impossible, but he could narrow it down. He wished he had the picture on his phone so he could do a photo search on google. But he didn't have it, so that was out of the question. At least he thought he remembered enough to recognize the victim if he saw them.

The first pictured he had been shown was of a middle-aged man. Brown hair. The most distinctive feature was birthmark by his right brow. The picture had been slightly blurry and pretty dark, but he had been able to make out that much. It had been the most normal picture. The picture of the man he first had thought to be sleeping, or resting.

The second one had _definitely_ been a screenshot of 'Blood Revenge'.

He popped down in his bed and began searching – but not before checking out the most popular movies featuring murders first. He couldn't find any with the first man, so he went on to read the news.

An hour later Anko poked her head in, telling him it was supper, and was he coming or what?

Kakashi waved her out, not even looking up from his phone.

It was a few hours after midnight when Kakashi found what he had been looking for – and had secretly hoped to not find. He had just been ready to give it up for the day, but decided to read one more article. The others were already sleeping, since they needed to get up early tomorrow. Anko was sleeping next to him, and he was glad to have her there. When he saw the picture the hair rose on his back and he got an unpleasant thrill.

The pictures… they didn't match the one Deidara showed, not at all, but they _did_ feature the same person. Without doubt. In a way this suggested that it really was a picture taken by the victim's murderers and not just a saved from the internet. The picture Deidara had shown him was in poor lighting, a man lying white in the woods with a pale, purplish face. In this picture he lay on a beach, white and colorless in daylight, but no doubt the same man.

His eyes followed the words.

 _Man Washed Up Ashore_

 _On Sunday after the storm a man was found washed up on the shore outside of_ Shikei's _coast. His identity is so far unknown, but the descriptions match up to the attacker of Jenna Dyth, and she has confirmed him as the same man she reported on Friday night._

 _Akatsuki was seen dumping something_ –

 ** _The article is older than 6 months. To get access to the full article, subscribe for only 2.99 dollars a week!_**

"I _hate_ you." Kakashi glared darkly at the phone. His gaze darkened further when he realized that had he only tried reading it two days ago, he would still have had free access to it. He hated articles like this! Why did they do that? It was just evil. And now he had no other choice than to subscribe to that stupid thing.

After minimal trouble – but trouble nonetheless – he could finally pick up his reading.

 _Akatsuki was seen dumping something in the ocean by the small village of Shōnin as the waters pulled back during ebb – which is presumed to have been the body. The waters of Shikei's coast are traitorous, dominated by strong underwater currents, and the body would have probably disappeared for good if the storm that quickly blew up the following day hadn't cast it back ashore._

 _At Friday night, young Jenna Dyth reported a failed rape attempt and suspicions of murder or a kidnapping. Jenna was going home from a friend's place round 09:00 pm when a man attacked her. Another person interfered, and Jenna, still in a condition of shock, saw her attacker get carried away by a car, which was later traced to the beach by the police, where it is presumed the body was disposed. It is yet unclear whether the deceased passed away from jugular strangulation or by drowning. Jenna has no valid descriptions of the men whom helped her but committed murder to do so._

 _"_ _I can't remember how they looked," she says. "It was dark and I was still in a shocked condition. I managed to memorize the number plate on the car, but no more than that."_

A picture of a young girl appeared, and Kakashi froze cold at the sight of her. There were many differences, of course, but she looked terribly like an older version of Rin. She had brown, shoulder-length hair and big, brown eyes and there were just something about her features that was familiar. Her eyebrows, maybe, and something over her mouth. If she was a relative somehow, Kakashi wouldn't have been the least surprised – they could have been siblings.

And if Obito had seen her in the dark…

Kakashi shook his head and continued to read the article.

 _When she was asked about the incident she replied;_

 _"_ _Terrifying. I was very scared. The men who helped me were intimidating, and at first I feared they would want something from me."_

 _He reply to how she saw the man who stepped in is this;_

 _"_ _He's my savior. He might have gone too far, but without him I might have been the one killed. If I'd ever met him again, I'd thank him. Words cannot describe the gratitude I feel. So many would have been too scared to do anything."_

 _Related posts VIDEO: Jenna, 16: "He deserved it."_

It was a twenty-six minute long interview, so Kakashi put his phone down. He would watch it tomorrow – for now he was too tired to think and needed to sleep. It seemed very likely that Akatsuki had indeed been part of this man's murder – most likely Obito himself. Though it hardly was the right thing to do in the eyes of the law, it was understandable enough to justify him in Kakashi's. If Obito had gone blind with rage, Kakashi couldn't have blamed him. He would have lost it, himself.

In the dark, Jenna's appearances must have been close to inseparable from Rin's.

His phone didn't have much battery left. He needed to charge it overnight. After searching through his plastic bag as quietly as he could to avoid waking an angry bear by the name Anko from her rest, he gave up. He must have forgotten his charger at home. Hopefully, it would last until he got back.

 **o o o**

The next morning, Kakashi overslept. In a sudden hurry to pack up everything and clean the small cottage before their bus arrived at 07:00 am he forgot to eat breakfast. Though they all had felt that they were ready to leave at a moment's notice last evening, everyone ran around doing last things – Kurenai remembered she had to wash the towels and sheets and hang them on the drying line before they left, Anko suddenly regretted her habit of leaving her things all over her house and one of Gai's boxers were missing, so he searched for them frantically.

Kakashi washed the dishes and Asuma, who was still as sleep-drunk as Kakashi, dried the plates and tried to remember where they had been when they first came as he put them back in the cupboards. Meanwhile, Tenzo swept the floor and Kurenai – who had packed the washing machine full and desperately hoped the laundry would be finished before the bus came and that she would remember to hang them up before they left – came after him armed with a mop, scrubbing the floor with a vengeance.

As for Genma… well, Genma was close to impossible to get life in, and he slept like a rock. Kurenai had rolled him off the bed as she collected his sheets, but he had yet to come to life.

Anko solved that problem by pouring water in his ear.

He got up unwillingly, and like Kakashi, forgone breakfast that morning.

Finally they were sitting in the bus on their way back, packing with them and all, and breathed out a collective sigh. Nothing had been forgotten this time, at least not as far as they yet knew, and the cabin was respectable enough by the time they had locked the door and hid the key in a flowerpot outside the door.

A snowstorm came up on their way back and the driver was forced to drive slower, so it was estimated they wouldn't be back in Amegakure until 14:00 pm. Most of them went back to sleep to pass the time a tad quicker.

When Kakashi woke, it was by a hungry surge in his stomach. It was almost lunch time. He started to regret that he had skipped breakfast. On their way here, they had stopped and eaten at Burger King, but they had all decided to take a bus that went straight to Amegakure this time and he was starting to wish he had voted with Anko to stop and eat instead of going straight back. An equally tortured look from Genma told him that he felt the same way.

Tenzo sat munching walnuts, but, knowing his relation with them, Kakashi didn't dare ask for one. Tenzo was a very nice, friendly person as long as one didn't mess with his walnuts. Genma didn't know better and within a second Tenzo had (without rising from his seat or stopping eating his walnuts) pulled a joint-lock on him and refused to let go until all nuts had been swallowed and lay safely in his stomach.

Then Kakashi remembered the video from last night, and in an attempt to kill some time and ignore the hunger he decided to watch it if the Wi-Fi would allow him to. He dug up his phone, while his friends, equally bored, started comparing their wallets. Apparently, the appearance and the contents of a wallet was supposed to tell a lot about a person, according to some script Kurenai had read in a girl-magazine, and they were now checking if this was true. And so Anko, seeing that Kakashi had no intentions of humoring them, pick-pocketed him. When Kakashi tried to get it back, she threw it to Genma who (now freed from Tenzo) caught it. Kakashi groaned in exasperation.

He could let them play with it for a while, he supposed. He went back to ignoring everybody else, and flipped open his phone. After entering the pin-code, he clicked on the saved link, waiting for it to load as he put his headphones in. The video started playing, but got stuck so Kakashi paused to give it some time before he hit play again.

Two women appeared – a blonde reporter with a great, white smile – almost bright enough to rival Gai's – and the other girl; Rin's look-alike.

"This is Amegakure Live reporting, and my name is Hanasu Nyūsu," the smiling reporter said, before she turned towards the younger girl with a compassionate look. "You went through a quite traumatizing event last weekend, Jenna."

"Yes."

Hanasu turned to the camera. "Rape is something most women only need to fear in their worst nightmares, but it's more common than one would assume in our supposedly 'gender-equal' society. Jenna is not alone. Thousands of women are raped every year, and even more have to endure sexual discrimination because of their gender." She turned back to the brunette, smiling a little too widely for someone talking about a subject such as this. "Jenna – you were one of the luckier victims and got away, but how did you feel when you were assaulted?"

"I was scared, of course. I mean, I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. At the moment, it was mostly panic, but afterwards I felt objectified, disgusted with myself over something I didn't chose, you know. The feeling of his hands seemed burned into my body, and no amount of water could wash it off. I was frozen in fear when it happened, and my pleads only seemed to anger him. I can't imagine how I would have felt if nobody had stopped it. I know many women who'd rather die than to have to endure something like that, and the lifelong shame and scarring it would bring."

Seeing Jenna in an interview like this, she wasn't quite so much like Rin anymore. The appearances were there, of course, but somehow the air around her was very different, as well in the way they spoke, their accents and their voices. Rin wouldn't have wanted to be in an interview like this either and in a way, it was a relief. It made him feel less like he was watching an older version of Rin, and more like it was a completely different person – which she was, of course.

"Yes," the reporter said, turning to the camera again. "Jenna was something of a special case – somebody stepped in. And not only that, but right afterwards she bore witness to a crime her unexpected savior committed – against her assaulter. Jenna, what happened?"

"It was over in a few minutes," she said. "The man was pulled off me, and grabbed by his neck. In a few seconds he stopped struggling. But he…. didn't let go. I was still so shocked… And I never really realized what was happening until afterwards. All I knew was that this person had saved me, taken the one who was hurting me away. I didn't think of what I was witnessing."

"What happened next?"

"As soon as I got myself together, I covered myself. The man who saved me let the unconscious man go – or, at least, I assumed him to be only unconscious at that time. He didn't bother to give me a second glance, just phoned a number. I didn't hear what he said, but shortly after a car appeared and…"

"And?"

The girl bit into a glossy lip. "More… people… appeared. They… like, put the body in a big sports bag. Only then did I realize something was truly be wrong. I feared the men would want something from me – but I couldn't help but think that the man deserved whatever was coming to him. The bag was then placed in the back of the car."

"They put the body in a bag, you say. Was this when you realized you might be a witness to murder?"

"Yes. I got scared when I noticed how smoothly and calmly everything went. It was almost like they were professionals, you know? It made me worried. Except for a few verbal quarrels within the group, everyone appeared organized and calm. There was no panic among them… not even any surprise. They could have planned it beforehand and it couldn't have gone smoother."

This worried Kakashi.

He paused the video a moment, trying to take it in (and to give the video time to load). Last night, he had thought that maybe Obito and the Akatsuki weren't as bad as rumors made them up to be, but this didn't sound promising. If this was true… then Obito obviously didn't hold any regards to killing someone, and had done it before. Maybe he even was used to dealing with the aftermaths of murder. The reason Deidara lied could very likely just have been to further mess with him, not in any real attempt to fool him about Obito's power – he knew he would experience that himself. He was back on square one. Obito was a killer, and though justified in this case, was he really in all others?

He played the video. Maybe he'd learn something more.

"Do you think it was?" the report asked. "That the murder was really planned?"

"N-no," said Jenna. "the man who saved me… seemed to act impulsively. He was angry. It was rather the disposal of the body that was handled coolly."

Of course Kakashi couldn't be sure, but it did sound like Obito – especially if he momentarily had thought she was Rin.

The reported nodded. "You say you don't remember any distinctive features of the man or of his accomplices, but an unknown witness have reported seeing Akatsuki in the neighborhood just a few hours prior to the crime. Do you think it could have been them?"

Jenna hesitated, eyes glancing to the side for a brief second. "I don't know," she said. "It was too dark to see their faces clearly, and nobody really got that close to me. Every crime is blamed on Akatsuki these days. It could easily have been any other gang, but I don't know why any would want to protect me. I have no connection to any of them."

"You didn't notice any tattoos or the color of their clothes? Those things can often be determining factors or reveal a vital clue if a gang has been involved."

"No. I didn't think about it."

Kakashi wasn't all sure, but he'd bet the risk of having to wear a green-spandex overall an entire year that Jenna was protecting her defender by keeping his identity a secret. It was understandable, he supposed. She probably wanted to repay him the favor he did her when he helped her in a situation that seemed hopeless, and already felt bad over reporting him. That she didn't have any descriptions at all of how he looked, spoke or dressed seemed highly unlikely. While he was quite confident in the matter, the stubborn glint in Jenna's eyes betrayed his suspicions he had were likely to be correct – but also that she wouldn't ever confess to anything else. She would stick by her tale.

"After the car drove away, what did you do?"

"I realized a crime was going on, so I memorized the car plate. Then I called the police and reported the attempted rape on me as well as the man's kidnapping."

"Why? You said you thought he deserved what he got. Didn't you want revenge on the man who had assaulted you?"

The teenager smiled dryly. "I did. But I figured I wouldn't try to punish someone without legal right, you know? By not reporting I would have been part of the crime. I didn't want that."

"Thank you for your time with us today, Jenna. The police found the car plate on the outskirts of the city, but the body was nowhere to be found until after the storm last night and it was washed up ashore at the coast of Shikei on Sunday night. The man is not yet identified and whether the cause of death was by strangulation or drowning is still unclear. This is Amegakure Live reporting, and my name is Hanasu Nyūsu."

The video ended and it was mere seconds later that Kakashi's phone gave up its life and blacked out in his hands. Making a mental promise to revive it through the powers of electricity later, he put it back in his pocket. Outside, he saw them pass a sign that said Amegakure. It was only a few miles left now until he was home.

* * *

 **So. This chapter may have more spelling mistakes than usual due to lack of time. I'll repost it when I get some more time on my hands. If you notice anything, feel free to mention it. I felt it was better I published the chapter, spelling mistakes and all, than to let you wait even longer.**

 **I've hesitated for the longest time with this chapter – I simply didn't know if it was good enough to publish or not. I guess I'll leave that decision up to you. ;)**

 **Next chapter I believe will be pretty interesting, however…**


	20. Chapter 20 - Die

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 20 - Die

* * *

After getting out from the bus and parting with the others, Kakashi noticed a small detail he had forgotten earlier – his wallet.

He made this discovery as he tried to pay for his bus ride home. If his phone had been charged he could have paid it with it, but as it was now... well. He had a few coins in his pockets, but it didn't help him much, since the buses in Amegakure didn't take cash any more. Gai would have traveled the same way and he could normally have covered for him, but since they had parted earlier – Gai had gone to Tenzo's place – Kakashi was left on his own and had been thrown out.

It seriously sucked, and by 02:00 pm or something, he had begun to really feel that he skipped breakfast – and dinner the day before, too. He didn't have enough cash to buy as much as a hot dog, and to even think about eating sweet, cheap candy the first thing – which was the only thing he could afford at the moment – was stomach-turning.

There was nothing left to do but to walk home, and at least, he didn't have to carry anything with him. The plastic bag he had brought had been stuffed in Gai's bag on their way back.

Kakashi made a mental note to exterminate Anko and Genma the next time he met them for putting him through this, but in all fairness, Kakashi _had_ been forgetful – he should have remembered his wallet. He had been far too busy thinking about the interview with Jenna, and the screenshot from the movie last night. Truth was, the Jenna-affair was still one his mind. Had Obito truly gone insane, and murdered without hesitation and mercy, or was that time just an exception because Jenna reminded him of Rin? Did he have a reason for everything he did? If not, then was there such a thing as a middle ground between the two?

The questions were driving him mad.

Perhaps the worst thing was that all of this could just be a wild goose chase. It was already clear Deidara had pulled one over him – so why even consider the first photo to be valid? After all, it had never been confirmed that Akatsuki was responsible for the murder.

…then again, that could be because they just were _that_ good.

He had no way of knowing, really. Jenna had said they had behaved like professionals and almost treated it like an everyday occurrence, so if Akatsuki was involved, it didn't speak in Obito's favor.

Other than compliment his assassination skills and body disposal techniques.

Kakashi sighed. The only way to find a real answer was to ask Obito himself. And to do that, it would probably be the best if Obito had gotten over the whole I'm-going-to-kill-you-painfully ordeal and they were on civil speaking terms again.

Kakashi rubbed his temples. His headache, which had come so gradually he first barely noticed it, was starting to become unbearably insistent. He should have taken the time to drink something, water at least, before he left the cabin this morning. It had been too long since he last ate or drank anything. He was feeling a bit lightheaded. Maybe he was coming down with something.

Kakashi tried to awaken his comatose phone once last time, hoping for a miracle. It was no use, and he started walking. For not the first time since moving here, he wished Amegakure wasn't so damn big. It would take hours to get home, and that sucked.

He had walked for little over an hour and come about halfway when he decided to take the shortcut he had found a few months ago – the one he had found by accident after he had been stalking Obito in hope to speak to him. He was close to Rainbrook University, now. He turned away from the more commonly used roads into the slums. This part of the city was lonely and unfriendly, to a large degree a ghost town, made up of dead, empty buildings. It was only a matter of time before it would be torn down, and Kakashi guessed the only reason they hadn't been already was because the ground – which was slating down now as he walked – formed a sort of giant, shallow sinkhole that gathered water from all around. A project of filling up the place would be so expensive the area was likely to be ignored until the value it had become so high it seemed profitable enough to do something about it. As of today, few people lived here, and most that did were homeless who found temporary shelter in the buildings. He knew these streets could be dangerous to travel through at night, but he doubted he would run into trouble at daytime. Though experience told him otherwise, he was relatively sure that had been a onetime thing. Surely the neighborhood would have made a name for itself if violence was a regular occurrence in daylight.

Either way, it was chilly outside, and he was longing to come home. Exhaustion was catching up to him so he was willing to chance it if it meant getting home sooner.

However, it seemed nothing was meant to go smoothly today.

He heard a cry for help. He took a look around himself, but no other people could be seen. Cursing his lack for a working phone for the second time, he followed the sound. He couldn't just ignore it, no matter how much he might feel like it. He jogged around a corner, and his heart jumped when he saw Obito. He didn't need any time to recognize him; he just knew it like that – instantly.

Of _course_ it had to be Obito.

It wasn't Obito that had called for help, though.

The fight – if it even could be called as such – was clearly one-sided. Obito didn't use a knife or any form of weapon, but the guy – whose shout for help he'd heard – didn't do much else but take hit after hit, and Obito didn't look like he was stopping any time soon. His knuckles were bloodied.

Kakashi didn't know how it had started, because as unreasonable as Obito was he didn't _seem_ to just go around and beat people up for the fun of it, at least not unprovoked – though Kakashi wasn't too sure of anything regarding him at the moment. It wasn't relevant. In the end, whatever that had started this, the fact remained that _again_ , he was going too far.

Kakashi didn't have time to think about the consequences for his own safety, he needed to act now, before Obito noticed his presence. If Obito was aware of him that would make stopping him a whole lot of more difficult than it had to be.

Kakashi couldn't let Obito kill anyone. He had no other choice but to interfere.

He rushed forwards. In the heat of the moment, Obito didn't see him coming. Kakashi managed to grab Obito's arms and twist them behind his back. Obito growled and tried to pull free.

Kakashi gritted his teeth together, tightening his hold on him. "Run," he hissed. The man jerked at his voice, face splotchy and nose obviously disfigured. He scrambled up and ran away, wobbling and unsteady. Obito tugged forward, but Kakashi refused to let go.

"Kakashi, let me go!"

He ignored him, counted down from hundred. He needed to give the other man a head start so he could be sure to get away. Part of him was bemoaning the fact that he hadn't just stuck to the main roads and avoided all this, but there was no going back now.

" _Hatake_!"

It was hard to not shiver at that icy voice. He really had done it this time, hadn't he? Obito was going to be so pissed at him, and once Kakashi let him go–

"Fuck you, Kakashi," he spat.

–he was going to get _killed_.

The longer he restricted him, the angrier Obito would be. He swallowed, for a brief moment actually considering taking the cowardly way out of this by knocking him out and then run for his life. Or at least throw him, and then run. It would be so much simpler. But he couldn't run from him forever – pushing up his wrath would be useless – and knocking him unconscious, however tempting, definitely wouldn't help to get on his good side again - especially not after what Gai had pulled the last time.

Though, that Obito had a good side, much less one for him, wasn't that likely…

But in worse-case scenario, Obito would get revenge on him by hurting his friends. Even since Obito had taken it up, he had been worried that he would, and since Gai had stepped in, Obito had more reason to than ever to go through with his threat. No, he couldn't escape this. He needed to face it now. Try to speak to him, for once.

Obito had turned silent, stopped struggling. He was waiting. He too, knew Kakashi wouldn't hold him forever, and once he let go…

Kakashi pushed the dark thoughts out of his mind. That beat-up guy should be far away now. Enough distance had been put between them. It wasn't likely that Obito would get to him even if he took up the chase, and it wasn't that likely Obito would bother chasing after him at all. Not when he had more interesting prey at closer hand.

Kakashi let him go. His body was stiff for whatever was to come, waiting for a fist to hit him at any time. Trying to flee was useless in the long run, and he wasn't going to be a coward. He was expecting something quick and painful; instead time seemed to have slowed down. Kakashi took a slow breath to stay calm and focused – as long as he managed that, he wouldn't be in a too bad position.

And Obito turned towards him.

Slowly.

Kakashi couldn't read his eyes. Obito put his hands in his pocket.

 _Knives, check for knives, he'll stab you, can't see any, but_ –

They were close, and Obito walked closer. Kakashi refused to show weakness by backing down. Obito's grasped at his jacket and tugged him against himself. Kakashi's heart did a leap.

Afraid.

 _I'm not afraid!_

Obito's hands came to rest over his hips before his fingers slipped under his jacket, under his shirt, and moved up along the side of his body. He could feel them run over his ribs. Kakashi shivered. He didn't try to get away. The words seemed stuck in his throat. Obito pulled him closer towards himself.

He smelled good.

 _What is wrong with me?_

He didn't quite know how to explain his scent, he just knew that it was oddly attractive and that, though uncomfortable, maybe he didn't mind the hands touching him as much as he should have. Fingers moving sensually against skin made his breathing jagged and shallow. He felt paralyzed, couldn't seem to make himself move.

Obito's warm hands moved to his back, up over his shoulder blades. Kakashi could feel fingertips trace scratch marks that sharp nails had left behind a few nights ago. He closed his eyes momentarily – he couldn't bring himself to face Obito, see his reaction to this, once he understood the implications of their existence… It didn't matter. Obito _did not_ have any reason to be upset over them. Kakashi would not feel guilty over being with Anko. Obito had no claim to him.

"Obito Uchiha."

Kakashi looked up with a start, noticing several men around them. They were surrounded, and he hadn't even noticed anyone coming.

"Take out the Akatsuki leader. Don't hurt the white-haired guy – we still owe him a debt."

Obito sighed, as if annoyed, and turned to face the person talking to him. He didn't let go of Kakashi, but a hard grip around his waist held him against his body, one hand still under his clothes, caressing his flat stomach.

Kakashi tried to look indifferent over this.

It was… easier, to look indifferent while stealing test papers in front of Tsunade's inscrutable gaze than while being touched by Obito.

"I have no interest of you at the moment. Leave us alone," said Obito.

Right.

At the moment, Obito was going to punish him for meddling, and honesty Kakashi didn't think he wanted to find out how. However, he was slightly surprised that Obito had dropped his earlier object of frustration so easily – he wasn't the type to leave things unsettled. Kakashi must really have pissed him off…

"We've got you cornered. We don't intend to let you hurt him."

"Ah," Obito said. "This one?" His hand moved up over his chest. Kakashi twisted, couldn't hold back the heat that spread over his face. Obito pinched hard at his nipple, and Kakashi had to suppress a wince.

"Let him go. You're outnumbered."

"Outnumbered," Obito agreed, eyes flashing of dark humor. "But not outclassed." Obito's fingers made circles over his skin, face blatant and utterly unashamed. Kakashi was thinking of trying to pull lose, but Obito seemed to read his mind and tightened his hold in warning. He was pressed more firmly into Obito's body. Obito's free hand moved into the pocket of his hoodie. "Nor out armed," he added offhandedly. He pulled out a pistol, twirling it around his finger almost carelessly, before he pointed it.

At Kakashi.

The other gang froze, waited for Obito's next action. One tried to reach for a hidden weapon.

"A, a," Obito warned. "One wrong move, and 'bang'. He's dead."

"You…" one of the others tried to protest.

Kakashi didn't say anything. He tried to calm his pondered heart. It was important. He _needed_ to stay calm. Judo instructors, his father, Jiraiya – they had all taught him the same thing. Always stay _calm_.

It was vital.

Obito poked him with the pistol against his temple. "Why do you even care about this guy, anyway?"

"Repayment of favor. We're not going to let you kill him."

Repayment of favor… Wait. That was Zabuza's gang, wasn't it? He didn't see Zabuza, but he recognized the long-haired boy and a few others vaguely. Hadn't they learned enough by going against Obito once?

"Oh?"

Obito finally slipped the hand out from Kakashi's shirt and instead seized his arm. He pulled him so that he stood right in front of him again. His pistol slowly moved, down his neck, over his heart, before Obito finally lifted it and placed it against his lips.

Their eyes met, and this time Kakashi couldn't hide the terror in them.

"Open your mouth, Kakashi." The safety bolt was unhatched, the sharp sound cutting his ears. He could hear his heart beat wildly. "Or I'll shoot."

Kakashi parted his lips hesitantly, and Obito pushed the weapon inside him mouth, almost deep enough to make him gag. Blood was rushing in his ears, almost drowning out all other sound.

"Get any closer… or do anything unexpected… and he's dead. I'll kill him before anyone can do a thing about it."

Obito stepped towards him, making him take steps back until he hit a wall. The cool pipe was getting warm inside his mouth, and it clinked lightly against his teeth. Saliva he couldn't swallow wet his lips and slipped out from the corner of his mouth and down his chin. He was breathing hard. He felt sweat run down his neck. His heart was beating uncontrollably, thudding hard against his rib cage. Obito's face was close to his own, watching him intently. Dark amusement was flicking in his eyes.

 _I'm going to die here._

"…so. You've been helping my enemies, have you… _Kakashi_?" Obito's voice had a playful, dangerous lilt in it and was so low the others could not pick up on his words. Kakashi himself was unable to answer or defend himself.

They might have been trying to help him, but it seemed he'd only gotten in worse trouble.

Obito let out a chuckle. "Go," he said to the others, eyes still deeply focused on whatever expression Kakashi was making. "and I might spare his life."

There were some murmurings. For a while it seemed the gang was going to ignore Obito's warnings, because, after all, Kakashi's life might be a price worth to pay to get rid of their most mortal enemy – It wasn't like he meant anything to them. But then Haku barked sharply at the others, said that they owed him their lives and, at the very least they should not _contribute_ to his death… and there were some words about that Zabuza guy, again.

His jaw ached. The gun tasted iron, was hard, unwavering.

Then Kakashi heard steps against snow as the other gang retreated unwillingly, but he couldn't turn his head to look. He couldn't even make himself watch from the corner of his eye – his eyes were caught solely by Obito's.

Obito tiled his head ever so slightly. "We're alone… Kakashi."

A cold shiver run down his spine. It was difficult to breathe. He couldn't break his eyes away from Obito's.

"I told you I'd kill you eventually. Why are you so scared?"

He couldn't speak, he didn't dare move. He wasn't sure he could have, anyhow.

 _The safely catch, please, secure it…_

Obito smirked.

 _Please._

"Die," he breathed.

Kakashi's eyes widened. Obito pulled the trigger.

He didn't have time to hear anything. He didn't have time to feel anything.

Everything went black.

* * *

 **…and that's the end of the story.**

 **Nah, I'm just kidding. I'll leave you at this cliff-hanger with glee in my heart, though, because I'm evil like that. But because I'm not all evil I'll try to make the next update within a few days. ;)**

 **If you have any theories to what happened, I would be very interested to hear them! :3 And let me know what you think of the chapter. I would like to thank you all again for the lovely reviews you've given me – they've been really encouraging. I'll also take the chance to say that though it's been sometime between the updates, I am not planning on dropping this story. It's as good as finished; really, it's the editing that eats time. If I do drop the story, I've probably died. XD**

 **Have a nice weekend, everybody!**


	21. Chapter 21 - The Cost of Saving a Life

**I got a guest review (yeah, I'm talking about you NatNicole!) that took up an important thing about chapter 19 – women aren't the only ones raped. It's important that people are aware of that, so I'm glad you picked up on it. In most societies, however, rape on men is rarely talked about. That was one of the reasons I made the reporter unaware or simply uncaring of the issue – or maybe she was just being thoughtless and generalized all rape victims to women. She is just an 'average' character representing society, not what necessarily what is right or correct.**

 **I just wanted to make it clear that I agree with you. Otherwise, thanks for a lovely review! :D**

 **I've also had a number of people asking me to write a chapter from Obito's POV. I'm sorry, but I won't. I contemplated writing this from either Obito's or Kakashi's POVs, or from both. In the end, I decided on this for a reason. Writing this from Obito's POV would make an entirely different story. One chapter wouldn't do him justice and I felt a shifting POV to be too messy. I could give you all my reasons. But to keep this A/N to an acceptable length, I'll simply say this: Not knowing adds to his mystery – this way, all readers can and will draw find their own explanations to the reasons behinds his actions, and I like that.**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

The Cost of Saving a Life

* * *

When Kakashi came to again, he blinked, staring up at a roof he didn't recognize.

What was this…? Where was he?

…didn't he get shot?

"Awake?"

Obito's voice? What the hell was going on…?

His head was spinning with confusion.

Obito sat down on the bed next to him, looking down at him. Kakashi felt puzzled. "Charade," Obito said after a minute or two, as if that explained anything. At the moment, it only bemused him further.

"What?" he croaked, finding his own voice raspy and dry.

"I was just acting," said Obito. Seeing Kakashi's bewildered expression, Obito made a pistol with two of his fingers and 'fired' at him. "The gun," he clarified, "wasn't loaded."

The gun.

It wasn't loaded.

 _Oh._

"…oh?"

"...yeah." The smug expression was there again. "I made you faint."

He had made – what? Fuck. He fainted? How embarrassing. Obito must think he was the weakest fuzz ever born on this planet at the moment, but–

He could still feel it. The pistol on his tongue. The taste of metal. The raw fear, his heartbeat that seemed to come to a halt as Obito pulled the trigger–

"…why?"

 _Why didn't you kill me?_

Obito understood his question. His eyes narrowed. "Not yet. I'm not finished with you." Then he shrugged. "The simple explanation? I'm out of ammo at the moment."

"Oh…" Kakashi looked away, glancing over the room he was in. It was sparely decorated, echoingly empty but for the bed, a drawer and a few clothes lazily thrown to the floor. It looked rather impersonal. No colors. No photos. No posters. It almost reminded him of a prison cell.

"Why am I here?" Kakashi asked. "…and where is here?"

Obito tilted his head. "This is my place," he said.

That only gave him a more questions – how in the world did Obito manage to get him here?

Kakashi gave the room another look – he really couldn't have been able to tell. "So…" he said.

"I _was_ going to leave you," Obito admitted, "But I thought better of it. Wouldn't be much fun left for me if you froze to death. Or if somebody found you and sold your guts to the black market," he added, almost like an afterthought. Judging from his expression, that idea wasn't too unappealing – and if it was unwished for it was more because _he_ wouldn't be the one to cut him up, personally.

Kakashi just gave him a blank look. While he did know that quite a few nasty incident had taken place in the more dangerous parts of the city; that, at least, was an exaggeration.

Probably.

"So I turned around," said Obito, unaffected by Kakashi's unimpressed gesture. "By the time I got back, you had already been lying in the snow for a while and by the time I got you here you were cold and wet, so…" he searched for Kakashi's eyes, and Kakashi looked up only when he realized Obito wasn't going to continue until he did.

"I undressed you."

 _Fuck._

He had known there was something–

And after Obito's actions lately…

Kakashi jerked up in a sitting position, blushing furiously, and pulling the covers tighter around himself. "What did you do?" he hissed. He couldn't _feel_ anything wrong right now, but–

 _No, no, no, no…_

He was thinking slowly still – that scare had taken a bigger toll on him than expected, so it was harder to analyze things, maybe lack of food – heck, he didn't even realized he was naked until Obito straight out told him so, so for all he knew–

"You thought I took advantage of you while unconscious?" Obito snorted. "Hell no. What would be the fun in that? You'd be unresponsive, and you wouldn't remember anything."

That was… good? Or not, considering he was naked right now, wasn't unconscious anymore, and wait, was this Obito's _bed_? Kakashi shuffled further away from him.

"You're still freezing, so I made a hot bath for you," said Obito, getting up and looking at Kakashi with a glance that expected him to follow.

Kakashi pulled the blanket higher, fingers gripping harder into it. "No."

Obito… didn't look impressed. "You do realize how lucky you've gotten away, I assume?"

Kakashi watched him warily. Yeah, he did realize, but that didn't mean–

Instead of pulling out a knife, which Kakashi was half-expecting him to, Obito sighed, as if Kakashi was the unreasonable one. He didn't continue his threats but simply stepped forward and tried to pull the blanket from him. Kakashi refused to let go of it. So Obito picked up Kakashi, blanket and all, instead.

Kakashi spluttered. "Hey! Let me _go_!" he snarled.

He didn't get any answer.

Obito was obviously strong. He carried him like it was nothing, yet their weights must be almost the same. Somewhere on the way, the blanket was dropped, and Kakashi felt Obito's palm against his bare thigh. He tried to not think of it. He also wondered if it would be a good idea to fight Obito naked, but he deemed the chance that he would be pinned under Obito's body as far too high for him to take the risk.

Better just go along with it, for now.

Kakashi was dropped roughly on his butt in the bath. Water splashed over Obito, who stumbled and grabbed the edge of the tub to not fall in himself – bringing their faces alarmingly close together.

Kakashi was tense, eyes locked on Obito's until he managed to make himself breathe again, lean back, away from him. He crossed his arms in a defensive gesture, and tried to ignore the other. Damn, he was colder than he had first realized, and this water was so warm it felt scorning hot first, but now… it felt good.

He closed his eyes, and sighed in relief when he opened them a moment later and found Obito gone.

He couldn't put his finger on it, but something between them, the way they interacted, seemed to have changed.

He almost gave into the temptation of thinking that it was Obito had changed – why else wouldn't he have pulled Gai into this, why else would he bother to make sure Kakashi was warm despite his obvious dislike for him – but then he remembered that he had held a gun with the safety bolt unsecured in his mouth – unloaded, but still – and–

No. Obito was still a sadistic bastard. The reason he did this… the only reason he did _any_ of this was to mess with his head, and since Kakashi was even thinking along these lines, it meant that Obito had succeeded. He had managed to confuse him, reconsider what he believed his objectives to be.

Had Obito looked at him differently?

No… No, not really. He masked his expressions well, but what he had managed to see whenever that façade broke was hate, and burning anger, and indifference for Kakashi's pain and sufferings. Kakashi had thought he saw _something_ , just for the fraction of a second – but then it was gone and it must have been imagined.

Kakashi clenched his fists. Something had changed, still. It just wasn't Obito.

He didn't want to admit it, but something had changed, and it was _him_.

And he still didn't want to admit it, but there was no denying it anymore.

He was falling. Falling for the person hating him, falling for the one he could never dream to be together with in any healthy way. Falling for the man who wanted him dead, the man whose love he had killed.

Life, truly, was brutal.

When did he get attracted to Obito? When did the emotional attachment grow so deep?

Because the reason he had interfered in the fight first and foremost was _not_ for the man who needed help, but for Obito – because Kakashi could let him kill another human being, couldn't let him sink even deeper into the dark abyss of crime and death. He would have helped any other person, true – but his objective had all changed when he saw Obito – it went from protecting the victim to protecting the assaulter. Both meant stopping Obito, but the difference was still significant.

He should have seen the signs earlier.

He didn't want this. He wanted Obito back, the old Obito, his _friend_ , the boy with the big, kind heart, not this… man who only wanted to hurt him, humiliate him. Using any means possible.

And maybe Kakashi falling for him was just part of his ugly scheme. To break his heart, like Kakashi had done to him. Kakashi could see the irony in that. But who could have foreseen that he would develop feelings for someone who treated him like dirt? He didn't understand it. He didn't _want_ to feel like this.

He could blame these thoughts on the shock, or exhaustion talking – sure. But there was a prickling feeling deep inside of him that made him think this was more than just empty ravings.

Obito returned, this time undressed, and had Kakashi not been naked he would have flown out of the bathtub and gotten the hell out of there. As it was, he covered himself with his hands as well as he managed to and refused to look at him – until water splashed and the surface rose dangerously high to the edge, and he realized Obito was getting into the tub too.

He panicked.

Quietly.

Obito's legs touched his, ankles running up his inner thighs. Kakashi tried to close his legs, but Obito wouldn't let him, kept them parted with his knees. So Kakashi gritted his teeth together and hoped this was just one of Obito's many mental torture scenes that abused his mind instead of his body.

Obito too, leaned back to let his head rest against the edge like Kakashi had earlier done.

They sat like that, Kakashi wanting, but not daring to get up.

The bathtub seemed horribly small.

 _Where has he even put my clothes…?_

Obito's eyes were closed, so Kakashi took advantage of their proximity by taking a good look at his scars. He hadn't had a good chance to see how they had healed until now, not without obviously staring.

The traces of fire were still there, the marks left behind by caressing flames would never disappear. They marked his right arm, caressed the side of his right face and touched parts of his torso briefly. Of course Kakashi hated that he had gotten them because of him, that it was his fault they were there, but at the same time it made him feel warm inside of how much Obito had once cared about him, of how much he had been willing to sacrifice. But as a matter of fact, those scars didn't look bad at all. They hardly added any beauty, but… they did look kind of badass. He noticed a few normal scars as well – obviously left behind by sharper weapons than flames. A pale gash had been cut over his shoulder at some point. It had healed well, but Kakashi didn't like that he had gotten cut so close to his neck. A few thinner lines were drawn over his arms and torso, but none too noticeable and he noted the same for his hands resting on the edge of the tub.

Kakashi was just starting to relax, accept that nothing was really going to happen this time. Obito had always been blunt and direct, at least about this, but–

His eyes snapped open, watching him.

Kakashi gut a funny feeling in his gut, and it wasn't a good funny feeling, either.

Obito sat up more fully. Still holding his eyes, Obito shifted closer to Kakashi – moved in between his legs. Suddenly his hands rested on side each of Kakashi's body. He leaned closer. Kakashi shivered.

Obito's hands left the tub to touch Kakashi's shoulders. They moved to his chest, lower. Kakashi bit his teeth together, steeled his hands covering his groin, and paid no heed to Obito's fingertips that ran teasingly over his hands. They touched his inner thighs, continued higher up, and–

"W-wait..." he choked out, squirming, trying to move away from the wandering hands without any room to do so. "Obito, please– "

Shit, he should have realized this wasn't enough for _him_.

Obito's fingers slipped higher up, one of them pushing inside.

Kakashi gasped, grabbed Obito's shoulders and tried to shove him away. Obito planted his feet on the other side of the tub and held back, his index finger entrancing further in. A wave of water rolled over the edge and splashed down on the floor at the sudden movement. Realizing that he had exposed himself full frontal view, he covered himself again, not knowing what to do next.

"Stop it!" said Kakashi.

It was a weird, foreign sensation and it _wasn't supposed to be there_. Nobody had touched him like that before, not there. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but it was a strange feeling, embarrassing over all else. His face was burning.

Obito's finger pushed deeper, making Kakashi tense. It then slipped out partly, was pushed in again. The motion was repeated, touching him from the inside – aimlessly at first, before he started searching for something…

His face, ears, neck, and shoulders – everything felt hot. "Obito…" he begged. He didn't want this, but… Obito's finger grazed against a certain spot and his head fell forward with a soundless gasp, leaning on Obito's body, his breathless pants washing over Obito's collarbone.

Obito instantly picked up on his reaction. His hand moved again – finger deliberately rubbing over the same place he previously touched, making Kakashi bite into his lips to hold back a moan.

How could it feel good to be touched there?

He was too occupied to realize that he was getting an erection until he felt the hardness press against his own hands. There was no way he'd be able to hide that, not for long. Why did he feel like this? Obito smelled good, he noted for the third – or maybe fourth – time that day.

What _the fuck_ was wrong with him?

Obito pulled out, and Kakashi thought that maybe, just maybe, he was done with him for this time. But Obito didn't move away. He pushed in again, this time using two fingers. It stretched, and now it did hurt, and Kakashi let out a low moan against Obito's wet skin. His lips were parted against him, drawing in shallow and rough breaths. He felt feverish – too weak to even attempt pulling free.

Obito thrust into him, and Kakashi grunted in pretended pain, rather than to let the sound of pleasure be heard. His erection got harder as Obito continued to stimulate what he could only assume to be his prostate. Though he knew of its existence, he had never felt the need to touch himself there, and seeing as he had only been with girls before – none really into that sort of thing – he had never really gotten a reason to learn more about it.

Until now.

Kakashi gritted his teeth together, and ignored his erection.

Obito noticed, though.

His pulled Kakashi's hands away, pinned them against the wall over his head, so he couldn't hide himself anymore. His back hurt from the new position as the bathtub pressed against his back.

Obito didn't mention it out loud, but he smirked, tongue drawing lines and circles over the skin at his neck. Lips closed over his pulse and sucked. A soft noise escaped his lips, something between a panting and a moan, and he arched back. The sensations were overwhelming.

What was –––– how could this arouse him?

Gently, Obito's fingers nudged his prostate again. He prodded against it, slowly and almost experimentally at first, but steadily honing in on the most sensitive place. Kakashi withered. The touches grew into more rhythmic thrusts, and the sensations could be felt all the way out through his cock. Kakashi gasped. His hands clenched and muscles flexed and rigid – trying desperately not to thrash around and whimper. He buried his face in the crook of Obito's neck again, tried to hide his face, breathing in the scent of shampoo, cologne and sweat and everything else that smelled like him. He moaned, tried to muffle the sounds against skin when Obito fucked him with his fingers.

How did he go from stopping murder, to gunpoint, to… this?

He was giving himself away, and… Obito would use it against him, somehow. Dark spots in varying sizes clouded his vision, but maybe that was because he had forgotten how to breathe.

"Kakashi," Obito breathed in his ear, and Kakashi would have shuddered had not pleasure shot through his body and made him tense.

 _Fuck, no. This isn't good…_

"Obi– "

 _Not again._

Obito pushed again – harder, rougher – and he came, visibly clouding the clear water, spurting out hot liquid between them and he just _couldn't_ hide it.

It wasn't fair.

Obito knew what he was doing to him. He not only claimed what he had no right to, but pushed further, took things he hadn't given anyone before, things he had no right to take.

Kakashi was still hiding his face in Obito's neck, panting, leaning his forehead heavily against him. His heart was still racing, limbs trembling. He still felt lightheaded from the climax.

Obito pulled his fingers out, making Kakashi fidget at the motion. His face was burning with shame, and when Obito moved back, let his hands go, and he no longer could hide from him by being too close, he jerked his head to the side, a hand shielding his face from Obito's gaze. His eyes burned, and he blinked away tears, and it was _ridiculous_ and _pathetic_ because he hadn't cried since– since… Well, since Rin died, really.

It wasn't fair, but what had he expected? That Obito would let him just get away after having restricted him forcefully? After what Gai had done? That was just unreal. Even if he had managed to get away unhurt physically, that didn't mean Obito wouldn't try to hurt him in other ways. Obito knew, perhaps better than anyone else, that bodily injuries both hurt less and was easier to than emotional ones. And so he aimed for Kakashi's heart instead.

But he refused to give Obito the satisfaction of making him cry.

Obito wouldn't have him hiding, and pulled his hand away, turned his head to his with a firm hold under his chin. He rose to his knees, loomed over him like a dark shadow as he held his face up towards his, while Kakashi sat weak and boneless in cooling water.

His fighting spirit seemed to be all gone.

Obito smirked at his silent submission. His thumb brushed over Kakashi's lower lip. "I would take my time, but… I have business to take care of, so I can't play with you anymore."

He let him go, though Kakashi knew it wasn't out of any feeling like mercy, compassion or sympathy, but rather because he had gotten Kakashi where he wanted – because he didn't need to go further right now. Because he had other, more important, things to do.

And he was already one step closer to breaking him irreversibly.

"We'll continue this some other time," promised Obito. He got up, draped a towel around himself.

Kakashi clenched his teeth, looked down in the cloudy water.

 _Fuck._

He sat frozen as he heard Obito dress and slam the door shut.

It took a few minutes before he had managed to collect himself enough to get up. Even then, his legs still felt weak and shaky. Trying not to pity himself too much – that would have been what Obito wanted – he emptied the tub, and showered clean. He was reaching for Obito's body wash and shampoo by old habit, but managed to catch himself in time.

It wasn't a good idea for him to be surrounded by the scent of Obito all the time. To clean himself with Obito's products would basically be self-inflicted torture. Obito didn't need the help.

 **o o o**

The thing was, though, that Obito had apparently intended to take this mission of making Kakashi's life miserable as far as possible. He had, somehow, either hid or disposed of Kakashi's clothes while he had been unconscious. Because Kakashi couldn't find them _anywhere_.

Now, Kakashi could stay until Obito returned and demand he give them back to him.

If lacked an IQ all together, that was.

If he stayed here, especially naked at that, he doubted little that Obito would fuck his brains out when he returned, and since he had avoided that fate for the time being, he hoped to keep avoiding it for more than just a few hours. So he swallowed his pride and used Obito's clothes – which made him smell like the guy in the end, either way he went about it.

When he got home he dropped down in bed within a minute.

He would have taken the clothes off at once, but in his defense it was late and he was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. His head hurt. Right now, he was too tired to even eat anything.

So he fell asleep.

Younger Obito would never have let him live it down ( _"Are you cuddling with my clothes, Kakashi? I mean, I know you love me, but that's taking it too far!")_ As for older Obito… he would… he would…

His eyebrows furrowed and he turned around in bed, unwilling images of Obito's eyes _darkening, pinning him down, licking his stomach and fingers pressing into him_ –

 _And then Obito is breathing harder too, and suddenly it's not just fingers any more_ –

 _Kakashi is panting, and the pleasure is there again, the need, Obito's warm skin, wet, sweaty, scarred_ –

Kakashi sat up, gasping for air. He tugged off the t-shirt smelling so much like _him_ , threw it across the room with a vengeance. It hit the wall on the other side with a low thud. He kicked off the pants. He then returned to whirl the blankets hard around him, until he was wrapped in like a cocoon. But it was still cold. Freezing, even. He would have turned the heaters up to maximum had he not been too tired to get out of his bed. He fell asleep shivering, cold, so very, very cold, tucked underneath the blankets, and his head was spinning, spinning. It was throbbing in pain.

He dreamt he was lying in snow.

He didn't wake up next morning until 10:20 and he greeted the day with curse words at his tardiness and fever. He was trying to get up when he noticed a note on the table, and suddenly his heart was beating too hard – _Obito_ , how did Obito get in here, how did he _find_ him? But then he recognized the handwriting and took it.

 _Kakashi._

 _You were asleep and burning up with a fever when I came by for our morning sprint, so I let you sleep. I put antipyretics and a glass of water at the bedside table. I will inform our mentor of your illness._

 _Get well!_

 _-Gai_

 _PS. I forgot to give you back your wallet. According to Kurenai's test, you're lonely, antisocial, organized, sarcastic and reserved. Don't worry though – hip wasn't even a possible outcome!_

Kakashi breathed out in soft relief, realizing Gai just saved him from getting marked as tardy because of invalid absence. He noticed the plastic bag he had brought to Yukiga placed on the floor in a corner of the room. And he had gotten his wallet back, too.

He muttered a 'thank you' to his friend, and even considered sending a SMS for a brief moment, before he decided not to. His phone was still not charged and he couldn't bother with that now. So he took a glass of water and went back to sleep.

If Obito thought he wasn't in school because he was avoiding him, he couldn't make himself care.

 **o o o**

Kakashi stayed in bed until that afternoon, when he was very ungratefully awakened by the same person he had felt such gratitude towards when he first woke up. At least his headache had eased, which made him feel a whole lot better than he had this morning. His temperature was going down, too. Hopefully he would be back on his feet in a day or two.

"Hey, sickling."

"Excuse me?"

"Sickling," said Gai. "I can't possibly call you a 'rival' in this state, can I? And 'sicko' sounds rude. 'Sickling' is like a cross between sick and duckling, so that doesn't sound too bad."

Kakashi started coughing and not because his cold either, thank you very much. When he finally had finished choking on nothing, he gave Gai one of the darkest glares he could muster – considering his was sick, had black bags under his eyes, and simply couldn't be very threatening right now.

"Exactly what about me remind you of a _duckling_?"

"Ehm…" Gai's face turned blank. "I suppose…. It's because you were so small when you were younger," Gai suggested. "And your hair is white. Though maybe geese are generally whiter than ducks are? Anyhow, birds are youthful," he reassured.

Kakashi managed to look threatening despite his poor condition in this stage.

Gai took a step back and laughed nervously. "Don't worry! You're tall now! Like a swan?"

His eyebrow twitched. And then he leaped at him. "Gai! Stop comparing me to _birds_! Come back here!"

"Kakashi, you must rest! You should still be in bed!"

"Coward!"

Kakashi threw himself after him. Gai managed to jump away from him quite easily, with only aggravated him further. He turned to his self-proclaimed rival (except for right now, apparently, because now Kakashi looked like a sick baby _duck_ to him) and was about to rush for him again when Gai pushed a brown paper bag between them.

Kakashi stopped. He had not eaten that day – and, when he thought about it, it had been _ages_ since he had eaten. At least it felt that way. And the bag was warm, and smelled delicious. So he accepted the peace-offering with takeout food, sulking still as he climbed back into his bed again. Okay, so that was kind of nice of him and maybe Kakashi should forget the insult – after all, this was Gai and he didn't mean anything by it–

Nuggets.

It was _chicken_ nuggets.

Kakashi looked up at his friend – now his _former_ friend. Soon to be _deceased_ , _former_ friend.

Gai paled.

"Oh no," he said, warningly. "You _didn't_."

"You're reading way too much into this! It wasn't my intention!"

Kakashi growled, and with a bag of chicken nuggets between his teeth, a pillow in his right hand and fingers armed with short nails ready to claw with his other, Kakashi charged at him.

Within twenty seconds, the winner had been decided.

Sitting on Gai and choking him underneath a plump pillow while eating hot chicken nuggets, Kakashi was already feeling much better. Sometimes he wondered if anyone, least of all himself, could understand their friendship. He devoured the food like a starving animal, quite content with his seat.

Just as he was finishing the last of his Coca-Cola, Tenzo walked in. He froze as if he had just seen aliens rather than two perfectly normal teenagers. So Kakashi removed the pillow from Gai's face so that Tenzo didn't need to think Kakashi has actually killed him (and so that he didn't have to receive the judging alien-eyed look alone).

Then he caught the twinkle in Gai's eye and they both leaped at the younger boy.

Tenzo shirked, because judoka or not, he didn't have time to do much else.

They managed to tackle the brunet to the floor, but shortly after that Gai broke one of the pillows, sending feathers all over the room. They seemed to be pulled towards Kakashi's gravity-defying, static hair, and Kakashi glared at Gai, _daring_ him to say anything about it.

Gai was wise and didn't mention it.

Tenzo, however, did. "Kakashi-sempai, you look like a white turkey!" he laughed out through the still falling white, fluffy feathers, and Kakashi couldn't really be mad at him, because they _had_ been two against one, after all, and besides, he was younger. It hadn't been fair.

Also, Tenzo was damn cute, and because it was just the three of them, Kakashi leaned forward and ruffled his hair.

He had wanted to do it for too long.

* * *

 **I had a couple of worried reviewers, so I feel obligated to give a short clarification in case this chapter didn't explain enough. Blanks can, indeed, injure or even kill on a short rage. What Obito did was dry firing. That is, to pull the trigger on an empty gun. Dry firing is sometimes used in practice, for example to learn to pull the trigger smoothly. While there are a few firearms that take harm from dry firing, most modern ones don't. B.B. Pelletier at Airgun Academy explains it much better than I can, so I'll just quote, 'On the SAM 10 target pistol, the dry-fire lever at the top of the receiver is pulled back each time to cock the trigger. You can feel the sear release when the trigger is pulled; but since the hammer was not cocked, it doesn't strike the valve and no air is exhausted.' In short, as long as Obito used the correct firearm, no physical harm should have come to Kakashi.**

 **Congrats to jackita who was the only one who guessed that the gun was empty!**

 **(…but, uh, I don't own any gun personally, so for the sake of the story, let's just hope I haven't gotten it wrong somehow.)**

 **Otherwise *drum, drum, drum, drum!* What do you think of the chapter? How much longer do you think Kakashi will endure the way Obito is treating him? Will he be ruled by fear – or snap? Do you think realizing his feelings for Obito will make it all the more difficult fighting him? Tell me! XD**

 **I'll give you three words for next chapter: smooties, calculus and ribs. Make what you can of that. XD**


	22. Chapter 22 - A Will to Refuse

o o o

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 22 - A Will to Refuse

* * *

Kakashi recovered from his cold within a few days. Maybe it was Gai's venomous-looking vegan green smoothies that did it, maybe the treatment of Icha Icha reading.

Gai and Tenzo had come to his place straight after school. They had been there doing homework and bothered him ever since. Most of the time they had – Gai more than anyone else, really – been persistently nagging him about the importance of eating healthy when sick, in order to get him to drink the new youthful smoothies of his invention – which was kind of funny, considering Gai had been the one to buy him junk food just the other day. Kakashi wasn't about to mention that, though.

He liked getting fries and chicken-bits.

He did not like green smoothies.

Kakashi had blatantly refused to drink those smoothies for the longest time, but Gai had been unyielding and incredibly stubborn. Tenzo found it hilarious and helped to tear him down together with Gai.

Kakashi swore to never forgive them.

Also, if Tenzo ever got sick, he would forcefully pour that green slime down his throat as payback. Kakashi could _see_ that Tenzo found them every bit as horrifying as Kakashi did, and still he tried to make Kakashi drink it. The hypocrite.

At least Gai didn't try to get him to drink something he wasn't man enough to swallow himself. But just because Gai survived it didn't mean others would.

Kakashi didn't trust those green drinks at all.

However, after Gai had demonstrated step-by-step to Kakashi how the smoothie was made and thereby assured him that it really didn't contain anything else but bananas, lemon-juice and fresh spinach leaves, Kakashi had very hesitantly agreed to drink it if they only gave him some peace and quiet. Both feeling pleased with having been able to persuade Kakashi to give the drink a chance, they left him alone in his room with the first silence he had had for over two hours.

Kakashi used the first five minutes to still his headache.

Then he opened the window, all very quietly, and emptied the nasty drink outside.

Everything would probably have gone very smoothly had not his neighbor just passed by bellow and gotten the nutritious banana-spinach-lemon mix in her hair.

One scream and his deed was instantly known to Gai and Tenzo, both whom were both very disappointed with him. Not quite as 'disappointed' as the lady who now had smoothie in her hair, though. She was downright boiling over with anger, and Kakashi was absolutely convinced he saw smoke coming out from her nostrils for a while.

Kakashi tried to tell her that it probably was a very good hair-mask that would give her hair new life and shine, but sadly, the old lady only took that as an insult.

"Do you mean to say my hair has lost its lustre, young man!?"

Save that incident, his day was quite ordinary, and his peace returned after Gai and Tenzo left for judo practice and he could return to his books – however, unfortunately not before they had managed to get him to drink one of those green things out of pure obstinacy.

He was as good as well by Thursday afternoon, but he stayed home one extra day. And as much as he told himself it was because he needed to make sure he was completely recovered from his cold, it had a lot to do with Obito. He wasn't exactly in a hurry to meet him again at the moment.

o o o

But weekends only last so long, and Monday approached all too soon. And so did Obito.

Kakashi was rarely all alone in school, but they had had a test in Calculus this morning and he had finished earlier than all others. Mathematics came easy to him, but the others struggled with sleep-drunken minds after the weekend.

Even Kakashi agreed that a math test first thing Monday morning was just plain cruel.

The first classes had not yet ended, so the halls were almost deserted when he saw Obito. Obito didn't look mad, but the way his eyes caught Kakashi's from the other end of the corridor made Kakashi uneasy.

His heart picked up speed as Obito started walking towards him.

There was no way to escape him without being painfully obvious – they were the only students there – so Kakashi began browsing through his book in hope to look indifferent. He was painfully aware of the steps coming closer, though. He didn't look up when two feet stopped in front of his.

"I believe we have each other's clothes," Obito said, conversably.

Kakashi decided that perhaps, for once, it was better that he met Obito alone. He did not want his friends to hear that. It would be a pain explaining why when they didn't get along with each other… especially for Gai. He would draw conclusions – and would be right in doing so.

"They're in my locker," said Kakashi, still staring down at the page. He dug up his key. "I'll get them for you."

"No. Don't bother. Listen," said Obito, taking half a step closer. "Come to my place tonight. You can bring them with you then."

"I already have plans," said Kakashi. His throat suddenly felt dry and his voice sounded almost hoarse when he answered.

"Oh? You'll just have to cancel."

A door opened nearby, a wave of students coming out from a lecture that had ended – luckily not one class in which his friends took. Suddenly Obito stepped closer – much closer – and Kakashi's head hit the wall when he pulled back to avoid contact.

"My place," said Obito, voice deep and low, but loud enough for everyone standing nearby to hear him. "Tonight. Be there at nine… _Kakashi_."

Obito then spun around with a smirk that made the other students flinch away from him, and walked away. One girl dared throw a fearful look in his direction, but the rest of the students scurried away.

Every one of them avoided Kakashi's eyes.

Then Gai came out from the classroom and threw an arm around his neck, and Genma followed and punched his shoulder, because 'how dare he be absent from school an entire week and then be the first one to finish his calculus test, with probably all answers correct, too?' Instantly, it felt as if a knot in his stomach dissolved, and the tense atmosphere for earlier disappeared.

Kakashi laughed, because his friends were just that awesome, and they didn't avoid him, and they were just so normally abnormal and he _loved_ them. He also ruffled Tenzo's hair again, and, later that day, made sure to mention something about how his sexual preferences wasn't _necessarily_ limited to women at the lunch table, while throwing Asuma a suggestive wink and adding that he was indeed open about trying out new kinks, which made Asuma turn red and splutter, and the rest of the table laugh. (But honestly, Asuma deserved to have it thrown back at him, the monster.)

Yeah, he definitely loved his friends.

Kakashi tried to keep Obito's 'request' out of his head for the longest time possible. When he came home, he hadn't decided what to do, and at 08:58 pm, Kakashi had still not made up his mind about it. Of course, by then there was no way he would make it to Obito's apartment in time – so perhaps he had, indirectly.

When the clock struck nine, all Kakashi could think was 'screw this!' as he ran into his bedroom, locked the door and tried to go to sleep. It was well after midnight that Kakashi drifted off.

He didn't feel very happy about going to school the next day.

Obito would be pissed.

o o o

The following morning Kakashi left a plastic bag of clothes by Obito's locker. He knew very well that Obito couldn't care less about the clothes – the problem was Kakashi's disobedience. He felt like he was waiting on a ticking bomb – one he knew was coming, and couldn't avoid.

Nothing happened on Tuesday.

Nothing happened on Wednesday.

In the end of the school week, Kakashi almost wished that he had just done what Obito told him to so that he didn't need to wait for so long. He knew there would be… consequences of his refusal, but he didn't know when or where or how, and the waiting was tearing him down, because he knew that Obito wasn't going to forget it, and despite all the time that had passed Kakashi was no closer to figuring out how to deal with him.

Kakashi didn't as much as see Obito again until Thursday, and only on that afternoon after school did he approach him. He sat down beside Kakashi when he waited for his bus, but didn't as much as look at him when he put his hand over his thigh as his bus rolled into the school grounds.

Kakashi resisted the urge to just get up and leave. It was no use pushing it up anymore, the suspense was eating him alive. He just wanted to get it over with. The strained tension – and Obito's presence – was noticed by Gai, who asked if Kakashi would like him to stay.

Kakashi hesitated before he told him he would be fine and reassured his friend that they would meet at the dojo.

Maybe.

He hoped they would.

Gai gave Obito a distrustful look – which was ignored – but he didn't go against Kakashi's wishes after being told a flat 'no'.

The bus drove away and soon the entire school grounds were echoingly empty. Obito stood up and told him to follow him as he walked behind a school building to shield them from curious eyes. Kakashi stood up and walked after him slowly, getting a bad feeling about the whole ordeal.

As they walked around a corner, Obito turned around and threw a fist at him.

Being a material artist for quite some time by now, Kakashi automatically caught his hand, surprising both himself and Obito who didn't really expect him to put up resistance.

Obito's eyes turned murderous, the mask he so often wore shattering entirely as his face contorted in rage, and Kakashi let Obito's hand go as he took a few steps back and swallowed.

Obito managed to regain his composure. "Go stand by the wall," he said, quietly.

Deidara's warning was suddenly ringing loud in his mind. Something about Obito screamed danger, and to make him even angrier didn't seem like a good idea. He didn't trust Deidara one bit anymore, of course – he had been stupid to ever do so – but Kakashi got the uncomfortable feeling that something was… off. Despite the calmness, Obito looked furious.

Kakashi doubted he could take him on alone, but to just let Obito beat him up was not an option.

In the end, Kakashi didn't get to be the one to make that decision.

Obito lunged at him, and hit him hard in his stomach, moving so fast and unexpectedly that Kakashi didn't have any time to react. He felt the air leave his lungs at the impact – pain exploded in his abdomen and he doubled over. Obito took a step forward and kneed him in his ribs. A cracking sound broke the silence. Kakashi groaned as his knees started to give up under him.

Instantly, Obito was on him again. The hits were merciless.

Obito grabbed his head and slammed it back against the wall – his head collided with stone, teeth clanged together, and his vision clouded. He tasted blood.

He didn't have any experience of these kinds of attacks, and Obito didn't give him any time to recover.

This time, he was the one who had let down his guard.

Obito turned him around and jerked his arm backwards. With a sickeningly plop he disconnected his shoulder. The sharp pain made him cry out. He would have screamed, had he had the air to do so.

Everything seemed to be hurting and his head was throbbing. Obito let him go and he fell to the ground on his chest. He choked on nothing – his ribs hurt so much he felt as if he could barely breathe, and his head was pulsing with excruciating pain.

His consciousness quickly faded and his surroundings became dim, darkened. Patches of nothingness swam in front of his eyes. He was vaguely aware of a figure leaning down over him, whispering something in his ear. Kakashi couldn't bring himself to remember who it might be, and he couldn't pick up what the person was trying to say either.

His world spun until it turned black.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw white. The brightness stung his eyes and he had to blink a few times before he could open them completely. His chest ached something horrible.

Where was he?

His right shoulder was swollen and throbbing. He felt ill.

What had happened to him? His memory was a fuss. Black hair, dark eyes… right. Obito. It took a few seconds before all that had happened returned to him and started to make sense of things.

A blonde woman leaned over him. "Do you know what your name is?"

"Kakashi. Kakashi Hatake," he murmured, taking only very shallow breaths because of the pain in his lower chest wouldn't allow him to breathe any deeper.

The woman felt familiar, but at the moment, he couldn't place his finger on who she was. He felt that he should know her. She gave him a pill and a glass. "Try to swallow this. It will help ease the pain."

With some help from her, he managed to.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Do I know you?"

"I'm the Tsunade Senju. You were lucky…. I was leaving for the day when Shizune found you passed out and brought you here. If we had missed you, you could have stayed there until morning."

Tsunade… Miss Senju. Right. The principal.

"Hello there again, Kakashi," Shizune said from the corner as he caught her eye. "Remember me?" Kakashi gave her a nod, but regretted it instantly. Pain shot through his head at the movement. He hissed, and Tsunade reached out and supported him, less the dizziness made him fall out of bed.

Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows, confused. His head still seemed to be spinning, but unless he moved it, the lack of pain could almost be described as blissful. Slowly, slowly, he laid back down again.

"But then… why…" he began.

"I used to be a doctor," said Tsunade. The hospital is like a second home to me. You have three broken ribs on your left side, and one disconnected arm… And your insides must be a mush, judging by the purple mark on your stomach."

"I– "

Suddenly he felt very sick. Tsunade had just enough time to place a bucket under him before he threw up. Again, the movement made an unforgiving wave of pain flow through his head.

"Don't move too much – you've hit your head quite hard, so you probably have a concussion."

A few minutes later when Kakashi had emptied his stomach and gotten a new tablet for the pain, he muttered, "Thank you. I'm sorry for being so much trouble." The painkillers were starting to work, and it felt a little easier to breathe and think again.

"Never mind that. You shouldn't move for a few hours – rather not until the day after tomorrow or so, if you can help it. Is there anyone I can call to come and get you?"

"There's my grandfather, but he doesn't live in the city. I'd rather not worry him if I can help it. If I rest for a while– "

"Don't even think about it," Tsunade snapped. He exhaled slowly, rubbing her temples. "If that's how you feel, I can understand. It's okay." Tsunade sat down on a chair she pulled closer to him. "I'll drive you home when you feel a little bit better. I have no family, so I'm in no hurry to go anywhere. You'll have to ask some friends over to take care of you. But first, we need to talk."

Her eyes pierced his.

"Tell me what happened. Don't worry; what you say will stay within these four walls… unless you chose differently."

"Isn't it obvious what has happened?" he muttered. He clenched his fists. Now, he felt ashamed over not protecting himself better. It had been one thing if Obito had sent his gang members on him, but this time, it had been one on one. He should have been able to do better.

"The Akatsuki?" said Tsunade.

His silence appeared to be answer enough.

Tsunade threw Shizune a meaning glance, shaking her head ruefully. Both remained silent for a moment, having a non-verbal conservation between each other.

"Can you sit up?" said Tsunade after a moment. "I'll have to try to reconnect that arm of yours."

Shizune helped him sit up and Tsunade quickly and swiftly reconnected his arm. Kakashi bit back a groan. He figured that his body should just become immune to the pain when it was exposed to so much, but it didn't seem like it would.

"That _brat_ … He has no shame… the school my grandfather started…" the hazel-eyed woman muttered under her breath. She asked Shizune to leave them alone, and they she turned to him again.

"I carry the responsibility for the students' safety in this school. I _need_ to know what goes on here to be able to do anything about it. Trust me – I know better than to go to the police without thinking it through – especially in situations such as this. What happened?"

Kakashi didn't plan to tell her anything. But for some reason he didn't know, the words flowed out, explaining almost everything to the older woman. He even told her about Rin – well, the short of it anyhow – and how Obito had changed after her death so that he hardly recognized him anymore. How he mistreated him, though he didn't go into any details. Maybe it was the authority in her voice that made him speak, or the gleam in her eyes that promised sufferings bad enough to rival Obito unless he co-operated, or the almost instinctive knowledge that she would understand. Somehow, it felt good to get it off his chest.

"But Miss Senju… I still want to help him," he finished. "He's not a hopeless case – he _can't_ be. Deep at heart… he is truly kind. I want to reach that Obito… and get him back."

"He's lucky to have a friend like you, Kakashi. But it might be dangerous for you to continue coming here. I could fix it so that you study from home if you want to. You should let adults handle this."

"No. I can't… I can't give up yet… And if Obito really wants to get to me, that won't be enough to make him leave me alone. This is something I must face."

Tsunade looked at him like she wanted to say something more, but chose silence instead and gave him a curt nod. A few more questions were asked, but Tsunade seemed to sense his exhaustion and, with the help of Shizune, brought him to her car. The distance between the school building and the parking lot, even with the support of the headmistress and the school nurse, had never seemed longer.

Kakashi slept like a log almost as soon as he got home, but despite Tsunade's warnings, he wrapped his chest and returned to school the following day, abusing painkillers the entire day to be able to move at all. It was only one more day before the weekend, and he had a point to make – he couldn't let Obito think he had managed to break him.

His only explanation to his friends was that he had fallen from a ladder when he changed the bulb on a lamp and accidentally hit a chair on his way down. Gai refused to believe that – of course, he had been there when Obito spoke to him yesterday – and looked unusually grim, but didn't call him out on his lie in front of the others, at least, though they didn't look too persuaded, either. Kakashi carried little doubt Gai wouldn't make sure to confront him about it at a later time.

And they all agreed he should have stayed at home for at least a few days, Genma declaring it especially passionately. "Dude, your _ribs_ are broken!"

He didn't run into Obito at all that day and honestly, it was a relief. Kakashi avoided the subject whenever Gai brought it up, and his friend was understanding enough to let it go every time – though that didn't stop him from bringing it up again and again with an undying insistency. There was only a matter of time before Kakashi would be forced to tell him, he knew, because Gai wouldn't let this go. He just wanted to push it up for as long as possible.

When the weekend came he rested thoroughly. He spent it almost entirely in his bed, melting ice cubes on his ribs to ease the pain and swelling. He was very tired and didn't sleep well – despite the painkillers, every breath he took was painful.

Still he forced himself to school on Monday morning.

At lunch Obito sat down by him, fingers digging menacingly into his thigh. "My place, nine pm."

Kakashi's shoulders sunk. He searched Obito's eyes, for what he didn't know, maybe regret, forgiveness or guilt.

Nothing.

He found nothing but coldness.

Kakashi looked down. "Got it."

When Obito left, he clenched his fist.

* * *

 ***hides behind banana tree***

 **Things have to get worse before they get better, right? *nervous laughter* I know most of you want Kakashi to fight back by now. He's getting there. I might as well add that he's never going to crush Obito's face in the dust, either, so those waiting for that are waiting in vain. Sorry. But it's better to kill any false expectations now so you won't have to feel betrayed at the end.**

 **Again, thanks for all your lovely reviews! Your support really means a lot to me.**

 **What did you think of this chapter, and what do you think will happen in next? Let me know, and I'll be a happy writer. :)**


	23. Chapter 23 - Cut Me Open

**Thank you for all your reviews. You truly are lovely. :3 I apologize for the delay. My old, beloved secondhand computer have been replaced by this new little monster, and I haven't quite gotten used to writing on it yet. I sincerely doubt it will match up to the awesomeness that was my old computer. But it doesn't take +10 minutes to start it, so that's cool. B)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 23 – Cut me Open

* * *

Just before nine pm, Kakashi stood outside Obito's front door. He didn't need to knock. The door opened at the hour exactly, letting him in. After closing the door behind him, Obito took Kakashi's hand and pulled him towards his bedroom.

Kakashi's pulse quickened. He had only been here one time before, but once had been enough to leave memories. He was dragged into the room – reluctantly, but not protesting – and then Obito let go of him and sat down on his bed.

Kakashi looked down to the floor, feeling Obito's eyes wander over him.

It was impossible not to glance at the door opening. It was almost as if it was left open to taunt him – freedom was within sight, but not reach. He shifted stance once, before remembering not to do so. The silence felt unusually loud.

"Take off your clothes," said Obito.

Kakashi stiffened for a second, before he looked up. There was a ghost of a smirk on Obito's face. His eyelids dropped – lazily or seductively, Kakashi wasn't sure. His discomfort seemed to humor him.

Something daring rose up within him – a bold, rebellious fire. He met Obito's eyes almost challengingly and lifted his shirt. Not because he was going to follow orders, but because he _wanted_ to – he wanted Obito to see what he had done to him. He didn't know if that would make any difference, or if it would impact Obito in any way what so ever – but Obito needed to see it.

Through all the time he undressed, dark eyes watched him intently.

Kakashi stared right back.

After discarding his shirt he unwrapped the bandages around his torso. His movements were stiff and slow. Carelessly, he simply dropped his clothes on the spot. Tsunade had told him not to wear any chest bindings, because even if the support made his ribs hurt less, they hindered his lungs from expanding properly when he breathed. Shallow breathing could cause atelectasis and eventually lead to pneumonia. However, it was almost impossible for him to walk around without them, so he had compromised by wearing them whenever he went out but not when he was at home.

Obito's gaze lingered at the exposed bruises, but he showed no signs of remorse. When Kakashi's hands fell to his side, Obito's eyes narrowed.

"Pants too."

"No," said Kakashi.

Obito's eyebrows rose briefly, but for some reason he didn't press the matter. He pulled his own t-skirt over his head. The flexing of his muscles drawing Kakashi's attention against his will.

"Come 'ere," said Obito, cocking his head.

Kakashi walked over to the bed and stopped in front of him. Obito stood up, hands lightly grasping his waist, as he leaned closer and brushed his nose against Kakashi's neck.

"Lay down," he murmured.

"No," said Kakashi.

Obito hissed, seizing his wrist, but Kakashi pulled back and twisted free from his grasp.

" _No_ ," he repeated. The sharp maneuver had caused a twang of pain through his left rib cage, and he clenched his hand over it in support.

Obito snarled, black eyes flicking down towards the arm cradling his chest, and he attacked, fast as lightning. Kakashi's back slammed into the wall, followed by a sharp twinge of pain.

Kakashi gasped. The painkillers he had abused for an occurrence just like this seemed to be of little help now, and he stilled in hope to not evoke a more aggressive reaction from Obito. The last thing he needed was to get injured again – his broken ribs were already a handicap.

Obito snatched into his shoulder and shoved it back to hold him in place.

"I told you to _lay down in bed_."

"I've heard you," said Kakashi. The implication was clear – he once again confirmed he was consciously going against Obito's words. He tried hard not to swallow.

Distantly, Kakashi thought that the lack of any instant punch was probably a good a sign.

Obito's lips curled into a snarl. He leaned closer, breath falling in a harsh whisper against his ear.

"I want to _hurt_ you."

Obito's words shouldn't have heat flowing towards his groin. Kakashi was pretty sure he wasn't a masochist. But when it came to Obito, maybe he was. Why else would he keep trying to get through to him, only to get hurt every single time?

A finger glided down his neck in a feather-light caress.

"I want to kill you."

Obito's voice was so raw, it made Kakashi shudder.

His expressions had once again been masked, but his voice still betrayed his internal feelings, even though it was quickly becoming more controlled, as well.

Kakashi could hear the change. Anger and rage turned into a mocking, almost soft, voice.

Obito brushed his lips against the shell of his ear. "But at the same time, I…" His hand glided down Kakashi's torso before stopping over bruised skin.

The ominous action made Kakashi tense. He tried to shove Obito away. Obito pushed against his healing rib, re-breaking it. The sudden, intense pain made him forget any possible counterattack, and he spasmed, choking back a cry. He instinctively tried to cradle his rib cage again, but Obito's hand moved from his shoulder to his arm in an instant and pinned it back against the wall.

Obito's other hand continued to trail down to his next rib. Kakashi gripped into Obito's wrist, but lacked the strength to pull the hand away from him. Obito's fingertips started adding pressure. Slowly, slowly, they pushed harder. It _hurt_ , he couldn't _breathe_ –

Obito pressed against the bruised skin, and Kakashi bit his lip to stay quiet. He could feel the bone shift under the pressure. Felt the crack, rather than heard it. Fuck, breaking ribs hurt like _hell_ –

The pressure eased, and Kakashi gasped for air, starved for oxygen.

Obito's hand moved to the third rib. Kakashi hissed. Obito held him pinned against the wall, restricted any movement. Once Kakashi ha stopped struggling his fingers moved down skin in a playful, almost leisure manner. Kakashi felt sweat bead at his temples.

When Obito broke the third rib, Kakashi couldn't hold back the scream. It tore from his lips, dry and hoarse, and sounded foreign to his own ears. As if it were someone else making the sound, not him.

Obito's lips twisted upwards.

"Do you… enjoy this?" Kakashi gasped.

Obito stroke his thumb over Kakashi's broken rib, causing him to grit his teeth and arch back in pain.

Obito smirked. "Isn't it obvious?" He pushed forwards. Kakashi gasped as a shot of pain went through his torso. The pain was throbbing, smarting, and Kakashi blinked away tears.

He felt anger and humiliation boil up within.

"What's _wrong_ with you?" said Kakashi. "All this time… I've only wanted to help you!"

It might have been the words, or the unexpected, loud outburst – for some reason, Obito faltered. Kakashi, in a rush of adrenalin, twisted free, shoving Obito away from him– and punched him. He landed a direct hit on the corner of his chin, and Obito stumbled back.

For a moment, there was a shocked silence. Nothing but surprise and possible confusion on Obito's face as he and Kakashi stared at each other, both wide-eyed.

At that moment, Obito looked almost childlike.

Then he threw his head back and laughed.

Kakashi took a step back.

When Obito looked at him again, Kakashi was paralyzed – instantly. The wild grin was disturbing on its own, but the blazing of his eyes, so unrestricted and void of sanity, was beyond anything Kakashi had ever seen. The grin slowly dispersed, but the madness in his eyes remained.

Obito wiped away blood at the corner of his mouth. His lip was already starting to swell. "I might… have underestimated you," he said, with calmness so unnatural it would have made Kakashi's knees tremble had he not been utterly frozen in place. Obito grinned again. "I _really_ want to kill you now."

Forcing himself to regain control over his limbs again, Kakashi took another step back. Then he dashed for the door.

Obito seized his wrist.

"I don't think so."

He was jerked back and shoved into the bed. Kakashi tried to sit up again, but the pain caught up to him, and proved to be too much to overcome. He _couldn't_ get up. Dread settled like ice in the pit of his stomach, and he felt himself break out in cold sweat.

Slowly, as if savoring the moment – or maybe he simply enjoyed the torment shown on Kakashi's face – Obito crawled on top of him.

Kakashi didn't like Obito's shirtless body hovering over his own.

He didn't like the way he watched him.

Most of all, he disliked the weird, funny feeling swirling in his guts.

 _Again_.

"Don't resist," said Obito. The insanity had dispersed somewhat, but the unnatural glow was still there, flicking in his eyes. "Now. Where were we?"

This wasn't good. He couldn't let Obito just kill him. Even with his broken ribs, he should somehow be able to flip their positions, if he could just block out the pain. And then… what?

He would make matters worse, but… he couldn't get in a much worse position that he was now. Besides, if Obito really planned to kill him this time–

Obito's next words put a cog in his brain.

"I _should_ want you to die."

Kakashi's eyes snapped to his.

"But I don't want you to stop breathing," he continued, almost like an afterthought. "I like it when you say my name. I like your pain. I guess… maybe I'd rather keep you alive a little while longer."

Obito sighed. He let his body drop down on Kakashi's. Kakashi pressed his lips together to not cry out again as Obito's weight put pressure over his chest.

Despite the pain, his stomach twisted at the feeling of skin pressing against skin.

"Say my name."

He didn't want to, but he couldn't seem to help himself. "Obito," he murmured.

"Again."

Obito's hand touched him, moved slowly up and down his torso. His hot breath washed over Kakashi's neck, lips brushed over skin. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"O-bito…" His voice was unsteady and his breath came out is short, shallow gasps – a result of the pain and difficulties breathing, but also because Obito… affected him.

"Why are you… doing this…?" said Kakashi.

"You know why." Obito's eyes darkened. "You _killed_ her."

After all this time, it still felt like a stab in his heart when Obito said that.

"She jumped in front of the car to save me, Obito," said Kakashi. "It was her choice. It was no different from when you ran into the fire to save me." The words left his mouth silently. It was the plain fact, what he'd tried to tell himself over and over when the guilt ate him alive.

But he never seemed to be able to believe it, so how could he convince Obito to?

"I should have let you burn."

That hurt, too. Maybe even more so because he had already had the thoughts himself, and to hear Obito say he regretted saving him was like rubbing salt in his wounds.

"This cursed world is useless," Obito spat. "She was only fourteen! It wasn't _fair_ that she died!"

The bitterness in his voice got him of course – it wasn't directed against just him, but rather at the world in general. It almost seemed as if Obito had given up on it entirely. Kakashi wanted to say something but… what could he? The world _wasn't_ fair. It was filled with death and ugly wars, starvation and sufferings. And Rin was just one of many children who never got to grew up.

But at the same time… there were beautiful things in it too. Things worth living for – fighting for.

Why couldn't Obito see that?

"Obito– "

" _Shut up_." Obito's attention snapped back to him, glared at him, as if suddenly remembering that he was the one he was angry at – that it was his fault that Rin was dead.

Obito couldn't blame the world – it wouldn't listen to him – so the second best thing was Kakashi.

For the first time in many years, it felt like Kakashi somehow understood him. He had come to represent what Obito hated – he wasn't _what_ he hatred. And though Kakashi still felt guilt for taking Rin away from him it was a freeing realization.

"Kakashi," Obito hissed. "All you need to remember is that you're mine. You owe me your life. You owe me Rin. You can never repay that. So you're mine. Hear that? _Mine_." Fingers were pulled through his hair, tugged it backwards. "You can never leave me. And you can't die. Not by anyone or anything but me." Obito gripped harder into his hair and pulled until his head arced back. Lips moved over his throat. Kakashi grasped into Obito's shoulders, unsure whether to push him back… or pull him closer. "I'm the only one…. who should bring you pleasure or pain…"

His breathing quickened.

"You don't need anyone else…" Obito whispered. "You didn't need anyone but _me_." Hands moved to his shoulder blades. Obito dragged his nails down his back. Kakashi groaned.

"I don't want you to be with anyone else," said Obito. "If I find out that you have fucked someone else again – I will _kill_ them. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes," said Kakashi. Now, if Obito actually stopped tearing him apart it might be easier to breathe. He could feel the sheets stick to his skin as nails dug deeper, drawing blood.

"Promise you won't."

He couldn't just _agree_ to this obsessive behavior, but–

" _Promise_ ," said Obito, "Or do you need me to mark you _daily_?" The last of his sentence turned into a low growl. For even finding that – and his words – even remotely sexy he was going to hell, surely.

"I promise," said Kakashi.

"Good." Obito breathed out, and his grip eased almost instantly. Slowly, he leaned in to nuzzle Kakashi's neck.

"I missed you…" said Obito. "When you were gone. I _always_ missed you."

Kakashi didn't know what to respond to that. The declaration felt out of place. Obito had missed him? When they didn't see each other last week? During the holidays? Or even all those years they had been separated after Obito moved away from Konoha? Kakashi didn't know exactly what he meant.

Obito was unstable. His mood swings were scary. Before he had always been cold and hateful, or so he had thought, but now… he was a weird, unpredictable mix. He went from angry, to lost, to crazy in a heartbeat.

It wasn't necessary a bad thing, though, because maybe it meant Kakashi got to him, somehow. But Kakashi couldn't predict his actions, which made him all the more dangerous.

Obito's lips brushed against his jawline, his chin… and then against Kakashi's mouth. It was just the faintest touch, much like the last time – but then Obito's fingers run down his torso and over his ribs.

Kakashi gasped, and Obito caught his lips.

The kiss was slow, and very much softer than he had expected from Obito – but it was still much more sensual and possessive than Kakashi could have thought a kiss possibly could be. It made it difficult to think. Obito's mouth was warm, and tasted just briefly of copper – one side of his lower lip was swollen from Kakashi's hit. The swollen flesh was hot and pulsing against his tongue, but it didn't seem to affect his performance the least. Obito was a damn talented kisser.

When Obito pulled away, Kakashi felt dizzy.

The situation hadn't really changed, but at the same time Obito had – somehow – seemed like he was starting to open up to him. He had let Kakashi see more of his thoughts than he had in years and the insane possessiveness spoke of a genuine concern – a fear of losing him too – or at least so he hoped. He had learned more about Obito in this one hour than he had in all previous months since he first came to Amegakure. Maybe this would make all the difference if he managed to get through to him or not. And if that was the case, the broken ribs would be worth it.

Kakashi smiled. It was just the tiniest tug of lips, but it seemed to provoke Obito. He leaned in and kissed him again, more forcefully this time. He gripped Kakashi's wrists and pinned him harder down into the bed. Heat exploded in his abdomen, slipped lower. Kakashi's lips parted, giving Obito entrance into his mouth. His tongue slipped inside. Only when they were breathless for air and Kakashi's lungs on fire did Obito pull away.

"I want you."

The confession – or demand – sent a twinge of arousal through his body and Kakashi sucked in a startled breath. He didn't want to feel like this for Obito – he couldn't understand why he would. He tried to move his hand, but it was only pressed deeper into the mattress.

Kakashi felt his face heat up. He avoided Obito's gaze, twisting his arm restlessly as he tried to worm free from Obito's hold.

"You should go home, let your ribs heal, but…" Obito tightening his grip warningly when one of Kakashi's attempts to get free got a little too insistent. "No. You can't go. You have to stay with me – _do as I say_."

"Obito," Kakashi panted. This wasn't a good idea. He was in trouble. Kakashi knew Obito wouldn't listen to what he said about it, and he wasn't exactly in peak condition to fight right now. Every breath hurt, to even shift felt unbearable. At the moment, he couldn't even sit up himself at all.

The bathtub scene flashed through his mind, and his face flushed red. He had been weak and unable to defend himself that time, but he couldn't let something like that happen again.

Obito put his hand over Kakashi's chest. "Your heart is beating so fast…. are you scared of me, Kakashi?"

"I'm not– I don't… Obito, I– "

Obito only smirked.

"Please," said Kakashi. "Obito." He chanced a glance in his direction. "It hurts."

Obito blinked. He let go of Kakashi's wrists in favor of touching Kakashi's bruises again – but this time, he just grazed against them with his fingertips. His eyes were unreadable.

"Why do you want to help me, Kakashi?"

Kakashi didn't answer.

Obito lay down next to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling Kakashi's back against his chest. Kakashi grunted when Obito shifted his position and his ribs – entire rib cage – protested in pain. Hands rested far too low for comfort and he felt the movement of Obito's chest as he breathed. Kakashi squirmed. The skin-to-skin contact was too much. Obito was too closer, and their position too compromising.

Obito shifted, and his hand drifted an inch lower. His fingers felt burning against his abdomen.

"P-please..."

"Go to sleep," said Obito. "I won't do anything more. For now."

It took a moment for his words to truly sink in. When they finally did, it took another few to start to believe them. Kakashi exhaled, letting out a breath he didn't know he had held.

"But trust me…" Obito whispered from behind him, the arms around his flexing. "I will make you scream… and… not just from pain..."

Obito must have noticed the cold chill of anticipation that ran down his spine, because he pulled him closer, mouth twisting upwards against his skin when he felt Kakashi tremble.

Obito's hand traced up and down Kakashi's chest a few times and he let his fingers follow the edge of his pants forth and back, making Kakashi's heart hammer hard. But he kept true to his words and didn't attempt in undressing him further. While Kakashi didn't exactly relax, he felt the tension and stiffness in his muscles fade away to more reasonable levels.

He never expected being able to fall asleep in Obito's arms, but after a few hours (and after many failed attempts at leaving) his eyes grew tired and heavy and his pulse slowed down.

Despite everything… there was something familiar…

The three of them used to sleep next to each other in a dark-green tent.

 _I miss you._

 **o o o**

"No…"

Kakashi stirred. He didn't know when he had fallen asleep, but it must have happened sometime… the clock was pointing at half past three, now.

The grip around his arm tightened, and the low sound that had woken him was heard again – a pitiful moan, that made Kakashi's heart clench.

" _No_ …"

"Obito?" he asked quietly, turning around with some difficulty – first he needed to pry Obito's fingers from his arm, then his rib cage smarted with pain. He shook his shoulders, gently.

"P-please…"

"Obito." He shook a little harder. "Wake up." His eyes were adjusting to the darkness, and he saw that Obito's hair was damp with sweat, and he was stirring restlessly on the bed. His panting was shallow and restricted – and he grasped Kakashi's arm again, desperately, as if it were a lifeline.

"Please… no."

Kakashi felt a pang of sympathy – he didn't know Obito had nightmares about it, too.

"Wake up, Obito!"

"Someone. _Get me out of here_."

"Obito…"

He seemed to be in some sort of trance, and nothing short of a bucket of cold water seemed to be able to get life in him. Or maybe a slap. But Kakashi wasn't sure he wanted to face the consequences of waking Obito up like that when he was in such a state. He pulled a hand through his hair – to just let him continue the nightmare seemed like such a cruel thing to do.

"Wake up!"

Obito merely stirred. "…. _hurts_ ," he mumbled.

Kakashi brushed damp hair away from his face. "Please wake up, Obito."

Obito hiccupped.

Damn it all. Kakashi pulled him into his arms. "It's okay, Obito. I'm here. It's not real."

"Stop it... Madara ––– help."

 _Madara?_

If memory saved him right he was the older relative Obito had stayed with when he first moved to Amegakure. His great-grandfather, or something. But why would Obito cry for him? Kakashi had little to no memories of that man. All he could recall was a surprisingly agile body for such an old age, and a stubborn mind. He was mostly pleasant _not_ to be around. But if Obito needed him…?

" _Please_."

No. He had of contacting him, so that wasn't a possibility. And he doubted Madara could possibly have been _that_ a good guardian, anyway. He had always seemed kind of selfish, to be honest.

So Kakashi just hugged him tighter. "I'm here," he whispered. "Everything's okay."

"'kashi?"

Kakashi swallowed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. Maybe he would only make Obito's nightmare worse. But there was no going back now.

"I'm here."

"'ay."

Kakashi couldn't quite catch the last part – was it an 'okay' or a 'stay'? – but either way, it didn't matter. What mattered what how the tension left Obito's body, how his muscles relaxed, and the grip on his arm eased. Obito sighed, and his breathing slowed down.

"Idiot," Kakashi murmured.

He glanced at the clock again. He could stay, another hour or so, before he had to get back.

* * *

 **Tell me what you thought of the chapter, and hope to see you soon again!**


	24. Chapter 24 - Perfect Disguise

**o o o**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 24 - Perfect Disguise

* * *

When Kakashi woke up to realize that his and Obito's limbs were entangled and their faces in very close proximity, he let out an unmanly yelp. Thankfully it didn't wake Obito and Kakashi untangled himself. As stealthy as a ninja, he picked up his clothes and sneaked out of the room.

After giving himself some time to sigh in relief (and then hiss in pain over doing so) he somehow managed to get dressed, swallow some painkillers, stumble out and call Gai.

"Hello my rival!" exclaimed Gai loudly, as he answered. Kakashi winced and pulled the phone away from his ear, glancing at the time. It was just before six, but then, Gai was known for being up at sunrise. "Have your ribs healed enough to do some light, youthful training?"

Yeah, right. Because ribs totally healed in five days. Kakashi couldn't help but to smile at his friend's enthusiasm. It was sort of nice that Gai already missed training with him.

"About that…" said Kakashi. "Could you pick me up and drive to the hospital? I'm outside the apartments of Angel Street."

Kakashi hated to admit it, but Gai had a car and he did not. Gai barely used it though, preferring to walk, run, ride a bike or simply travel in a way that included using his muscles rather than fuel.

"Anything for my one and only rival! I will be there in record-time–"

"Gai. Don't. It's not a competition."

"Oh, I see. Alright. Wait, to the hospital? Did something happen?" Kakashi could hear Gai starting the car.

"I'll talk when you get here."

Ugh. He didn't want to talk at all. Breathing hurt. Standing hurt.

Everything hurt.

But Gai deserved an explanation.

"That's right! You should never talk with someone who's driving! Thank you for reminding me, my hippest rival! I'll be right there." Before Kakashi had time to say his thanks or goodbyes, Gai hung up.

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. Gai could really be a nut skull and a weirdo, but he was truly a good friend and good person, if you could just see behind appearances. That part could be difficult if you didn't know him. It had taken quite a while from Gai to win Kakashi's friendship… Looking back, Kakashi wished he hadn't been such a jerk.

Now, he could only hope that Gai would find this hellhole where Obito lived. Angel Street was really a far too beautiful name for a place inhabited by the devil. Of course he didn't seriously think that Obito was the devil, just…

It was morning. He hated mornings. And his ribs hurt, and that was Obito's fault.

The clock was only little over six when Gai drove in next to Obito's apartment. Kakashi had a sinking feeling that Gai had speeded despite the warning.

Gai helped him to the car; Instead of being interrogated the moment he set foot within the car the two got into a discussion about whether or not the color green was the most youthful – the question being was the first thing Gai opened his mouth to ask. Used to Gai's oddity by now – and realizing very well that Gai might be trying to distract him – Kakashi answered in kind and agreed it might be the most 'youthful' color, as it was the color of nature and all growing things. However, when Gai tried to force some of his hundreds of green spandex jumpsuits on Kakashi he had to protest.

Finally, after some persuasion, Gai accepted that everyone had different tastes. When he still wanted to buy a matching shirt for Kakashi's next birthday, things got a little trickier. After some negotiation, a tired Kakashi agreed to wear matching green shirts, but only if they were dark green ones.

Gai's smile was so bright it blinded one driver and his car hit a stop sign. Kakashi flinched.

Shortly after reaching an understanding on the matter on matching shirts, Gai pulled into the hospital, and offered to carry Kakashi inside. After refusing flatly, he walked in himself… practically hanging on Gai's shoulder the way a summer dress may flutter uselessly on a clothes hanger.

The hospital was calm and quiet this early in the morning. After speaking briefly with the receptionist, Kakashi was taken almost immediately to a room where he was introduced to a doctor and her trainee. After firing some rapid questions at him – while examining his ribcage carefully – he was taken to yet another room for an X-ray. He hadn't bothered with one last time, as he trusted Tsunade on her words, but felt that he'd better check now.

The young trainee was going on about how a misplaced fracture or a bone shard could puncture his lungs – which he was aware of himself, or he wouldn't have showed up – as he was asked by the older woman to lay down on a table, shooting a look both fond and exasperated at the trainee.

Kakashi started to feel a bit queasy when the trainee explained some of the complications a punctured lung could cause – as if 'punctured lung' alone wasn't enough for him to realize it was a bad thing. Gai's eyebrows were furrowed.

The doctor led the others out of the room, finally hushing the trainee.

The injury – to all the relief of all of them, with exception of perhaps the trainee – wasn't severe. The doctor manually shifted one of the broken bone that had been slightly out of place (which hurt a lot, but been done quickly) but other than that, Kakashi was once again to leave them to heal by themselves.

Gai drove him home and they watched football on TV. Kakashi was interested in the game, but Gai's happy outbursts and sudden jumps distracted him. If they had been watching it at the arena, Kakashi doubted he would have been able to keep Gai from leaping out from the bleachers and join the game. The thought made him chuckle, because it wasn't entirely impossible for Gai to do something like that. However, chuckling as it turned out, was very painful so he quickly stopped.

Gai couldn't sit still for long and after the game, he was ready to pull Kakashi out with him for a few miles long sprint, and Kakashi patiently told him that he probably shouldn't exercise just yet.

Reminded of why he was there in the first place – or perhaps that had been an intentional way of breaching the conservation, as one could never tell for sure with Gai – Kakashi was asked about what exactly had had happened.

Kakashi sighed. Though he was thankful that Gai had given him some time before he brought it up, he knew there was no way he could push this up any further. He'd either fess up to what had happened, or Gai would nag about it until he spilled. Either way, he was going to find out the truth. Not telling him wasn't even an option.

Gai had been patient from the beginning, knowing the sensitivity of the matter, but now that Kakashi had been hurt again he was hardly going to let Kakashi choose to stay quiet any longer – or feed him any bullshit lies. That wasn't who his friend was.

"Obito happened," Kakashi said, giving in. It would be the less painful way to go about it, either way. He felt tired, and the words sounded heavy.

"I see," said Gai. He didn't sound surprised. "He broke them again then?"

"Yeah."

Gai's eyebrows furrowed. "I really want to–"

Kakashi felt a new spurt of energy flaming up. "Stay out of it," Kakashi said, cutting him off.

Seeing Gai's not too happy expression, he signed – again. It seemed he'd have to do more persuading this time… and even then, he could only hope Gai would understand. There was no way he would agree with Kakashi's decision – that was for sure.

"I think I might be getting through to him," he said, slowly. "We talked about Rin. Well, he mostly accused me of being guilty for her death, but it's a start… he has refused to talk about the accident for almost five years now. I know you want to help, but if you meddle… it won't help anyone."

"I understand that this is something you feel you need to do, Kakashi," said Gai. "But tell me this. What will happen if it doesn't work the way you plan? What if he doesn't change?"

"He will."

"And if he doesn't?"

Kakashi glared out the window and crossed his arms.

This time, Gai was the one who sighed. He sounded nearly as tired as Kakashi. "Do you expect me to do nothing?" he said, frustration breaking through in his voice. "Kakashi. You are my friend too, and there are many people who hold you dear."

Kakashi snorted, but he understood where Gai were coming from. If Gai was the one threatened, Kakashi would be furious over not being told he was not allowed to do anything. But it didn't change matters. "That's what I want you to do," he said, petulantly.

"Kakashi–"

"It's fine. I've got it under control."

"'Under control'!?" Gai exploded. "He broke three of your ribs, gave you a concussion and disconnected your arm!"

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. He was pretty sure he hadn't informed Gai of all the details, so how did he know? Was he honestly so easy to read, or had Gai managed to get hold of Shisune's notes?

"He says he's going to kill you and you can't even fight back because of your emotional state– "

At this, Kakashi couldn't stay silent. "I can and I will. I promise. Next time he tries to hurt me, I'll fight back."

"And when that happens, you'll need me by your side."

"No. This is something I have to do alone."

Gai clenched his fists. "What about your mental health?" he grit out. "Are you just going to keep following his every order, hoping you won't accidentally anger him? He fucks with your mind, Kakashi. Next time he pushes you up the wall, are you just going to let him have his way with you?"

Kakashi winced at his words, because they weren't that far away from where Kakashi's mind hand been the other night… or when Obito had threatened Tenzo and Gai, either. But could it really be true?

"Say it."

"You don't need anyone else."

"Mine."

Kakashi shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "You think he's trying to manipulating me?"

"Everyone can see it. You're usually not this blind."*25

"Off course I know he's toying with me… But I… Do you really think he's doing it consciously?"

"I have no idea. It doesn't matter. He's abusive and controlling, and he can't seem to make up his mind about you. It's like he want to rip your throat out but he can't make himself break your skin."

"I can assure he'd broken my skin." Just the thought made his muscles clench as they remembered the sharp pain over his shoulder from when Obito bit him.

"I know that," said Gai quickly. "I know he's hurt you. And I'm not diminishing it. It's just… he could have done worse. Something seems to be holding him back. It was a metaphor."

"A bad one."

"Fine. He want to eat his cake but keep it. Does that sound better?"

"No. That's such an overused expression. I'm no cake. And I don't like to be compared to one. Besides… it just sounds so wrong."

Gai and Kakashi stared impassively at each other.

"I think," Gai said, after a beat of silence, "that that's only because you have perverted mind."

Kakashi huffed as he looked away, muttering a half-hearted denial.

"Aright, we'll continue this discussion some other day and order our youthful, green, friendship-shirts!"

"Dark moss-green," said Kakashi, grateful for the change of topic.

"Yes!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I thought it would be my birthday gift?"

"I've changed my mind! That's far too long in the future – we need to live in the present! I think you need some new garments to cheer you up... and remind you of your friends." The last part was added a bit thoughtfully. "Can I use your computer?"

"Sure."

After Gai had fetched the laptop, Kakashi logged in and shoved it back towards Gai. Then he lay back in the sofa and closed his eyes as he listened to Gai typing. He felt tired and considered to take a nap.

"Gai?"

"Yes, my rival?"

"If it sticks to me like a second skin I won't wear it."

"But Kakashi! You wouldn't believe how easy it is to move in– "

"I will not wear it."

"Gym class?" quired Gai.

"No," said Kakashi.

Gai pouted. "I see. Well, if that is how it is, I will have to order baggy clothes."

"Thank God," Kakashi murmured before he fell asleep.

 **o o o**

Three weeks passed in which nothing really happened.

Kakashi had to rest to let his ribs heal, and while he had forced himself to school immediately the first time, abusing painkillers and chest-bindings to be able to do so, he made use of his sick-leave this time so that Obito wouldn't crack them open right again.

The doctor had warned him about permanent tissue damage unless he let them heal thoroughly – it occasional occurred in repeated breaks, the chatty trainee informed him – and he really wanted to avoid that. The trainee's colorful descriptions about the complications that would cause had left a big enough impression to keep him in bed. While he knew that broken ribs were painful, he hadn't quite realized that it could be so severe before.

Those weeks were some of the most boring ones in his life, and at the end of them he had even started to tire of Icha Icha… which said a lot. Gai and Tenzo visited him every now and then – Gai almost daily – and Asuma and Genma once as well, but they all had university studies to keep up with and Kakashi had to study from his bed to not be left behind.

At the end of February, the clothes which Gai had ordered were delivered to Kakashi's door. Gai was at the university when they came, and Kakashi was bored, so he opened them on his own to kill some time.

Kakashi just barely managed to hold back the urge to sack Gai's gift immediately.

Taking a slow breath, he peered back into the box.

His left eyebrow twitched. Then, for good measure, it twitched again. Kakashi figured that one of them – either him or Gai – had to be colorblind, because he would definitely not define this… this hideous color as 'dark green'. It was almost closer to bright slime green, actually. The kind of green that algae found in ponds or large ditches had. Not entirely unlike the color of snot. The closest resemblance, however, could be found with the color of Gai's spinach smoothies. And in the front, screaming bright-orange letters said YOUTH. And there was not one, or two of them. There was five.

Kakashi thought he would go blind.

When Gai arrived he was joyous and he called their other friends over. Apparently he had gotten a bit carried away and deiced that everyone should have a friendship shirt. He also swore they had not been that color when he ordered them. They were hoodies more than anything shirt-like.

There was no way Kakashi was wearing that.

When Asuma, Tenzo and Gemma came, they all said the same thing; "No way."

Yet on Monday morning everyone was wearing their friendship-'shirt'. Why? Well, Gai wouldn't shut up about it, and he had had all weekend to nag about it. Also, he had promised not to pull the others out on a preschool run early in the morning for a whole month. Normally, Gai just bothered Kakashi, but with Kakashi's ribs still healing, he had been urging the others to join him and apparently they couldn't take Gai's level of training as well as Kakashi could. Not even three times a week.

Lazybones, all of them.

As for the reason why Kakashi was wearing his hideous hoodie, well. Gai had bribed him with a full collection of the Icha Icha series. Kakashi already had one, but he figured that he really could use an extra set of books in case he forgot one of them in his lockers again. As much as being ill had dulled his passion for Icha Icha, they were still Icha Icha, and they would always be the love of his life.

So in the end, every single one of them wore their youth-sweater.

And by the end of the week, Kakashi decided that he really liked it. Why? Well, the answer was simple. First, the sweater was very baggy, just like Kakashi had asked. However, when he said baggy, he didn't mean that it should be in a twice-his-size-almost-like-a-tent sort of baggy. Back to the topic – it was baggy. It had a hood. It was bright green and orange. Under the hood his trademark silver hair was completely hidden – this sweater seemed to be the perfect disguise.

Nobody expected Kakashi to wear something like that.

Obito just couldn't find him.

He had seen him looking for him several times. At least he thought Obito did. His gaze swept over the corridors and moved right over Kakashi, even when he only stood a few yards away from him.

If he had known about the side-effects to this, he would have asked Gai to buy him clothes so much sooner.

In the beginning Obito only looked for him absentmindedly, probably expecting him to still be at home healing, but as the days passed, he spent a little longer time every day searching for him. Maybe he was getting bored and thought it was time for Kakashi-torture again. However, Kakashi's sweater stood its ground, not even once giving him away by revealing his presence.

It was first in the end of the second week in Mars that his effective disguise method started failing. He realized Obito must have been catching on when a scarred Tenzo came running and threw his arms around him, sobbing about how Obito had corned him and lifted his hood away, and how very, very scary Obito had been and how very, very frightened he had been.

Kakashi awkwardly patted his head as he tried to comfort his traumatized classmate, hoping the kid hadn't been sexually assaulted by Obito as well.

All the same, Tenzo's story made the five friends laugh. Even though Kakashi didn't want his friends to get involved he agreed to Gai's suggestion to keep wearing their sweaters. Everyone nodded solemnly at his proposal, and pulled their hoods up over their heads. With that, Kakashi's disguise became even more effective, because before he had been the only one (expect for Tenzo) who actually used the hood. Now five people walked around, looking almost like clones.

The day after the next, Azuma was cornered. After seeing his face, Obito had gritted his teeth and turned around. When Gai was the third one Obito pulled the hood off, he seemed to be starting to lose his temper, because he hit his fist hard into the wall just beside Gai's head. The next week, Obito was literally guarding Kakashi's locker. This time is was Genma who suggested something.

"Hey, how do you guys feel about switching lockers?"

And they did. Genma offered to take Kakashi's and was therefore pushed into a wall by one furious Obito. He got a bruise on his shoulder, but from his amused face when he told them about it, the corners of his mouth twitching and eyes dancing with humor, it had been well worth it. Kakashi started thinking that maybe he shouldn't have been so hesitant to let his friends help him.

This was… kind of fun.

God have mercy on him when Obito finally managed to find him, though.

Gai took Gemma's old locker, Tenzo Gai's and Kakashi Tenzo's. Every other day or so they switched. In the end of the week, they had almost forgotten what locker the originally used to have.

After that weekend, things started getting really interesting. It happened when Kakashi put his hands on two green-clothed shoulders to greet his friends. When the two turned around, Kakashi came face to face with Izumo and Kotetsu, two school peers he was briefly acquitted with.

Kakashi's face changed from shock to surprise and then, a smile.

"Apparently it's all in the rage," said Kotetsu, grinning. Their sweaters were copies to the ones Kakashi and his friends wore in the same horrid shade and hoods large enough to disappear into, complete with the word YOUTH spelled out in orange letters at the front.

As the days passed, more and more started wearing a hideous green, oversized sweater, their faces hidden in shadows. Rumors had it that somebody had ordered a box of them and gave them out for free. Obito was absent from school a few days, but when he came to school one day and walked into a sea of green-clothed students with orange prints he almost snapped. Genma had to turn around and hold his hands over his mouth to stop from laughing – and he wasn't the only one.

Kakashi knew it wouldn't last forever, but for now he was having a blast. It was getting harder and harder to keep track of his friends. Everyone floated together in a sea of green.

After a few days Obito got his gang members to look through the students, searching for grey hair. The following day Kurenai approached him, giving him something.

"Use this," she told him, before she walked away.

It was a short-haired wig. After a lot of fuzz, his friends, with combined forces, managed to seal away Kakashi's gravity defying hair into the hair cap before they put the brown wig on him.

When his friends backed away to look at him, they grinned widely. Without saying anything, they pointed at the mirror. Kakashi felt his one smile split his face in two.

Deidara flicked away his hood, barely threw him a glace and moved on.

Sasori flapped at his hood, and continued moving.

Kakuzu didn't blink.

Hidan swore.

Obito pushed his hood away, and then used his hand to push him out of the way, too.

Everyone was searching for him by his most defining trait – his grey hair.

With every passing day, the number of students wearing the YOUTH-sweaters increased. As the hoodies reached almost mid-thigh or longer on most of the student body, they all looked a bit like snot-green ghosts moving through the corridors. Had it been any other color, it might have looked eerie. To simply disappear among everyone else was easier than ever.

Kakashi adopted a few new habits to strengthen this effect. While he usually avoided people, he now hid among the crowd. He often passed by relatively close to the Akatsuki in the corridors, as they barely spared a glance at the people the closest to them. It gave Kakashi an opportunity to watch Obito's irritation grow.

It was starting to concern him.

When they started this, it had just been one fun game that Kakashi hoped would throw Obito off for a few days. Now, over a month had passed. How long would they be able to keep it up?

Kakashi was really happy Obito didn't know where he lived. He would no doubt be furious when he finally did find him. At the same time, Kakashi had a feeling Obito's feathers really was in a deep need of being ruffled. It probably injured his pride, yes, but somehow it felt this could actually be an effective method to break his habits. If just stopped taking things so seriously he might realize how absurd all of this was.

Kakashi's ribs hurt less every day, and the snow melted away as the days grew warmer. The 'sinkhole' looked more like a lake than a part of town, now.

In April he started to do some light training with Gai. He had to skip a judo, because he hadn't healed enough yet to handle get slammed into the floor by the throws, but he could do lighter strength and endurance training, as well as go jogging with Gai in the mornings again.

He was going home for Easter in only a few days, and Obito didn't seem likely to find him before then. It would be a relief to get home. Only a few days left… and then he wouldn't have to worry about Obito for the rest of the month.

That Friday, Kakashi and he and his friends ran laughing out from the University grounds. With Gai as your best friend, it was simply impossible to 'grow up' entirely. It didn't really bother Kakashi. It was wonderful to run again without that pressure clutching at his chest and making it difficult to breathe.

It was an exhilarating feeling to have gotten one over Obito, for once. To break the pattern, to be free.

Sometimes, it was wonderful just to be alive.

Consequences be damned.

* * *

 **I'm sorry for the looong delay. I've had some family troubles that have kept me from writing. However, I'll try to pick myself up and finish this story as soon as possible. You all are wonderful for the support you've given me. Thanks for the lovely reviews!**


	25. Chapter 25 - Cold Blood

**Sorry for the long hiatus, guys; and thanks for the unceasing support. I won't make any excuses for myself this time – not because I don't have any, but because I _could_ have updated earlier.**

 **THANK YOU for all the encouraging comments. You are all wonderful and I don't deserve you.**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 25 – Cold Blood

* * *

It was dark outside when Kakashi left the library. The moon was full, but no stars could be seen on the sky. The streets were silent and empty. It was a lonely night.

Kakashi didn't see a soul as he walked down the dark ally. At daytime this was considered a 'safe' part of the city. Now he wasn't so sure. It was almost _too_ quiet. No nightlife at all. Only the moon, the cold streets and the wind blowing over the roof tops.

The snow had melted, the days turned warmer, but it was still chilly after sundown. Kakashi didn't mind. It felt refreshing to walk in the cold night air and the silence was welcome after a whole day surrounded by people. It was nice to breathe and walk again without pain or discomfort.

There was barely a sound of warning. An arm shot out from the shadows and seized him, pulled him back into a dark corner and a firm chest. A hand covered his mouth. He could feel a hot breath against his neck, a ragged, restricted panting, as if the person he just been running.

Kakashi cursed himself for not paying more attention to his surroundings. It should have been impossible to miss the footsteps, but thinking about his healed ribs his mind had started to stray towards Obito, and now…

Now he was right here.

A familiar, dangerous scent engulfed him and Kakashi suddenly struggled to breathe.

 _He's found me._

Kakashi felt a surge of panic, and he jerked to get free – but was held closer, fingers gripping bruises into his arms. If he'd only worn the stupid hood–

"Be still," Obito hissed. There was an unexpected urgency in his voice that made Kakashi freeze despite the adrenaline coursing through him. His heart beat hard. A few seconds passed.

A figure ran past them on the same path Kakashi had been taken, but he did not notice them, drowned in darkness as they were. He disappeared from sight. The feet clattering against asphalt slowly grew more distant – and then a gun went off. Kakashi flinched.

There were no more sounds of feet running.

 _That should have been me._

He'd had no idea of the danger lurking in the deceitfully peaceful ally, no warning at all of what lay ahead. No idea that the unusual silence meant he was in the eye of the storm. Had Obito not stopped him that _would_ have been him.

Slowly, he pressed back against Obito's body. He was only barely covered by the shadows, and the darkness didn't feel nearly as impenetrable as it had a few seconds earlier. A flash of light could easily expose them, and his hair was nearly _white_ for fuck's sake.

Obito dropped his hand from Kakashi's face, pulling up a small pistol from his jumper. Without a word, he began to sidle soundlessly along the wall. Kakashi followed his example, and together they began to make their retreat. It felt tortuously slow. Kakashi wanted to run. Instinct told him to flee, but reason made him follow Obito, staying within the dark protecting them from sight.

When they had moved thirty feet or so Obito turned to walk ahead. They moved faster now. They walked first, then jogged quietly. Sometimes, Obito froze. Then they moved again. Walked – at times sneaked. They ran some parts, shoes sounding awfully loud, almost echoing, in the quiet stillness of the night. Kakashi felt like his breath alone could be heard in a hundred yard radius.

The ground was sloping downwards, the buildings getting shaggier. Some of lights were broken here, and the shadows grew longer. Darker. They were heading to the Sinkhole.

Soon water glittered in front of them, the surface reflecting the moonlight. Obito expertly avoided the flooded areas. Mud splattered under their feet.

At times they saw figures running along the buildings. Heard another gunshot. Kakashi's heart was thudding hard in his chest. He and Obito were running more often than not now, yet it felt as if he had never moved slower. Their jogging and running seemed to go on for an eternity.

It was only when the ground started to tilt uphill that Kakashi realized they had moved through the slum and were getting out on the other side of it, on the outskirts south-east of the city. They had covered a much longer distance than he had thought. The buildings were slowly getting scarcer, and it was becoming harder to hide, but it had now been long since they last saw anyone else. Kakashi could make out the horizon ahead of them, but it would be unwise to make for the open fields beyond.

They entered an area restricted by a fence topped by barbered wire and Obito led them to a place where the ground lowered enough to leave a space to crawl under. Kakashi went first. The ground was wet, soft and slippery. His hands sunk into cold mud, and the denim at knees became wet.

The sound of the guns was heard again, more often now, if further away. No doubt police would arrive any moment, but the fight seemed to be spread out over such a large area, with the subjects in constant motion, that Kakashi couldn't help but wonder how long it would take to get control over the situation. He wondered what part Obito had in this.

It had been quiet for a while, but now yet another gunshot was heard – and this one close up. Obito hurried him.

Obito led them into an abandoned building – an old factory or mill of some sort. They had to risk the moonlight for a moment to get in, but Obito looked like a flickering shadow, barely visible the short time it took him to get inside. Kakashi felt like a patch of light in comparison.

Obito lead him further into the building, which grew darker as they got deeper. The air was dusty and made his nose scratch. They continued until they reached a place that seemed to meet Obito's requirements. Obito let go of Kakashi, and even though he was standing just in front of him, it was so dark Kakashi could only barely make out a vague outline of his body.

"Stay here until it calms down," said Obito quietly. "Do not draw attention to yourself. Stay in the shadows. If someone enters, play dead."

Kakashi was about to murmur a reply when they heard something and froze. At that moment his eyes caught a flicker of movement. Through a door opening diagonally across from where he stood, silhouettes were moving on the wall of the other room. Then they heard the voices.

"You sure?"

"I saw _someone_ go in here." A beat of silence. Then, the same voice, "I think it was him."

A third person spoke. "Search the place."

There were sounds of footsteps. The click of a pistol being loaded. The footsteps came closer. Obito swore under his breath. He murmured to follow him – they would have to try to get out again.

They had barely time to leave the room before their pursuers entered it.

Then everything happened very suddenly.

There was a rush of feet, a shout, and Obito shoved him roughly to the floor – and into the dark shadow of some machinery. He scraped his elbows and knees, and a low groan escaped his lips as his rib cage made impact with the hard concrete. He looked up just in time to see Obito spin around and shoot the firearm out of someone's hand.

The man attacked with an enraged snarl, and the trigger went off a second time. Kakashi saw, as if in slow-motion, the man fall over and hit the floor. A dark puddle grew under him.

There was a conservation going on around him, between Obito and their attackers. No words registered in his mind. Kakashi stood frozen, hearing only the loud beat of his own heart.

By the time Kakashi was able to tear his eyes of the man, he was already dead, and Obito was fighting the two others. Somehow, he had been disarmed, and both guns had been dropped to the ground – one close to where Kakashi lay. The fight was fierce, actions made in the speed of lightning. Obito tried to prevent his opponents from reaching either of the guns scattered on the floor, and they in their turn kept him too busy from doing it himself.

These were fighters on a whole other level that those from Zabuza's gang had been. They kept up with Obito perfectly. They were ruthless, furious, and gave their opponent no chance to recover from one hit before they landed the next. Their aim was to exterminate, nothing less.

Between their sure movements and perfect teamwork, they looked to be more than experienced street fighters. They almost looked like… professionals.

Obito staggered, and in a sudden flash of realization, Kakashi realized that perhaps they did more than keep up with him. Maybe, this time, it was Obito that was overpowered.

A mental, nightmarish image blinked in front of his eyes. Obito, captured. One holding him. The other picking up the gun. Pointing it. Pulling the trigger. Once, twice. A dark patch growing over his jumper…

Kakashi blinked, and came back to present. The first thing he saw was the dropped gun. It was not a foot away from him. He could reach it so easily.

Would he really kill for Obito? If forced to make the choice between Obito's lives and theirs, could he take a human life? Two?

The insight came like a shock.

He had never even considered killing before. The idea hadn't even entered his mind. Yet his hand stretched out from the shadows, reaching for the gun in the faint moonlight. He grasped it. It felt cool.

He didn't know if he was morally justified to kill in this occurrence. Surprisingly, he found he didn't care. He wasn't going to lose Obito. That was all there was to it – nothing more and nothing less.

He stood up, silently. With all the commotion, no one noticed the movement in the shadows. His legs were shaking. He lifted his gun. The trembling stopped. His hands became steady, heart breathing a sure, steady rhythm. He felt calm. He took aim. And then he waited.

Obito was forced back a step. His attackers followed, and Kakashi followed them, staying in the shadows. Watching intently. For a moment, it looked like Obito had lost his balance. He regained it. He'd come alive, fighting – and it was brutal, but oddly… beautiful.

Suddenly all three of them stopped, as if a wordless hold-fire had been agreed on. They were still tense, though – ready for attack and counter-attack at less than a moment's notice.

"Give it up, Obito," said one of them, spitting out Obito's name as if it was a foul word. They slowly circled around him. Obito kept a careful watch on both, refusing to let either of them out of sight. "You know you can't take on more than one of us at the same time."

Obito bared his teeth. "If you're so confident, why not just get it over with?"

"There's no reason for you to die," said the other, a low warning.

"I'd say the same to you." Obito threw a sardonic look at the corpse.

A scowl. "Jiribo always was a fool. He never learned to be cautious. But that's not true for you, is it, Obito? A little careless, perhaps – and daring. But you're not stupid. I ask again: _Where is he_?"

Obito laughed mockingly. "What are you expecting? For me to whip him out of my pants? Do you think I have him on me?"

"Get out of our way."

"No," said Obito. His voice lowered, took on the tone of voice he used when giving orders to the Akatsuki. It became darker, colder. " _You_ get out of my way."

For a moment, it looked like it was going to work. The first man took a step backwards, almost instinctively. A beat of silence, however, revealed the other wasn't about to back down.

" _I_ 'm not the only one who will be upset if it's not I that complete this task," said Obito, voice a low threat. "You were never meant to succeed – you're only a message." Obito gave them a slow, demeaning smile. " _Someone_ 's become impatient, and wants me to hurry up."

The first man stepped forward again. "You don't know our orders!" he bristled, insulted.

" _Back off_ ," growled Obito.

At his words, both men took a step back, tensing.

Kakashi was so concentrated on what was in front of him that he almost missed the movement in the corner of his eye. Almost. Another form had sneaked in through the second door without notice, and hunched in the corner, not far away from Kakashi. Ready to pounce. She watched Obito with a predatory look, her gaze flicking, analyzing the situation. Obito had his back to her, entirely focused on the other two. He didn't know he was baring his neck for another.

"You've become distracted," the second man sneered at Obito. "The plans have changed."

A knife flashed, and the woman leaped.

The calm, collected trance Kakashi was under shattered.

He didn't think. Perhaps an unconscious part of him remembered that he had never used a gun before, and that risking Obito's life hoping he could get it right on the first try just wasn't worth it. Perhaps he realized that somehow, despite it all, Obito must have trusted Kakashi to watch his back.

But he didn't think. He couldn't.

At that moment, he just moved. He didn't _care_ if Obito had killed a man mere minutes before without batting an eyelash. He didn't _care_ about how Obito had abused him and many others.

He just _needed_ to protect him.

No matter the cost.

The gun cluttered to the floor as Kakashi jumped out in front of Obito. The knife slashed through his face just before his own fist hit its target, hard enough to make his opponent double over.

There should have been pain, but in the moment, he just couldn't feel it. Blood filled his eye, blinded it, but he could still see with his right one so he kept going. The woman staggered back, but another took her place. Kakashi didn't think. He snatched the man's jacket, lifted him, and slammed him into the ground with a force – a brutality – he had never used before.

A vicious throb of pain pulsated though his eye, and he faltered. A rough shove from behind made him lose his already unsettled balance, and he fell. He didn't have time to catch himself. He hit the floor. Pain exploded through his head. Someone snarled. All went black

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

Kakashi woke to ragged breathing.

He didn't know how long he had been out. His head hurt. The pain in his eye came to him slowly, first only stinging and then, with a smart, it hit him full force; worse than ever before. Despite the pain, he was desperate to open it, desperate to know if he could still see. But it was glued shut by coagulated blood. Tentatively, he brushed his fingertips over the lid, and hissed. Not a good idea.

He was lucky he had gotten away with his life. But. The brief graze of his fingers earlier told him the eyeball seemed to have kept its shape, at least. Perhaps there was still hope.

"Had a nice nap?"

Kakashi turned towards the hoarse voice – his head throbbing with the movement – and focused on Obito sitting slumped by the wall. He looked ragged, and tired. He had a streak of dirt across his face, the splatter of another's blood on his cheek. He looked unusually pale, chest heaving.

Then Kakashi noticed the dark patch on Obito's jumper. A hand of ice squeezed his heart. Kakashi sat up, ignoring the wave of nausea that followed the movement. His left eye-socket stung in discontent.

Obito smirked briefly at Kakashi's pained expression, but quickly turned sober. The display helped Kakashi calm down. If Obito was well enough to take joy in Kakashi's suffering he was probably not mortally injured. If he had been he would have bled out by now – or done something about it.

Still.

"You're hurt."

Police cars were crying from all around the city, but none had yet to show up here. His eye flicked to the motionless bodies on the floor. He gulped, and fought another wave of lightheadedness. He was not sure he was willing to check if Obito had killed the other three or just knocked them unconscious. His gaze drifted back to Obito, leaning heavily against the wall, his breathing notably restricted.

"I'm fine," said Obito, though the patch bellow his shoulder was growing by the minute. Kakashi felt his lungs close up. The worry returned like a sledgehammer. What did he know about medicine?

"But–"

"It's not a bullet wound," said Obito, pacifying some of his fear, and allowing him to breathe again. For a while, he feared he'd have to watch Obito die like he did the other man. "Just a scratch."

"Scratch?"

"Knife. I've had worse."

"You should still do something about it."

"It can bleed until it stops."

Kakashi let out an annoyed growl. He stood up. He felt dizzy, and the ground seemed to sway, but he found himself able to walk as long as he focused. On his way to Obito he snatched up a knife from the floor – he would need it. He would have to remove Obito's jumper to get access to the cut, and moving the shoulder before they knew the extent of his injuries didn't seem like a good idea.

Kakashi dropped down on his knees next to Obito and grasped the textile at the collar of his jumper. He lifted the knife. Obito caught his hand – and eye – with a grip of iron.

There was a beat of a tense, stained silence.

Kakashi let out a humorless laugh. "Obito, I'm just trying to get rid of your jumper."

"I can take it off _myself_ ," he said coldly.

"Fine," said Kakashi, exasperated.

Obito didn't let go.

Kakashi took the hint and let go of the knife, letting it fall to the ground with a clatter. He exaggerated the movement to show Obito what a baby he was being – if Kakashi had wanted to see Obito hurt, he would have gone about it in much easier ways. Such as just letting him get stabbed.

Obito had always seemed to regard him as practically harmless in the past. What had caused the sudden change of attitude? Maybe the injury made him jumpy. Kakashi didn't think he imagined the flicker of fear he's seen in Obito's eyes the split second before Obito's hand closed around his wrist.

"Will you let me see?" Kakashi said, when it became clear Obito wasn't going to undress without further prodding. Obito was still watching him warily.

Obito regarded him for another moment before he pulled off his jumper. A gaping gash was revealed; not wasn't as bad as Kakashi had feared, but deep enough to be of concern.

For one, the bleeding needed to stop.

"You should go to the hospital," said Kakashi. _Both_ of them should, but Kakashi wasn't in danger of bleeding to death, at least. Of course, it was obvious no major blood vessels had been severed, but they couldn't just leave it open. That flap of flesh had to be closed. If not, it would take ages before it healed. Not to mention the risk of infection…

"Talk for yourself. Your whole face is covered in blood."

"Obito…"

"Over my dead body."

Kakashi gritted his teeth. "It _needs_ to be closed."

Had the cut been on an arm or leg, he might have been able to tie something around it to stop the bleeding and hold the wound together, but the location of the cut made that impossible. Even if it _could_ heal without stitches it should still be closed to minimize scarring. Obito had enough scars.

"Well then, _you_ do it," said Obito.

Kakashi dug in his pocket and fished up a needle. "Got thread?"

Obito watched him in disbelief. "Who the _fuck_ actually carries that stuff around?"

Kakashi returned to his fish in his pocket – he should have it, somewhere… There it was. He bit off a string of thread and proceeded to try to get the tattered end through the needle's eye.

"I don't think I even own a needle," Obito added, thoughtfully. A pause of silence. "You know, you really should get your eye looked at, first."

Kakashi ignored him. "Light," he said, wetting the thread.

"Phone's dead."

"Use mine. Jeans, left pocket –-– _front_ one, you arse."

Obito picked up his phone and light flowed over Kakashi's hands. Kakashi thread the needle.

Despite his words – which Kakashi initially thought an attempt to keep the needle away from him rather than worry over Kakashi's well-being – Obito showed no concern about having his skin used as a patchwork quilt. In fact, he seemed to be utterly at comfort with Kakashi sewing through his flesh. Kakashi, meanwhile, hoped he wouldn't rip his skin or accidentally make it worse. The lightning was poor even with the phone's torch, and Kakashi _would_ have preferred to do it anywhere else if he hadn't feared it was either now, or not at all.

Never before had his abhor for hospitals came in so handy. He knew how to patch himself up – literally – even if this was the first time he had attempted his dubious skills on another.

He worked slowly but got the job done.

Kakashi pulled back to admire his work for a moment – the stitches looked even, despite his doubts – and lack of proper tools. He _needed_ to make Obito disinfect it, though. His eyes followed the trail of blood that had run down his torso. He dabbed it away with Obito's already ruined jumper, his gaze straying momentarily down his taut abdomen before he caught himself.

Obito was _bleeding,_ for fuck's sake. What was _wrong_ with him?

Kakashi attempted to stand up.

A hand caught the back of Kakashi's neck. He was pulled back down, lips catching Kakashi's as he let out sound of surprise. Kakashi found himself spell-bound by a thin, delicate shiver of electricity at the touch. Obito's lips were soft and warm. Alive. He was so very much alive...

Obito kissed him, slowly, but thoroughly, unhurried. Kakashi made a move to withdraw, half-heartedly, but hand at his neck kept him in position, and he didn't fight it.

For all their gentleness, the touches had an almost desperate insistency to them.

Kakashi responded, tentatively parting his lips to let a hot tongue nudge his. A hand slipped into his hair. He felt intoxicated. He was barely aware Obito of lifted his thigh over his own legs so Kakashi straddled him. The new position was nice. It made kissing easier. Simple. As natural as breathing.

The moment seemed without of the realms of time.

Kakashi turned his head, slightly, to break away from the kiss. He needed air. Obito dragged his teeth over his lower lip, pulling at the heated, swollen flesh. Kakashi let out a needy sound.

Then he remembered the man, dying, with Obito's bullet shot through his chest. The corpse – or corpses – surrounding them. Kakashi pried Obito's hand away from his neck.

"Obito," he said before Obito could lean in again. "What are we going to do with them?"

He sounded hopeless when he spoke out loud – desperate, even. He should insist they went to the police, but felt oddly protective of Obito. And guilty. Maybe because he had seriously planned to pull that trigger for a while, he felt he was almost as responsible for these men's deaths as Obito was…

"I've got it," said Obito, and that was that. Kakashi was too tired to worry further over the subject at the moment. He gave him one last lingering kiss. "We need to go."

Walking did not agree with the hit Kakashi had taken to his head. It appeared he had been running on adrenaline earlier and suddenly everything was leaving him. Standing up was bad enough. Everything blurred, and his headache, that had been nagging at him constantly since he first woke up, went from bad to worse. Kakashi did his best to push his feelings away and trudged on. They went outside.

Police cars flashed by. There was bright lights and flickering shadows, ambulances crying. Somewhere on the way to the barbed fence from the factory, the ground started to tilt. He threw up.

They continued, the taste of bile in his mouth, head whirling and thoughts becoming more and more incoherent. He leaned heavily on Obito. His eye prickled and watered. He could still not open it.

Shortly after crawling under the fence things became even blurrier and he didn't know where he was going anymore. He threw up again. Obito kept him moving forwards. The pain in his eye grew worse.

Afterwards he could never remember much. Obito's voice grew distant and the cry of the ambulance louder. Then he was finally allowed to lay down on something, which was all that mattered at that point. His mind was swimming with images scissors and clean-cut cotton threads, and couldn't everyone just be _quiet_ , all he wanted was some rest, was that really so much to ask..?

People where tugging at him, pulling at him, asking questions. He was placed on a stretcher.

Kakashi would have loved to black out, escape it all, if only for a while. Unfortunately, he was kept at the brim of consciousness the entire way to the hospital.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

Hell didn't end when he reached the hospital, though. It only begun.

Kakashi was forced to answer a dozen of questions and then his eye was more or less pried open, though at that point the anesthesia had set in and it didn't really hurt anymore – he just felt tired and confused and wanted to sleep. It registered vaguely in his mind that the flecks of light and blurred colors meant that his left eye hadn't gone entirely blind.

He went through several scans and tests, and though the doctors and nurses told him what was happening and what they were doing nothing really stuck in his mind.

An ophthalmologist was brought in and took a second look at Kakashi's eye – asking a new bunch of questions, many of them versions of those he had been asked earlier. Kakashi did his best to answer them. Then he told Kakashi about the injury to his eye and what they could do to help him.

Finally, Kakashi a sighed a form of consent for a surgery – the procedure of it was lost to him, and all he really cared about was that it might – and probably would – restore most, if not all, if his vision.

He was then sedated.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

When Kakashi woke up, his right eye flicked over blank, empty walls. The room was white, but draperies over the windows kept the lighting muted. Gai was slumped in a chair next to the bed, clutching Kakashi's hand even in sleep. Kakashi freed himself, because Gai's vice-like grip had stopped the blood circulation in his fingers. A quiet, subdued pain thudded in his head. His left eye was covered by some kind of bandage and only the slightest prickling sensation could be felt.

All in all, it was a definite improvement from what he last remembered.

It took a few moments before he had detangled his memories enough to make sense of everything – or most – that had happened. It felt like a surreal dream. His memory was a bit foggy, and especially the last bits were hard to remember. Kakashi blamed it on the hit he had taken to his head.

A nurse entered the room and smiled when she saw that he was awake. "It was impossible to get him out," she said quietly, looking down at Gai. "He's been here all night."

Kakashi looked at Gai and smiled, feeling warmth at the thought of his friend's concern. He didn't remember Gai getting here last night, nor did he have an idea of how he even knew Kakashi was at the hospital in the first place; but it felt right somehow – that Gai was here when he woke up.

"How do you feel?"

"Uh– I don't know–" What was he supposed to say? "My eye," he began, and was interrupted.

"It will heal," said the nurse. Kakashi had never heard sweeter words in his life. For a while, he worried that the lack of pain could be _bad_ news. "You were very lucky, considering the circumstances."

"I don't remember much of last night," he admitted. "Could you remind me of my diagnosis?"

"Certainty. You have an eyelid laceration and a full-thickness corneal laceration, which extends three millimeters to the sclera – that it, the eye globe."

She let that sink in.

"The surgery went well. We repaired the damage to your eye, and sutured your eyelid as well. You will be asked wear an eye patch for three days, and return for a check-up on Thursday. After that, you only need to wear an eye patch when you sleep for about weeks' time. You should expect to be sensitive to light a few days, but you should be able to return to your usual activates within a week or two – but no heavy lifting, swimming, or straining physical activates _for a month_. It will take a few months before we can see how successful the surgery was, and even longer than that for the eye to fully heal."

"Thank you. That is great news."

"We also closed the cut below your eye – eleven stitches, there. It will doubtlessly leave a scar, but it shouldn't be too notable." She gave him an encouraging smile. "Easy enough to cover up with cosmetic, if you want to. It needs to be left alone while it heals, though," she added, voice turning stern. "No make-up for _at least_ two months – longer, if it turns out additional surgeries are needed."

Kakashi inclined his head, but didn't have time to answer before Gai woke up and practically leaped out of the chair, this time clutching into both of Kakashi's shoulders.

"My rival!" he cried.

Kakashi patted him awkwardly on his back. "There, there."

The nurse let out a laugh, and bit into her lip, blushing. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just... he's been here all night. He arrived shortly after your surgery and it's been impossible to part him from you since."

"That's just how he is," Kakashi said fondly, and Gai started crying again. "Do you have any idea of how he knew I was here in the first place?"

The nurse looked slightly distracted. "Er," she said. "He was one of your ICE contacts. You seemed a bit out of it, so we thought it might be a good idea to get in touch with your family. The other contact didn't pick up the phone."

"Oh." That would be Jiraiya. It was probably just as well. "Wait. Who brought me in?"

The nurse smiled ruefully. "We got a call about an injured man close to an old sawmill last night. So, that would be the ambulance. They found you passed out on a bench."

"Who called?"

"I can't say. The call was made from your own phone."

"Was– Was there anyone else there?"

"No, not that I know of," said the nurse. "But where were we?" She still appeared to be slightly baffled by Gai. It was amusing. Kakashi patted the still crying Gai consolingly.

"My diagnosis?" he said, prodding her memory.

"Oh, right. Well. You've got a concussion and should try to stay in bed for a few days – both for the sake of your head _and_ your eye. Plenty of sleep is recommended for your sclera and cornea to heal."

She turned to look at some vials and bottles until she found what she had been looking for and placed it on the desk. "You will be taking these antibacterial eye-drops four times a day the first two weeks, and then twice a day for a six to eight weeks, depending on how fast your eye heals…" The nurse dug around and found another vial. "And these, twice a day, for forty days."

Kakashi peered at the vial with his good eye but couldn't make out what it was for from this distance.

"It's to keep your eye properly hydrated, and speed up the healing process," she explained. "The ophthalmologist will give more details on your check-ups, and additional eye-drops may be prescripted if need be. I'll also prescribe oral antibiotics which you will be taking for ten days, and something for the pain; you can collect it at the office on the way out."

"Got it."

"Good," said the nurse, smiling warmly. "If there's any sign of inflammation, bleeding or increased pain or discomfort, contact the hospital _immediately_. Sometimes time can make the differences between compete recovery or permanent harm. Please do not hesitate to seek help."

"Thank you. I won't."

"Just a few questions left, and after the ophthalmologist has had a last look at you, you're free to check-out whenever you wish." She turned around to a desk, finding a notebook and pen. "Beyond your confusion last night, do you have additional problems with your memory?"

"No," said Kakashi.

The nurse ticked something. "Pain other than your head and eye?"

"No."

"Nausea?"

The door opened, and a young man stepped in, quietly shutting it after him. Kakashi presumed he was the ophthalmologist. The nurse looked up, but he gestured for them to continue.

"Nausea?" she repeated.

"No– well, yes," he admitted.

The nurse nodded, scribbling it down. "That's to be expected. Rest, and you should recover just fine. Try not to move about too much." She handed the two vials to Gai. "Make sure he takes them."

"I will," said Gai solemnly.

"I will leave you to our ophthalmologist, then." She nodded at her colleague. "You're in good hands. Have a good day, gentlemen." The nurse left the room.

The ophthalmologist approached Kakashi's bed. "Hello," he said, voice soft and gentle. He had a calm, oddly soothing presence. "We met last night, but you may not remember me. I am your eye-surgeon, Dr Hiroaki Huuyga." He held out his hand and Kakashi took it.

"Pleased to meet you, Dr Huuyga."

The man smiled. "I would like to take another look at your eye. Is that alright?"

"Of course."

Dr Huuyga walked closer, gently unclasping the eye patch. "Ready?"

"Yes."

The cloth fell away and darkness gave way to light. Kakashi blinked – his eye started running instantly, and his vision was still blurred, but he _could_ see with it – make out shapes and forms, at least.

"How do you feel?" said Gai.

"It's… okay." It was better than he expected initially, really; but the light hurt his eyes and his vision wasn't much better than it had been yesterday. "My sight's a bit blurry–"

"That is to be expected," said Dr Huuyga. "I must tell you that it's more likely than not that you will need one or several additional surgeries as your eye heals to restore as much as possible of your previous vision. But, we'll see how your eye heals from this surgery, first."

"Okay. And what are the chances of me regaining full vision?"

"It's highly unlikely vision in your left eye be the same as it was before, but hopefully it will be enough for you to lead a normal life."

"And if it's not… would glasses help?"

"Doubtfully. But I wouldn't worry about it just yet."

Dr Huuyga processed to look closely at Kakashi's eye, and ran another few tests. When he was finished he told him everything looked fine and asked Kakashi if he had any questions or confusions regarding his medications or how they should be taken. After receiving a negative he reminded Kakashi to pick up the antibiotics at the office and to be back for a check-up on Thursday.

Then he bid them a good day and left, leaving only Kakashi and Gai in the room – the first time they had been alone since Kakashi woke up.

Gai was the first to speak. "Jiraiya called shortly before you woke up, and said he was on his way to Amegakure. I asked my father to get in touch with him, as we couldn't reach him by phone last night."

"Thank you, Gai."

"Would you like to rest some more before we check out?" said Gai. "There's no hurry."

"No, I'm fine," said Kakashi. "I want to go. If Jiraiya is coming I need to get my things ready."

"'Does Kakashi want to stay in the hospital any longer than what's absolutely necessary?'" Gai snorted. "Why did I even ask?"

They walked out. Kakashi felt a bit dizzy, so he moved slowly, and Gai watched him like a hawk, ready to catch him if he stumbled. Eventually Kakashi gave in and just leaned against his friend for support. It was easier, safer and quicker.

It was first when they had crossed the hospital's parking lot that Gai spoke again. "Should we take a turn around the police station before we head back?" His demeanor was changed; sober, serious, gaze was fixated straight ahead.

Kakashi's stomach twisted into a knot. "No," he said. It came out sounding like a whisper.

Gai didn't say anything more and helped him into the car. Kakashi knew this conversation wasn't over. He needed to speak about it, and tell him this was not Obito's fault. Not this time. But Gai was right – now wasn't the time. They could speak about it after they got back. The ride back was silent.

When they reached Kakashi's apartment Kakashi was so tired he didn't have the energy to speak of the incident. He needed to sleep – and he drifted off almost before Gai had finished tucking him in.

An hour or so later Gai was still there, sitting on a couch with a tight expression when Kakashi woke up. He noted that his backpack had been packed. Definitely Gai's doing, and he had doubtlessly called Jiraiya, again, too – to update him on his state of health, perhaps, or ask him where he was. Kakashi could probably expect to see him here any second. With only a week left of school – and the exams already written last week – there was no real reason for him to stay in Amegakure. He'd get to know the results of his exams sooner or later, and he had no doubt he had at least passed them all.

Looking at Gai, however – who was staring resolutely at the wall in front of him – Kakashi knew he could no longer push up 'the talk'. It was better they had it done and over with before Jiraiya arrived.

He decided to give Gai the opening he was waiting for. "What's on your mind?" he said. His voice sounded hoarse, and he cleared his throat as he sat up carefully.

"You said this wouldn't happen again."

"I–" said Kakashi, but then he faltered. He had thought about what he wanted to say to Gai, but now he didn't seem to know how to say it. How to explain. "It wasn't Obito," he said, quietly.

Something flashed in Gai's eyes. " _Oh_ ," he said. "So what, your hand 'slipped' when shaving?" A muscle in his jaw flexed. "Kakashi – that kind of cut," He gestured in his direction, still fuming at the wall, "does not happen by accident."

"It wasn't an accident," said Kakashi, as he got out bed. His balance held, and he only felt a mild nausea at the moment, so that was good. "Or perhaps it was, sort of, as it wasn't anybody's intention that my eye would get in the way. But it wasn't Obito's fault."

He started making his way towards the kitchen. Gai followed him. Thankfully, he was too distracted by their conservation to yell at him for being up and walking.

"What do you mean it wasn't Obito's fault?" bristled Gai. "Since when is it _not_ Obito?"

Kakashi walked into the kitchen and poured some water into his electric kettle. He was on his way to the cupboard when he caught sight of the morning's newspaper at the table.

It was bold in the headlines, but Kakashi hadn't really expected any less.

 ** _Nine Dead and Twelve Injured_**

Gai saw his gaze and sighed. "It happened last night. Giant gun-fight. The Akatsuki is suspected to be involved, but…" Gai shook his head. "It didn't seem like them. It was too organized. It doesn't have their 'feel'. Some say it was a more elaborate plan of revenge, or the work of some terrorist group, but… I don't know. It took the police hours to get under control. It was all over the city – literally." His voice lowered. "Word at the hospital has is Sasori from our school was one of those who died."

Kakashi's fists clenched. There was a moment of silence.

"Don't tell me _you_ got involved in that," said Gai, realization dawning in his voice. "Kakashi?"

Kakashi turned away sharply – the movement made his head spin – and got two cups. He put a teabag in each and poured the now boiling water into them, before he sat down heavily in one of the chairs, inclining his head towards the chair in front of him. Gai gave a frustrated sigh, but sat down.

Kakashi pushed the bowl of sugar towards him.

"Let's just say…" He stirred his tea absently. "…I got between two of the fighters. Literally." He pulled up his teabag, watching the water drip of it, as if it were one of the most fascinating things he'd seen. "…they weren't on the same side," he added helpfully.

Gai groaned.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

It wasn't that Kakashi didn't want to tell Gai the truth. It was just that he didn't know how much to tell. How Gai would react. How to _explain_. Because he didn't know himself, and the thought of Gai rejecting him was too painful.

Was Kakashi as guilty for the men's death as Obito had been? How would Gai react to the unexpected, calculating coldness, the part of him that had planned to murder for Obito's sake? That had been ready to pull the trigger?

How could he be so cold-hearted as to not even falter at the idea of murdering someone?

The most terrifying part of it all was that the gun had calmed him down. His shaking had stopped when he aimed, visualized himself doing the unthinkable. To take a human life.

Why?

Surely other people did not react like this. Why did he? Was it because of Rin, because he'd already taken a person's life – technically killed, really – that he did not have any claims to do so anymore? Had he already lost his humanity?

Kakashi's fingers gripped into his blanket. He hadn't been shaking then, but he was shaking now. Was he no better than Obito? Did he have the right to judge? What would Gai think if he knew?

Kakashi twisted in his bed. His eye was prickling underneath the eye patch. Kakashi griped over it with his hand, barely resisting the urge to push the heel of his hand against it. _Hard_.

He would have deserved the pain. He hadn't even attempted to stop the spilling of lives last night.

It should have been a relief to be back at Konoha. To just barely make out the soft snoring sounds of his grandfather in the other room. To be somewhere familiar. Safe. Instead, he felt haunted.

He saw the man Obito shot dying, over and over again. The dark pool of blood grow. His face turning ashen. The gun in his hands, cool and steady. Empowering. The scenes kept replaying, and though it was like torture, he couldn't stop. He felt like screaming. Something was ripping him apart from the inside.

Guilt.

A question he couldn't answer, because suddenly, he did not know.

 _Who am I!?_

* * *

 **I spent a ridiculous amount of time doing research on eye injuries to make this realistic, but ended up hardly writing any about it… *sigh* Just as well, I guess. I'm sure I've _still_ got some mistakes that would make people with more knowledge than I want to face-palm themselves when reading this. :P**

 **I don't dare make any more promises on my updates. Not anymore. But I HOPE my next chapter will be out within two weeks, as I intend to finish this stupid thing before the end of September. I kind of have to, as we're moving again, and I might be unable to use the internet for some time. ( _Somebody_ 's saving trillions of fanfics on her computer, just in case…) **

**My family situation is getting better, and I believe things will be even better after the move. Thank you for all the concern and understanding. 3**

 **PS. I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes. English is my second language. If memory serves right I got separated from my native English-speaking beta around chapter seven or something.**


	26. Chapter 26 - A Helping Hand

**Not entirely content with the chapter. Feels a bit like a 'filler'! XD Well. Consider it a breather, because the following chapters will be heavier on the plot!**

 **I'd like to give credit to Master_iPad on A03 for beta-ing this chapter. Thank you! You did a wonderful job. :)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 26 – A Helping Hand

* * *

It was raining cats and dogs when Kakashi made his way to Itachi's house. During the three days of downpour, Kakashi had only left the house to walk Pakkun. It was high time for a change of scenery.

It was little over a week since Kakashi had returned to Konoha to lick his wounds. Since then, his stitches had been removed and he'd gotten two additional check-ups. Other than that – and a number of lengthy, tricky conservations with Jiraiya on the subject – not much had happened. His friends had been too busy to visit. Most of them already had plans for Easter and their schedules were jam-packed. Even Gai and his father had spontaneously flown to Greece for the holidays.

Compared to Amegakure, the calm neighborhood of Konoha where he lived was uneventful. His breakdown the first night after the shootings had passed, leaving only new, disturbing questions, recurring nightmares and the occasional sleepless night in its wake.

He'd gotten plenty of time to rest, and his eye was healing well. The vision in his left eye was not quite back to what it had been before, but he'd adjusted. The sight difference between his two eyes no longer bothered him and, even better, his vision was improving little by little with each passing day.

A new diagonal scar cut his eyelid in half and drew a line down his cheek. It was still healing, an angry, blotched pink, but it would fade with time. It drew attention – an unavoidable consequence – and he'd be deflecting questions about it left and right once it spread through his neighborhood (not to mention the attention he would be given about it in Amegakure when he returned) but he still felt he had gotten away easy. Had the blade been an inch closer, or if he even had tilted his head differently…

Well. Then he would have a glass orb now.

Kakashi felt better in Konoha. It wasn't just the familiarity, it was the very atmosphere, the air. Something intangible. He belonged here, with the trees and Pakkun and the peacefulness of the country – even the cemetery. It may have seemed morbid that it could feel like a part of home to him, but it was Rin's resting place. Kakashi liked being able to visit her. Liked having her… there.

So he felt better. Much better.

Only…

He was getting bored. Which was, in itself, a good sign. He was fully on the way to recovery. And although he had no particular plan, he hoped Itachi was free so they could do something together. Anything would be better than a repeat of yesterday. He'd spent so much time in his bed his spine had started to ache. He needed to get up and _do_ something.

His restlessness might also have had something to do with his inability to train. His ribs were as good as healed, but due to his eye injury, heavy physical exertion was strictly forbidden. He could jog, and do some light strength exercises, but he wanted _action_. First his fingers had taken their sweet time to heal enough to do grips and throws last fall. Then his ribs prevented him from safely receiving them. Now his eye hindered him. Was he doomed to _never_ do judo again?

Itachi was a good bet if he wanted to stifle this boredom – easily the most interesting individual in this neighborhood, and too tactful to ask directly about his eye. Probably.

Hair darkened by the rain and feeling much like a wet dog (at least he didn't smell like one), he knocked on the door of the Uchiha family's pristine home.

It was a short, animated figure that opened the door. Mischievous blue eyes twinkled up at him. Kakashi took a step back in horror. Sasuke appeared in the doorway behind his friend.

"Kakashi-sensei!" exclaimed Naruto. "You've come to train us in judo, right?"

Kakashi paled. If he still had any lingering worries about Obito, they vanished into thin air at the sight of _this_ little calamity. "No. It's… too rainy," he said. "And we don't have enough room inside. Too many sharp corners." He was not about to mention that Jiraiya had rebuilt part of their cellar as a personal judo hall. No way. Boredom was way better than playing teacher.

Naruto pouted, his all too blue eyes leaving Kakashi to glare at the falling raindrops.

Kakashi did not feel the least bit guilty for Naruto's unhappiness. "Is Itachi there?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but Naruto beat him to it.

"Yeah! 'Course he's here!" Naruto grabbed his hand. Kakashi barely had time enough to kick off his boots before getting dragged inside. "He's in his room!"

Kakashi stumbled over a toy on the floor, but managed to catch himself before he fell – only to step on a Lego. He hissed, jumping on one leg and gripping his abused foot, biting back a curse. It was incredible how much pain one little colorful block could inflict. When he straightened, his head hit an open cupboard-door. He let out a grunt and groaned in exasperation. He'd always thought Itachi's family was overly clean and almost obsessively organized; apparently he had been wrong all along.

During all of this, Naruto never slowed or let go of his hand, continuing to drag him through the house. Kakashi had to jump over a small toy truck and kick away a ball in his path. As he passed the kitchen he felt the blood leave his face for a second time in just a few minutes.

The place was a _mess._

He was pulled into Itachi's room before he had time to ask about it. Itachi lay on his bed, face first into a pillow, presumably asleep.

A smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth. He had never seen Itachi look so… ah, _undignified_ before.

Naruto ran over to the bed to shake his shoulders. "Itachi, Itachi! Wake up, _wake up_! Kakashi's here!"

Itachi mumbled something incomprehensible and sat up, pulling a stand of wet hair from his mouth. Long, dark lines had crept under his eyes, making him look years beyond his age. His eyes were bloodshot with sleep deprivation, and it took some time before he managed to focus on Kakashi. When he did, he just started at him blankly, seemingly too tired to do anything else at the moment. Kakashi resisted the urge to wave a hand in front of his face.

"Uh…" Kakashi gave Sasuke a look, who shrugged in return. "Could you boys leave us alone for a moment?"

Sasuke picked up on the hint first. "Yeah, fine. Hey, Naruto! Bet you can't catch me!"

The two ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind them. A second later he heard a crash as something broke. He winced. Itachi, however, sat unmoving, still staring blankly into space.

"So…" Kakashi said, sitting down on his bed. "What's up?"

It took a few moments before Itachi answered. "Three nights," he said, finally.

"What?"

"Naruto. Sasuke. I've looked after them for almost… what is it now? Four days."

Oh.

That explained the condition of the house and Itachi's mental and psychical health… or lack thereof. Kakashi cleared his throat. "So… where are your parents?"

For the first time, Itachi's expression changed. He started laughing. For a while, Kakashi thought he had lost it. Maybe insanity was inherent. Maybe it simply ran in the family.

"They're on a holiday," Itachi explained, and maybe laughing had done him some good after all, because for the first time since Kakashi's arrival he looked more alive than dead. There was a tired, but humored spark in his eyes. "At some warm place I can't even remember the name of anymore, together with Naruto's parents." He gestured with his hand vaguely. "Warm – tropical – place. Tropical. Yeah. That's the word."

Itachi really must be out of it.

 _Poor boy._

"…and they left you alone with the kids," said Kakashi.

Itachi fell back into the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "Responsible. Genius. Trustworthy," he said, obviously repeating what others had said about him. "Good with his little brother. _Loves_ kids. Mature. Can handle it." He looked kind of brain-dead again, and stared out into thin air. It was starting to worry Kakashi.

"When will they be back?"

Itachi murmured date and a time mechanically.

"Today, six PM?"

Itachi didn't respond.

"I can take them for a few hours," he offered, only a little hesitant. Itachi grunted. Kakashi took that as a yes.

By the time Kakashi backed out of the room and started to close the door Itachi was already dead asleep. A loud bang was heard from the other room – perhaps a chair falling over. Kakashi winced, looking at Itachi with sympathy. Itachi didn't even stir.

Kakashi stepped over an unknown stain in the floor as he made his way towards the room he heard Naruto and Sasuke's roars coming from. It was Fugaku and Mikoto's bedroom, and the boys were jumping up and down in the double bed, shouting battle cries. A long, suffering squeak was heard from the bed, and Kakashi decided to step in before it collapsed. He clapped his hands to get their attention.

"Naruto! Sasuke! What do you say we go outside?" Outside seemed to be the only safe place for them. He didn't dare bring them to Jiraiya's house, not after what he had seen here.

"It's _raining_ ," whined Sasuke.

"And I'm hungry!" said Naruto. "I want ramen!"

"We can fix that," said Kakashi. "But only if you help me clean up."

"Itachi didn't want to give me any more ramen," Naruto muttered at the floor. He looked up at Kakashi again. "You're not just saying that to get me to clean up, are you?"

 _Spoiled brat._

Kakashi smiled. It might have been a bit forced. "Don't worry. I'll cook you instant noodles."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise." They hooked fingers.

"Yey!" shouted Naruto, leaping up with a fist in the air. "Oii, Sasuke! Let's help."

"Hn."

"If you do it well enough, I might make some eggs for the noodles, too"

Naruto and Sasuke disappeared in an instant.

"Leave all the broken things to me!" he called out after them, hoping they wouldn't run over any shards in their rush. The last thing he needed right now was for one of them to get hospitalized. "Be careful! Don't touch the glass!"

"We won't! Oii, Sasuke, jump –––– that was close!"

Kakashi decided he was better of not knowing what that they were talking about.

After asking for directions to the broom and finding an empty milk-carton to put the shards in, he began to clean up the broken fragments. With three broken glasses, a cracked porcelain plate, and a shattered statue it seemed a miracle Naruto and Sasuke hadn't gotten their feet cut. Maybe Providence or some other higher force took mercy on a thirteen year old boy, after all.

He had just finished sweeping the house when yet another crash of something shattering reached his ears. Kakashi sighed.

"Look out, you idiot!"

"It wasn't on purpose, teme!"

"Kaa-kaa-shiii!"

"I'm coming!" Kakashi picked up another milk-carton from the recycle-bin and retrieved the broom again. This... was going to take a while.

At the corner, Naruto came flying in like a cannonball. His eyes widened when he saw Kakashi, but it was too late to stop the collision, and he braced himself for the impact, holding out his hands in front of him. Naruto's palms hit Kakashi's rib cage full force.

Kakashi gasped in pain, and regained his balance at the last minute, only just managing to avoid a fall and possible re-breaking his ribs a third time.

 _I hate you guys._

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

It took almost two hours to get the house in a (relatively) respectable condition, and by then it was lunchtime. While trying to make strategies on how to keep the house tidy until six PM, Kakashi dug around in the cupboards after the promised noodles.

Naruto stood next to him, drooling.

Kakashi would have told him to back off if it weren't for the fact that now, at least, he was keeping calm. Naruto was responsible for approximately 96 % of the destruction and damage, and keeping him calm was vital for the security of them all – the house's, above all else. Sasuke was really a reasonable child most of the time, but whenever Naruto was involved that changed. And where Naruto lacked the brains, Sasuke more than made up for them. Naruto was the one who came up with all the wild, insane ideas. Sasuke made going through with them possible. Together, they were the worst combination ever. For fighting as much as they did, they had surprisingly good teamwork. He feared that Fugaku and Mikoto would discover their pretty house much more sparsely decorated upon their return – and after leaving Itachi alone with these two hellions it served them right.

However, now he had another, more urgent, problem. _Where_ were the noodles?

"Sasuke…" said Kakashi, "Where do you keep the ramen?"

"It should be on the second shelf to the right."

"I've already looked there, and I can't find it."

"Well…" said Sasuke slowly. "We bought a lot knowing Naruto was coming, but he _has_ eaten it four days in a row. Maybe he had the last packet for breakfast."

Four days? Did that boy eat _anything_ else? Maybe it was for the best that there wasn't any, then. It wasn't healthy by a far shot. He could cut up some fresh fruits and–

Kakashi turned around and met big, teary eyes and a trembling, pouting lip.

"You _promised_."

Oh shit. He'd start crying any second now! There had to be a way to stop it, it just had to be–

"Don't worry, Naruto!" gushed Kakashi. "I'm sure I have ramen at my place! Let's go there."

So much for keeping them out of his house.

Naruto took his hand and dried his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. "Let's go, Sasuke," he said, already sounding much happier. Kakashi breathed out a sigh of relief.

It was a mess to get them into their raincoats. One of the boots had been 'cleaned away' under the sofa, and it took a while to find it. Kakashi felt it was his duty to mention that cleaning up did _not_ mean pushing things where they were not visible – but putting things in their proper place. However, he couldn't be bothered to make a lecture of it, and he barely had time to finish his sentence before Naruto ran out, Sasuke hot on his heels, the door slamming shut behind them.

The rain had subsided. The sky above was grey and unsteady, as if unsure whether to clear up or darken again. Kakashi called for the boys.

The road was wet and muddy, but Kakashi managed to herd the two boys to his place relatively dry. He had his quick reflexes to thank for that, because Naruto was dangerously close to falling into the biggest, deepest puddle he could find on the way and he would have pulled Sasuke down with him had Kakashi not been able to grab them both just in the nick of time. He felt a tug of protest in his ribs.

When they walked inside Kakashi threw a glance at the clock.

Four minutes past twelve. Almost six hours left.

This would be a long day.

And then he made the next discovery. Jiraiya had no ramen, either. But if he cooked spaghetti or pasta… Okay, so they were out of that, too. Naruto's stomach growled hungrily. Kakashi broke out into a cold sweat. There had to be some solution, surely. If Jiraiya had been home, he would have asked him to drive to the store, but that wasn't an option now.

So. What _did_ they have?

In the fridge; Eggs. They had lots of eggs. Of course they had eggs – there were only a few days before Easter… Cheese. A raw lamb roast. Some cooking cream…

Alright, freezer next. Peas. Ice. Bread. Some chicken.

Cupboard, then? Salt. Flour. Soy. Pepper. Rice. Wasabi. Chocolate and Easter candy…

Would bribery work? 'Have some chocolate bunnies and chewy eggs, forget about the promised ramen?' For some reason, he knew instinctively it wouldn't. Not on Naruto. And if he remembered correctly, Sasuke didn't even like sweets. Besides, they needed solid food.

But no matter how much he tried to look at the situation from new sides and different angles, he couldn't see any solution.

 _I get it now. I'm in hell._

"Oii! Look, look, Sasuke! This is how you make ramen from scratch, dattebayo!"

 _…what?_

Kakashi turned around to see the two leaning over a cooking book Kakashi didn't even know they had.

 _It's probably way too difficult, time consuming and we most likely won't have even half the ingredients, but_ –

"'Egg-noodles'," Sasuke read. "I don't think I've tried that."

"They are good," Naruto sighed dreamily. "All noodles… are _so_ good."

Kakashi eyed the recipe.

"Hm." Flour. Eggs. Water. Salt. Sounded simple. It might actually work. Sure, it was bound

to go to hell like the rest of his day had, and sure, their kitchen would be messy beyond recognition when he was done… not to mention whatever they made probably wouldn't even be edible, but…

It was worth a try.

Anything was better than upsetting Naruto.

Kakashi had never actually _seen_ an upset Naruto so far, but he wasn't going to test his intuition on this one. He was quite certain that the blond, innocent looking boy would turn into a rampaging monster if he didn't get his promised ramen and he'd rather not be within miles of him when that happened. Kakashi had met his mother – Minato had been his teacher in middle school – and if Naruto had inherited any of Kushina's temper he'd do best not to upset him.

"Do you want to make some?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Naruto leaped up with a fist in the air and it collided with his jaw.

"Ow!" grunted Kakashi.

"Sorry, Kaka-sensei," said Naruto, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Now let's make ramen! I've never ever, ever, _ever_ made ramen before!"

"And I want to make noodles for nii-san!" Sasuke chirped.

Naruto and Sasuke started pulling out the things needed while Kakashi put a big kettle of water on the stove to boil. He turned back just in time to see Sasuke dumping a generous pile of flour into a bowl, Naruto already cracking eggs into the mix.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

Kakashi felt his neck prickle as he kneaded the noodle dough. Unable to ignore it any longer, he turned his head and found Naruto watching him with a tilted head.

"What?" he said.

It seemed to take a moment before Naruto finally had pinpointed what it was that bothered him.

"How did you get that scar?" he said, and pointed at Kakashi's eye.

"I had a run in with a bank robber."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Wow," he breathed, eyes filling up with hero-worship. "And you fought him. Sasuke! Did you hear? That's so awesome!"

Kakashi pushed the dough over to Sasuke.

"Idiot," said Sasuke. "He's only joking. He didn't _really_ meet a bank robber." Sasuke turned to Kakashi. "Right, Kakashi?"

"Oh, but Sasuke, I really _did_ run into a bank robber. I just didn't fight him. You see, he had a big knife, and I didn't want to die." Naruto listened attentively, Sasuke more doubtful as he worked the dough. "While the robber took the gold, the guards locked the door, to keep him there until the police could reach the place. Unfortunately, this kept me and the other customers locked in, too, along with the employees. When the robber noticed that the doors were locked he became desperate."

Naruto listened with a bated breath. Sasuke's hands had stilled. "What happened next?"

Kakashi took a deep breath. "He jumped out the window."

"Oh," said Naruto. His shoulders slumped. He took the dough from Sasuke.

"A little old lady was standing close by, ahead of me. So I ran forward and pulled her out of harm's way."

Naruto looked unsure, Sasuke highly dubious. "Is that how you got that scar?" he asked skeptically.

"Yes." A pause for effect, and... "The old lady hit me with her purse because she thought I was a pervert."

"Liar!" shouted Naruto.

Ah. Exactly the sort of reaction he was looking for. Winding up cute little kids was _fun_.

"A purse is not even sharp," said Sasuke, deeply unimpressed.

Kakashi smiled. "It is, if it's got spikes on it. You know, one of those punk handbags."

Naruto was uncomprehending.

"Now, can we please get back to the noodles?" asked Kakashi.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I get it. No more questions about your eye."

"Ramen…" said Naruto, salivating.

Kakashi quickly pulled away the dough lump to his side of the table again.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

After a lot of blood, sweat and tears Kakashi finally managed to scrape together something that both looked and tasted like noodles… pretty much. They _resembled_ noodles, at least. If one squinted.

The blood – and the tears – came from Naruto. During their cooking session he got a splinter in his foot. Kakashi made a mental note to remind Jiraiya to polish the floors this spring. The sweat was mostly his own, really, and it was the worst for that heart-stopping moment when Naruto grabbed a huge kitchen knife and then promptly fell off his chair with it. Through some miraculous occurrence there was no harm done to the boy – but Kakashi was quite sure he'd lost at _least_ ten years of his life.

He hid all sharp objects on top of a seven foot high cupboard after that.

The creation of the noodles itself wasn't too bad. Besides fishing out some eggshells they'd only had one bigger obstacle – Naruto dropped the dough on the floor and Pakkun got to it quicker than they did, so they had to start all over again, which was perhaps just as well. The second try went better and they didn't get any eggshells into the noodle-dough at all. But to cut the noodles without a machine specifically made for the purpose was harder. Kakashi had to do as well as he could with a knife. When he finally put the doughy threads into the boiling water, they looked thin, but they soon swelled into very thick pasta. Naruto and Sasuke were both too excited to care about such minor details. Noodles were noodles, and these were noodles they'd made themselves.

After boiling and straining the noodles, Kakashi put them aside in a bowl. He fried the chicken and made a quick stock with bouillon cubes and some soy-sauce and, trying to be healthy, he added peas - much to the children's dismay - putting it all together into something _resembling_ ramen broth. Again, vaguely.

While Kakashi made the table, Naruto and Sasuke ran to get Itachi. It had stopped raining and was so warm outside that Kakashi allowed them to go without their outdoor clothes. It was too much of a hassle to dress them. Itachi – who now had gotten four full hours of undisturbed sleep – looked much better when he arrived than he had earlier that day.

Jiraiya's pickup rolled in on the small parking ground outside their window just as Kakashi started to pour the soup into bowls.

Jiraiya walked into kitchen and did a double-take when he saw Naruto. "Hey," he said. "You must be Minato's kid."

"I'm Naruto. Believe it, dattebayo!"

Jiraiya chuckled. "I believe it. The resemblance between you and your father is uncanny. I'm going to guess, looks aside, you're more like Kushina. It's been long since Minato and I met up. How's your father doing?"

"Dad?" said Naruto, eyes intently focused on what Kakashi was going. More specifically, on the noodles. The boy really had an one-tracked mind. But then, it was twenty minutes to three in the afternoon, and they hadn't eaten since breakfast. Woops. Maybe Kakashi should have served them some fruits – or tomatoes – earlier, before they started on the noodles.

"Yes," said Jiraiya. "Your dad. How is he?" Jiraiya leaned his chin against the palm of his hand, watching Naruto with amusement.

"Good... he's good."

"And where might he and the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero be?"

"Uh," said Naruto. He blinked in confusion, eyes finally landing on Jiraiya. "The red what?"

"The Red Hot-Blooded Habanero," said Sasuke. A dark, broody shadow passed over his eyes. "They're on a holiday with my parents."

Kakashi ruffled his hair. "Don't sulk, Sasuke."

"I'm not sulking!" said Sasuke, glaring at Kakashi. "But it's not fair they left me and Itachi with _him_." Another glare, this time directed at Naruto.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"

"Ramen!" said Kakashi, and placed a bowl in front of him.

Naruto forgot everything else.

While it might not have been the best meal Kakashi had ever eaten, it was definitely eatable and neither Naruto, Sasuke nor Itachi had any complaints. Whether or not this had to do with the fact that Itachi was too tired to really taste the food, Kakashi didn't know. Jiraiya said there wasn't enough salt, and Kakashi – after muttering about how sodium was unhealthy in big doses and both overconsumed and overvalued in the corrupt society they lived in – handed him the saltcellar. At any rate, too little salt was be better than too much.

After their meal, Kakashi locked Naruto and Sasuke out from his grandfather's house and Itachi locked them out from his parents' house, and together they watched the boys roll around in mud-puddles to their heart's content until the grown-ups responsible for their spawn returned and they could breathe out a sigh of relief.

Itachi was too tired to thank him, but Kakashi could feel his gratitude in one weak smile before he walked back to his own house. Kakashi didn't think he'd get out of his bed until school started again.

And when Kakashi came home to the slow, empty house, all quiet, calm and boring… he was perfectly content to read Icha Icha until the end of time without any more disturbances.

How stupid he had been.

He would never again wish for other entertainment. This was all he needed.

When the sun was setting he walked out to Rin's grave. As always, he seemed pulled towards the place, and couldn't help visiting when he had nothing else to do. It had become a habit. Whenever he felt like leaving the house but didn't have a special destination in mind, he came here.

The air was still cool from the rain, but not chilly. The last rays of sunlight warmed his skin. It was still and smelled of spring and the wet, sweet grass. Birds chirped to each other on the tree branches. Purple-grey clouds dispersed, revealing a lavender sky tinted pink, fiery red and orange by the dark horizon. It was spring.

Tomorrow would be a fine day to go for a long walk with Pakkun.

Kakashi put some hand-picked wildflowers by Rin's stone and murmured goodnight.

The next day he visited, the flowers were scattered.

* * *

 **I have a question for you guys - what genre should I be marking this as? So far I haven't been able to decide between Horror, Romance, Angst, Suspense and Friendship… This is hard! The fic is drawing to an end and I can't simply leave it at 'General'! Please help me out? (It's possible to choose two genres.)**


	27. Chapter 27 - Closer

**Um, so while the preparations for moving didn't take that more time than anticipated… saying goodbye to friends did. I'm now relocated, and once again a lonely outsider… or excited tourist here to stay (with a lot of adventures ahead of me) depending on my mood. The good news is that we'll be staying in a guesthouse the first months here, so I'll still have an internet connection. Yey!**

 **I'd like to say that I'll be able to publish faster now that I don't have any friends to distract me with 'must last one's', but I also have a whole new language to learn, and (inspired by Benny Lewis's language blog) I'm aiming to be decently fluent in just three months. Hopefully. Maybe.**

 **As you can see, I've also (finally!) labelled the story. Romance and Angst had the clear majority of votes (suspense coming in as a third). Thanks for the help!**

 **I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my lovely beta, Master_iPad on AO3. You're a joy to work with!**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 27 - Closer

* * *

After that day, Kakashi made sure to stay far away from Itachi Uchiha's house. Who knew when Naruto would be Sasuke's playmate next? It would take time before Kakashi got over the trauma of baby-sitting those two – he was certain he'd never willingly do it again.

Kakashi and Jiraiya spent their days much the same they always had. They took turns preparing meals – most often a late breakfast, and then an even later lunch/dinner. Usually, they ate together in the afternoons and then went their separate ways. Kakashi went out with Pakkun, and Jiraiya… well. He spent his evenings elsewhere. (More often than not the nights, too, actually.)

Kakashi stayed at home. He could have gone somewhere, too, but… he just didn't feel like it.

With just the two of them, they didn't really do anything special. They'd make an attempt at Christmas, but at Easter they didn't bother trying to keep up the pretense. They did eat an abnormally large amount of boiled eggs, but that was pretty much it.

Things had been different, once. Obito, Rin and Kakashi had done everything together, scurrying from house to house, from the Easter egg hunt with Obito's cousins to decorating cakes at the Noharas'. Being the neighbors' darlings they were stuffed with all different kinds of Easter delicacies and candy was more or less shoved at them wherever they went. And there was the perk of eating Easter dinner at least three times over…

Kakashi knew things hadn't been as perfect as he liked to remember them. Even though he and Obito had been friends, there had always been bad blood between them. They had _always_ fought – if only passively aggressively on Kakashi's side – and though they'd had many great moments, things had often been tense between them, too.

It was a bit dull, though, that the holidays weren't what they once had been.

Maybe that was just part of growing up.

Despite spending most of his time alone, he had enough things to do to keep himself busy, helping to cook and clean up and reading and trying not to think too much (which was the hardest part). In his spare time he found himself drifting to Rin's grave. He spent many hours talking with her.

The days passed with little disturbance until two days before Easter, when Jiraiya, still smelling of alcohol from the night before, came home with two potted plants. He placed them on the table – yellow, ugly little Easter lilies – and broke the peace by asking Kakashi to deliver them to Rin's and Obito's parents. Only then did Kakashi remember it was a sort of tradition.

Jiraiya went to shower and left Kakashi alone with the lilies to take in the news.

Rin's parents were alright. Kakashi would've liked to meet them again anyway, and this gave him a good excuse. But as for Obito's folks…

Kakashi had avoided them for a reason.

He didn't want to hear the questions. He didn't want to have to answer them. But unless he wanted to explain to Jiraiya why he didn't want to see Obito's parents, he had to go. They were his neighbors, and he couldn't avoid them forever. Still, that didn't mean he didn't stall it.

Morning turned noon which turned afternoon. And the flowers stood there, mocking him with their bright cheerfulness through the late lunch he and Jiraiya shared. Their presence was so obvious Jiraiya didn't have to say a single word about them. He just gave the lilies glance, and then looked at Kakashi, eyebrows raised. Kakashi pointedly ignored both him and the lilies.

"Your headmistress called me a few days ago," said Jiraiya casually, as they finished putting away the plates.

Kakashi stiffened.

"She told me to keep an eye on you."

"Oh," said Kakashi.

"She didn't go into any details about _why_ , though." Jiraiya gave him a contemplative glance. "Got anything you wanna tell me?"

Kakashi gave him a blank look.

Jiraiya's shoulders sank. "Didn't think so." Then he drew himself up again, shoving his elbow into Kakashi's ribs – or would have, if Kakashi hadn't blocked it with an elbow of his own. His tone changed drastically. "But hey! You know what?"

Kakashi took a step back, rubbing his sore arm. "What." He had no problem recognizing this tone of voice, and he didn't particularly care to find out what it was that had set Jiraiya off this time. He had hoped he wouldn't have to deal with this until the bikini season began…

"Turns out your headmistress and I used to go to school together! One side of her family's from Konoha, you know! I always did have the biggest crush on her…"Jiraiya trailed off, dreamily. Then he dug his elbow into him a second time, and Kakashi jumped away, glaring. "So if you just _happened_ to cause any trouble that would need me to see her, really, I wouldn't mind. Go wild."

"If you start dating Tsunade, I'm out."

"Fly, fly, little birdie."

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. He left the room when Jiraiya started talking about her cup-size. Tsunade might look good for her age, but she was still, well, middle-age. _Old_. He didn't need the images.

"Also," called Jiraiya from the kitchen, "whenever you're ready to tell me who tried to gouge your eye out, I'll be willing to listen!"

"It was an _accident_!"

"The same accident that messed up your ribs?"

Kakashi flushed. "How do _you_ know about that!?"

"I am Jiraiya. I know everything."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. Had Jiraiya known everything Obito would have been _mince_ by now.

"Don't forget the flowers!"

Kakashi scowled. If he asked Jiraiya to go with the flowers, he might read into it, and the last thing Kakashi needed was to turn Jiraiya's attention to Obito. His grandfather was perceptive enough as it was, even if he didn't look it.

So Kakashi stomped back into the kitchen – feeling utterly childish as he did so, but that didn't stop him from doing it – and scooped up the flowers. After throwing on a jacket and pulling on a pair of trainers he left the house.

He went to Rin's place first. The Nohara family lived a little out of the way, almost two miles from where he and the Uchihas lived, so it was a bit of a walk. Rin had gotten a little sister while Kakashi was away. Kakashi lingered, trying to postpone the inevitable visit with Obito's parents. So when Rin's mother said she needed to do some grocery shopping and wondered if Kakashi would be willing to take care of Reya while she was away, he jumped at the opportunity.

At that moment, he would have agreed to babysit Naruto and Sasuke.

So Kakashi was given the drooling little baby girl, taking care to support her head and hoping he wouldn't accidentally drop the bundle. He regretted his decision instantly. Reya was so _small_. What if something happened? She was a few months old and not as vulnerable as she once must have been, but she was still frightfully fragile, and he was afraid he'd break her. Or maybe she wouldn't like him and start crying.

He turned to tell Rin's mother that he had changed his mind, but just then the door closed behind her.

Kakashi felt a surge of panic. He was alone with a baby, and Reya was left to her fate.

Thankfully, Kakashi's fears turned out to be unfounded. Reya was an angel, and seemed unusually easy to take care of and entertain – not that Kakashi knew, having no prior experience with babies. Her brown, large eyes were expressive and looked painfully similar to her big sister's.

Kakashi discovered that just like gravestones, since babies could listen but not speak,it was easy to talk to them. So Kakashi talked. It seemed to keep Reya entertained. He spoke mostly about Rin. Rin had always wanted a little sister and would have adored Reya, so he felt she should know that. After sharing some memories of Rin with her he felt his throat thicken, so he told her about how he and his friends had tricked Obito with their green hoodies, instead, and asked her what her opinion of that was.

Reya gurgled happily, but didn't seem to have an opinion about it.

And so, Kakashi played gently with her and spoke to her, and slowly her eyelids became heavier, and she fell asleep. Kakashi ceased all motion. If she woke up, she would start crying – he'd learned that from watching TV shows – and if that happened, Kakashi wouldn't have a clue what to do about it.

If upset children were frightening, then crying babies were downright terrifying. The only choice he had was to keep her asleep until her mother came home. So he sat still. Very, very still.

He admired her long eyelashes for a moment, and her tiny, brittle nails. The clock in the kitchen ticked. Drool ran down Reya's chin. He wiped it away with the corner of her quilt.

Kakashi threw a glance at the evening paper. It lay open on the table, on an article on the shootings of last week. He shimmed through the first sentences, most of which suggested all sorts of outrageous things; _Akatsuki involved, but unclear which group behind it––possibly the work of a serial killer––rumors about hired assassins––could have been a terrorist–– Expert says we have a psychopath on our hands––_ before he jumped at the pictures of those that had been shot dead.

The first person he recognized was Sasori. Even though Gai had told him, it still startled him to see him there, listed among the dead. It was as if it hadn't started to sink in that he was truly gone until now. He hadn't known Sasori personally, hadn't even liked him, but for some reason it felt comforting to be holding Reya at that moment. It took him a second before he could look over the other victims.

He could just barely recognize the three men that Obito had fought, and that, dubiously. He wasn't entirely sure, and could very well be mistaken. There was only one woman among the victims. He recognized her with startling vividness – it had been her contorted face behind the flashing knife that had cut his eye and slashed through his cheek.

Kakashi moved on to the rest of the victims. A quick glance told him they were all young, fair-haired males – they appeared to be in their early twenties, or perhaps in their late teens, from the looks of it. A closer look at the data offered about them told him they all had been college students.

A shiver crept up his back and run down his arms, leaving goose bumps in its wake.

There was _something_ –

"Kakashi?" Rin's mother pushed the door open, carefully balancing a cartoon of groceries in her other arm.

"She's sleeping," he whispered, softly. "She's okay," he added, almost to himself – Reya had survived.

Rin's mother smiled at them and took her from him. Reya stirred but didn't wake, and Mrs. Nohara carried her away, presumably to put her to bed. She came back shortly, short of one baby.

"Thank you," she said, warmly. Goddamn, sometimes even Rin's _mother_ reminded him so much of Rin he felt his throat tighten. She started putting away groceries. "I was going to whip up some raspberry muffins. My husband should be back any moment. Would you like to stay?"

He _would_ , he _wanted to_ , but… there was no way of putting it off anymore.

Mrs. Nohara saw his mournful look and laughed. "Sorry, I forgot. You still have flowers to deliver. No need to look so forlorn – you're welcome to come back anytime you want, you know that." Her eyes sparkled. "Especially if you're going to babysit Reya."

He might just have to take her up on that. Mrs. Nohara's muffins were _divine_ , and Kakashi hadn't had one in… well, ages. In fact, that he had been offered muffins at the Nohara's might be a good enough excuse in and of itself for Jiraiya to not get suspicious and think he was deliberately avoiding Obito's parents if he just so _happened_ to not have the time to deliver the flowers today…

But then, it might not.

Seeing his internal struggle, Rin's mother rolled her eyes, fond and exasperated. "I'll bring over a batch of muffins tomorrow." She swatted at him. "Just go, you overgrown puppy."

Kakashi crinkled his eyes happily at her, and stood up.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

It was starting to darken. Kakashi walked up to Obito's parents' house with dread in his heart. He hoped this would be quick – and more than anything; that Obito's parents would take a hint and just not ask about Obito.

He knocked.

The door opened, revealing Obito's father. Though Obito resembled his mother more in both looks and personality, the similarities between him and Obito was enough for Kakashi's heart to quicken. Maybe because he'd just seen Rin in her mother, he couldn't help but notice the subtle features that Obito and his father shared, now.

"Hello there, Kakashi."

Kakashi gave a small smile and shook hands with him, momentarily tongue-tied.

Obito's mother danced around her husband and took the potted plant as she greeted him by giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Kakashi!" she exclaimed. "It's so good to see you!"

"Happy Easter," Kakashi managed. His smile was a little more sincere this time. There was simply something about Obito's mother that was so cheerful that he couldn't stay depressed in her company. The spirit of Easter, perhaps. The happiness was infective.

"Happy Easter to you too, sweetheart! Be sure to thank Jiraiya, and give our best wishes to him."

"I will."

Normally, Kakashi would have made small talk, but he knew Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha wouldn't be upset with him if he forwent normal pleasantries. They knew him too well to be insulted by it, at least – it was more likely they'd come up an excuse for him all on their own, rather than think badly of him.

His task done, Kakashi turned to leave before Mrs. Uchiha could insist he stay.

"Hey."

Kakashi froze. A shiver run up his spine and the hairs at his nape rose. There was no way he could confuse _that_ voice with anyone else's.

"Bakakashi." Kakashi could feel his blood running cold. "Aren't you going to wish me a happy Easter too?"

Kakashi turned around, slowly.

The other teenager lounged against the end of the stairs. A smirk played at the corners of his lips. The expression was friendly, if slightly teasing, but Kakashi wasn't fooled. There was a predatory edge to it. Things had been at stand-still the last time they met, but now… he had the distinct feeling that the hunt was back on.

Obito was out to get him.

Kakashi felt as if a trap was closing in on him, but surely, this couldn't have been planned. Could it? His mind ran as he tried to think of any clues or signs that he could have missed, but he came up empty. Not that it made any difference now. He was already here.

Obito's parents embraced, jittery with happiness, and then his mother hugged him, too.

"He's finally back!" said Mrs. Uchiha, "I am so happy. He told me all about how you two attend the same college now!"

Well. No awkward questions to answer at the moment, then. Obito had taken care of that. A relief. But right now, that was the least of his problems.

 _Breathe._

Obito wouldn't just _attack_ him. His parents were there, too. All Kakashi needed to do was to get out. And then run for his life and stay under lock and key for the rest of the holidays. Simple.

In theory.

Kakashi's heat rate was rapidly increasing, the beat loud in his ears.

"Why don't you boys go up to Obito's room and catch up?" said Mr. Uchiha. Kakashi took a step backwards. His hand moved to the door handle.

"Kakashi?" Mrs. Uchiha looked concerned, "Are you alright, dear? You look a bit pale. I'll call Jiraiya and tell him you'll spend the night. You shouldn't walk home all alone in the dark anyhow."

"I'll be fine." Kakashi made a move leave, but Obito's mother put a hand on his shoulder. His insides went cold.

"Nonsense," she said, seemingly oblivious to his rising panic. "Obito, you better take care of him. Your father and I have to leave for your aunt's."

"Sure thing, mom." Obito's eyes were fixated on him. "I'm sure… I would have been bored had you not dropped by, Kakashi." He tilted his head towards the stairs. "Let's go to my room."

Fuck, this wasn't a trap. It was a bloody _noose_. And it was rapidly tightening around his neck.

Kakashi glanced back. Obito's parents were blocking the door. Were they even aware of that? No exit would be a smooth one. If he tried to go out now he'd look like a moron.

But. Kakashi grit his teeth together. He _wasn't_ going to be played like a pawn by Obito, whatever his game was.

"I really need to get going," he choked out, pushing his way to the door. He tasted freedom when he opened it, but he didn't stop to relish in the feeling. The door slammed close behind him, and he _ran_.

The night air was cool on his face, and his heart hammered hard.

The door was thrown open.

"Wait!" yelled Obito.

Obito's voice made him stumble. Kakashi heard the door swing shut a second time, and he caught himself and kept running. He was almost at the gate, but the delay was all Obito needed. A few moments later a hand caught his arm, pulling him to a sudden stop.

"Wait," repeated Obito. Kakashi tried to wrench his arm free. Obito's grip slipped, his voice turning almost pleading. " _Please_."

Kakashi stilled.

Obito was panting quietly, regaining his breath. The silence of the night in the small neighborhood was almost deafening. The stars were bright and clear. A breeze blew through his hair.

For some reason, his mind went back to those photographs in the newspaper. The shootings. The uncanny similarities between the victims. Obito being here. And it all just sort of… fell into place.

"They were after me, weren't they?"

Obito froze. Kakashi could see it as much as he felt it. The way he stilled, the way the fingers around his wrist stiffened, and how his breathing ceased entirely for a few seconds.

Kakashi breathed out shakily. Obito's reaction was as good as a confirmation. It was the only thing that made sense. The majority of the victims – with the men Obito himself had killed, and Sasori being the only exceptions – all had fair, pale hair and were of his build. None of them had been members of gangs. And… the men Obito fought… they were far too skilled. Not to mention, they obviously knew Obito.

"The reason you came back to Konoha…" Kakashi's voice trailed off. He tried again. "The reason you came back to Konoha was to keep an eye on me."

Not a word in reply.

"You didn't know if they'd follow me, but you had to make sure," said Kakashi – making the vague guess sound like a bold statement. He was not contradicted. "So you followed me back to Konoha. Isn't that right?"

A heartbeat of silence.

"It is," said Obito. Kakashi felt his pulse throb.

"I remember you were talking with them. And you said… you said you'd do it yourself." Kakashi swallowed. "You meant killing me." He licked his lips. "Who… who told you to kill me?"

Obito let go of his arm. "It- it doesn't matter."

"Obito," Kakashi turned to face him. "Why did you save me?"

No answer. Obito was avoiding his eyes.

"Obito." His voice was rising, against his will. "Who wants me dead, and why?"

"It's not you," Obito said, finally. "It's because of _me_. He wants you dead because of me. If you hadn't been acquainted with me, Ma–" Obito stumbled on the word, cutting himself off before he continued, " _He_ wouldn't have bothered you."

"Who has so much power that the leader of the Akatsuki does his bidding?"

Obito's eyes flared. "I don't ' _do his_ _bidding'_ ," he snapped, glaring blazing daggers at Kakashi. "He just… _meddles_. He thinks he has some sort of claim over me just because–" Obito turned away, pulling a hand through his hair in frustration. He let out a shaky, bitter laugh. "Forget it. He's nothing by an old fool with the right contacts – and the money to pay for their services." He sneered, disdainful.

"Anyway," said Obito. "He probably only sees it as part of my 'training'." The word 'training' was spat out as if it was something disgusting.

Obito's expression changed as he looked at Kakashi. Became thoughtful. Wary. "He's right about one thing, though. You _are_ a weakness, and I need to get rid of you. But I'll do it my way. In my time.

"If he tries anything again I'll fucking _murder_ him," said Obito under his breath.

Kakashi closed his eyes. The silence stretched on.

"Thanks," said Obito, after a while. "For patching me up." His voice was unusually low, sincere. _And for having my back_ , went unsaid, but Kakashi could hear it in the tone of his voice. Another short period of quiet, and, "I didn't expect you would."

Kakashi glanced at him, and found himself being intently observed. There was a new look in Obito's eyes as he watched Kakashi – oddly tender, and it… unnerved him.

Kakashi decided to leave the discussion about 'needing to get rid of him because he was a weakness' for another day. He felt too tired to face yet other battle right now. Obito already had progressed a lot in just a few days, and it didn't sound like he planned to murder him in the immediate future.

"I didn't expect you to call an ambulance for me," he replied, quietly.

"Well." A pause. "I said no one but I could kill you, didn't I?" Despite his words, there was no fire. In fact, he sounded exhausted. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I haven't gone to these lengths just because of some order I received by another. I was always planning on… doing it, you know."

"Why?"

Obito looked at him. Then he turned away, almost as if he couldn't bear the sight of him anymore. Not while there were discussing this. He shrugged. "Seemed fitting."

"Fitting?"

"You're the only one left that matters."

Kakashi smiled wryly. He too, felt tired. Tired of fighting a losing battle. But maybe it wasn't a losing battle any longer. Maybe, the winds had turned. Something inside him _burned_.

This wasn't just about Rin dying.

He didn't know how, but somehow Obito had been hurt so badly his entire persona had changed, and it wasn't as simple as he had first thought.

Someone had done this to Obito.

And if Kakashi ever found out who… that person would wish they had never been born.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

A lapse in judgment made him agree to return to Obito's house. When they walked back inside, Obito's parents had dressed up and his mother had, predictably, already called Jiraiya to say he would spend the night. They both appeared unsurprised by the show Obito and Kakashi had put up earlier – perhaps they suspected things were still tense between the two of them, though they doubtlessly had no inkling just _how_ tense. When he went in they just smiled at him winningly. Kakashi offered a weak smile of defeat in return.

"There's leftovers in the fridge," Mrs. Uchiha said, as she put on her jacket. "If you're hungry. If not, we'll just eat something simple when we return."

"Yes, mom," said Obito.

"Don't forget the bread. It'll be done in half an hour, remember that."

Obito rolled his eyes. "Yes, mom."

Mrs. Uchiha gave her son the evil eye. "If you burn my loaves, I'll expect you to have replaced them by the time I return, young man."

" _Yes,_ mom _,"_ Obito practically groaned. Kakashi watched the pair of them, amused. Mrs. Uchiha kept looking at Obito, eyebrows raised in expectation, and it was clear Obito was growing more embarrassed by the minute. "I won't forget, _okay_?"

"Good," said Mrs. Uchiha. "And remember to put a clean towel over them, too." She threw Kakashi a pointed look. "Remind him, Kakashi."

Obito groaned. He took Kakashi's arm and started pulling him up the stairs in a hurry, obviously trying to get away from his mother. Kakashi humored him.

"Now. We won't be go for long. _Behave yourselves_." Obito turned beet red. He tugged harder at Kakashi's arm. "Oh, and don't touch the candy, Obito! Your cousins are coming tomorrow!"

Obito jerked Kakashi into his room and closed the door with a slam.

Kakashi gave him a look. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?" said Obito, testily.

Downstairs, Obito's parents could be heard shuffling as they moved about, getting ready to leave. They went outside. There were muted voices, the roar of a motor, and the car drove away.

Obito slumped against the door.

" _'Behave yourselves'_ ," quoted Kakashi. It had only stuck with him because of Obito's weird reaction. He looked around curiously at the room. It looked exactly the same as it did five years ago. Frozen in time. It made for an eerie feeling. "What was that about?"

"Nothing," said Obito.

"Obito."

Obito sighed, long-suffering. " _Fine,_ " he said. "I _might_ have made some vague insinuations about you being my… boyfriend."

"What!?"

"Well. Or at least sexual partner–"

 _Ugh_. And everyone knew Obito was about as 'vague' as an incoming train. "What's _wrong_ with you?"

Obito huffed. "They were too bloody happy to have me home," he said, sulkily. "It was fun to watch them squirm, okay? Only," he threw a glare at Kakashi, as if this somehow was his fault, "I didn't expect them to end up _supportive_."

"I'm not your boyfriend!"

"I know that! But it would only have been a matter of time before they realized something was up, anyway!" He threw Kakashi a look. "What does it matter to you what my parents think, anyway?"

Kakashi closed his eyes and counted backwards from ten. "It matters," he gnashed his teeth, "Because by now your aunt knows and by _tomorrow_ half of your _insanely huge_ family will know and the day after _everyone in Konoha will know."_

"I didn't think about that."

And just like that, it clicked. Kakashi spluttered. " _You_ – you – _you liar_ , that's just it – you _did_!" Kakashi looked at him, incredulous. "You damn well did! You did, and you wanted everyone to know that–"

"That you're mine." A flicker of warning in Obito's eyes told him not to contradict his statement. Kakashi breathed out slowly. Oh, well. The harm was already done. There was no use getting upset over it now.

 _"You're mine."_

That was just the problem, wasn't it? That it was the truth – that was what Obito thought, and he wanted everyone to know Kakashi 'belonged' to him. In Amegakure. In Konoha. It was the same _everywhere_.

Kakashi sighed. "Never mind. Just… drop it." His eyes were drawn to a framed photograph. The three smiling faces made his heart clench. The nostalgia was painful in its intensity, if he allowed himself to reminisce. He tried not to.

Obito saw him look and a muscle clenched in his jaw. Without a word he went up to the drawer where the photograph stood and turned it over, glass down. He then continued to do the same with all the other framed photos. Kakashi was a bit surprised he hadn't done it earlier, actually.

Obito turned back to him. His eyes were smoldering. He came closer and grasped his face between his hands. "Eyes on me." Their foreheads touched. The proximity made breathing difficult. It made thinking difficult. Slowly, Obito backed him up. "I don't like it when you're distracted..."

A jolt of heat went through his body. Kakashi shoved Obito away from him, heart pounding. A familiar darkness flashed through Obito's eyes. It forebode danger.

Kakashi thought it best to change the subject. Immediately. "Um," he said. "Is that the bread burning, Obito?"

Obito stopped dead in his tracks. But then he scoffed. "Nice try, Kakashi. It hasn't been ten minutes." At least the question got him off course, and Kakashi didn't think he imagined that gleam of good-natured humor in Obito's eyes, either. This, he realized with a start – to get Obito off the destructive paths before he started walking them – was becoming easier.

"So..." He shifted his weight, feeling restless, and stupid for being so nervous. "What do we do now?"

"Well," said Obito. "We could 'behave' like my mom told us to, and choose a movie to watch later this evening, or something equally mundane. Or…" Obito looked over him, considering. "I could suck you off."

Kakashi turned around and banged his head against the closed door. His hands fisted tightly as he tried to fight an upcoming erection. "Choosing a movie sounds like a great idea," he said, voice a little raspy. He cleared his throat and pushed down the handle. If he didn't manage to beat some sense into himself, he'd cave in long before the night was over. He needed to remind himself that sleeping with Obito before he was over the whole 'I'm-going-to-murder-you-phrase' really wasn't the wisest decision. No matter how fucking irresistible he was. "Come on, Obito. Let's go."

"Bore," Obito muttered behind him, but he followed.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

They went through dozens of movies lined up on the 'movie-self' in the Uchihas' living room, having livid arguments about which one to choose, merely for the sake of quarreling. Kakashi shoot down every single movie Obito proposed, who grew more and more wound up with every rejected suggestion.

It was all very… surreal. They weren't fighting. Not really. He wasn't being threatened, or forced to do anything. They were just interacting, in a way that could almost be considered… normal.

Was this another elaborate plan to fuck with his mind? If so, it was working, because Kakashi could almost be fooled into thinking something between then actually _had_ changed.

But it was too dangerous to believe that just yet.

They didn't burn the bread, but it was a close call. As Obito took the bread out of the oven Kakashi hid some of Obito's favorite movies behind some books a few shelves down, just to mess with him.

They were not nearly done – they had only gone through half a shelf of the movies, perhaps, and there were nearly four of them – when Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha returned.

"Supper will be ready in a jiffy," promised Mrs. Uchiha. She patted Kakashi's shoulder fondly as she walked by. Obito's eyes flickered between Kakashi and his mother and his mouth set it a scowl.

Kakashi blinked.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" said Kakashi. His words were directed at Mrs. Uchiha, but his eyes were on Obito. Obito glared. First at Kakashi, then at his mother. Both ignored him.

"Would you peel and slice a cucumber for me?"

"Sure thing."

When Kakashi went to follow Mrs. Uchiha into the kitchen, Obito seized his hand. "We were not finished," he said, something between a hiss and a whine.

Kakashi grabbed a handful of movies and pushed them at Obito. "Choose one of these. Any of them is fine."

Obito looked affronted. "But–"

Kakashi didn't stay to listen to Obito's objection. When his mouth opened, Kakashi disappeared in the kitchen. A few moments later Obito followed, looking like a sulky, kicked puppy.

Kakashi set to work with utmost concentration. Obito came and leaned against the bench next to him, eyes boring hole into Kakashi. He moved closer. Kakashi ignored him.

Obito's mother sailed in and out the kitchen to set the table in the dining room.

Obito shifted, so their arms brushed. Kakashi cut the cucumber.

Kakashi was so engrossed in his task that he didn't notice Obito had left his side and moved behind him until hands slipped around his waist. Obito leaned on him, almost sluggishly – his body a warm, heavy weight against his back – and Kakashi's brain went into overdrive. The breath on his neck was impossible to ignore, as was the brush of hair at his cheek, the waft of cologne, lips touching skin and–

Kakashi's knife slipped, and he cut his finger.

Obito's mother returned to the kitchen at that very moment, and seeing Kakashi bleeding she quickly stirred him away from Obito and into safety to plaster him up, making a huge fuss over him. Kakashi was able to exhale when Mrs. Uchiha blocked Obito from view – and reach.

He was safe. For now.

The homemade bread was served with cheese, butter and ham, and the cucumber slices Kakashi hadn't spilled blood on. It was a simple supper, but the bread was still warm from the oven and Kakashi would gladly have taken it as it was by itself, because Obito's mother could really bake.

"Your bread is delicious," said Kakashi.

"Thank you." She wrinkled her nose and looked disapprovingly at Obito. "They look a bit over-baked, though. Obito, when did you take them out of the oven?"

"Dunno," said Obito. He seemed to realize his mistake soon enough, though – the darkening of his mother's eyes might have been a clue – and corrected himself hurriedly. "When you told me to!"

"They're burned." Mrs. Uchiha's eyes were pitch-black.

"They're not _burned_ ," said Obito, indignant. "They have a golden brown color."

"They're a bit too brown, though, don't you think?" said Mr. Uchiha.

"G _olden_ ," insisted Obito, flushing. Kakashi sniggered, and Obito kicked him under the table.

Kakashi cleared his throat, and, like the loyal friend he was, he defended Obito. "They're not black, at least. Just a bit… crispy. Maybe on the dry side. But not doughy. It could have been worse."

Obito kicked him again.

Obito's parents didn't say anything about their presumed 'relationship' or ask any embarrassing questions. Instead, they talked mainly about life in Amegakure. Neither so much as hinted at the abuse Obito had put him through these last months, and whenever Akatsuki was brought up by Obito's parents, they skittered around the topic.

All in all, the meal was merry and pleasant. It was almost so pleasant it was easy to forget that it was a charade – even more so because Kakashi wasn't sure where the lie started and where reality began. Obito acted… different. There was no doubt Obito had changed, but how much – and if it was just a temporary state or not – was yet unclear.

Afterwards Obito washed the dishes – Kakashi was eternally thankful to Obito's mother for giving him that chore, as it kept Obito' hands busy – and Kakashi helped clear the table.

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

A few hours later, they were on the sofa, and Obito had just put on the second movie for the night.

"Goodnight, boys," said Obito's mother, as she passed them on the way to bed. Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha's bedroom was on the other side of the living room's wall, and her husband had already gone to bed half an hour ago or so. "Don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight," said Kakashi.

"Night, mom."

The door closed behind her with a soft click.

With Obito's parents out of the picture, the silence slowly and gradually became more and more awkward. It grew heavier, tense, until breaking is seemed impossible. Before, they'd laughed and commented on poor effects, a predictable plot and stupid characters. Now, Kakashi was unwilling to say anything that would pull Obito's attention from the TV. The distance between himself and Obito suddenly seemed very small, and he shifted a little further away, keeping his eyes on the screen, even though he paid no attention to what he saw. The images left his head the moment they passed through his eyes, and the conservations on screen didn't even register in his mind.

Obito's hand fell on Kakashi's knee. Kakashi felt shrugging it off would make it a bigger deal than it was, but he was unable to pretend it wasn't there, all the same – or shake the rigidness out of his shoulders.

It quickly became obvious neither paid any attention to the film.

Obito picked up the remote and turned off the TV, and the room became dark. One hand was still on Kakashi's knee, warm and heavy. The other put down the remote on the low table in front of them.

"Wanna go upstairs?" said Obito. His voice was husky and dark – tense, almost charged.

"Don't think so," said Kakashi.

It was oddly comforting that Obito's parents were just in the other room. And disappointing, at the same time. Though Kakashi tried to focus on the positives.

Obito inched closer, and Kakashi could feel his head start to fog. Putting some distance between him and Obito seemed like a good idea. He just had to remember how to get his limbs to move, first.

Obito leaned closer, his body warm at his side. His breath was humid at his ear. "Sure about that?" he whispered, lips all but brushing against Kakashi's ear, evoking a shiver.

"Quite," said Kakashi. He was struggling to keep his breathing even, and the more he thought about it, the harder it seemed to become. It seemed unusually loud in the silence of the room.

A hand trailed down his chest. Slowly, slowly, it moved lower, and Kakashi was unable to do anything but watch it with a lump in his throat, blood rushing south.

"Kinky." One fluid movement, and Obito's hand was hovering over his crotch.

Kakashi's breath hitched.

The hand at his knee tightened. Kakashi let out breathy sound. Desire flowed through his body, and he could feel his cock harden.

Obito's other hand came to rest over his bulge. Fingers drifted leisurely, made loose, distracted circles over cloth. The touch was feather light, barely there – but his cock was already straining against his pants. Kakashi's breathing was becoming obviously restricted.

Obito leaned closer. "Will you let me fuck you here, then?"

Kakashi shifted, restlessly. "Obito–"

"Mm?" Lips parted, a tongue swiping over his neck, hot and wet and soft against the sensitive flesh.

Kakashi couldn't stop the unconscious buck of his hips, and the increased contact with Obito's hand drew a whimper from his lips. Kakashi's back arched, and he fell back onto the sofa, panting.

Obito's lips were at his ear, now. His tongue traced the shell of it, dipped inside. Kakashi shivered. His cock was aching, hips jerking forwards of their own accord, and he felt hot all over.

The hand over his bulge squeezed, and Kakashi let out a sob.

Obito chuckled, low and irresistible at his ear. Fingers moved to his belt and started playing with the buckle. Kakashi couldn't pull his eyes away. Obito continued to fondle his button and zipper, thumb stroking over metal, slow and sensual. It was downright _torture_.

"Please…"

That word, that _sound_ – he could barely recognize his own voice– when turned on, his voice tended to turn husky, into a low, seductive purr – but now he sounded needy, desperate – almost pleading.

The hand at his knee slipped up his inner thigh. Kakashi's breathing stuttered.

"What is it…" Obito nibbled at her earlobe. "…Kakashi?"

"…take me to your room."

* * *

 **o o o**

* * *

Kakashi bit his lip.

Even though they were upstairs, the house was quiet and the last thing they needed was to draw attention to themselves. They were in Obito's bed, under covers. Naked. And Kakashi's hands were wrapped around their cocks as they slid against each other.

It felt… incredible.

Kakashi had refused penetrative sex, as he didn't feel he trusted Obito enough for that, and Obito had accepted his boundaries – if only this time.

Kakashi stroked them, feeling the pleasure build up. Best of all was how Obito's control had slowly slipped away, leaving him looking softer and more open than Kakashi had seem him in years, and now Kakashi was watching him, enchanted. The lightning was muted, and he could only take in flickers of his face at a time. Hair ruffled, thick and inky black – in sharp contrast to the white pillow. Lips full and red and parted, cheeks flushed and eyes shaded by eyelashes.

Perhaps Obito wasn't handsome in the stereotypical way. He was too coarse and too scarred for that. But there was something artistically pleasing about his face – a sort of symmetry – and he had a strong chin and chiseled jawline, which not even the scars on his face could distract entirely from. And like this… looking almost vulnerable and lost to the moment… he was breathtaking.

"You're beautiful."

Obito's eyes met his, almost instantly. He hadn't planned to say that – the words had just slipped out – but it was nonetheless true. Maybe not to most people, but to Kakashi he was.

He regretted saying it, however, when Obito's eyes went guarded. "If you think this is anything more than me using you," he said stiffly, voice cold, "You're deluding yourself."

It felt like a stab in his chest, as a punch in his guts – as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. Kakashi recoiled, drawing himself into a fetal position before he was even aware of it.

Obito followed. A hand was placed on the other side of him, trapping him beneath Obito's body. "Not a thing has changed," he whispered, voice cruel at his ear.

It wasn't news to him. Obito had been clear about that from the beginning. He didn't know why hearing it _hurt_ so much, though. But it did. The words could have been knives. It felt as if someone was cutting into his heart. Physical pain would have been preferable; these emotions were choking him. _How_ could he have been so foolish as to allow himself to _hope_? Now, he had to suffer for it.

He couldn't stay here. Couldn't let Obito see him like this – see how much a few words affected him.

Kakashi sat up. He pushed Obito away as he did, and turned away from him in an attempt to hide any betraying emotions visible on his face.

Obito grabbed his arm, and with a sharp tug Kakashi was back in his arms.

There was a whimper, somewhere – a restrained sound of agony, like that made from a wounded animal. It didn't instantly hit him it came from himself.

Obito offered him no privacy, no chance to pull himself together from the hurtful truth thrown so blatantly in his face. He rolled them over, straddled him, and pressed his forehead against Kakashi's, eyes heavy-lidded but burning like fire into his own. Obito entwined their fingers, and their breaths mingled. "Stay," he ordered.

Kakashi's throat closed up, and made a sound that sounded like that of broken acceptance.

Obito's eyes fell shut. His hands took the place Kakashi's had been earlier, and began to stroke them both. Their breaths grew loud in the room and the sheets became damp with perspiration. Despite the ache within, Kakashi was swept away. Every touch, every caress was breaking his heart.

Obito picked up the pace – it became hurried, desperate. Kakashi grasped after something to hold. He found Obito – his back slick with sweat and hard muscles flexing under skin as his fingers dug in. His breathing grew more ragged, became rapid and shallow, and his hips jerked up, once, twice, pushing up in Obito's fist and his entire body tensed, and he came. Something inside him shattered.

He didn't know how much more he could take.

* * *

 **I only have one thing left to add. Don't question Obito's logic. You'll die a gruesome death.**


	28. Chapter 28 - Time's Up

**I did intend to publish this earlier, so I'm very sorry for the delay! My lovely beta have been very busy lately, and didn't get the time to look through this entirely, so please overlook any spelling/grammar mistakes (but DO point them out if you have the time!) I decided to publish it anyway… you guys have been forced to wait long enough (thanks for that, BTW!) and I feel it's important for me to finish this before the end of the year (so I'll really do my best to do so!)**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 28 – Time's up

* * *

Kakashi walked out of the university with some of the guys from his calculus class, heading towards the bus stop. The campus was crowded. The last lectures had been held for the day, and most of the remaining students were heading home now; only a few would stay to take advantage of the library. Gai had finished early, and Tenzo, going by bike, had left a few minutes before he did.

Spring had graced the city.

The sun was warmer, the chill less biting; the air much gentler on the face. Birds were returning in large flocks. When they landed they darkened the trees. After resting, they took off again, flying north.

Students had shed much of their clothing. A few were already walking around in shorts, though the majority were still waiting for warmer weather. While the occasional YOUTH-hoodie walked by every now and then, most students wore their normal clothes again, as did Kakashi. He was tired of hiding.

He would avoid Obito when possible, but he wasn't up for another game of hide-and-seek.

Easter had passed, but since that day in the Uchiha's house, Kakashi had no further interaction with Obito. Obito had walked past Jiraiya's house, once. Kakashi had felt a tug to go out and speak with him then, but had known that doing so would only cause him pain.

He'd moved away from the window, and a few days later took the train back to Amegakure.

Kakashi had known he would have to face Obito again, eventually. He just hadn't been ready to do it then. He still wasn't, and he was starting to think that maybe he never would be.

Still, the moment had come.

Akatsuki was there, on the other side of the parking lot.

Every single one of them looked like trouble, and together they made an intimidating picture. Blocking the sidewalk, students and other passersby made byways to avoid them, leaving a notable gap in the crowd around the gang. Obito stood in their midst, Deidara closest to him at his right.

Sasori's absence was painfully apparent.

Kakashi's eyes fell down to the concrete as he made to pass them.

"Kakashi."

In the crowd, it would have been easy to miss his name spoken so quietly, but Kakashi couldn't help picking up on it. And he couldn't help reacting. He looked up. Obito's eyes were on him, dark and unreadable – only the faintest edge of sharpness apparent, and all the more dangerous because of it.

Obito make a jerk with his head, indicating him to come.

Something happened, then.

A compressed, heated feeling crept through his limbs. It moved slowly at first and then sudden blazed up, taking over his entire being in an instant, setting him afire. It was alive inside him, humming with energy and unexpected feelings. Resolution. Rage. Not directed at Obito, exactly – more at the situation, that this was how things were. He was sick of it. Sick of Obito ordering him around, of following his every order. Of Obito treating him like this, keeping up this _infuriating_ act. They should have been past this.

He'd had enough.

All traces of fear vanished.

Obito's face was emotionless except for the cocky tilt of his head, demanding Kakashi to do as he said. There was nothing unsure or uncertain about him – he didn't only demand Kakashi to follow his order, he _expected_ him to. And that was… provocative.

Determination coursed through his body as Kakashi met Obito's gaze head-on. Almost without realizing it, he was walking towards him. Students scurried out of the way, unwilling to come between anyone and the Akatsuki, but Kakashi barely saw any of them. He was well recognized by now, and other students always kept their distance when Obito was nearby, scattered even, if Obito approached him. To him they were all a blur of strangers, and the only one he had eyes for was Obito.

Something must have shown on his face, because Obito's shoulders tensed. It was the only thing that betrayed he wasn't as confident as he appeared. Kakashi wouldn't have noticed it a few months ago and he doubted anyone else picked up on it now. Not even the Akatsuki seemed to notice the subtle change in their leader's demeanor. Obito's gang-members were still surrounding him, bantering with each other. Some looked bored. Others looked on in amusement. Either way, Kakashi's obedience was expected by all of them.

Another surge of indignation fueled him, urged him on. Kakashi walked closer, too close, until he was invading personal space. Obito's eyes steeled, his body tensing as if expecting a fight. His face became perfectly blank, guarded off all emotions – a protective mechanism, no doubt, to make it harder for the enemy to read him.

From the corner of his eyes he saw Deidara stiffen.

Kakashi seized Obito's shirt and tugged him forwards, and Obito's mask shattered. Dark eyes widened, and a flicker of fear passed through them.

Kakashi pressed his lips to Obito's, who made a strangled sound.

Kakashi pulled back. "No," he said. There was a disbelieving look on Obito' face, something dazed in his eyes, his lips were still slightly parted. "I already have plans."

With that, Kakashi turned his back on Obito and walked away. Dead silence followed him. And then, slowly, the Akatsuki started to chuckle. Students stared at him, frozen in place. Kakashi resisted the urge to look back and see how Obito was taking it. Slowly, laughter broke out – a few brave souls started it, and it spread like wildfire. Kakashi continued walking.

He didn't have time to go far before he heard footsteps behind him – only just out of sight of the main crowd. He steeled himself, but there was only one pair of feet, and when he spun around, only one flushed, angry face. Obito was panting.

"The _fuck_ was that about?" Obito made as if to grab at him, but his hand stopped mid-air. He clenched it, but instead of throwing punches he brought it down again.

Kakashi was surprised at the display of restraint.

Obito walked closer, getting up in his face. "You made me look like a fool," he hissed, furiously. His eyes were darkened, flickering with humiliation he tried and failed to conceal.

Kakashi pushed back against him. Obito didn't step back. "Not nearly as bad as you've made _me_ look," he spat, feeling anger and indignation rise anew.

Obito's eyes flicked down to his lips. That simple, accidental glance brought them both off balance, and they stumbled back. Kakashi felt the anger drain away like water runs out a sink when unplugged.

But then Obito's face contorted, and a new fury lashed out. He took a quick step forward and grabbed Kakashi's wrist, pulling him into his chest with a sharp jerk. Their torsos collided roughly.

"What _plans_?" hissed Obito, venomously in his ear.

Kakashi shuddered, the heat of Obito's body all too close to his own. The sound of his voice was doing wicked things to him. It took a moment before he got himself together enough to realize what Obito was on about. He tried to pull out of his grip, but Obito grip was strong, and he jerked him closer to himself. Kakashi let out low grunt, hating himself for his own weakness.

"None of your business," rasped Kakashi.

" _Tell me_ ," growled Obito.

Rage.

"I said it's none of your business!" he snarled. Fueled by adrenaline Kakashi tugged harshly, managing to rip free this time.

Obito's breathing was labored, he was so worked up – they both were.

"I'll let you in on something," said Kakashi, and dammit, his voice was low and husky, but he seemed unable to change that. Obito's pupils dilated, and he knew that his own eyes were darkened in lust as well as in anger. The intensity had reached an almost unbearable level. Kakashi didn't even attempt to stop staring at him. He was doomed to fail. "I'm not obliged to share _anything_ with you. You have no right to tell me what to do. You have no say over who I'm spending my time with. And…" Kakashi's voice lowered, and he took an almost unconscious step forwards, "…you have no right to know _what_ we'll be doing, either."

Obito looked like he'd been hit in the face, and for a moment Kakashi thought he had pushed his luck _too_ far. But instead of going on the offensive, Obito pulled back as if wounded. Then he turned towards the bickered wall of the building hiding them from sight, finally breaking eye-contact. He punched it, and hung his head. "Come with me, instead," said Obito. His voice was low, and rough. Almost raw.

Kakashi was unrelenting. "No. If you want to spend time with me, you _ask_ me." Then he left.

Obito didn't follow.

* * *

o o o

* * *

That evening Kakashi allowed Gai to drag him back to the dojo. It was over three months since he had re-broken his ribs, and though his eye-surgeon had allowed him to start heavier exercise again, he was still forbidden from doing any hard judo training for at least another week or two.

That meant throws were out of the question and that, in turn, meant no randori.

Being here, watching all others fight, was something of a torture. Still, it felt good being back, and better still that it just were a matter of days before he could train for real again. And doing the easier exercises were better than none – if nothing else, they would get him ready to start the heavier training next week, because Kakashi refused to wait a day longer than that.

Their club had a pleasant atmosphere of comradeship, and everyone was happy to have one of their 'stars' back. Kakashi had to deflect a bit too many questions about his absence than he would have liked, but Gai helped him.

"Kakashi-sempai." Tenzo still referred to him as that – though only here. He was notably thrilled to have him here again, even if they saw each other daily in school. It was sort of cure, really.

"Mm?"

"Can you watch me and Gai spar? I could really use some help on what areas I need to improve."

As if his name was all that was needed to summon him, Gai appeared by Tenzo's side, bouncing on the soles of his feet.

Kakashi chuckled. "Sure." He had watched Tenzo spar before, but it was awhile. He felt envious of both Gai and Tenzo as they walked out on the mat.

Tenzo _had_ improved. Both had, and it was impressive. Gai was clearly superior – Kakashi noted that he would have his work cut out for him trying to catch up to Gai again, with how much he had improved during Kakashi's bedrest – but Tenzo was a natural, and it was notable that he had honed his skills at least as much as Gai had these last months. There were of course a few minor flaws – he needed to perfect some techniques he used, learn to receive throws smoother and safer, and maybe he could improve his joint locks. One flaw stood out more than all others.

"You're too stiff," said Kakashi when the two judokas came to hear his opinion.

"What?"

"Stiff. Inflexible. Your attacking movements – and your falls – would be helped by an increased flexibility. Judo may not demand high kicks like Karate, but all moves will be more fluid with a certain level of flexibility. And you," Kakashi said, poking him in the forehead. "you're below average."

"…I hate stretching," Tenzo admitted in a low murmur. "I tend to skip it."

"Unless you work on it, you can't go much further," said Kakashi coldheartedly.

"He sounds all high and mighty," said Gai, a smirk playing on his lips, "But this scarecrow used to be quite stiff himself only a few years ago."

Kakashi let out an offended snort.

"It was I," Gai continued, "– the Green Beast of Konoha – that got him into stretching with my challenges!" Gai's smiled with dazzling brilliance.

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the self-proclaimed nickname before his gaze once again settled on Tenzo. An evil thought suddenly came to him, and a feral grin grew on his face. "Gai…" he said. "Why don't you and I help Tenzo stretch?"

"What a most youthful idea, my hippest rival!"

"We had a challenge to get into our splits one summer," explained Kakashi, still grinning devilishly. "We came up with very many… creative and _interesting_ exercises to reach out goal."

Gai cracked his knuckles, turning towards the younger boy.

Tenzo turned very, very white.

With good reason.

After Gai and Kakashi were finished with him, it was doubtful he would be able to walk for days.

It turned out that Gai dragging him back to the dojo a few days earlier then before he could start any real training really wasn't such a bad idea, after all.

* * *

o o o

* * *

When Kakashi left the dojo later that night, it was dark outside. Not even the moon was visible. The narrow streets were lined by lamp-posts, too widely spaced for their muted glow to reach the spaces in between. Thus Kakashi started when a man stepped out from the shadow of a nearby building and fell in line beside him with not as much as a whisper.

Kakashi jumped, spinning around to face the man in a defensively crouched stance. He got no notable reaction in return – the man simply stopped as he did. Before Kakashi had time to place the familiar lines of his shoulders, the hood was lifted away to reveal his face. Kakashi instinctively relaxed.

Something, he berated himself, that really wasn't warranted.

Obito had done little to deserve his trust.

"Obito," said Kakashi, unnerved and relieved at the same time. From their interaction earlier that day, Kakashi hadn't expected Obito to approach him so soon again – at least not for a few days. As if to make up for his initial skittish reaction, he started walking again. Obito followed a few feet to his side.

"What are you doing?" said Kakashi, after they had walked in silence for a few yards.

Not a word.

Okay, so maybe that much was obvious. "Fine," said Kakashi, rolling his eyes. " _Why_ are you following me?" His previous anger at Obito had melted away, leaving… nothing much left other than amazement that Obito _hadn't_ hit him, really. And twinge of guilt whenever his mind replayed Obito's look from earlier that day – guilt he kept trying to shake off, but didn't quite manage to.

Kakashi didn't think this was about revenge, but he wasn't sure. He could never be sure with Obito, and in a way Obito reacting violently to Kakashi's standing up for himself was the only thing that made sense.

Maybe that would finally ease him of his guilt, if nothing else…

But again, only silence answered him. Kakashi kept walking, and Obito followed him.

"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about showing you where I live, Obito," he said, lightly. A beat of silence. Obito didn't even look at him. Kakashi decided to put it all out there. "If you're planning to murder me on my way there I'm not comfortable with that either."

A joke, of sorts. But then again, not really.

Nothing.

Obito walked on, hands shoved into his pockets.

Not revenge, then. Kakashi should have gotten some sort of reaction if there was a grain of truth in what he said. He thought he could read Obito well enough to see that, at least. Kakashi gave him a long glance. Finally; "Are you sulking?"

Obito threw him a dark glare.

Bingo.

"Why are you here if you don't want to see me?"

"…"

Oh. They were still playing at this game, were they? Well then. Kakashi could keep playing. He smirked. "Are you–"

Obito turned on him. "Will you fucking _shut up_?" he exploded.

Kakashi blinked at him. "Since you're asking so kindly."

Pain flashed through his eyes, and Obito turned away with a growl, walking ahead. Kakashi stared after him, and it took a few seconds before he thought to follow. He jogged to catch up with Obito so that they were walking shoulder-to-shoulder again – closer now than before.

Obito was glaring ahead of him, jaw clenched.

Kakashi bumped his shoulder into Obito's.

Obito didn't make any sign of acknowledging him, and he still wasn't looking at him. But the tense lines of his shoulders seemed to loosen up, slightly. They continued walking, shoulders brushing together every now and then.

Kakashi tried to think of a way he could tell Obito he really hadn't done anything more exciting than studying that afternoon, but it seemed that anything he could think of to say would only make him sound guilty. Of something he didn't do. Of something he should be allowed to do _without_ feeling guilty…

Kakashi sighed. He really didn't want to raise the subject again, but he knew that if he didn't, it would only lie there, and like a festering wound, grow more and infected the longer time wore on and nothing were done about it.

Kakashi began to open his mouth.

There was a sudden, unexpected noise to the side of them, and Obito jumped, a hand shooting out in front of Kakashi. Something rustled ominously, but no one could be seen on the street. Obito placed himself in front of Kakashi. Another rustle. Kakashi's eyes dropped to a garbage bin.

A small rodent scurried out and ran across the street.

"A mouse," said Kakashi. His lips tugged, things falling into place. "You're… protecting me?"

"Don't be stupid."

"Of course not. _Whatever_ could have put than idea in my head?"

Obito shot Kakashi an icy glare. Kakashi was sure the chill in his eyes could have out-chilled the coldest mid-winter night on the South Pole. He smirked at him. Obito turned away, seething.

Yet Kakashi was sure he hadn't imagined the twitch at the corner of his lips.

They reached the bus stop shortly after. There, Kakashi refused to let Obito follow him any longer. Obito testily said that he already knew where he lived by now, and that it had only taken so long to find out in the first place because the contract lease had been signed under Gai's father's name, thank you very much (and couldn't Kakashi even rent an apartment by himself?). Obito proved this describing the apartment he lived in in, with enough details to make Kakashi squirm.

Kakashi still refused to let Obito join him on the bus. When Obito proved stubborn he vowed to sleep in an abandoned building in the Sink Hole if Obito wouldn't let him go home alone, and that Obito would have to sleep right there with him in a water puddle somewhere if he insisted on following him everywhere, because that was his only other option. Obito relented, unwillingly.

On the way home Kakashi couldn't help being extra watchful. If Obito thought he needed protection, he probably did. And if Obito was willing to walk Kakashi home when they had just had a row and he wanted nothing to do with him, someone or something was _definitely_ out to get him.

But he already knew that, didn't he?

Lying in bed that night, danger felt far away. But he couldn't stop thinking about Obito and his strange behavior. Even among the Akatsuki, there had been a feeling of unrest. He hadn't noticed it before, but in hindsight, it was obvious. The Akatsuki hadn't loitered around as they used to. At the parking lot they had formed a tight circle, standing close together, as if it was them against the world. Back there, Kakashi had blamed the feeling of 'wrongness' on Sasori's death, but now he didn't think that was all of it. Not even the death of one of their gang-members should have caused that unease among them. So what could it possibly be? It would take something major to put the Akatsuki on edge.

It was easy to fool himself into thinking all was safe. But that was only a delusion. As unreal as it felt, someone was after him. And it wasn't just that. Something was up. He could feel it.

Either Obito was paranoid, or something big was coming.

* * *

o o o

* * *

Kakashi took a shortcut over the university's grounds on his way to his second lecture for the day. As he rounded a corner he almost ran straight into Obito. He stopped abruptly. Obito had his back to him, pacing as he talked on the phone, notably agitated.

Kakashi quickly backed out of sight. He was about to give Obito some privacy, but–

"–there _will_ be an explosion."

Kakashi stiffened.

A cold shiver went up his spine. There was no way he could leave now. Not without trying to find out more. Kakashi knew Obito was capable of many things, and not all of them good – but mass-destruction was _not_ one of those things. At least, Kakashi hadn't thought he was.

Obito growled. "Worry about yourself. Don't forget I know where you live, old man."

Kakashi crept a little closer, standing with his back pressed to the wall. Eavesdropping was not difficult, not with Obito this worked up. It was impossible to hear what the person on the other line said, though.

"I dare say I know all your hideouts by now, _pops_." His voice darkened. "More importantly… I can get to you before you have the time to move."

Kakashi's head was whirling with thoughts. Who was Obito threatening? Why?

"Hardly –– No." Obito's voice was hard with tension.

An indistinct, buzzing noise came from the phone again, but no matter how Kakashi stained his ears he couldn't catch a single word being said. He was quite sure the voice was male, though.

A scoff. "Like I care."

The man on the phone spoke again.

"Oh," Obito's voice had turned mocking. Kakashi imagined a smirk on his lips, now. "Age isn't everything. You don't know this guy. He's _quite_ talented. I have the means, don't doubt it."

A period of silence, longer than the previous ones before. Kakashi risked to inch closer and peek behind the corner. Obito was still half-turned away from him, but he had stopped pacing. His facial expression was hard to read from this angle, but Kakashi saw a muscle in his jaw bulge.

The hand at his side fisted, and his arm started to tremble as he listened to what the other person said. Finally, he stilled.

"No," said Obito. He voice was deadly calm, but his were knuckles white. "You can't get to me anymore. The Akatsuki has become too strong."

Another beat of silence.

"I'll say it once more." Obito's voice lowered. "If you hurt him–––" Obito's face fell, turned incredulous." I'm not _attached_."

Obito ended the call and turned around.

Kakashi ran.

* * *

o o o

* * *

Most of the rest of the day was spent pounding Obito's strange phone call. He saw Obito several times, but Obito never approached him – in fact, he appeared to be avoiding him in general.

Kakashi still caught him staring, a few times.

* * *

o o o

* * *

He was slammed back against the bricked wall and let out a groan. An arm pushed roughly against his throat, pinning him in place. When he blinked through wheezing, he saw blond, long hair.

Kakashi tried to think what could have woken Deidara's ire, but came up empty.

"What are you doing to Obito?"

Kakashi stared at him, uncomprehending. "…what do you mean?"

Deidara's cold blue eyes flared. He shifted so his arm rested directly against his windpipe, this time putting significant pressure against it. "Don't. Play. Dumb," he hissed.

Kakashi let out a strangled noise.

Deidara watched him flailing for a moment, dark satisfaction passing through his eyes. When Kakashi no longer humored him, he pulled back slightly, and Kakashi took a greedy gulp of air.

"What?" he croaked – perhaps suicidal. But he had to know what was wrong with Obito.

Deidara leaned close enough to hiss in his ear. "I don't know what you're doing, and frankly, I don't care. I just want you to _stop_. Leave him the fuck alone. We don't have _time_ to be dealing with you, un."

"'Leave him alone'?" said Kakashi. He let out an almost hysterical laugh. "Don't you see I _can't_ do that?"

Deidara's face twisted in fury, icy blue turned even colder. "You can and you will," he said, very quietly. The tone of voice he used made the hairs on the nape on Kakashi's neck stand up. "If not…" Deidara's long hair tickled his neck. His breath fell hot on his ear. "I'll tie you up somewhere, and I'll make you go ka- _BOOM_ , un."

"Consider that a warning." Deidara roughly shoved him away and left.

That… was the second bomb threat he'd heard in a week.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi took a shuddering breath, trying to calm his racing heart. He was vaguely aware someone was calling his name, but the voice didn't register as 'danger' in his mind, so he could afford to not instantly respond to it. He felt shaky all over.

"Kakashi!"

He looked at his hands. They were trembling. Dark patches flickered over his vision. They grew more pronounced. Kakashi suddenly realized it wasn't his vision that was affected.

Dark stains were on his hand, and they were red. His hands were dripping with blood. Death.

Rin…

He felt panic rising within.

"Kakashi ––––– ––––– – What –––ened? ––saw Deidara leave, and––––––– " Somebody shook his shoulders. He couldn't look up from the hands that had taken a life. He couldn't. "Are you–– alright?"

Thick, sticky, clotting blood.

Why couldn't he ever wash it away?

Large hands grasped his, covered them. Kakashi blinked, and Gai was there, kneeling beside him. "Say something!" he yelled, growing panic in his eyes. There was a blurred commotion around them.

Kakashi looked into the eyes of his trusted friend. Slowly, he felt the insane pondering against his chest slow down. He fell forward, head against Gai's shoulder. "There's so much blood…" he panted. "There's always so much blood…"

"Where?" said Gai, muscles tense and ready for action. "Are you injured?"

"It's my fault," gasped Kakashi. "It will _always_ be my fault. I can't escape it."

Gai relaxed slightly, his arms finally daring to grasp him. "Come," he murmured, voice low and calming. "Let's go home."

Gai stayed with him many hours into the night. When he finally went home it was on Kakashi's insistence. He would have offered Gai to sleep at his place, but he knew that after his breakdown, it would be impossible for Gai to relax in his presence. If Gai stayed he would be up all night worrying about him. Kakashi didn't want that. He wanted to be left alone.

For all the time they had spent together, he had only answered a bare minimum of Gai's questions.

No, Deidara hadn't hurt him.

Yes, this was about Rin. Again.

No, his panic attacks had never been triggered like that before.

Gai hadn't pushed too much, but a grim determination had set over his face. Kakashi knew it meant he didn't have much more time left. Gai wasn't going to stand for it much longer. He had gotten worse, and he knew Gai blamed it on Obito.

Kakashi couldn't even say he was wrong about it.

Everything was starting to become too much for him.

* * *

o o o

* * *

Kakashi had only slept a few hours when his phone woke him. He groped in the dark for it, desperate to turn off the sound.

' _Who let the dogs out? Who? Who, who, who, who?'_

He didn't know exactly what made him answer – perhaps it had been disorientation from sleepiness or just a force of habit. Either way, he found himself sitting groggily in his bed with the phone at his ear at two forty in the morning. He hadn't even seen the caller ID.

"Yes?" he asked, perhaps a bit rudely. People calling others at that time of the night didn't deserve anything else unless it was for an emergency, and if it was for an emergency said person would hardly care whether he was polite or not, would they?

"Kakashi…" drawled a familiar voice.

Kakashi's heart missed a beat, and he felt instantly more awake. He swallowed. "Obito," he said, heart starting to pick up speed. He clenched his teeth, frustrated with himself. Obito merely saying his name shouldn't affect him that much.

"Come here." The tone was lazy but filled with heat, and Kakashi had to struggle not to react to it. The annoyance of being ordered to do something again helped him win that battle.

"How did you get my number?" said Kakashi tersely.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" said Obito petulantly. It sounded… wrong, somehow, It didn't feel like something he would say. His voice changed, became a bit too excited. "No, wait, wait. Wait. I'll tell you." A pause, presumably for the dramatics, and then, "Ninja," he said, and let out a giggle.

The word 'drunk' hit Kakashi like a block of tile. He felt his eye twitch.

"Obito," he said sternly. "Where are you?"

"Really, though. You remember I had your phone that night, doncha? That night when– "

"Where. Are. You." said Kakashi.

Kakashi could almost _hear_ Obito pout. "The Sake Bar," he said, glumly. Only now that Kakashi listened for it could he hear a slight slur to his voice, and it was barely audible.

Kakashi closed his eyes, praying for patience. "Alone?"

"Yep," said Obito.

Kakashi dragged a hand down his face, distressed. Didn't Obito have any sense of self-preservation?

"Come here," repeated Obito. It sounded more like a brattish whine this time.

Kakashi sighed in defeat. He already knew he was going, so the only use his scolding could possibly do would be to nag some better habits into Obito. And not ordering him around was one of the ones he needed to work on the most. "What did I said about–" he started.

There was some sound of commotion, and the call went off.

Shite.

Kakashi jumped out of bed and threw on the closest clothes he could find. He was out from his apartment before he knew it. The streets were empty. He began to jog in a brisk pace. The bar wasn't that far away, and he wasn't sure if he would be able to catch a taxi this time of the night.

Still. Once he reached the place, what could he do then? He' be too late…

The ringtone sounded again, and Kakashi stopped to answer it – it was an unknown number.

"Obito?" he asked. "Are you OK?" It was beyond him how the idiot would think it was an acceptable idea to _drink_ – and in a public bar, of all places – when he was one of the most targeted men in Amegakure. Had he even expected to get home alive?

Kakashi spotted a taxi, and relieved, he hailed it down.

"Please…" Obito's voice had changed since earlier, it was quiet, vulnerable, a hint of a plea in it.

"What?" he asked, as he got into the taxi and muttered the name of the bar to the driver. God, if Obito already had gotten himself hurt, _again_ –

"Please come here."

Kakashi held his breath for a moment, waiting for something to follow. Nothing did. He breathed out. Was that it? Was Obito still on about wanting Kakashi to come? Then he realized Obito was _asking_ him to come, not ordering him, and his heart clenched almost painfully.

 _That_ was the reason he'd called back?

"I'm already on my way," he said, when he realized he had let too many seconds pass.

Silence – except for the sounds of Obito breathing – followed. It was enough for Kakashi to make out the chatter and some song playing in the background – Obito was still (relatively) safe inside the bar. If Obito had fallen asleep on him, maybe that was for the best. Asleep he couldn't do anything stupid.

Like leaving the bar, and stumble out in any dark alleys on his own.

"I want you," said Obito, voice just a little slurred.

Kakashi felt a surge of heat. Which was ridiculous. Obito was drunk, clearly far from his right mind. Kakashi should laugh, perhaps, or tell him to piss off. Sleep of the alcohol.

All that came out was a breathy, "Yeah?"

"Mm..." hummed Obito, and even that managed to sound sexy.

It was lucky the bar was so close – he wasn't sure he could deal with a seductive Obito much longer.

"I'm here," he said, a bit too hoarsely. He ended the call.

Before he went inside, he paused for a minute, gathering his self-control as he took a few lungfuls of cool air. When he felt relatively calm he went inside. Though the music was still on full-swing the place was rather deserted. Kakashi spotted Obito alone in the corner of the room, phone still in hand.

Kakashi went up to him, crossing his arms. "How much have you had?"

"Dunno." The bastard didn't even look up at him.

Kakashi felt frustrated with himself. There was no reason reading into the actions of a drunk man. "Here," he said, grabbing Obito's arm and pulling him up. "I'm getting you home."

He jolted Obito up to lean on his shoulder. Obito dropped his phone, and Kakashi leaned down to pick it up. Obito swayed, and Kakashi's arm went around his waist to support him.

Kakashi slid the phone into Obito's pocket, trying to ignore the warmth of his thigh.

"Don't wanna," said Obito, but he followed complacently enough. They had almost reached the door when Kakashi could feel Obito looking at him. "You came."

"Yes," said Kakashi. "Let's go." They went back to the taxi waiting outside. "Angel Street," he told the driver. Obito collapsed across the seats, head in Kakashi's lap.

Kakashi hoped he wouldn't throw up.

The drive was, thankfully, uneventful. Obito didn't try to fondle Kakashi, and he didn't throw up, either. Once they reached Angel Street, Kakashi had to help Obito out of the car. He was forced to help him to his apartment, too. Obito was stumbling too much to walk on his own.

It was first when he let go of Obito inside, and Obito gripped his t-shirt with a surprising effectiveness that he realized that, while Obito _was_ undeniably drunk, perhaps he hadn't been quite as unable to walk and stand up alone as he'd let on.

But Obito didn't sprout another seductive line.

"Don't go," he said, instead. "He'll come."

Kakashi smirked. "Who?" Bogeyman?

" _Him_ ," said Obito. "And then there'll be nothin' but darkness and him left… and the voices in my head."

Kakashi stilled, the smile melting of his face. He suddenly felt stupid for not instantly taking him seriously. For a moment, he had almost forgotten who Obito was. "Obito?" he said, turning to face him. "What do you mean?"

"I know what I have to do. But I no longer know who I am."

"Fuck," muttered Kakashi. It was just the slurs of a drunk man, but Kakashi got the feeling that something darker was hiding behind it all. There was more to this than what it looked like. Not 'knowing who he was' could easily just be the everyday identity crises youth all the world over face.

But it was also the most vital turning point in brainwashing.

He led Obito into the living room, pushing him into the couch. "Think of Rin," he said, hands on his shoulders to keep his focus – he would have liked to be less blunt, but he had the feeling time was of essence here, or else Obito's thoughts would wander of tangent.

A pained, almost betrayed look entered Obito's eyes. Then they clouded over in anger. A hand fisted at the collar of his shirt. "You _fucker_ –"

Kakashi interrupted him. " _No_ ," he said. "Don't think about the accident. Don't think about her death. _Remember_ her. Remember going to school with her. Playing together. All the small, stupid things you loved about her, the small, fleeting moments that shouldn't matter much but _do_. Who were you then?" Seeing Obito's look, he quickly added, "More importantly – if you had asked Rin, who would _she_ say you were?"

Obito was still notably upset, but at least he was thinking about it. "I'm not that person anymore."

"You've changed. But your core is the same. You can find that child within you. The person Rin loved–"

"She _didn't_ ," said Obito darkly.

"She loved you as a friend. You were her best friend, you know that, don't you? The two of you were always much closer than I was to either of you."

Obito's eyes fixated on his, suddenly looking surprisingly sober. "What makes a person then, Kakashi? If it's his actions, I'm fucked. If it's my… thoughts…or wants… I'm fucked, too."

Kakashi faltered. "I… I don't know," he said. "But only because you've made poor decisions in the past doesn't mean you have to continue doing them–"

"I can't atone for what I've done."

"So continuing like now is the _better_ alternative?"

Obito shrugged. "What's the use in stopping?"

"I– "

"What _is_ evil?" said Obito, voice suddenly gone emotionless.

Kakashi sighed. He went to the kitchen and filled a cup of water.

Obito followed him. "There's no black n' white, you know? Everything's _gr_ _a_ _y_." A pause. "Never liked the color gray." When Kakashi turned from the sink he was leaning against the door opening.

Kakashi pushed the water at him. "Drink."

Obito glared at him. "' _Ask_ me'," he quoted, petulantly.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. " _Really_ , Obito?"

Glaring, Obito reached out for the glass – swatting Kakashi's hand in the process so that Kakashi almost dropped it, causing at least half of the water to splash over the rim. Sighing, Kakashi remembered exactly why hanging around drunks where such a bother. He took Obito's hands and wrapped them around the glass, and Obito downed the rest of the water – well, most of it.

"Fuckin' hate you," said Obito, stroking away water that had run down from his chin. "I _really_ fuckin' hate you."

"Oh, I know that," said Kakashi, taking back the glass from Obito.

A spark of challenge entered his eyes. He took a step closer. "I love you," he said.

Kakashi paused. He turned around and went to the sink where he rinsed the glass and swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Love is… genuinely caring about another person, Obito." He managed to say that without trace of pain. He was almost proud over himself for that. "It's not just a feeling. It's when you go out of your way to make their day better. It's when you give and expect nothing in return. It's when you respect them and you make sacrifices for their happiness." He grimaced. "And it's _not_ what you are doing, Obito."

"Maybe that's the kind of shit I _want_ to do," Obito muttered.

Kakashi turned around, almost cautiously. "You… what?"

"Nothing."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "If you think I'm letting that go–"

"Shut up." Obito swayed precariously. "I'm not nearly wasted enough to deal with this shit. Fuck you for that. Asshole."

" _Obito_."

"Fuck you."

Kakashi closed the distance between them. "Obito," he repeated, softer this time.

Obito grasped Kakashi's hair and pulled him closer, tugging his head back, making Kakashi gasp. "Fuck you," he breathed, so close Kakashi could easily smell the alcohol on his breath.

Kakashi's breath hitched.

Obito's lips brushed his, and Kakashi shivered, turning away. Obito's grip in his hair tightened, turned borderline painful, and then his breath was just bellow his ear, instead. Lips latched on to his neck.

Obito's mouth seemed to be everywhere at once – jaw, neck, collarbone – leaving sloppy, hot kisses and trails of sensitized skin afire. Hands moved down his neck, greedy with desire. Kakashi's fingers curled into Obito's shirt.

Obito stumbled and pulled Kakashi down with him. Kakashi landed with an elbow in Obito's rib. Obito didn't seem to notice. He sat up and shoved Kakashi back against the wall. Hands, clumsy but fervent, were under his shirt almost before Kakashi knew it.

Kakashi felt himself lose control – if he had ever had it at all.

Obito licked a long stripe up his neck, found a sensitive patch of skin just below his ear and sucked harshly. A jolt went straight to his cock, and Kakashi gasped. Obito's hands changed direction abruptly, going south, and Kakashi's breath sped up.

Obito's exhales were hot and humid at his neck. The tips of his fingers started to slip into his boxers.

"Don't," Kakashi whimpered. He felt too weak to resist Obito's touches, but he couldn't take it.

There was only a limited number of times a person could put himself together. A repeat of last time they were intimate would _ruin_ him.

Obito's hands, amazingly, _did_ stop. Slowly he pulled back, swollen-lipped and panting. He sat down beside Kakashi, leaning his head fall back against the wall.

"Spoil-sport," murmured Obito, eyes closed.

And just like that, the ache within Kakashi eased. It had been with him so long he had almost forgotten how it felt to breathe without it. Only now that it started to loosen its grip could he feel how luxurious the mere absence of pain was. How good it felt to _not_ hurt – or at least, not hurt so much. The relief was almost tangible.

How was it that the person who hurt him was the only one who could soothe the pain?

"I really… hate you," slurred Obito. His body was a warm against Kakashi's side. His head lolled, and dropped on Kakashi's shoulder.

"I know," said Kakashi softly. But he no longer felt certain of anything.

A few moments later Obito was fast asleep.

Kakashi didn't leave until it started to lighten.

He walked home as dawn broke. Thin, leafless twigs were in bud, dripping wet with perspiration, the spider-webs covered by dew. The air was clean and chilly, and he breathed it in, feeling refreshed to the very soul. He felt lighter than he had in years.

He could still go on, one day at a time.

Right now, he wouldn't question for how much longer.

* * *

o o o

* * *

' _Who let the dogs out? Who? Who, who, who, who?'_

Kakashi fished up his phone from his pocket, glad for any distraction from his algebra. He had an incoming call from Asuma.

"Yo," said Kakashi, going back to the latest problem he was working on. If the guys were going to do something fun tonight he wanted to finish this up as soon as possible.

"Kakashi. Can you come to Sakura Street? Like, right now. As fast as possible. Genma and I are already here, but he doesn't listen to us. Nothing we says makes any difference, and–"

"Wait!" said Kakashi. He had already let go of both pencil and problem, but Asuma has said all that very fast, and his head was still spinning with numbers. "I don't get it. What's wrong?"

"We need you here," said Asuma, voice strained. "It's Obito."

Kakashi's stomach dropped. "What happened?"

"Nothing yet," said Asuma. "But I think… I think he's going to kill Deidara."

* * *

o o o

* * *

Once Kakashi had gotten off the bus, he ran. Luckily, there had been a bus going in the right direction that had stopped by his apartment only a few minutes after Asuma's call – had he missed it, there wouldn't have been another in an hour – and the ride here had taken about six, seven minutes, all in all. Which was seven minutes too long. He could only hope Asuma had managed to stall Obito.

Kakashi called Asuma, who picked up instantly, and asked for directions. Thankfully, they were still there. Kakashi left the main street and ducked in a smaller alley. A minute later he thought himself lost, and was just about to call again when he heard voices. He ran, following the sound.

They suddenly came into sight, and he pulled to an abrupt stop. It was not a good idea to rush into the scene before he knew exactly what he was dealing with.

Kakashi took in several things simultaneously.

Deidara was held at gunpoint by Obito. He was whispering what appeared to be threats in his ear, one arm held around his neck. He looked about an inch away from pulling the trigger – a fact not helped by Deidara's defiant attitude. Asuma and Genma were trying to pacify Obito, but it all fell on deaf ears. When Asuma tried to move a step closer Obito shoved the gun violently against Deidara's temple.

Another second, and he had seen enough to know that Obito didn't actually intend to kill Deidara. He was only making a point. And that was lucky, because if he had intended to kill him, he would probably already have had it done. Kakashi didn't blame Asuma and Genma for drawing that conclusion, however. They were not as attuned to Obito's body language as Kakashi was.

Still. This was just waiting for an accident to happen, and Kakashi hadn't seen Obito this unstable in months. Just because he didn't intend to kill him as things stood now, that didn't mean he wouldn't on a whim. He had to make Obito lower his gun.

He walked forwards slowly, as to not startle Obito.

Obito's eyes snapped up and met his. And as if a thundercloud rolling over an already gray, unsteady sky, his eyes turned pitch black. The amount of hatred that suddenly filled his eyes – turned towards Deidara – was too intense to meet. The killer intent was almost palpable.

...maybe Kakashi had been wrong about Obito not intending to kill Deidara, after all.

Deidara shoot Kakashi a dirty look. The gun pipe hit his temple with force, Obito's arm around his head tightening.

"See what I mean, 'bito?" rasped Deidara. Obito scowled, and his arm muscles flexed, rendering Deidara unable to breathe at all, much less make any more remarks.

Karma, Kakashi thought grimly, had a dark sense of humor. He sort of had to admire the man for his calm in the situation, though. Unlike Kakashi Deidara didn't fight the choke hold, and there was still a cocky, almost victorious look on his face. As if he'd been right about something, and this has just been proved. His nails dug into Obito's arms, but that was it. Not even as his face started to change color did he out up a struggle, and there wasn't a sign of fear on his face. How a face managed to convey so many conflicting emotions at once – grimness, resignation, and at the same time cockiness and defiance – Kakashi had no idea.

Kakashi watched with an odd sort of detachment, feeling as if he were watching a TV show or something that just wasn't _real,_ as the life slowly started to seep out of Deidara.

" _Kakashi!_ " shouted Asuma.

Kakashi snatched back to reality.

Asuma and Genma were looking at him in horror. He'd made the situation worse than it was before, yet rather than seeming to regret calling for his help, they were looking to him to defuse the situation. They still trusted he could do something.

It was a shocking insight to realize that they were right.

Kakashi's presence _had_ made the situation worse, but he honestly believed he was the only one who could calm Obito down, too. There was not much doubt as to what this was about. That Deidara first had threatened him and then gotten Obito's fury turned on him couldn't be a coincidence. The rumors must have gotten to Obito – which was why is was even _more_ important that he was here.

"Obito," said Kakashi, as softly as he managed to. He didn't expect to break the murderous trance Obito was under so easily – not at the first try – but the dark eyes flickered. Even if Obito didn't look up at least he had heard him. "Lower your gun," he continued, voice quiet but filled with authority.

Obito's finger went to the trigger.

" _Don't_ ," said Kakashi, sharply.

Obito looked up, eyes filled hatred and jealousy. "Why?" he hissed back, voice rough. "Why _shouldn't_ I?" A moment of silence and Obito's rage flamed. "Does it matter to you whether he lives or dies?"

Kakashi had to ponder that for a second. Right now the truth was irrelevant. If Kakashi wanted him alive, would Obito care? Maybe. He seemed to care more about what Kakashi thought, lately… but. From the anger awakened when Kakashi got here, he had a feeling maybe it was best he _didn't_ care.

"Not particularly," he said, and to his relief his voice sounded much calmer and more indifferent than he felt.

Obito's anger didn't increase. A good sign. His eyes was still burning, though. "Do _you_ want to kill him, then?" he said. He pulled the gun down Deidara's temple. Deidara swallowed, and Kakashi realized Obito's grip had eased, slightly. "Or should I do it… using less controversial means?"

Kakashi faltered. "No," he blurted – probably looking horrified at the suggestion.

Obito's eyes narrowed.

Kakashi shook his head, frustrated. "I don't want you to kill _anyone_ , Obito."

"I've already killed." A darkly stated fact.

"I don't want you to kill anyone more."

"Like it matters."

"It matters to me." Obito just looked at him. "Stop. Just… stop. Please." Obito was tense, and at the moment it seemed equally possible he let Deidara go as to shoot him without a moment's notice.

"Let's discuss this somewhere else," said Kakashi.

Obito had to be aware of the possible complications of holding Deidara hostage out here in the open. There was only a matter of time before he would pull attention to himself. Little used as the alley was, it was relatively close to the university, and it was getting late – the university's library would close any minute now if it hadn't already, and the last students would leave campus. It was more likely than not that at least one would shortcut this way.

As this so obviously had something to do with Kakashi, Obito _had_ to take the bait.

Kakashi licked his lips. He swallowed. "Just the two of us," he clarified.

Obito's eyes flamed, burning into his own. One, two, three seconds, and Obito shoved away Deidara, who fell to the ground, wheezing. "Don't even _look_ at him again," Obito growled, not sparing Deidara a second glance. He secured the gun, shoved it in a pocket, and walked away, obviously expecting Kakashi to follow.

"Stay here," Kakashi mouthed to Asuma and Genma, giving them a reassuring smile before he went after Obito. He knew they'd call the police if he didn't return within a few minutes, but he couldn't allow them to follow. It would be a risk to all of them when Obito was in this mood.

They didn't go far. Almost as soon as they were out of sight and hearing, Obito turned on him. "What did he say to you?" Obito snapped, stepping close. "What did he _do_?"

"Um," said Kakashi.

Obito took another step closer, eyes flashing. "Any threat he made is _nothing_ compared to what I will do if I don't find out."

"Another threat to my life, Obito?"

"It's a threat to Deidara's."

Kakashi shoved him away. "Stop it."

A look of indecision crossed Obito's face. Then he seized Kakashi's hand and tugged him close. He swallowed as Obito's lips traveled up his cheekbone. "Please?" he murmured, instead of the demand that Kakashi had expected to leave his lips.

Kakashi felt something bubble up in him, and he let out a laugh that broke much of the tension. "That's not always going to work, you know, Obito," he said. He brushed away a stray lock from Obito's forehead, and slowly exhaled, giving in. "Deidara was just worried about you."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No."

Obito's features softened, a little. "Then what did he do?"

Not knowing how much Obito knew, he didn't dare to cover for Deidara. It may do more harm than good. "Shoved me up a wall," he said, going for a casual tone of voice. "I just… didn't react so well to it." Despite his attempt to de-dramatize the situation, Obito's eyes flicked in anger. Kakashi had to keep from rolling his eyes. "Please," he said. "That's nothing you don't do every other day."

"There's a lot of things I do to you that I wouldn't want anyone else to," said Obito tersely.

"Maybe there's some things you do that you don't really want to do either," said Kakashi daringly, ignoring the question in between the lines.

Obito gaze flickered between Kakashi's eyes. Not an instant denial, at least. Another second, and he opened his mouth to reply.

' _Who let the dogs out? Who? Who, who, who, who?'_

Kakashi grimaced. "My phone," he said.

He debated just ignoring it, but he and Obito had already been disturbed. The moment had been broken. And just in case the caller was Asuma or Genma, he had to answer it. He sent Obito an apologizing look. Obito scowled, but backed off.

Kakashi checked the caller. An unknown number, but that didn't mean it couldn't be Asuma or Genma. He answered it. "Kakashi," he said.

"Kakashi Hatake?" Definitely not Asuma or Genma. This person had a notably dark, masculine voice, hoarse and sort of raspy. Kakashi thought it might be an older man, middle-aged, at the very youngest, yet he undeniably held some significant amount of authority. There was power in his voice.

"…yes." Kakashi felt impatient. Maybe he should just end the call. "And you are..?"

"Obito's grandfather." Kakashi eyebrows rose in surprise, and glanced at Obito. "Madara Uchiha."

"Mr. Madara Uchiha?" said Kakashi, searching his memory. "Oh, right. I remember you."

A wild look crossed Obito's face. Kakashi frowned at the reaction. He was about to ask what Mr. Uchiha wanted when Obito suddenly swatted the phone from his hand, with a force that made it shatter as it went into the ground. He looked up at Obito, startled.

It was like looking into a tornado, something wild and inhuman. The darkness was back, increased tenfold. He felt like a leaf caught by a raging wind, moments away from being torn apart.

This was… different from earlier. Much different.

Obito was breathing heavily, panting as if he'd just ran a marathon. His face was terrifying. Sweat was forming on his brow, and a drop tickled down his temple. Obito looked at him, eyes black holes that sucked the very air out of his lungs. Kakashi made to move back, but the muscle in his leg only twitched, ignoring his command entirely.

Obito moved.

Suddenly Obito was at his back, the pipe of a gun on the nape of Kakashi's neck. Another hand held one of his arms behind his back in a vice-like grip. Kakashi chest and cheek pressed hard against a rough wall.

For a moment, there was only the sound of ragged breathing, the feeling of metal against his skin.

Then Obito's breathing slowed, got back under control. "Tomorrow," he said, and his voice had changed, turned callous and cold, much more dangerous than any outburst of rage. This was the numb voice of a murderer who had locked away his feelings – and his humanity. "Same time. Come alone."

Denial didn't even cross his mind. If he refused Obito now someone _would_ die.

And this time, it wasn't Deidara.

As if reading his mind, Obito leaned closer. "You'll regret it if you don't…" Lips brushed against his hairline. His voice was heavy with threat. "Don't make me do things you'd rather not live to see…"

Gai. Asuma. Genma. Tenzo.

"Just be here."

It took a moment before Kakashi managed to make his lips move. "What for?" rasped Kakashi.

"It's time to end this."

So. It had come to this. Obito was done playing. Kakashi's time was up. He didn't understand why, but the idea of facing Obito tomorrow didn't scare him. Rather, he felt strangely calm. Calm, but there was a steady hum of energy running through his body, the beat of his heart strong and ardent, _ready to do this_. Enough dithering. It had been long coming. Whatever the outcome, this would be a turning point.

Obito's true colors would finally show.

* * *

o o o

* * *

Kakashi called Gai a few hours later. He had luck. His self-proclaimed rival picked up almost instantly.

"Hey, Kakashi. Everything okay?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Considering," he added, unknowing if Asuma or Genma may have informed him of what happened or not. "Gai. I have a favor to ask you."

"Anything."

Kakashi hesitated. But he had already decided on this course of action. Involving Gai in this was dangerous, but he couldn't do it himself. And it was time to put an end to this... no matter the outcome of his and Obito's meeting tomorrow, Obito needed to be stopped. Gai didn't need to know everything – it was safer he didn't. But if Kakashi didn't come out of the encounter alive, Gai would know enough – and have all evidence needed – to put Obito behind bars, once and for all.

Either way, this would be checkmate for Obito.

He didn't want to endanger Gai. Even if he leaned on the precarious side, this would if Obito found out. But this needed to be done. He knew Gai would think so, too.

Kakashi took a deep breath. "I just bought a few cameras. Security cameras. I need help to set them up."

Gai must have picked up on Kakashi's tension. His voice changed. "Kakashi. What's going on?"

"I can't tell."

"If you know something, we should got to the police. It's not as if people don't know who he is. They'll give us the benefit over the doubt. If we can't stop it from happening, at least we would have backup."

"Obito wasn't really explicit as to what would happen if I pulled anyone else into this, but I got the main idea. Do your really think I'm willing to risk all of my friends' lives on the off chance that Obito _hasn't_ bought someone off the police force?"

Gai was silent for a moment, as if debating whether or not he should argue back. Finally, a defeated exhale. "Of course not."

"What we need is undeniable evidence. That's the only thing that will work, or Obito will just find a way to bend the rules and the truth in his favor and bribe his way out. He has before. I only called you because I – well, because I trust you."

"I know," said Gai, voice stained.

There was a long period of silence.

Kakashi waited, giving Gai the time he needed to make up his mind. He knew that Gai would determinate his course of action within the next few minutes and that whatever he decided, Kakashi wouldn't be able to change it either way. There was nothing more he could do.

"You wouldn't use anyone else to get this 'undeniable evidence'," said Gai. "If Obito was threatening the safety of someone else, you wouldn't just set up cameras and let it happen. You would stop it." It wasn't a question, so there was no need for Kakashi to answer him. Gai already knew. He didn't say it out loud, but he could hear it just as well; ' _the only person's life you'd put on the line is your own.'_

Gai exhaled slowly. "I trust you, too," he said, finally.

"Thank you," said Kakashi. He knew he could count on Gai, but he hadn't been sure He'd underestimated him. Gai was always there when it mattered. He may not like it, but he trusted Kakashi to make his own decisions even when their opinions differed. That was one of the things Kakashi appreciated the most about Gai. He was always there, steady and sure as a law of nature, and stuck with him through thick and thin. He was open about his own feelings and would reason with Kakashi when he thought his wrong about something, but he would never make any decisions for him. He could never encroach on his life, not even for 'his own good'. In the end, Kakashi's choices was his own. Gai respected him, and his freedom, entirely.

Perhaps that was what Kakashi valued the most about Gai.

"So what's the plan?" said Gai.

"Tonight. A few hours before dawn…"

* * *

 **Sorry I've been so bad at replying to reviewers lately. Promise to do an attempt to catch up soon! And be sure to know I read and appreciate them all! ;) Much love. 3**

 **Expect another chapter up shortly! If I don't… Oh, I'll just do my best, okay? XD**

 **PS. Be sure to let me know what you think of the chapter!**

 **PPS. I seriously love you guys. :3**


	29. Chapter 29 - Breaking Insanity

**Though I've been working for this chapter a long time… I hurried it a bit in the end (I'm going away and was set on finishing this before the new year!) I may update it if I notice any stupid mistakes. Still, I've done my best, so forgive me if there is any… and point them out, please? :P**

 **Happy New Year! :D**

* * *

 **Breaking Insanity**

Chapter 29 - Breaking Insanity

* * *

When Kakashi walked up to his and Obito's meeting place, Obito was already there, leaning against the bricked wall of yesterday.

Obito had no reason to suspect any security cameras, but Kakashi wasn't going to take any chances. He and Gai had done a good job at hiding them, and just to be safe they had put up several. They were both recorded by a camera set a bit further away, but Obito was standing just out of rage of the closer ones that could provide any incriminating evidence of their identities. For a terrifying moment Kakashi thought Obito knew. He mentally berated himself for his paranoia. Obito didn't know. He had to believe that – Obito couldn't know everything. Kakashi only needed to make Obito set foot within reach of the closest camera, and then…

Then they would see what happened. If Obito truly did kill him, at least he wouldn't die for nothing.

He felt a stab of guilt. Gai never knew Kakashi was in _this_ much danger, and he had made him promise to not come anywhere near this area as it was unsafe. They had planned to return for the cameras early morning, in the cover of the dark, two days from now. He had promised to call tomorrow, but he knew that if he didn't – and Kakashi didn't answer Gai's calls – this was the first place Gai would look.

But by then, this would be long over.

Careful not to get too close, Kakashi stopped a few meters away from where two of the closest cameras' recorded areas overlapped. Obito didn't acknowledge him for a few seconds. His eyes were closed, face relaxed, and Kakashi thought he almost looked… peaceful.

Then Obito opened his eyes, fixating him in a stare most people would never come close to achieving even if they practiced it their whole lives.

"You came."

There was no need for an answer. Kakashi hooked his thumbs in his pockets, then, thinking better of it, pulled them out again. He exhaled. "Naturally."

"Don't move. I'll make it quick… for old time's sake." Obito walked towards him. Kakashi stood still, counting his steps. It was enough – he was in. They were now both recorded. Anything Obito did against him here could be used against him in court. Kakashi's thought process came to an abrupt halt when Obito's fist made straight for his head.

He dodged and caught Obito's hand. The force of it made his hand ache. Had that blow landed, he would have been knocked out cold.

Obito's eyebrows furrowed. He tried to pull his hand back.

Kakashi's grip tightened."I won't let you do that," he said. "Not only have I promised Gai to never let you hurt me again without fighting back, but it would disrespect what Rin died for."

Obito's eyes flashed in anger at the mention of Rin. He jerked his hand out of Kakashi's. "Fine. Fight me then… Kakashi."

Obito attacked him again, faking a punch and delivering a kick. In the last second Kakashi managed to step back, Obito's foot so close he could feel the wind from it.

Obito's fist shot out gain. Kakashi dodged, taking advantage of Obito's momentum and throwing him over his shoulder. His fingers slipped, and Kakashi lost his grip on him. Obito managed to spin midair, landing on one foot and one knee, the fingers of his left hand regaining balance against the ground, dark eyes watching him intently.

Kakashi let out a shaky breath. Obito was _good_.

"Not bad," Obito commented. "…let's see if you can keep up." He dashed towards him again in a speed that shocked Kakashi, but he didn't lose his cool. Obito kicked for his head. Kakashi blocked with his arm – the impact was almost numbing – and jumped back. Adrenaline pumped through his body.

Obito followed him closely, his eyes darting to his right. Kakashi bought the fake and his head was thrown back when Obito's fist connected with his left jaw. The taste of iron filled his mouth.

Kakashi faltered and Obito attacked again.

Obito hit at his stomach. Hard. Kakashi didn't have time to move out of the way and took the blow, but managed to stay on his feet.

Obito kicked for his neck and Kakashi blocked. The force of the impact managed to get him off balance and he fell. Instead of fighting it Kakashi allowed the fall and moved with the motion, rolling up on his feet again. He attacked the instant he regained balance. Obito's eyebrows lifted in surprise, but he managed to counter the blow. Kakashi leaped back.

The two boys stopped, their breaths the only thing heard in the deadly silence of the alley. Obito slowly started circling him and Kakashi warily took a few steps to the opposite side of which Obito stepped in.

He spat out blood, careful not to take his eyes off Obito.

Obito punched for him again. Kakashi blocked with his forearms and hit back. Obito dodged, caught both Kakashi's hands.

Kakashi managed to tear free from him and quickly jumped back. He had to be careful not to let Obito corner him against a wall. That he could do. Kakashi knew to keep himself 'inside the mat'. However, he wasn't used to street fights and found it distracting to try to keep an eye out on the uneven ground and terrain. The attacks were unfamiliar and difficult for him to follow. In Judo, people never targeted the head, and he was unused to defending it. He repeatedly left one of his most vulnerable target spots open for attack.

Also – the cameras. Kakashi stroked back his hair, hiding the betraying flicker of his eyes as he quickly located the closest. He'd have to take a few steps left or he'd get without its range...

Obito moved.

Kakashi lost his balance and felt his legs give up under him. Obito pushed him backwards. Kakashi gripped into Obito's clothes, the material tearing when he spun them around. Obito tripped and Kakashi fell on him. He drew back his fist.

Obito didn't move. In a fight were all depended on who first got the other pinned he knew he had lost, and now he was just waiting for Kakashi to knock his teeth out. For some reason, that angered Kakashi.

Kakashi clenched his jaw. It ached. "This fight is _over_ ," he growled. "I don't want to hurt you, you idiot."

Kakashi got off him and stood up. He turned to walk away. In a blink of an eye Obito was behind him and had grabbed his arm, twisted it behind his back.

Fuck.

He'd let down his guard. Turned his back to the enemy. How stupid could he be? That the one thing you _never_ do. Obito's indifference had upset him so much he'd lost focus. And now, they weren't even recorded.

Obito's breath tickled his ear. "I never said anything about fighting fair," he whispered. A hand closed over his throat. Kakashi tried to break his hold, but it was solid like iron, and he gasped for air, the grip around his neck both choking and strangling. "And _I_ want to hurt you."

Kakashi clawed at Obito's fingers, trying to pry them from his neck. Obito's didn't budge, not even when Kakashi drew blood. He felt himself growing weaker. There was a burning sensation in his head when Obito's fingers dug more purposely into his jugular. He gasped for air, and his heart beat furiously, but what good did it do, if the oxygen couldn't reach his brain? Using sheer desperation as force, Kakashi gathered the last strength he had he kicked back at Obito's knee.

Obito stumbled and howled in pain. Kakashi elbowed his collarbone as hard as he could. The bone cracked at the impact, and the fingers slipped. Obito hissed.

He was free.

His vision sharpened, but his mind was still dizzy from the oxygen deprivation. It was hard to focus. The concrete seemed to roll in waves underneath his feet.

With an enraged snarl, Obito charged at him again.

Despite that small triumph, Kakashi knew he was losing. He had used up almost all his remaining energy. His movements were growing clumsy.

Meanwhile, Obito had barely slowed down at all. Maybe, Kakashi thought dizzily, the adrenaline numbed his pain. Or maybe he was just used to it.

Dodge. Block. Counteratta–

A fist to his head. The alley spun.

Obito was _too_ strong. Kakashi was no match against him. Not now. In any other situation, Kakashi would have run, but the threat Obito had but on his friends forced him to stay to the end – even if it would be the end of him as well.

Obito got in a hit on his lower rib cage. It hurt to breathe.

Obito didn't need to tell him he'd go for Gai or Tenzo next if Kakashi didn't see this through.

Another blow.

Kakashi lost his balance. He fell back against the ground. Obito's foot headed for his head. Kakashi rolled, barely managing to dodge the bone-crushing kick.

Obito didn't give Kakashi any time to get up. He dropped down on him, and his fist moved towards his face. Kakashi didn't have any time to move. He instinctively squeezed his eyes shut. A smack was heard. Kakashi felt something splatter on his left cheek.

It took a moment for him to realize Obito's fist never made contact with his face.

When he opened his eyes, he came face to face with Obito, black eyes only inches away. Both were breathing hard.

Kakashi managed to break free from the intense gaze to look at his left. Obito's bloodied fist was on the asphalt, not an inch from his cheek. Crimson drops were splattered around it. The skin was scraped clean off his knuckles, and Kakashi wouldn't be at all surprised if he had broken every one of his fingers.

Kakashi turned his head back to Obito.

"I win."

Kakashi nodded slowly, wondering what Obito was getting at.

"I'll finish you later. For now… you owe me a favor."

Kakashi didn't bother asking why Obito had stopped or why he had changed his mind. Obito probably wouldn't give an answer.

Kakashi felt too unsteady to speak, but he managed another affirmative nod.

Obito stood up. "Come with me." Barely aware of his surroundings, Kakashi only managed to focus on following him. Blood was dripping from Obito's hand.

They didn't go far. A space opened up, and Obito's motorcycle was parked there. Obito started it and got on. He threw Kakashi a glance. "Get on."

Kakashi heisted a second, before he did as Obito said.

Obito reached back and took Kakashi's hand, placing it against his stomach. Kakashi wasn't given any other warning. The motor roared, and Obito sped away so fast Kakashi's heart leaped. His grip around Obito's waist tightened. The icy wind blew his hair back and made Obito's open jacket flutter. Kakashi's body ached, the injuries from their fight slowly starting to reveal themselves.

* * *

o o o

* * *

When they walked into Obito's apartment Obito grabbed his shoulders and slammed him into the wall. Kakashi groaned when he hit his head, and Obito caught his lips between his teeth, biting hard enough to draw blood. Kakashi's pained sound was swallowed by Obito's lips as he kept pushing him deeper into the apartment – jerking him, shoving him and slamming him into different surfaces as they went. Everything was a hazy mix of sharp teeth, lips against lips, a tugging and ripping of clothes and hot flesh. Blood dripped down the floor from Obito's hand, leaving red spots behind them as Kakashi was maneuvered into the living room.

He was pinned against the wall again before he managed to grasp Obito's wrist.

"What." Obito's voice was husky, impatient – breath hot and steamy on his ear.

"Your hand," said Kakashi. "Let me tend to it."

Obito slowly pulled back, something unreadable passing through his eyes, and Kakashi took advantage of his hesitation by pulling him to the bathroom. Obito didn't protest and Kakashi turned on the water to wash away the blood as he searched for some kind of medical equipment.

"Drawer," said Obito hoarsely.

Kakashi quickly disinfected the wounds before leading him back to the couch in the living room. Kakashi wordlessly rolled on the bandage and fastened it with a small clip. Silence followed. Obito stared at the white cloth on his hand.

"Why did you bring me here, Obito?" he asked quietly. He had a feeling he knew what nature this 'favor' Obito wanted from him might be, but the sudden silence had made him start to reconsider his previous assumptions.

Obito's eyes went back to him. Slowly, the air seemed to grow denser, Obito's attention heavier. He stood up, dark eyes never leaving Kakashi's, and he slowly unbuttoned his shirt – the movement fluid though he only used one hand. Kakashi's mouth went dry. Obito exposed more and more skin as he went lower, before he pulled his shirt off entirely.

His black hair was wind-ruffled and wild after the ride home and his muscles still tense from the fight. Bruises and a few scratches were spread out over his skin. His right collarbone sported the most notable one – a large ugly purple bruise.

Kakashi's gaze lingered on that one, wondering if the collarbone had been broken, but he didn't stay there for long. Obito splayed a hand over his abdomen and slid it lower. Kakashi couldn't help but follow the motion.

There was a dark trail of hair that started under his navel and thickened where it disappeared under denim. Kakashi found himself unable to look away, transfixed by the motion of Obito's hand. Obito unzipped his jeans. They fell down to the floor and he stepped out of them, thumb hooking under his boxers.

Kakashi's heart stuttered.

Obito pushed the material a little lower, and then stopped.

Kakashi glanced up. Obito was watching him. His eyelids heavy, eyes dark. Confidence seemed to radiate off him, and he appeared sinfully comfortable in his own skin. Everything about him screamed sex.

It wasn't fair. Obito was so incredibly fit. No matter how much Kakashi worked out he never seemed to be able to gain musculature like that...

Obito's hand crept lower, into his boxers. He touched himself, and Kakashi felt his blood rush.

At last Obito finally pulled off the last article of clothing, continuing his ministrations openly. Kakashi was spellbound. His mouth felt parched and he couldn't bring himself to look away.

"Kakashi."

Kakashi swayed, suddenly lightheaded. "Yeah?"

Obito took a step forward. Kakashi's heart leaped. Obito passed him and went to the couch. He sat down, spreading his legs wide and leaning back.

"You asked me a question," Obito drawled. His hair was a hot mess that stood out everywhere and dark eyes bored into Kakashi's. "About… why I took you here. What I wanted from you."

Kakashi couldn't think of a reply.

"Down," said Obito, eyes flicking to the floor in between his legs.

Kakashi swallowed. His heart pounded and his knees felt weak. Obito shifted, making his muscles flex and Kakashi's eyes were drawn down his body. He glanced away for a brief second, trying to steady himself, and then looked back, face red. He walked closer, kneeling down in front of him.

Obito gripped Kakashi's jaw, tilting his face until their eyes met. Slowly, he pushed his thumb into Kakashi's mouth. "I think… you already know what I want you to do," said Obito. He stroked his tongue. Kakashi's breathing was growing labored. Obito's eyes seemed to burn into his.

"Suck me off."

Kakashi closed his eyes, unable to meet Obito's any longer. Obito pulled away his hand. Kakashi lowered his head. "Okay," he almost croaked out.

He took Obito's cock in his hands, feeling the soft warm skin in the palm of his hand – he was already so very hard. Kakashi had never been on this side of blow-job before. Oral sex with girls? Yes. But this… this was entirely new. He would have to draw from what had been done to him. He should be fine.

Probably.

Obito raised an eyebrow at him, questioning his lack of protests. To be honest, Kakashi hadn't expected himself to put up so little resistance either. Maybe he had hit his head too hard, but he didn't see any meaning to it. Not now. He wanted this. Obito wanted this. There was no use in making it any more complicated than that.

Looking at Obito's body, all he wanted to do was to worship it… and the intensity of his feelings almost scared him. They were overwhelming.

There was really only one problem.

Kakashi stroked him. He leaned closer, breathing in the scent of Obito – a musky, natural scent, and sweat, but _God_ , he had never smelled anything more appealing in his life. For a while, he just hovered there. Then he closed the distance, burying his nose in pubic hair, and breathed in.

Instantly a hand was in his hair, clenching into the stands. Kakashi let his lips brush against the base of his cock, lips nudging his balls, before he withdrew, slowly drawing his lips back along his length. He felt Obito harden further at the feather-light caress.

"Obito… please… come back to me," he murmured, and then, before Obito could protest, he licked on the underside of the head, knowing full well of the sensitive nerves located there.

Obito's nails rasped into the couch.

Slowly taking him in his mouth, he heard Obito groan in pleasure. Encouraged by the sound, he sucked gently. He used his hands to stroke the shaft higher up, and let his fingers tighten around him.

Obito arched back, spreading his legs wider. Kakashi glanced up at him. Obito's expression of desire sent a jolt straight to his own gut. Obito's hot cock pulsed on his tongue, the taste of his slowly filling his mouth.

"'kashi…" Obito's heavy-lidded eyes looked down on him and met his. His glance sent another wave of heat through Kakashi's body. Wanting to see Obito clench in pleasure again, he tilted his head back to take him even deeper, hollowing his cheeks.

" _Kakashi_."

The way Obito said his name made him shudder.

Kakashi let his tongue swirl around his cock, earning him an airy, breathless panting from Obito. His free hand gave up clawing on the couch to grasp Kakashi's head and pull him closer, trembling in pleasure. Tentatively Kakashi reached for his balls, taking them in his hand and rolled them gently between his fingers. Obito made a low sound, buckling his hips up from the sofa, fingers entwined in his hair. The sudden jerk of Obito's hips made Kakashi gag, and he felt breathless, dizzy. If anything, it made him all the more determined to get Obito off.

He tasted something bitter, almost tingly. Kakashi pulled back to lick at the tip of his head – which made Obito squirm – before he closed his lips around him again, hand stroking his inner thigh.

He liked pleasing Obito. He liked seeing him so out of control, so careless. He finally understood why Obito seemed so obsessed with making him pant his name. It was addictive.

Obito was getting closer, and his control was slipping. Fingers tightened in his hair and his breathing grew more restricted as he tried to hold still.

"Kakashi," panted Obito, voice rough. It was a warning.

Kakashi curled his tongue around him and sucked him deeper, and it was as if something snapped. The grip in his hair became painful, and Obito's hips jerked forward, cock fucking his mouth. Kakashi allowed it. He pulled his thumb down the thin skin behind his balls – and Obito's fingers clenched in his hair. It felt as if he was going to pull it out from the roots. It turned him on.

"Kakashi… I–"

 _Come for me, Obito._

Kakashi make a humming sound. Cupping his balls, he tugged softly. With a groan, Obito's muscles tightened and he came, gasping his name. Despite knowing what was going to happen, Kakashi startled and pulled back. He got some of Obito's ejection on his face, and it dripped down from his chin.

Panting, he tried to catch his breath, the heat of the moment having made him forgot to breathe properly. His own cock was aching, and he pressed down on it with the palm of his hand, desperate to relieve some of the tension.

Obito pulled him closer and used his shirt lying beside him on the sofa to wipe the come off his face. Cheeks, chin, mouth. Kakashi couldn't help but to smile as he saw Obito's concentrated expression as he cleaned him up. He looked oddly… vulnerable. Ruffled, and almost tender.

Obito looked up to his eyes and then glanced away.

Kakashi blinked. That must have been the first time Obito was the first to break eye-contact between them. He noticed Obito's cheeks were tinted pink. That was… unexpected. Was he embarrassed?

Kakashi stood up.

Immediately Obito's head snapped back in his direction. "Where are you going?"

"Home?"

"No." Obito stood up and walked to him. Kakashi tried to back away but stumbled when Obito pushed him into a bookshelf. He knocked down some books as he tried to steady himself, before Obito caught his wrists, glaring at him. A thigh wedged between his legs, pushing against his groin. Kakashi barely resisted the urge to cry out. "You're not going _anywhere_."

Kakashi pulled in a low, shuddering breath. His heart picked up speed as skillful fingers undid the buttons to his shirt and slipped inside to push the material off his shoulders.

 _Not this again._

He was sick of Obito forcing him into these things. He didn't mind the control, the display of power – submitting, even. It was part of what turned him on. But he _did_ mind when his feelings weren't taken into account. He _liked_ being restricted, held down. Overpowered. But only if he could trust that person.

That he would be let go, if he wanted to. That his requests wouldn't be ignored.

Only if that person cared about his feelings, too.

"Bedroom," said Obito. A thumb brushed over his swollen lips possessively, and there was a strange, dangerous glint in his eyes.

"N-no," said Kakashi. His voice was hoarse from their previous activates. He met Obito's eyes head-on, making sure there would be no question about his decision despite the shakiness of his voice. They were _done_ playing this game. He'd set his foot down at the parking lot in school, and he wasn't going to back down now

If Obito wanted him, he would have to show him respect, and treat him like a human being. An equal. He wasn't less than that.

"No?" said Obito, something akin to amusement in his voice – but also danger. His hands run down Kakashi's torso, nails rasping lightly against his skin.

Kakashi bit teeth together, glaring at him defiantly. "No," he repeated, steadier.

Obito scowled. The nails dug deeper for a moment, and then Obito shoved him against the bookcase. A shelf dug painfully into his back just below his shoulder blade. Kakashi twisted as he tried to pull free, but fingers tightened around his wrist, Obito's body keeping him pinned.

"Kakashi…" Obito's breath washed over his neck, making him shiver.

Kakashi shoved back, hard enough to imbalance Obito. Within an instant a penknife was flipped open, the blade against his throat.

Kakashi froze, staring at him. "Is that all I am to you? Somebody to fuck?"

Obito growled but didn't back away. "What you think doesn't matter."

"Answer me, Obito."

"It doesn't matter. You'll _still_ die. Now or later. You can choose if you–"

"Answer the fucking question!"

"NO!" shouted Obito. "No! You're not just 'somebody to fuck'!" He drew a harsh breath, eyes dark. "It would be a shame not to do it, though, before you're a fucking _corpse_."

Kakashi let out a bitter laugh. "Oh yeah? Well, you'd have a lot of more time to get me in bed _willingly_ if you just gave up the idea of killing me at all."

"I… I have to be the one to do it." said Obito. "It's either by my hand, or by someone else's."

That wasn't what Kakashi had expected him to say. "What?"

"It doesn't matter," said Obito.

"Why?"

Obito's nostrils flared. "You. Killed. Rin."

Kakashi felt his insides grow cold. "I didn't. You know I didn't."

"Liar!" snarled Obito. "You killed her! You promised you'd protect her, and you let her die!" Obito's voice rose even louder. "If it's not your fault, then whose is it? Mine?" Obito barked out a rough laugh. "Don't you get it? It's your fault. It _has_ to be."

The clump of ice in his stomach suddenly evaporated. Kakashi felt guilt warring with pity. So. Obito too was blaming himself after all, was he? He too.

"Obito– " began Kakashi.

" _Shut up_!" shouted Obito. He seemed to be losing it. His eyes were wild. They looked insane, haunted. "I want you to feel it… I want you to suffer for what you've put me through… and still… You make me weak; you make me question myself. You can't be allowed to live – I _hate_ you!"

"Obito…." Kakashi tried to speak softly to him, tried to calm him down, but it was too late. The dam had broken open.

"I hate you." Obito pressed the knife harder, breaking his skin. "I truly do hate you." Pain flashed in his eyes. "But I _want_ _you so much_."

Kakashi tried to evade the blade, but it was impossible. He let out a low gasp as it bit into his flesh.

"And that's _another_ reason why I have to be the one to kill you. You're a fucking weakness, do you know that? If I kill you, I can overcome that weakness. I can become stronger. If someone else kill you, you will just continue being a weakness for the rest of my miserable life!"

"Don't," gasped Kakashi. The knife had yet to cut deep, but it was now placed over his left jugular, precisely and dangerously angled.

"I won't be weak because of you."

Kakashi felt the blade press deeper, hot blood spilling down his neck. His hands twitched uselessly at his side. Any sudden move, and he was dead.

"I don't care about you. Fuck, I–"

"Then…" Kakashi barely dared to breathe, much less speak. But he _had_ to. "Then why are you crying?"

Obito stared at him, incredulous. He wiped his eye. "I'm not! I just – I must have gotten something in my eye, is all!"

Slowly, arm trembling, Kakashi lifted his hand to Obito's face. His thumb brushed a tear away from his left cheek. "Both of them?" he asked, quietly.

When Obito couldn't find an answer, his eyes hardened. Immediately he knew that Obito was turning more distant.

"Obito, you can't keep doing that. If you just lock yourself away every time you feel something, it's going to get worse. You can't kill or run away from everyone you care about only because they make you vulnerable. It will turn you into a monster."

Obito looked down, his black hair covering his eyes as his shoulders started shaking. For a split second Kakashi thought that he was crying. But when Obito looked up again, he wore a psychotic grin on his face. A few weeks ago, Kakashi would have flinched in fear. Now he could see past it.

It hid pain.

"Should you really be scolding me right now, Kakashi? _Vulnerable?_ Look at _your_ position." The thigh between his legs jerked up sharply, and Kakashi gasped. A new wave of arousal passed through him. Obito's unoccupied hand slid over his arse and squeezed the muscle of his buttock, hard. Slowly, he rasped his nails down the crack of his arse, the sound of nails against denim piercing the air.

Kakashi's heart hammered hard in his chest. "Obito. Not like this."

"Didn't you listen?" Obito's voice was deceivingly soft. "I don't care about what you want. I don't care about you. I will take you and then… I'll kill you right here. You needn't worry about me turning into a monster. Can't you see? It's too late. I am one. I've been one for many years. My hands are stained with blood. There is no going back."

"Just stop it! I can see past that facade!"

"There's no facade," said Obito coldly. "It's what's left of me."

Obito's hand slipped into his boxers and gripped Kakashi's cock hard enough for it to border on painful, and Kakashi let out a whine, withering in the hold. Obito stoke him with his thumb, pressing the digit over his slit at the sensitive head, uncaring of his obvious discomfort.

Despite – or maybe _because of_ – the painful ministrations, Kakashi hardened. Obito leaned closer, lips brushing his ear, the pressure of the knife easing, slightly. "I know you rejected me before. But what if I ask you now? Will you let me fuck you senseless, Kakashi?"

Kakashi heart thudded hard.

"Not a word," purred Obito. "That's very different from the decisive 'no' earlier. Does that mean you've changed your mind? Come on," he taunted when Kakashi remained quiet. "I know how important this is to you. _Consent_ ," he sneered. "I'm asking for it now..."

Kakashi snorted. "'Sleep with me or die'? Is that what we call consent these days?"

Obito pressed against him and Kakashi let out a low grunt. "I promised myself I wouldn't let you close to me until you had regained a sense of mind."

"So?" His voice was arrogant. "Is that a no?"

Kakashi didn't answer.

The knife was pulled away and flipped close, and Obito put it back in his pocket. Kakashi supposed he should feel honored Obito thought him dangerous enough that he would need it at all.

Obito's fingers entwined with his, and he started backing away. Kakashi followed. They went his room. Obito never laid down his guard, and there was no opening.

Once in the room, Obito let go for Kakashi's hands. They looked at each other for a moment.

Kakashi jutted out his chin. "Kill me, then."

Obito's eyes widened, narrowed again. He stalked closer, walking half a circle around him. Kakashi remained still.

"I wouldn't make it that bad for you, Kakashi." Obito stepped up from behind him, leaning closer. His breath fell on his neck. Kakashi's heart started to beat harder. "What I mean is… it wouldn't be bad. At all."

He fucking knew it wouldn't be. Heck, even when Obito tortured him he got turned on. Their chemistry couldn't have been better. If Obito actually made an effort he didn't doubt intercourse with him would be _brilliant_.

That wasn't the issue.

"Fuck off," rasped Kakashi. "I said 'no'."

"You want me," murmured Obito. He dragged his lips down Kakashi's neck, who felt his knees wobble. No matter how much he tried to stand strong when he faced Obito… it never seemed to work. Why was he so weak?

Obito's hands gripped his hips, pulling him back into himself.

"Fuck," he gasped, the word slipping out without his consent.

"That _was_ what I suggested..." drawled Obito.

Obito spun him around and shoved him into bed. He fell back and had only time to get up on his elbows before Obito had descended on him.

Something on the window still caught his eye. He couldn't believe Obito would be reckless enough to keep that thing… out there. In the open.

He grabbed it.

Within a second he was holding a gun – pointed right at Obito's forehead.

Obito froze.

One look in Obito's eyes informed him that this time; it was loaded.

Kakashi kept looking into Obito's eyes, watched him as they slowly regained their breaths. Obito didn't turn away and steadily held the gaze. Kakashi couldn't read it. He couldn't read him at all anymore.

Obito leaned closer, until the pipe was pressed against his forehead. "Do it," he said, eyes boring into his own.

Slowly, Kakashi pulled back his hand, changed the direction the pistol was pointed at. A second later he could feel the cool metal pipe against his temple. He unsecured it, the sound breaking the silence with a sharp click.

And though there had been no fear in Obito's eyes before, it most certainly was now – raw, unadulterated fear. He remained utterly motionless, eyes practically _begging_ Kakashi not to pull the trigger.

Kakashi smirked bitterly, and handed the gun back to Obito.

Obito took it, but he didn't seem to not know what to do with it. A weapon had never before looked so clumsy and out-of-place in his hands.

" _You_ do it."

Obito startled. His eyes went back to his. Silence followed.

"It was important that no one else got to take that away from you, wasn't it?" Looking into Obito's eyes, Kakashi lowered his eyelids. "Whoever else may or may not be after me won't matter after this. _I_ won't give you a second chance."

Obito stared at him.

"This is it," said Kakashi, voice lowered. "We solve this. Today. Either I die – by my own hand, if not by yours – or we move past this. I won't give you another choice."

Obito clenched his jaw, and then the pistol pressed against the side of his head, again. It wasn't such a scary feeling, anymore – not now when it had started to become familiar.

It wasn't that he _wanted_ to die. But Obito needed to know that he was serious. This was it. One thing was for sure – if nothing changed between him and Obito, he _would_ be driven to his own death. If not… well, he'd be as good as dead to Obito, at least – because he would give up on him, and if he could only be certain his friends were safe, he would hide in a place not even Obito could find him.

No matter how much he wanted to help Obito, there was only so much he could handle. He knew his own limitations. He had already pushed to them to their utmost extent and beyond for Obito.

Obito's conflicted feelings were practically written on his face. Kakashi could read him like an open book. It was weird – Obito had kept his mask for so long that Kakashi had almost forgotten...

Obito never had been one for concealing his true emotions.

"I can see…" started Kakashi, "I can see a boy curled up in pain." He lifted his hand and put it over Obito's heart, compassionate. "He's hurting."

Obito swallowed. "There is no such person that you speak of." His eyebrows narrowed in resolve. "You don't get it, do you? I haven't _got_ a heart. I feel nothing."

"Obito," said Kakashi thickly.

"Nothing," he repeated hollowly.

Kakashi didn't know who he was trying to convince.

Obito stiffened when he moved. Kakashi sat up, and leaned closer until his nose was under Obito's jaw. He nuzzled into him, breathing in the warm, intoxicating scent and started trailing kisses up the side of his neck. For a moment, Kakashi was convinced Obito would push him away – but he didn't move. The gun was still pointed against his head, though, unwavering.

"Obito…" Kakashi murmured. There was one thing he wanted to tell Obito if he really _did_ kill him this time. Something he had to know. "Obito. I love you."

Kakashi would feel Obito's heart skip a beat and he continued to caress his neck with his lips. The pistol in Obito's hand shook as he gripped harder into it.

Obito stayed frozen as Kakashi kissed him. Kakashi brought his mouth just below his ear. He might not get a second chance to say it. "I love you," he whispered, voice filled with emotion; trying to convey the feelings he carried by suckling gently on his skin when his words wasn't enough. "And I think… I always will. No matter what you do." Obito trembled, his head turning to give better access to his neck. "Come back to me," he murmured again against his skin, "Obito, please come back to me." Slowly he moved on to kiss his jaw. "Obito… "

He felt a naked in a way he couldn't explain, that didn't have to do with a lack of clothes at all – a vulnerability he hadn't felt before, and on some level he was sure Obito felt it, too. An emotional intimacy that left one utterly exposed. Normally, such a thing would make Kakashi want to pull away to a safe distance.

Not now.

"It's not too late to change, you know."

Obito turned his face towards him, his dark eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He looked so lost, so broken. He let the gun fall from his hands, before he shoved it away, almost vehemently, the weapon falling between his bed and the wall, hitting the floor with a clunk.

Then he fell to Kakashi's chest and wept.

* * *

A New Beginning

* * *

Kakashi and Obito were the only passengers left when the bus pulled to a stop next to a white painted church. They got out.

Konoha was as beautiful as ever. The sun was shining, and Kakashi imagined Rin smiling down on them. Her smile always seemed to bring sunlight with it.

Slowly, Kakashi and Obito walked into the graveyard. The gate squeaked upon its hinges as it was opened, and the sounds of pebbles crunched under their feet. Kakashi lead the way. Slowly, they made their way towards the gravestone where she lay buried.

It was spring. The grass was sprinkled with dandelions, daises and young buttercups. Birds were singing in the distance and the sun shone warm and gentle on their faces.

However, Kakashi got sad when he saw the grey, cold stone. It didn't matter how many times he came. It always hurt. After these many years, Kakashi had given up on the hope that it would ever stop hurting. The emptiness left behind her never faded away. His only comfort was that it got a little easier with every year that passed. But it would never fade away entirely.

After saying his respects to Rin, he backed away to leave Obito alone, but Obito caught his hand. "It's okay. You can stay. I want you to."

Kakashi nodded and Obito let go of his hand as he walked closer to the grave. He just stood there, silent, for a moment, almost as if gathering courage. It seemed difficult for him to talk.

"Hello Rin. I'm sorry for not, well… really visiting earlier." He took a deep breath. "I always regretted not telling you how I felt about you. So I'll say it now, even if it's a bit late."

Obito was silent a short time before he continued.

"Rin, I loved you." Tears formed in his eyes. "I still do. I've missed you so much."

Obito chuckled slightly. "I never knew what you saw in Kakashi. If I was capable of thinking one negative thing about you, I would have thought you were stupid to love him instead of me."

He glanced back at Kakashi and smirked. "But you know what? I can finally see what you saw in him. When you died, I thought I lost everything. I was so blinded by my grief that couldn't see what I had. I allowed people to use me, and manipulate me. I let darkness take over, and I hurt Kakashi. And many others.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm fine now. From now on… I'll try to do what is right, and not what is easy. I am so sorry if I made you worry. I know you died to protect Kakashi, and I've pretty much lived to do the opposite. I promise now to protect him, and not just for your sake, Rin. I… I love him. And Rin, can you believe it? He says he loves me too. Guess I finally found love that wasn't unrequited."

Kakashi felt a jolt in his chest. He stared intently at Obito, but Obito wasn't finished quite yet.

Obito smiled at the tombstone, tears still glittering in his eyes as he walked and laid a bouquet of white roses in front of it.

"Rin… I've got Kakashi now. You don't have to watch over me anymore. You can rest in peace."

* * *

 **THE END**

* * *

 **I was originally planning to wrap up more things in a final chapter, but after a while, I realized I couldn't possibly do all the stuff justice. There's still a story there, and just summarizing it in a few paragraphs would waste it.**

 **So I deliberately left the door open for an epilogue. ;)**

 **The main idea (so far) would be to write a story from Obito's POV, and it would include him and Kakashi struggling to rebuild trust in each other (and making a relationship work) more of the Akatsuki, more cute kids, Zabuza's gang, Gai awesomeness, Kakashi being badass, Obito fighting his own demons and, of course, Madara Uchiha...**

 **If I do write it… it may not be in another year or two (and right now, that's a pretty big IF) so if any of you are interested in 'adopting' this story idea, please let me know!**

 **AND FINALLY… Thank you SO MUCH for your support, especially to all my reviews and those who have recommended my fic to others. I'd like to thank you for taking the time to do that. An extra big thank you goes to tineyninja, jackita, NatNicole, MadaraUchiha-Chan, huntress9894Kris Senju, MVX, TfallingangelT, Shurli, and Adelene900 for being my best and most faithful reviewers.** **(I may have missed a few...Sorry. I'll add you when I return from my trip) Without your encouragement I probably wouldn't have finished this. I would also like to thank my two betas, my first beta, A0i – who I somehow lost touch with, though now I can't even remember now, but was with me through chapters to, and Master_iPad who came like a heroine in the middle of everything and helped A TON both with actual beta-ing and hilarious commenting. ;)**

 **PS. Any ideas of a better chapter name? XD Couldn't think of anything...**


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